Where to start life. How to start a new life: advice from psychologists. What worries you

Perhaps, in the life of every person there were periods when you wanted to drop everything, cross it out, erase it, break it and go away to burn bridges behind you to start a new life. How to start life from scratch, when all meaning is lost and disappointment in life reaches its climax? Adopt a series of fundamental changes!

Changes of any nature can be either quick, tough, comprehensive - revolutionaryor soft, long, gradual - evolutionary. Of course, evolution is better than revolution in the matter of changing one’s own life as well as in other areas.

Evolution is always less painful and destructive (both for the person himself and for those around him), but due to the fact that many people like to stretch their problems to the extent of a catastrophe, they often manage to solve them only in a revolutionary way. By analogy with the disease, we can say that while the life problem is small, it can be eliminated by taking pills, but if it is already life-threatening, a serious operation is needed.

For example, if a woman suffers for ten years her unemployed, messing around and just doing that, asking her for money for a drink, husband, while supporting him and his whole family, there is only one way out - divorce and eviction from the apartment. If the problem is that in the relationship between husband and wife there is less passion and more routine, the evolutionary method is suitable: make changes in life, responsibilities, add extreme, new things to life, change externally or internally to both or to one of the spouses and etc.

Is it easy to start life from scratch?

To start life from scratch, sometimes you need absolutely minor changessuch as repairing an apartment, talking with a wise person, changing your image, or traveling to a country you have long wanted to visit.

It happens that a new life begins unnoticed as a result of the gradual development of personality and self-improvement. But more often than not, people need fast and significant change in life circumstances, which is unlikely to happen by itself (or it will take another life).

As a rule, several cardinal changes or a complete change in lifestyle are required at once. To start living from scratch, you need to set yourself such target.

Unfortunately, there are people (and there are many of them) who live in ignorance or unwillingness to change something, even if life brings them only suffering. Such people either consciously choose the path of torment, considering it the right one, or simply find and receive unhealthy pleasure or hidden profit from their torment.

What do they want people aware of the need for life change? Most often these are such desires:

The problems that caused the desire to start life from scratch are different, for each person they are special (although they can be perceived by others as typical), but the ultimate goal is one - a happy life.

Each person wants to be happy, the only difference is that some people expect happiness as a miracle and believe in such an opportunity for themselves, others always complain that they have an unfortunate share and are not trying to change anything, while still others believe in a better life and create her own labor.

Analysis of the old and designing a new life

The Russian language is unusually rich in meanings. Very often, in words, stable phrases, sayings and proverbs, answers to many difficult life questions are hidden.

So the phrase “start life from scratch” already contains the answer on how to do this: arm yourself with a blank sheet of paper and a pen. For what? In order to describe the desired new life and begin to make the dream a reality.

There are no and cannot be universal recommendations on how to start life from scratch, but psychologists recommend sticking to the following action algorithm:

The very first and most important thing is understandthat it is time to start life from scratch, dare to do so, overcoming fears and self-doubt. There is simply no other way but to gain courage and courage.

You need to pick up a blank sheet of paper and write the title “My new, happy life!”

Answer two questions:

What prevents to be happy?

Answers should be written under each other in the left half of the sheet.

This question is easy for most people to answer. All that interferes with this is vital problems: unloved work, loneliness, unfaithful husband / wife, self-doubt, overweight, lack of money, etc.

You need to record everything that comes to mind, not only external interference, but also internal barriers. Then choose and emphasize the biggest and other difficulties generating life difficulties. It may be that the main problem is only one and, yanking it like a thread, it will be possible to unwind the whole tangle of troubles. If such a problem is detected, it needs to be highlighted.

What makes me happy?

The answers are also written in the column only to the right, opposite the first list.

Answering this question, you need to try to be extremely accurate. If you need money, then how much, if a husband, which one, and so on.

As a result, we get two columns that are very close in content, only the first will describe the problems, and the second will solve them. Perhaps one problem will have several solutions, or vice versa.

Decisions will be either cardinal, revolutionary or milder, evolutionary.

For example, annoying girlfriend interferes with living happily, constantly calling on the phone and talking for hours about her problems (as a result, things have not been done, the mood is at zero, frustrations at home and quarrels with them). For happiness, there is not enough either a sharp and complete breakdown in relations with a friend (a drastic measure) or a gradual reduction in the time spent communicating with her (a milder measure).

You need to imagine, dream about how you want to live, and then write down or sketch all the desires on a piece of paper.

These dreams should not be transcendental, but attainable. Dreaming, it’s not fashionable to imagine what is accepted, it is fashionable to want in society, but what will suit, complement, make truly happy.

One can imagine one day from a happy life and describe it: with what it begins, what kind of people are nearby, what the day is filled with, what is the work schedule, what kind of vacation and so on.

In fact, the picture of a happy life is a combination of answers to the question “What will make me happy?”, But not a fragmented, but integral.

From words to actions

After it becomes clear what you need to get rid of for good and what needs to be brought to life so that it changes radically for the better, you need to start active action.

Naturally, each person, after doing the analytical work, drawing up a picture of a happy life, building new plans, will have their own the goals, but as an example, will be described later active actionshelping to start living differently:

change of thinking from negative to positive,
increased self-confidence, optimism,
taking responsibility for one’s own life,
changing of the living place,
change of circle of communication, environment,
change of occupation or place of work,
change of marital status,
acquisition of a new hobby,
change of image, appearance,
getting rid of fears, complexes and other problems of a psychological nature,
resolving health problems
getting rid of bad habits and addictions,
acquisition of new, positive habits (walking in nature, reading, playing sports, living in the present and enjoy life, ask for forgiveness and forgiveness, help relatives, others).

It’s worth starting the change with the most important problem. For example, if life is poisoned by an unloved work, it is necessary, first of all, to change it, perhaps all other aspects of life will improve after that by themselves.

If it’s hard to start with radical changes, you can take on smaller ones, the main thing is to begin.

The second thing that is important to remember: dramatic changes must be deliberaterather than hasty. When leaving work, it is better to find another one in advance, or at least understand that you can find it. When leaving to live in another city, in advance and learn as much as possible about how people live there. Entering a new relationship, take a closer look at your partner, and not through the "pink glasses".

What is extraordinarily important to know and not to forget when changing your life is that any external changes impossible without internal transformations. Sometimes it is only internal work on oneself that serves a change in life.

For example, there is a huge difference in when a person moves to a new place of residence due to the fact that he cannot be realized as a professional and in a different situation, when he cannot manage to stay at any job because of an irresponsible attitude to work. In the first case, the person will move, find himself and stay for a long time (maybe forever), and in the second he will move from place to place, not realizing that he needs to change not his job or place of residence, but himself.

Hence another important conclusion: you need know what mistakes were made earlierso as not to repeat them in the future. At the same time, remember that no one is immune from mistakes. In a new life, they will probably also be, but they should not be perceived as a failure, it’s experience and so far it’s still possible to fix it, it must be done immediately, without delaying or increasing the scale of the problems.

And finally, even if you have to go nowhere, starting life from scratch, not knowing what lies ahead, it is better to take this risky step than to live your whole life feeling like an unhappy person.

Often people begin to think about how to start life from scratch. There is a desire to change something for the better, to start building relationships with people, career, life in a completely different way. For this, someone needs to change their place of work, move to another city, some stop communicating with some friends, and someone gets divorced. Sometimes, to start a new life, it is enough to make a number of changes, get rid of bad habits, and transform the worldview. The main thing is to know exactly what to strive for. Designate your goals, feel free to get down to business. You can start a new life right now, without delay.

Defining New Priorities
Have you decided that it's time to change something in life? Do you feel that your development is hampered by negative factors, lack of fresh impressions, new acquaintances? Then you have to start life from scratch. It's never too late to do. Do not be embarrassed, do not be afraid of changes: you quickly adapt to all the unknown, get invaluable experience. Immediately determine what exactly you are striving for, with which problems are already ripe.

Lack of communication. Oddly enough, many people suffer from a lack of communication. It is not a matter of quantity. Think about whether you are comfortable with your circle of acquaintances? How much do they support you, inspire optimism? Sometimes it is frequent communication with a certain circle of people that negatively affects the psychological state, self-esteem. Be open for new acquaintances, meet interesting people, go to evenings, receptions. It is possible that new friends will become a model for you in some way, will give you a boost of optimism, will lead you to curious ideas, and give you an impetus for development.
Lack of career growth, job satisfaction. Are you tired of waiting for a raise? Keep counting your paycheck? The financial situation is stable, but your work is very tiring physically, psychologically, does not bring satisfaction at all? Then it’s worth considering the changes in this area. It is important to be careful here. Objectively weigh the pros and cons so that quitting does not undermine your financial condition. Changes, job searches should not scare you on their own. Be objective. Perhaps for you there is already another way, perspective and reliable, you just don’t see it yet. Because they did not look. Do it without delay.
Place of residence. Sometimes you can even move to another city to discover new opportunities. Rate this way. If you are already convinced that your city does not have enough space for you, you are not able to apply the acquired knowledge, experience, find a decent job, you should consider a plan for moving and choose the most suitable geographical point. Well, if you have any friends or acquaintances there. In this case, the ability to clearly analyze everything and find the best option plays a huge role. First of all, pay attention to employment opportunities, accommodation and planned expenses in a particular area. You will also need to reinstall the necessary contacts, a circle of acquaintances.
A family. In some cases, you can start life from scratch only after a divorce, leaving your parental home. Unfortunately, relations with spouses and relatives are far from always successful, which negatively affects a person’s entire life. Sometimes there are paradoxical situations: it seems that people are good with each other, but together they are shackled, independent, can not reveal their potential. It is necessary to change the situation in a similar situation. It is not always necessary to completely stop communication, usually it is enough to “separate”, start living in your own home, and pay more attention to yourself and your personal life.
Appearance. Yes, this factor means the most to women. Someone may be surprised or laugh, but too big a nose, small chest, magnificent forms can fully determine the psychological state of a woman, her outlook on the world. Feeling uncomfortable, embarrassed, annoyed, such a woman misses many opportunities to change her life for the better. The ideal option is to combine two solutions to the problem at once.
- One way is purely practical. You need to take care of yourself, seriously take up workouts, lose weight, and overshadow the existing shortcomings with newly discovered virtues, re-created in a way that is catchy and memorable.
- The second way is also necessary. It is important to rebuild internally, psychologically, to love and accept yourself. Then life will begin from scratch.
Bad habits. Often it is extremely difficult for a person to give up bad habits. They no longer seem harmful, have become part of life. In this case, inconvenience is felt, there is a negative effect. You feel it's time to change. Proceed! And instead of old habits, develop new ones, replace the negative with the positive. Get used to loving and appreciating yourself, protect your health. Start life from scratch without the annoying dependence on bad habits.

Identify your top priorities. To start a new life, you need to find out exactly what exactly does not suit you in the current state of things. When all weaknesses are identified, it will be noticeably easier to plan for change.

We develop a specific plan and implement the plans
Try to come up with specific solutions right away. Find out exactly what steps you will take to start life from scratch. For example, a person who wants to abandon the smoking habit needs to solve very specific problems: choose the right exercises, form a diet, consult a doctor, and if necessary, consult a psychologist. The same plan will be needed in any other case. Act!

Right today. Do not delay implementation of your decision. No need to wait for a new zodiac year, a successful arrangement of stars. You build your own destiny, why waste time? Get started now.
We are writing a plan. Take a piece of paper and a pen, mark on paper all your goals, priorities. Write what prevents you from living a full life, developing, realizing your potential. Immediately indicate what exactly you need to do to overcome obstacles and get rid of negative factors. Approximately indicate the time you are going to spend on implementing your plans.
We keep a diary of achievements. Since you are already starting life from scratch, at the initial stage you will have a lot of things to do, both serious and less important, but also significant. You will change, transform the environment around you. Write down all your plans by day, do not confuse anything, be sure to note what has already been done. A daily review of your achievement diary will be a great incentive for further development. Any victory is pleasant, and when something did not work out, this is another reason to take up the matter with redoubled zeal. All in your hands!
We do not lose tradition. “Burn bridges” you do not have to. Try to change everything smoothly, without giving up on yourself in the past, without breaking relationships with people. You are not at war with yourself, the world around you. Why leave ruins behind? Let no man be offended. You are developing, you need to start a new life. Explain to yourself and others that this process is completely natural and natural. It’s just that you manage it yourself, and don’t let everything drift.
Look at the changes positively! Even if something did not work out right away, you should not give up. Remember how you learned to walk in childhood, often stumbled and fell. Do you now think when you walk, are afraid of each new step? Just do everything that depends on you, act and go straight to the goal. You will certainly achieve the desired result.

Many want to start life from scratch, but not everyone starts business for real. There is always a reason to postpone this "until better times." When you feel that it’s really time to change and change your life, take everything into your own hands at once. Start today to see the result tomorrow. And you will have better times.

By nature itself lies the desire for renewal, awakening every spring. It is enough for someone to replenish the wardrobe with topical things of the season or change the haircut, but there are many who would like more to get rid of the discomfort in their relations with themselves and the world. The reasons for this dissonance, internal and external, can be very diverse, therefore the tips below, how to easily start all over again, cover various aspects of life.

But before you begin the path to your ideal self, remember: first, the foundation of your improvements should be the acceptance of the past. Everything that once was and caused you to have a strong emotional experience, you do not need to deny, try to forget or blame yourself for what happened. Take difficult situations as a lesson, as the experience that made you wiser, and insurance against new such errors. Secondly, implement any changes smoothly, gradually, in portions. The English have a good expression of babysteps, that is, literally "baby steps." It is used when it comes to small changes that, one after the other, ultimately lead to a significant improvement in something. Good luck in all your endeavors! We hope that the suggested tips will help you with this.

Misunderstanding in any issue that you and your child, husband, colleague, parents, girlfriend, can grow like a snowball and lead to serious conflict. If you value a person, then, of course, strive to regain his trust and disposition, to feel on an equal footing with him again. Psychologists advise in this case a simple technique - mentally get out of the situation and look at it from the side, as if you are a third person, an outsider and disinterested observer. Such a “directing” of circumstances will help you see them in a new light and better understand your opponent: what are he right about and what kind of concessions are required of you, and where do your arguments outweigh and how to correctly convey them to your counterpart.

#food: replacing “harmful” with useful

In the spring, the body, exhausted by the low-sunny and vitamin-deficient winter with its SARS attacks, requires non-fancy hard diets that promise minus Nk by the beginning of the beach season. Feeling in good shape and enjoying your reflection in the mirror will help balanced nutrition. To smoothly switch to it, we repeat, you don’t need to sit on a celery smoothie and sprouted wheat sprouts from Monday. Introduce small but effective improvements into the diet: for example, replace sausage with boiled meat, mayonnaise with natural yogurt without additives or sour cream, white bread with whole grains, and sweets and sugar with fruits, dried fruits, frozen berries or honey. Another effective technique is a small reduction in the portion. Nutritionists have proven: a 10-15% reduction in the usual volume of food on a plate per year helps discreetly and easily part with 3-5 kilograms of excess weight. And you do not need to starve or abruptly change your menu.

# walks: more outdoor activity

Everyone has heard about the benefits and necessity of daily walks lasting at least an hour. How to keep your time in the fresh air, especially on weekdays, to normal? For those who have a child or a pet that requires a walk, the dog, of course, is simpler: you just need to increase the time of the walk, to master new, longer routes. The rest can be advised not every day to use the car and the service of delivering groceries to the apartment, part of the way from work home to walk (at least three stops). By the way, a pedometer disciplines many people - it can be installed as an application on a smartphone, bought with a separate gadget, or found among the functions of your watch. Step on your health!

# dream: the rightness of the Sleeping Beauty

Chronic fatigue syndrome and burnout effect we earn not only by living in a saturated rhythm of deeds, tasks, obligations. The habit of saving during sleep helps increase stress levels, gain weight and even premature aging, because the body does not have time to recover. The recommended 7-9 hours in the arms of Morpheus will do a miracle with you: do not be surprised where the energy and desire to change everything around comes from, a smile and a radiant look, inspiration and, one might say, an ingenious approach to work responsibilities.

The golden watch for falling asleep is the time between ten in the evening and midnight. If you are used to going to bed later, shift the time to bedtime to the ideal bar gradually, each time going to bed 15 minutes earlier than usual. It’s better to devote a couple of hours before going to bed not to the TV and social networks that clog the mind with unnecessary information, but to a walk (see the previous tip) and a good book.

#house: rearrangement of the terms of the interior

Change in the house will help you and your loved ones to feel new. If the family budget does not yet allow you to spend money on large repairs, large household appliances that facilitate housekeeping, and fashionable furniture, the effect of novelty will also result in low-cost changes. For example, the rearrangement of interior items, the replacement of textiles - curtains, bedspreads, pillows, transplanting flowers into pots of the same color and design, the acquisition of a stylish set of dishes instead of scattered cups, plates and saucers, easy repairs and similar improvements that are pleasing to the eye.

#house: getting rid of excess

We continue to help the house and ourselves to “be fed” with the pure energy of spring and be open to positive changes. It is not only a matter of Feng Shui principles, one of which is the regular disposal of one’s living space from unnecessary things, both old and new, but not useful. However, those who do not share fashionable eastern teachings will be convinced by the arguments of psychologists. Experts confirm: an unorganized workplace or room buried in papers, folders and stationery, in which too many things and furniture, especially old and broken ones, implicitly provoke irritability, internal discomfort, loss of strength and a desire to leave an uncomfortable territory.

So we part with the unnecessary boldly: toys, clothes and shoes will be welcomed in shelters, books - in community centers, libraries, bookcrossing points (free book exchange); waste paper, glass and plastic will be taken at recycling points. Let the principle be your guideline: if a thing has not been needed for a year, then you do not need it too much.

Sanfor Universal Gel; Sanfor WC Gel; Sanfor for pipes; SANFOR Whiteness Gel 3 in 1

#house: cleanliness is the key to comfort

Of course, no life begins from scratch without a clean space for it in all senses. Remember the proverb “What is at home, such is yourself”? Cleaning is an important and regular need. It can’t be undone, but you can and must change your attitude towards it. How to make home care easier, modern and effective? Start saving time and energy by attracting the right helpers!

For example, gel Sanfor universal able to replace ten (!) cleaning products for different surfaces and applications throughout the house. The tool will easily and quickly clean plumbing, ceramic tiles, household appliances and other floor and wall coverings that allow wet cleaning.

Means Sanfor WC gel help bring shine to the toilet room. It effectively dissolves water and urinary stone and prevents its formation in the toilet, removes rust, plaque, mold, grease and other difficult contaminants.

Water in pipes, as well as energy at home, should circulate without interference. Active gel formula Sanfor for pipes able to quickly eliminate even severe clogging in sewage, dissolve not only grease and dirt, but also hair. The gel completely neutralizes the unpleasant odor, often associated with blockage.

One more universal remedy necessary for inducing spring gloss in your home - SANFOR Whiteness Gel 3 in 1. It is a thick gel with an innovative whitening and stain removal formula. It is added when soaking laundry, used to clean the drains and drains of pipes, to bring shine and cleanliness to the bathroom and toilet.

Let the most effective tools and helpers be in your seasonal arsenal of struggle for cleanliness at home!

# new experience: going beyond the usual

We often feel tired from the groundhog day - a familiar routine of affairs, but at the same time we are afraid to change anything in our lives. Let your vaccination against the fear of change be a good new tradition - to regularly do something unusual for yourself. Have you always preferred yoga or Pilates? Take a step lesson in step aerobics or strip plastic. Are pantsuits and jeans prevailing in your wardrobe? Buy a cult fashion item for all time - a little black dress, and you will be pleasantly surprised by the ocean of compliments from colleagues and loved ones. Do you only order sushi and sashimi in a Japanese restaurant? Discover other dishes: miso soup, chicken or salmon with teriyaki sauce, yakitori kebabs and other gourmet joys. Expanding the scope of our life experience, we acquire new knowledge and skills, enrich erudition, make interesting acquaintances - in a word, we grow as a person.

#dreams: to herself a sorceress

No matter how old we are, our inner child remains with us. It is she, our princess, who is dreaming of a journey through elegant Europe or exotic Asia, a swing in a country house or a basket of roses for no reason, a sheath dress or boats displayed in a window of a luxurious boutique. Pamper yourself as much as possible, without delaying for an unknown period large, but quite realizable dreams. This remarkably raises the mood, self-confidence, and self-esteem!

# self-development: charging for the mind

By training your memory, you keep a clear head for many years. No special effort and time is needed for this: add the amount of purchases in your mind if the check does not have more than two to five positions while you wait for the line at the checkout; remember the mobile phone numbers of loved ones; solve crosswords; memorize your favorite aphorisms and poems. The desire to learn a foreign language is also an excellent gymnastics for the brain. Nobody forces you to learn grammar like at school: listen to films without dubbing, sing along to musicians, find a pen-friend in the social network of the country whose language you are learning. Be in great shape, not only physical, but also intellectual!

It is not for nothing that it is believed that the big world influences our inner sense of self in many respects and, on the contrary, what is on the soul determines the external picture. And we will support your desire to start from scratch, telling about the rules for quick cleaning of the house, methods of combating pollution, universal cleaning products and other secrets of perfect cleaning.

Easy and pleasant spring changes for you!

It happens that in a person’s life there comes a moment when there is a desire to start all over again, from scratch. Despite the fact that this may seem difficult or even impossible for someone, it is quite realistic, because for a person there are no frames and boundaries, except for those that he himself created for himself in his mind, depriving himself of the opportunity to live better.

How to start life from scratch? To do this, we must believe that any dreams come true. This is not a fantasy, but a fact that has many confirmations. Every day you see around you people who have achieved in life everything that they wanted. Each of us would like to join their number, but instead of making at least some efforts necessary to achieve the goal, we begin to invent reasons why we cannot do this.

There are many examples of how people born in very poor families found themselves at the top of fame and earned huge capital. What prevents you from being in their place? The life motive of successful people should not cause you to envy, it’s better to try to figure out what helped them to achieve.

Many people think that in order to start life from scratch, they are too old, lack any outstanding talents, or simply they don’t know anything. However, even people of advanced age learn new professions and technologies, you can discover talent in yourself by trying yourself in various directions, and learning anything nowadays is not a problem at all, since you can use books and the Internet for this.

Stop pitying yourself and start acting, because your life, your well-being and your success depend only on you!

Those who seriously think about how to start life from scratch can take advantage of several tips that will not only allow success in their endeavor, but also consolidate it.

Answer your questions about why and why you want your life to change. What do you expect from these changes? What negative consequences can these changes have and how can they be avoided? Make up an action plan for yourself, think over what you need to implement it and set yourself strict deadlines for when you will begin to implement your plan.

Having in your hands a similar plan, and not some kind of ghostly idea of \u200b\u200bwhat to do, you will get a much better chance that what you have outlined for yourself will be achieved. In addition, if at some stage you get off the right track, this plan will help you get back on track.

If you seriously want to know how to start life from scratch, say goodbye to your past, forget about your complexes and forgive all the insults that you received earlier. Start a more life filled with positive and optimistic. Focus on what you consider your strengths while developing faith in yourself and in your success.

Starting to change your life, start by getting a new wardrobe. Get new clothes, start using new cosmetics and perfumes, change your hairstyle. It will be even better if you can afford to collect all your old things and donate them to the poor. Develop your new style without being afraid to combine and experiment.

Change your habits, start playing sports, train yourself to take evening walks. If you have any desires that you could not realize earlier due to lack of time or any other circumstances, try to fulfill them. If you dreamed of learning to dance, sign up for dancing. Thinking about starting to speak English - start attending relevant courses. Get new ones, start a new hobby, read new books for you. Make the most of everything that will help you forget about your past life, otherwise all your efforts will turn into ashes, and you will return to where you started.

There is nothing complicated in starting your life from scratch. Just believe for this in yourself, in your strengths and begin to change yourself, not only externally, but also internally.

Whoever you are, if your life does not work out as you would like, you can start all over from scratch if you want. Nobody says that it’s easy, but if you plan to correct your past mistakes and strive for the life that you really want to live, you can become what you want, despite all the barriers. Never allow people who do not believe in you to undermine your faith in yourself or to think that in your position it is impossible to achieve success. If you ever have doubts, remind yourself that starting all over again is a great way to change your life for the better, and the people who have succeeded in this are universally respected. Start your journey to a new life with the first step.

Steps

Part 1

How to make a life change plan

Determine what went wrong. Write down everything that didn’t happen the way you wanted it to be put in order. Instead of looking for excuses, honestly admit what really happened. Sometimes it is more difficult to face a situation that you could not control than what happened as a result of your inaction or bad decisions. There are people who find it more difficult to admit that they contributed to the disaster or were its cause. A turn in life begins when a person admits what happened.

Of course, not all the bad things that happened in your life were purely your fault. You may have become addicted to drugs or act badly in relationships with people, but it may also be that you did not grow up in a favorable environment or simply fell victim to a banal failure. Do not blame yourself for things that you could not control, and learn to accept bouts of failure and try to overcome them, instead of using them as excuses for your current situation.

Learn from your failures. Even if you're out of luck, there are always ways to soften the blow if you fall into this situation again. If you failed the exam, what was the problem? Are you distracted or poorly prepared? You retrained and were so excited at the exam that you couldn’t remember anything? Did something important happen in your life, for example, breaking up a long relationship?
- Ask yourself these questions without judging or analyzing the answers. Do not look for excuses and blame others - stop doing this from the very beginning. You can only blame another person as a last resort. If it turns out that he really is his fault, you will have to reconsider your priorities and relations with this person. Friend, one of your parents or your other half constantly distracted you from studying with requests to pay attention to it? How can you learn to respect your personal space so that this does not happen during the next exams?
Think about whether you need to reconsider your goal. Despite the fact that this may seem extreme to you, before drawing up a plan for changing your life, it can help you reconsider the direction in which you want to move. For example, do you have to go to university to succeed in a profession that can make you happier? Would you rather take a shorter training in an internship or in a vocational school? If you are a physically active person and will feel happier and more fully when you see the result of your work, then scientific or office activity may not be such a good choice as construction, electrical installation, heat supply and ventilation, soldering work, automotive mechanization or forestry.
- Change the approach: your new life should not move in the same direction that failed the last time. Life consists of trial and error (and not losses as such). This means that losing attempts are just attempts that failed, for example, a medical or law university was not for you. If you went to study as a lawyer because of a passion for politics, perhaps active political activity, advice on political campaigns, etc. will be the best option so that you can achieve your long-term goals.
Ask yourself what you can fix. What changes in your life can you make to prevent this from happening again? If you have been affected by a natural disaster, you can purchase emergency remedies and store them in a more accessible place so that if this situation happens again, you have everything you need with you. If you lost your job or broke up with a guy / girl, think about what you can do to prevent this from happening at your next job or in a future relationship.
- Perhaps certain people or situations pulled you down and were one of the factors that led to failure. Review your relationship and think about whether you have problematic friends or acquaintances who prevent you from becoming what you want. If so, then you may need to break off such a relationship.
Define your priorities and choose goals. Once you find out what went wrong and why, it's time to plan a new life. A plan is not a clear schedule of your life. Its points may change over time, you will encounter obstacles and encounter unexpected successful turns and opportunities, regardless of which path you choose. If you know what you want and more or less understand how to get it, then it’s easier to start setting goals for a short time to achieve what you want.
- Do not worry if you do not have an ideal plan for success in 10 steps. It may be more difficult for you to reach your goal if you write something like “Find your calling” or “Love yourself more.” Start with a few steps that, as far as you know, will improve the situation. As you move forward, you will have a better idea of \u200b\u200bwhat you really want to succeed.
- The most important thing is to take action. Despite the fact that the expression “actions speak more than words” may sound like a cliché, this is absolutely true. You can say as much as you like that you are going to start a new life, but until you take the first step towards it, your words will have no meaning.
Talk about your plan with a friend or family member who can support you. It’s best to talk to someone who has nothing to do with what happened, especially if he had a similar problem. When you are on the verge of expulsion from school, the situation can be saved. Talk to older students who have faced the same difficulties and find out how they got out of position. If you had a breakup, ask others what they think about how you behaved and how your boyfriend / girlfriend acted. You might be surprised. Your friends could even have foreseen such an outcome of events.
- By sharing your difficulties and worries with the person who cares about you, you can feel that you can really start all from scratch, as well as get good advice.
- If you tell others about your plan, you may be more likely to implement it. If you actually tell someone that you want to turn your life around, it will be more likely that you will do it, because you will feel responsible for your words to this person. Thus, if you do not stick to the plan, you will feel that you are letting yourself down. and people who worry about you.
Decide on your intentions. It is advisable that they be preceded by earlier steps. Take time for these intentions, for example, you can devote several evenings to reading books. Sometimes decisiveness and willpower help you fulfill your intentions. Sometimes for this you need to transform your life. If you turn off the instant messenger program on your computer while you are doing your homework, you will not be absorbed in long conversations with friends until the time allotted for your studies ends. Your life change plan can be built from a series of tiny steps. You will not be able to turn everything over in one day, but if you constantly make small changes in your life, you will achieve success.
- One of the best ways to train willpower is to give yourself small rewards for each successfully completed item. Each time you do your homework, mark your achievements on a scale of points. Keeping track of the small steps of progress and making yourself small, but frequent rewards is one of the best ways to achieve your goal. Think about how the game is built - how often and for what you get points. If you distribute your rewards in the same way as points are awarded in your favorite game, you can get the same effect to change your habits.
Get rid of your bad habits. For every bad habit you have a real excuse. If you understand what needs and desires fill your bad habits, you can find the key to turning them into useful ones. Your favorite video game can bring you more emotions than studying, because you get points, “you won” windows appear, etc. If you use the points scale for achievements in studies, set up a reward system and make the points a little easier to get than in the game, it will help you deal with your problem. If you eat too much to bring pleasure, but gain weight, replace this habit with something else that will bring you pleasure.
- Each bad habit satisfies real needs, so your task is to understand how this can be done without harming yourself or others and helping yourself achieve your goals, and not lowering yourself.
Find people who will support you. Usually, it’s good if these are your parents or good friends. It must not be the person who dragged you into this situation. Pay less time and attention to the people who pull you back. Being mad at them means giving them time and attention. It’s better to use this energy not for anger, but for the desire to surpass yourself and say: “I will do it. I will show them ”than to use it against these people. Each time you perform another item from your list, you can tell them how great it is to take the next step forward.
- Of course, there will be obstacles in your way. It `s naturally. Therefore, it will be easier for you if you have people with whom you can talk about your plan, about successes and failures.
Look ahead firmly and do not believe anyone who believes that you cannot start a new life. If you have made progress earlier, then you have evidence that you can reach heights. The more honest you are with yourself, the easier it will be for you to choose the best direction. The best way is the one that brings you joy when true passion sets fire to your efforts, and the process brings so much pleasure that you would do it even if you did not strive for the goal.
- On the way to achieving the goal, do not forget to enjoy it. Treat this not as a test, but as an exciting adventure in which there will be successes and failures, but which will ultimately lead you to where you need to be.
Part 2
How to stay strong
1. Be positive about everything. On the way to a new life, it is important to remain optimistic and energetic. Despite the fact that this may seem impossible (especially if you live in really terrible conditions), the more you try to look at each day with a smile, instead of complaining and feeling depressed, the more chance you will get what you necessary. Instead of complaining, talk about something good in life, about what you look forward to. Despite the fact that from time to time you need to release negative emotions, if you focus on the bad aspects of life, it will only be more difficult for you to cope with them.
  - If you spend time with happy and positive people, it can also help you maintain a positive attitude towards life. If you spend time with those who see only the worst in any situation, you are much more likely to feel the same way.
2. Keep your confidence. Of course, when you want to completely rebuild your life, it is easy to lose heart, but you must remember those things for which you love yourself, instead of those that you need to work on. Although it’s important to acknowledge your shortcomings and, if possible, try to correct them, it’s also important to remember everything that you love yourself and that makes you wonderful. Make a list of your positive qualities and the things you excel at. Work to replenish this list with words and deeds.
  - One way to increase self-confidence is to do what you do well. Nothing will bring you more pleasure than success in what is easy for you.
  - Although it may take a lot of time to gain self-confidence, you won’t be bothered to design it, to "fake" it, even if you don’t feel it. Stand straight, keep your head high and look straight, not down. Keep your hands on your sides to be open to opportunities, instead of closing yourself from new contacts. The more often you “fake” your confidence in this way, the more chances you have to feel it in reality.
3. Feel the responsibility. It is important to be accountable for your actions and past mistakes that led to your current situation. Once you have recognized where you made a mistake, you can move forward much faster. If you persistently blame the whole world for 100% of your problems, you will not feel that you have the means by which you can fix everything. If you are responsible for the negative moments in your life, then you will feel full responsibility for your achievements.
  
  Do not take yourself too harshly. Although it is important to be responsible, it is equally important to treat yourself with care and forgiveness. Everyone makes mistakes, and you should not think that you are a loser just because you went the wrong way. Treat yourself with compassion, kindness and compassion, and you will see that moving forward will be much easier. If you find fault with yourself, it will be almost impossible to feel confident and positive, and this will stop you from achieving your goals.
  - Being self-critical is not the same as blaming yourself. Criticism helps: it shows why you are doing certain things and whether something else can be done. She identifies the problem. Blaming yourself is pointless to torture yourself. You are already unpleasant, and criticism will not motivate you to do anything else. If you blame yourself or others, the situation may happen again. If this happened more than once, seriously pay attention to this opportunity.
4. Apologize to everyone you hurt. It is important to correct old mistakes before moving forward with a pure soul. Think of all who you might hurt or hurt when you had difficult times. Try to apologize to them in person or in writing and say how much you regret what happened. They may not forgive you completely or do not believe that you are really going to change until you prove the opposite to them. But still, this is a step towards better change.
  - If the thought that you hurt someone depresses you, it will be harder for you to move forward. Despite the fact that it can be difficult to completely get rid of the bad past, apologizing to the people you offended, you will take a step in the right direction and you will feel confident.
5. Help others. It may seem to you that helping other people is the last thing you can do when you yourself can barely put your life in order. But if you are ready to stand firm and start living anew, slow down for a moment and help someone who needs it. This person can be a friend who is having a harder time than yours, a neighbor who is lonely, or even an adult who wants to learn how to use a computer.
  - Helping others, you will not only change their lives, but also see that you really can offer a lot to society and the world as a whole.
6. Recognize what you have lost in life. To start all over again, you will need some courage, but endless freedom awaits you as a reward. Recognize what you have lost and what you have given up, leading your present life. So you will begin to realize what is of real importance to you. Honesty with oneself is a very powerful driving force. It will help you start to be more attentive to yourself and your needs and choose the right path.

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