Which gives you confidence. Powerful ways to increase self-confidence. the most effective actions to increase male self-esteem

We have collected for you 10 wonderful books that will help you believe in yourself and just cheer you up.

The main idea of ​​books on practical psychology is easy to summarize in a nutshell. But when this idea is written for 200-300 pages and reinforced with examples from the author's practice, the training effect appears. And such a book can really benefit and even change fate!

Carol Dweck
Publisher:"Mann, Ivanov and Ferber"
Everyone says that thoughts are material, but few explain how exactly you need to think in order for your plan to materialize. Stanford University psychology professor Carol Dweck has done extensive research on attitudes. Briefly, they can be reduced to two types. The first type is when you consider yourself as a “given” (“I am a genius” or “I am a nonentity”). If you know people whose catchphrase is: “I am who I am - I can’t be changed,” it’s about them. For their problems, such people tend to blame the government, partners, ecology, fate ... According to Carol, setting the "given" does not lead to the heights of success. People of a different plan understand that the current situation is only a starting point for growth, and in case of failure, they analyze their own mistakes and shortcomings. The examples in the book will show you how to change the “given” attitude into the “development” attitude. This will allow you not only to grow, but also to react less painfully to the difficulties that arise.

When NASA considers applications for astronaut candidates, they reject applicants with clean success stories and favor those with significant lapses in their backgrounds, after which these people were able to rise again.

Caroline Eljacheff, Natalie Einisch
Publisher: Natalia Popova, "By the way"
The peculiarity of this psychological study of two French women - psychoanalyst Caroline Eljacheff and journalist Nathalie Einisch - is that it is based not on the analysis of real clinical cases, but on well-known literary works and films that, one way or another, relate to the relationship between mother and daughter. After all, fictional characters have all human virtues and vices in a concentrated form. The main meaning of the study is the unequivocal statement that any isolation adversely affects the mother-daughter relationship, as well as any other relationship between people. This is a very bold, in some ways even tough and radical book. She destroys illusions and blows up castles in the air. After reading, you will take a different look at the relationship with your own mother, perhaps you will finally say to her the words that it was high time to say to her. In any case, this is a great textbook on building the boundaries of your own personality.

Conflict contributes to the development of relationships, as it allows you to comprehend and pronounce contradictions, as opposed to suppressing or idealizing relationships.

Michael Clayton
Publisher: Pretext
Your professional knowledge and skills will never be appreciated if you do not know how to clearly and reasonably talk about them. Due to communication problems, families break up and friendships collapse. American business coach and professional speaker Mike Clayton has created an excellent textbook, after studying which you will learn how to find a topic for conversation in any society, attract and hold the attention of an audience, and convey your message in a fascinating and convincing way. In the future, you will have to train and hone your knowledge in a variety of situations: in a friendly conversation, during a difficult conversation, when emotions are running high and the stakes are high, at official events and public speeches in front of a full house. Feel the power of your words, and let words become your true weapon! In addition to valuable advice on the development of a rhetorical gift, you will learn a lot of interesting things about the psychological laws of perception and transmission of information.

If you want to feel confident and decisive, put your feet wider, wider than your shoulders. Now place your hands on your sides with your elbows turned outward. Straighten your shoulders and slightly push the lower jaw forward. Hold this pose for 30 seconds.

Jack Schafer, Marvin Carlins
Publisher:"Mann, Ivanov and Ferber"
Jack Schafer worked for the FBI for a long time. So the “trick” of the book is real stories about how representatives of the special services recruit agents, ingratiate themselves with criminals and work with witnesses, almost instantly endearing strangers to themselves. You will learn how by the movement of the eyes, nose, ears and other parts of the body you can understand whether a person is lying, telling the truth or falling asleep while you were trying to analyze his psychological portrait. This experience will be quite useful at home, at work, in companies. You probably use many “secret developments” for verbal and non-verbal communication, only unconsciously: an interested head tilt, eyebrow play, a smile, copying the interlocutor’s gestures, etc. As a bonus, there is an entire chapter dedicated to online relationships. By following the recommendations of the book, you will not only create a reputation for being a pleasant person in communication, but also learn how to benefit from your contacts.

Make it a habit to ask people direct yes or no questions and listen carefully. If you hear "well" or don't get a straight answer, you are probably being scammed. Therefore, further verification is required.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Publisher:"Sofia"
This is a book you will read and reread! It tells that inside every woman lives a primordial being, full of good instincts, compassionate creativity and eternal wisdom. But this creature - the Wild Woman - is on the verge of extinction. Civilization, the need to conform to the standards set by no one knows who suppresses everything “wild” in us - that is, natural. But the spirit of the Wild Woman is indestructible. And it can manifest itself in you again and become your creative center, a source from which you will draw inspiration and desire to live. You just need to make a decision to return to yourself - the original. And gradually get rid of our fears, neuroses, complexes, many of which we are not aware of or do not want to be aware of. Psychology, philosophy, mythology, an original interpretation of fairy tales and a whole bunch of other interesting things have been prepared for you by the author, a researcher of myths from different cultures and an expert on Jungian psychoanalysis.

Go to the forest, go! If you never go into the forest, nothing will ever happen to you and your life will never begin.

Ute Erhardt
Publisher:"Class"
The subtitle of this brilliant bestseller is Why Doesn't Obedience Bring Happiness? Its author is not a feminist, but simply a reasonable woman, for whom inner freedom and spiritual harmony are important, a fair balance between her own interests and the interests of her partner. The book is written in a somewhat provocative manner, so not everything here can be taken literally. Phrases like “men force women to wear skirts because they are uncomfortable to walk in, and this makes a woman more submissive” can be skipped with a calm soul, attributing to the peculiarities of the structure of German society. But after reading, you will be able to realize and evaluate your actions from a new perspective - actions that previously seemed natural and self-evident. It seemed to you that you did everything right, following the advice of people who were authoritative for you. But have you become happier because of your “obedience”? Isn't it time to rebel and stop being "good" for everyone?

Women sacrifice themselves and believe that these sacrifices will be noticed and gratitude will certainly come.

Sheryl Sandberg
Publisher:"Alpina Publisher"
A Facebook COO's candid memoir of her rise as a female CEO and hard-won career advice may seem out of touch with the realities of your life. But only at first glance. All over the world, women follow the unwritten rules of survival in the male business world: keep a low profile, do not demonstrate your intelligence and ambitions, do not enter into conflicts, and in general - attract less attention to yourself. In addition, women are held back by their own internal barriers. They find hundreds of reasons to give up professional growth in favor of the family. Sandberg talks about the main thing - about the conscious choice of your destiny, and it is not so important what you ultimately choose - the life of a housewife who has devoted herself to her husband and children, or a top manager. What would you do if you weren't afraid? With the answer to this question, a great adventure begins, at the end of which the “jackpot” is sure to await you.

Instead of thinking, "I'm not ready to do this," you should say to yourself, "I want to do this - and I'll learn everything in the process.

Nick Vujicic
Publisher:"Eksmo"
If Nick Vuychich did not exist, he would have to be invented. He is by far the coolest motivating coach in the world. Nick was born without arms or legs, but in many ways he is more complete and happy than most of us. He has two higher educations, he is rich and famous, he has a beautiful wife and beloved children. He managed to do so much that even a tenth would be enough for an average person to say that his life was not lived in vain. He tells his story with inimitable humor and convinces by his example of seemingly obvious things that we often, unfortunately, forget. That we must love ourselves and love our lives. That on our way there are different trials, but we must not give up. You need to continue to live on, help those whom you are able to help, and sooner or later brighter times will come. Nick really has a lot to learn, and this book will help you resurrect faith in goodness and the attainability of happiness.

If you don't have a friend, become a friend yourself. If you're having a bad day, do something nice for the other person. If you are in pain, ease the other person's pain. You will never know how you can change the world if you don't show kindness yourself.

Life is an attraction of ups and downs. If we live at high speed, they quickly replace each other. And we do not have time to prepare for a long time for an important event or to recover from a painful setback. That's when we need an express boost of self-confidence. But how to get it without the help of others?

Try to apply several scientifically proven techniques - this will help rebuild your mind in a positive way and get rid of destructive reflection. They work instantly, helping in situations where the further development of events largely depends on faith in one's own strengths - in business, in studies, on the personal front.

1. Assume the winner's pose and stay in it for 2 minutes

In her TED talk, which has over 30 million views, Harvard University social psychologist Amy Cuddy talks about body language and the transmission of confidence. So, in her recent study, two groups took part - they were all potential applicants.

Feel how you are filled with power. Imagine being an Olympic champion

It turned out that those who took "power poses" before the interview showed a higher percentage of success than those who did not. They also had higher testosterone levels and lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

Before any difficult task, practice the "power pose". You can take it in the morning right after waking up, in the elevator or in front of the bathroom mirror. "Aim to take up as much space as you can without sacrificing interior comfort," advises Amy Cuddy.

Superhero Pose: Stand up straight, shoulders back, chin slightly up, hands on waist, and feet hip-width apart. Feel yourself filling with strength and hold this position for two minutes. Try to breathe deeply and rhythmically. You can also do starfish pose with your arms raised in a V shape. Imagine yourself as an Olympic champion on a pedestal.

2. Imagine yourself many years later

A vivid and detailed idea of ​​what your life will be like in the future helps to overcome the fear of failure. New York University marketing technology lecturer Hal Hershfield asked the participants in his study to imagine what would happen to them in 10 years.

After that, he showed some of the respondents their "aged" images, and then invited everyone, without exception, to become investors in start-up projects. Those who saw their portrait as adults tended to invest twice as often as those who did not. It turned out that by drawing pictures of the future and clearly presenting it, we rather strive to bring it closer and act more actively and decisively.

3. Give thanks to life

This is another way to see new horizons in front of you despite the recent stress. After being fired, divorced and in debt, it was not easy for aspiring business coach and single mother Jen Scalia to get back on her feet and start living from scratch. To do this, she decided to invest in herself and take a number of distance courses in business and personal development, and also performed several practices daily. All together helped her increase the profitability of the training business project from zero to half a million dollars.

When we feel gratitude, we think positively and feel energized.

“My first daily practice was gratitude. Every night I remembered the most wonderful things that happened to me and that I saw in my life. Anything - a waterfall, a compliment from a close friend, a victory in a new project ...

Gratitude allows you to focus on the positive things, because we take a lot for granted. When we feel grateful, we think positively and feel energized,” says Jen Scalia.

The next stage of auto-training was gratitude for the things that the woman had yet to receive.

“For example, instead of saying, “I want to have two more new clients this month,” I would say to myself, “I’m so grateful that I now have two more great clients.” Our minds are easily deceived. So these affirmations really help to believe in success and, ultimately, attract it, ”explains the business coach.

They apologize to others all the time. They do what others want, sometimes to the detriment of their own interests. Such people are always very unhappy. They do not develop relationships with other people because they are often used.

And when an insecure person, having suffered too much, leaves, then in his life there comes a place for resentment. But, not being able to express their emotions and feelings, resentment passes into the subconscious and thus, sooner or later, a person begins to get sick physically.
We have prepared for you quotes that will give you self-confidence. Save them for yourself and re-read when in doubt!

You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. Zig Ziglar


Faith in oneself can work the same miracles as faith in the Lord God. Honore de Balzac

It is better to be confident when you are wrong than to be doubtful when you are right. Janusz Wisniewski

Self-confidence is the first condition of great enterprises. Samuel Johnson

Self-confidence forms the basis of our confidence in others. François de La Rochefoucauld

Don't think about the problem, think about the solution. Zedd

When you yourself recognize the magnificence of your individuality, others will have no choice but to agree. Vadim Zeland

If only you could understand how important you are to the lives of those you meet; you can be as significant to other people as you can imagine. There is something of you that you leave behind in every person you meet. Fred Rogers



Never force yourself into silence. Never allow yourself to be a victim. Acceptance should not be the definition of your life, define yourself. Harvey Feinstein

Right now, you have everything you need to handle everything the world can throw at you. Brian Tracy

Feed your mind with great thoughts, because you can never go higher than you think. Benjamin Disraeli

If you want dignity, act like you already have it. William James

Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you alive. And then go ahead and do it. Because the world needs people who become alive. Howard Washington Thurman

There is only one corner of the universe that you can improve with confidence, and that is yourself. Aldous Leonard Huxley

The tragedy is that so many people seek self-confidence and self-respect everywhere, but not within themselves, and therefore they fail in their search. Nathaniel Branden

Let the world know who you are, not who you think you should be, because sooner or later if you pose you will forget that pose and where will you be? Fanny Brice



What a man thinks of himself determines, or rather directs, his destiny. Kahlan

A wrong note played clumsily is just a wrong note. A false note played confidently is improvisation. Bernard Werber

Hope exhausts, and confidence allows you to save a lot of strength. Max Fry

Accept everything about yourself, I mean absolutely everything. You are you and this is the beginning and the end, no apologies, no regrets. Clark Moustakes

You yourself, more than anyone else in the universe, deserve your love and affection. Buddha

Self-esteem is a defining thing for the formation of personality. How a person will treat himself, what goals he decides to set for himself directly depends on the level of its development. There is nothing sadder than the case when a talented person suffers from various complexes, does not know how to value himself. This is where all sorts of problems come from. With such an approach to life, it is impossible to achieve success.

The individual puts many obstacles in his way. It is possible to realize the existing abilities only when we appreciate our prospects. Let's take a closer look at how to give yourself confidence and increase self-esteem. To do this, you must learn to pay attention to some important points.

Change of environment

The people who are nearby play an important role in our life. We all cannot live without communication, because this is the only way to feel like a truly significant and self-sufficient person. Not surprisingly, the change of environment has a significant impact on the individual development of personality. Various psychological traumas contribute to the formation of a stable unwillingness to realize their talents. As a result, abilities remain undiscovered.

It is especially insulting when people really have certain talents, but do not dare to declare them because of their catastrophic indecision. How to give a person confidence if he does not see a worthy way out for himself? It is necessary to analyze the situation well, try to honestly answer the following questions: what is the most important for me in life, do I realize my own value and significance? Only after a detailed analysis of the situation, it will be possible to make an informed decision.

Constant self-development

Self-esteem directly depends on the level of existing achievements. If you have something to be proud of, then it will certainly be easier to start appreciating yourself. When the level of achievement is low, sometimes it is necessary to grow it artificially. What can you do to give yourself confidence? What should you pay attention to? It is imperative to periodically remind yourself that you are worth something. Do not underestimate your abilities, and even more so publicly criticize yourself. You won't achieve anything by doing this.

Self-esteem is a fickle and unstable thing, it must be maintained at the proper level all the time in order not to think about how to solve the problem later. You need to give yourself confidence before the complexity becomes noticeable. It is always better to prevent some negative situation than to try to hastily solve it later.

Get out of your comfort zone

Strange as it may seem to some, moving forward is possible only when obstacles are overcome. If the victory is too easy, then it is not appreciated. Only what we have achieved with hard work begins to matter in our eyes. That's how personality is. Most people are afraid to leave their comfort zone because they are afraid of adverse changes. In fact, this is a veiled fear of life, reinforced by an unwillingness to understand their own depressing circumstances. Obsessed with their fears, people are unable to move forward. That is why it becomes impossible to build a fulfilling life and feel like a truly happy person. A person is able to grow and develop only in obedience to his own desire. You need to learn to rely on your inner core.

Stop comparing

In order for self-esteem not to fall to an unimaginable level at a certain period of life, it is necessary to work on yourself. Many people do not understand what it is, and even more close in their negative thoughts. It is necessary to get rid of the habit of comparing existing achievements with those that other people have. Remember that everyone has different conditions and circumstances, respectively, and the result cannot be the same. Thinking about how to give the child self-confidence, you need to strive with all your might to emphasize his individuality.

Not comparing is a step in the right direction. Parents who seek to instill a sense of self-worth in their children act prudently. They help to form trust in the world, to realize their true intentions and desires.

Don't let yourself be sad

In life, not everything can be achieved the first time. Sometimes you have to make some efforts in order to translate your plans into reality. Sometimes you have to fight, learn to defend your own position. We must not despair, but keep moving forward. On the way to the goal, there are always obstacles to overcome. Driving away sadness from ourselves, we thereby attract good luck, set ourselves on the path of boundless joy. Every person wants to have their own achievements. It is good when it can be done without additional tests. Unpleasant events are not yet a reason to despair and give up your own prospects. If you want to achieve something significant in life, you should not allow sadness and despair into your heart.

Taking responsibility

Nobody will do it for you. Only realizing your strengths and weaknesses, you can claim and hope for something. Taking responsibility means, first of all, refusing to blame. It is necessary to understand the reasons for what is happening in order not to return to unpleasant questions in the future. It is very useful to realize that for every action we take, we bear full responsibility.

Nothing happens in life just like that, everything is conditioned by something. Thinking about how to give confidence to a man, you need to be able to free yourself from stereotypes. The representative of the stronger sex also has the right to express their feelings, revealing deep feelings. If a person thinks in patterns, then he can hardly feel happy, guided by such beliefs.

self-expression

Many people ask how to give confidence to a teenager? The fact is that it is during the transitional age that many internal searches and aspirations fall. With the help of effective self-expression, you can really become a more confident person. This requires a certain amount of courage and perseverance. It is necessary to allow the child to go in the direction of his dreams, not to interfere with new beginnings.

Constant movement

Physical activity has a positive effect on a person's condition. Health improves, a large amount of positive energy is released. You can give self-confidence if you start to systematically move, perform certain exercises. Physical activity is necessary in order to keep the body in excellent shape, to have a good mood.

affirmations

Thinking about how to give yourself confidence, you should not ignore this point. Affirmations are a very powerful thing. Even if someone can hardly believe in their action, they really work. You can make up positive statements for yourself or use those that helped great people achieve success. The main thing is that you need to repeat them systematically, without trying to evade the process. By repeating a set of positive affirmations aloud daily, the mind is gradually reprogrammed for success.

The problem with most people is that they sink into anxious thoughts instead of taking action. This is a big mistake. This is why tremendous opportunities are overlooked, and the credibility of the world is lost as a result. People often prefer to suffer instead of thinking about how to give themselves self-confidence. Turning to affirmations, you can really correct an unsatisfactory situation. It just takes a little patience and work on yourself.

Celebrate Achievements

Most people are able to notice only the negative aspects of current events. Sometimes it just happens out of habit. The thing is that only a few people find the strength in themselves to take care of themselves. Some simply go with the flow and do not consider themselves capable of changing an unsatisfactory situation.

Without believing in our own strength, we will not be able to achieve anything truly significant. You can give yourself confidence if you start celebrating your achievements. You need to do this constantly to form a good habit. It is even recommended to have a special notebook where it will be convenient for you to write down your daily victories. This must be done in order to be able to notice your achievements. Even if they seem insignificant to you, it is still worth paying due attention to them.

Attending trainings

Many people, unfortunately, neglect this possibility. But in vain! Attending personal growth trainings can help change consciousness, add a lot of bright colors to everyday reality. In addition, in such classes you can really get to know people who are interested. Having like-minded people makes it much easier to move forward. Indeed, in this case, we begin to look at those people who are nearby. By changing our environment, we invariably become better. To date, there is an opportunity to undergo various trainings. Sometimes you don’t even have to travel outside your own city for this. The development of Internet technologies makes it possible to search for the information that is necessary for qualitative development. Today, everyone can decide for themselves what suits them best and what they should pay attention to.

Thus, self-confidence must be nurtured, and then constantly maintained. If a person does not take responsibility for what is happening, he will begin to seek to blame others. You can achieve a state of complete spiritual harmony only if you take full responsibility for what is happening.

Ecology of life. Life hack: Self-confidence is one of the most desirable states that many people want to get. Self-confident people always have a huge impact on those around them. They get more resources, they achieve better results, they have richer and more interesting lives, and so on.

If you want to succeed, keep believing in yourself even when no one else believes in you.

Abraham Lincoln

Self-confidence is one of the most desirable states that many people want to achieve. Self-confident people always have a huge impact on those around them. They get more resources, they achieve better results, they have richer and more interesting lives, and so on.

Fear and uncertainty arise from the thought that we do not or will not have enough resources to cope with the situation.

The cause of insecurity and low self-esteem can be:

1. As a child, your abilities, appearance, achievements were constantly criticized by parents and authority figures.

2. You are surrounded by negative people who constantly criticize and underestimate you.

3. You have failed in the past and have made this event very important.

4. You are constantly comparing yourself to people who are better than you in various ways.

Crocodile Gena walked near the railroad tracks. Suddenly, he heard the sound of an approaching train. "To cross or not to cross the road?" Gena thought. The train is getting closer. "To go or not to go? Will I succeed or not?" - Gena began to think feverishly. The train is even closer. Finally, when a beep sounded just above his ear, Gena rushed across the tracks. He looked back - and the tail was gone! Cut off by train. "Well, what, ass, fussed ?!" Crocodile Gena yelled in a voice that was not his own.

What can you do to boost your self-confidence?

Do you want to live with her all your life? Confidence is trained, just like any skill, with regular repetitions. The only difference is that developed confidence will have a positive impact on all areas of your life.

Below are 5 daily actions that are guaranteed to boost your self-confidence.

Action #1. Goal training

Set daily goals for the day and be sure to try to achieve them. Such training develops the confidence that you are capable of achieving what you want.

For convenience, use the principle (Minimum; 100%; Maximum). For example: Learn new English words (minimum - 3 words; 100% - 5 words; maximum - 10 words); Over time, the bar and the number of your daily goals will increase.

Action number 2. Do a "feat" every day

A feat is an action that goes beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone. And confidence is outside the comfort zone. For example, an early morning jog, dousing with cold water, overworking at work, etc. are all examples of mini-feats. Performing daily feats, you train your nervous system to overcome fear and discomfort. Your strength is increased.

Action number 3. Speak louder than usual

Our voice is responsible for the level of personal strength and energy. Listen to confident people speak, their voices are loud and clear. Gradually, you will feel how your self-confidence will “tighten up” behind a louder voice.

Action number 4. Superhero Mode

All "superheroes" are very confident people. Their confidence helps other people get out of trouble. Feeling like a “superhero” fills a person with strength and confidence. Every day, notice people who need help and help them. Help can be completely different, from financial to a kind word of support. By doing good deeds and helping people, you increase your self-esteem and self-respect.

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Action number 5. Accumulate resources

Resources include finances, physical strength, positive emotions, contacts with people, knowledge and skills, experience, etc. With enough resources, you will literally feel "strong ground" under your feet. Resources serve as the basis for a sense of inner security and confidence. The more of these resources, the greater your confidence that you will cope with any life situation. published

 

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