Which helps people in. Help people. So, it turns out that it is impossible to help people

Being helpful to others is the simplest and best solution. It will turn any situation into a positive one. So when you feel lost, frustrated, or unproductive, do something for others. In this way, you will not only help others, but also yourself.

Getting angry and lashing out at others will not benefit anyone. Being helpful is much easier than it looks. There are many ways to help others in some way. Here are three of them.

Share knowledge

Pass on what you know. It's never too early to learn. There is always someone who will need your advice or life hacks.

Solve a small problem

Help someone deal with difficulties. Even if it is not a global problem, but something small. Maybe your colleagues need help? Think about the difficulties they have. If your knowledge and experience can solve them in 15-30 minutes, do it. Don't expect rewards or reciprocal favors. Just genuinely help the other person.

Of course, this is hard to decide. Some people, having received help once, wait for it all the time. But it’s better to immediately find out who from your environment behaves this way, and.

Do something even if it's not your responsibility

It is always a pleasure to work with people who can handle any situation. It's just important to keep a balance. Do not be afraid to perform tasks outside of your duties, but do not dig into the little things. Most importantly, don't be the one who identified the problem but didn't even try to solve it, because that's not his job.

It's one thing to just do what's assigned, and another thing to make an effort to be helpful. This is a highly underrated skill.

People who want to be helpful ask the right questions, not just wait for an answer. They create something of value for others.

This does not require specific . If you can't help with something highly specialized, bring your colleagues coffee and donuts. They will surely rejoice. If you work in an office, clean your office, water the flowers, or hang a picture. Even small things like this are helpful to others.

Think about what you can do to help. Let it be at least a little help if you have a lot of things to do. But you will sleep peacefully, knowing that the day was not in vain.

Today we will talk about how to help people. Many, having seen the topic of our article, raise their eyebrows in surprise, because everyone seems to have long known how to help a person - just do what he asks. However, in reality, everything is much more complicated: sometimes helping your neighbor turns into unpredictable consequences. Someone, having done a good deed for a friend, is disappointed when a friend does not do the same for him in return.

Is it dangerous to help people?

Or a friend is suddenly seriously offended by the “assistant” for no reason. After all, it’s not just that such sayings as “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”, “good never goes unpunished” or “do not do good - you will not get evil” are born for a reason.

Therefore, today we will take a closer look at the issue of mutual assistance: in which cases it is worth helping, and in which it is not worth it, how exactly one should help, and what should not be done in any case.

What is the right way to borrow money?

Firstly, I want to convey to every reader that you need to help people only to the best of your ability and always disinterestedly. Let's say a friend asks you to borrow money, and you don't have much. Many people think that in this case it is worth giving money to a friend, because he asks! As they say, for the sake of a friend, I will tear my last shirt.

All this, of course, sounds strong and romantic, but is it worth giving to a friend what you really need right now? Can you give him your last and never ask for a similar service in return? After all, if you give your last money to a friend, you yourself will have nothing to eat, and perhaps you have a family that needs to be fed.

Therefore, when lending money, you should be guided by the principle - "give what you do not mind losing." Otherwise, in the end, you will suffer and toil, wait for a friend to be able to repay your debt, shrink and explain to your family why this is happening.

Perhaps your friend will also feel the tension coming from you, and even feel guilty! Every time he meets you, he will see in your eyes a silent question: “When will you give me the money?” And you can’t ask this question directly, because you don’t want to seem tactless.

Why do relationships deteriorate when borrowing money?

As a result, meetings will cease to bring pleasure to both of you, a distance will arise between you and the relationship may well come to naught, even if a friend eventually returns the debt to you. That is why often after borrowing money

If at the moment you cannot help a friend, then in order to maintain friendship, it is better to politely refuse, explain that you will not be able to do what you are asked, because it is too difficult or even impossible for you.

You can offer something else, such as a smaller amount of money or a smaller service that you can afford, but in no case should you sacrifice anything, because to do this is disinterested and even more so without expecting a refund in in the near future, not everyone will be able to.

Only selfless help

Therefore, if you are going to help a person, and even more so a friend, it’s right, then it’s better to give him less money, but not in debt, but free of charge - you should not wait until he returns this money. Or instead of doing some work for him completely, give advice on how he himself can do it easier and at less cost. Then you will not feel deprived, and your friend will not feel like a debtor.

For people there is nothing worse than a sense of duty and guilt. Therefore, it is better to do a friend a smaller service, but completely disinterested. After all, as people say - “If you want to lose a friend, lend him a lot of money”. By the way, this way you can really get rid of annoying friends. So keep this in mind the next time you lend money, it's either disinterested or there can be sad consequences.

Also, in no case should you impose your help on another person, even if you see that he is very mistaken. Imposing help and giving unsolicited advice is another way of destroying even the most solid and long-term friendship.

You can voice your opinion, say how you would do it yourself if you were your friend, but you should never stand over a person’s soul, saying: “You are wrong, you are doing everything wrong, come on, I will show you how to do it.” It will only annoy.

Allow your friends and loved ones to make mistakes, this will allow them to learn from their own experience. Let your friend do something wrong, but then he himself will understand what his mistake was, and will try to prevent it.

It is also worth considering that all people are different, everyone's life is individual, therefore, what will be a mistake for you can be a good chance for success for your friend. If you didn’t succeed, it’s not a fact that others won’t succeed either. Let your loved ones follow their own path and stop controlling their every step, no matter how dear they are to you.

"I told you!"

And you certainly should not scold a friend if he did not follow your advice and because of this he made a mistake. You don’t need to tell him: “I told you, but you didn’t listen!” There is nothing more annoying than such words! After all, a person is already so bad because he failed, and instead of supporting you, you trample him into the mud even more.

Would you like someone to behave the same towards you? Therefore, if you want to provide real help to a person close to you, forget the phrase “I told you so” once and for all.

It is worth mentioning separately that your advice can easily turn out to be wrong. Imagine the situation: you persuaded a friend to follow your advice for a long time, he agreed and because of this made a huge mistake, destroyed some part of his life.

How will you feel after this? After all, a friend will most likely tell you: “It's all your fault! If I didn’t listen to you, but did it my own way, everything would be fine!”

Therefore, never, I repeat, never impose your help or advice on anyone. Let the person do what he wants, take responsibility for the choice, otherwise it is possible that you will have to deal with the most unpleasant consequences of your “help”.

Should you help a friend without asking permission?

We also advise you to be very careful about helping your friend behind his back. Let's say you want to set a loved one on the right path, and for this you set up some events, collect "advice" among your environment, start discussing what to do to make him feel better ... This is always a double-edged sword.

If you are going to give a pleasant surprise, a gift that can fulfill your friend's dream, most likely he will be pleased. But with a surprise, you can easily not guess. Another example: you want to tailor events so that a friend achieves something. Perhaps he will like it, or maybe he will be offended by you, because he wanted to achieve everything solely on his own.

At the very least, before you do something behind your friend's back for his own good, try to carefully find out how he feels about it, and whether it is even worth starting such adventures.

How should people be helped?

So, let's sum up. How is it right to help people?
  1. Help people selflessly without asking for anything in return.. Never lend a helping hand. Imagine a situation in which the person you are about to help will definitely never help you back. Do you still want to help him? If yes, then your help is disinterested. If not, then it’s better not to help - perhaps this will only ruin your relationship. This is even written in the Bible, so helping with the expectation of something in return can be considered unreasonable, and even sinful deeds.
  2. Don't jump over your head. Help only to the best of your ability. In part, this refers to the first point - to disinterested help. Give to a friend what you are able to give disinterestedly and forever and never remember it for him.
  3. Help only when asked to.. As a last resort, you can simply express your opinion if you think that a friend is making a mistake. But remember: the final decision is still up to him. Each of us is responsible for our own life. You should not shift it onto other people's shoulders, and also you should not take it on yourself where you are not asked to do so.
  4. If a friend did not follow your advice and therefore made a mistake, never blame his. Don't be an executioner for him. Otherwise, your relationship may deteriorate greatly. After all, as one wise Swedish proverb says - "Love and support me when I least deserve it, because at this moment - this is what I desperately need."
  5. Be wary of helping someone behind their back. Try to find out in advance whether the person is able to accept help from you, if he did not ask for it. Remember: many people can be offended by any actions that concern them, but are not coordinated with them.

On this I prefer to end the article on how to properly help people. We hope that our materials will be useful to you and save you from many mistakes. Our self-development portal sincerely wishes you happiness and mutual understanding with family and friends! Stay with us and wait for new interesting articles! Find out with us about

I think every person sooner or later realizes that he experiences much more happiness when he helps others than when he does everything for himself. However, in most cases, such assistance consists mainly of financial support. Many companies donate millions to charity, people collect special funds and simply add up to buy some thing for those in need ...

But more often than not, ordinary people, like you and me, do not have extra money for financial assistance. I want to do something useful and useful for others, but I don't know how. I used to have these kinds of emotions all the time. And not only when I see when someone really needs help, but just like that. The soul always yearns for meaning. And the best meaning is to give people benefit/happiness/health/(fill in yourself).

And then a simple but profound thought came into my head. After all, we are able to help others without spending a single ruble. Often the result will be even better than if we just helped with money. In this post, I have collected 5 of the most possible options for how to help other people without having extra money.

1. Time

Regardless of our social status, the thickness of the wallet and the number of lovers (s), each person has 24 hours a day that he can spend as he pleases. Why not spend an hour or two a week helping others. Perhaps your friend is preparing to move? Ask to help him. Or is your wife/mother falling down at the stove? Replace it, because everyone can cook some simple dish. You can pick up a huge number of such examples: take a neighbor for groceries, help a brother / sister or child with homework, help a friend deal with a blockage of cases, and so on.

By the way, you can visit your grandfather or your grandmother. Usually such people need to talk to someone. So give them this gift. I'm sure you won't lose much time, but these people will feel needed. This is very valuable for them, and you will immediately feel the warmth of kindness within yourself.

2. Skills

Each of us, to one degree or another, has some useful skills. Someone writes well, another draws masterfully, the third is a free programmer, the fourth is able to organize, the fifth is a professional in the field of creativity. So put your skills to good use!

Maybe you could help your friend save a lot of money by drawing a flashy logo. Or they offered a great option for a program that would save a lot of time. There are also situations when your friend takes the first steps in an area in which you are quite well versed. So push it. Recommend some literature, point out mistakes and give good advice. It will not take much time, but it will be pleasant for you and it will be useful for him.

As a rule, such help does not exhaust at all, but, on the contrary, gives even more strength. No wonder you are an expert in this field. Moreover, such assistance can noticeably advance for you. After all, when you teach something else, you yourself begin to understand it much better.

3. Information

In our age, information is beginning to be valued much more than money. The one who owns the information owns everything. But, it happens that the necessary information can be difficult to find, and you are just the one who was once interested in this topic.

For example, my friend recently decided to improve his knowledge of the English language and asked me to help him. In just a few minutes, I sent him dozens of links with very useful programs, video tutorials and exercises. It seems to be nothing unusual, but he managed to save a lot of time and thanked me from the bottom of his heart.

You can share information in advance, as I and other bloggers do. For example, Neverlex, whose blog I have been reading for a long time, recently published a post about weekly planning. I myself use this technique to some extent (in conjunction with the daily one), so I really liked the comprehensive disclosure of the topic, I advise you to read it. After all, his methodology is based on the advice of Stephen R. Covey, whom I have great respect for and tremble.

But it is not necessary to create any resource to share really useful information with others. Use pre-made ones. I am sure that most authors will be happy to host your material. I once did this, though I used forums for these purposes. Great solution, by the way. Don't forget print media.

4. Praise

Praise (do not compare with flattery) can truly work wonders. Man constantly yearns to be praised for his own efforts. Even if it is some ordinary thing that has become familiar to everyone. I was a bit surprised when I found out how much many people crave the usual words of recognition.

I think you are familiar with situations when you did something once - everyone praised it. Did it a second time and didn't notice. Starting from the third time, they take it for granted and suddenly begin to splash out the negative when it stops. In fact, there are many such examples. I bet you can remember a few things.

Sincere praise in our time is a very rare thing. But that makes it even more valuable. I myself have witnessed a case where simple words changed people. For example, once at school, a classmate of mine was praised for his excellent knowledge of biology, although he only read a paragraph well for the first time. After that, he began to intensively comprehend the natural sciences and he really liked it. Although before he could not stand them.

You can praise your wife for how well she keeps the house cozy. Parents for a good upbringing. Friends, for some not bright achievements. This does not require any skills, and it will not take much time, but the result is really impressive.

5. Unnecessary things

During the last general cleaning of the room, I found a bunch of things that now I don't need at all. Some old books, a keyboard, a mouse, a lot of clean notebooks and notepads, clothes that have become small, and so on. You can, of course, throw it all away, but it would be better to give it to those who really need it.

The whole truth about personal power. How to become the master of your life Maslennikov Roman Mikhailovich

6. How to start making money by helping people become stronger

"You can achieve any of your goals if you help enough people achieve their goals."

Zig Ziglar

When you solve a problem, for example, losing weight for a long time, building a business, or how long I get rid of speech defects and stuttering, then, during this process, you gain some expertise in this topic and even develop an author's technique. This is confirmed by numerous methods of losing weight, building a business, learning languages, etc., etc.

Here an ordinary person lived for himself and never dreamed of writing books, conducting trainings, teaching someone something. He worked at a regular job, lived like everyone else, was no different from others. Only one thing did not give rest: the person had a certain problem with which he could not come to terms. It was difficult for him to accept himself for who he was.

In order not to go far and not give examples from different books, I will tell you a little about myself. I graduated from the institute, started working in a bank and, like all young guys, I wanted career growth and development. Everything was fine with me: a good education, a trustworthy appearance, etc. Many said that I was a smart, capable, promising young man.

But there was one problem - stuttering. What's more, I had a quiet and sluggish voice that was often mistaken for an "apologising" tone.

It seems to be a trifle, you might think ... “The main thing is that the person be good!” - says folk wisdom. “The main thing is that the specialist should be intelligent,” they say at work, etc. Yes, they say, but in fact: my defect prevented me from living by my rules.

I wanted to grow, develop and make a career. But, as you understand, a stuttering guy with a quiet voice will not be appointed the boss. More precisely, the probability is minimal. This will happen only if there is simply no one else to appoint! And now there is a lot of competition in companies, so in most cases communication skills can be decisive. Sometimes I could not even succinctly and quickly respond to the objection of the client or to the “collision” at the meeting. It was a pitiful sight, friends.

I'm not talking about relationships with the opposite sex. There were problems with this too. Naturally, I had minimal chances to interest a beautiful girl, although I have always been able to write very romantic SMS.

In general, I will not list you all the “pains” that my problem brought me, because I think that you yourself can guess how it happens. Probably, you also have some kind of problem that prevents you from starting to live to the fullest, which is why you are reading this book.

I rejected the advice of various specialists and psychologists that you need to accept yourself the way I am. More precisely, at first he sincerely tried to accept, but when he realized that this was complete crap and self-indulgence, he sent everyone to hell and decided to take responsibility for what was happening to me.

And that's when I started solving my problem on my own.

I won't brag to you about how many books I've read, how many trainings I've attended, how many training programs I'm still in, how many experts I've talked to and received personal training from. Many times I gave up, cried and freaked out, broke furniture, as my attempts did not bring the desired results. The path was long and painful, as I was constantly alone. Only occasionally did I have teachers.

But still, I solved my problem, and the realization came quite by accident.

When one day I came to my senses, I realized that I was conducting voice training. "How can this be?" - you ask. Very simple.

When my voice changed, more precisely, it became my real and natural, when the speech defects left, some friends and acquaintances who had not seen me for a long time and remembered me as “defective” began to be surprised at my transformation. They said that thanks to the changes in my voice, I generally began to be perceived differently, not at all like before. They asked and were interested in how to do this, asked to show the exercises and practices. Of course, without hesitation, I showed them, gave them what I knew myself.

Those who followed my recommendations began to notice changes. They liked it very much. Soon their friends began to contact me. I gave them the same exercises, and they again got the result. Then strangers started contacting me.

And somehow one day I realized that every evening I conduct trainings, and even on weekends. People liked them, but most importantly, they felt the result. At that moment, I realized that somehow I already solved my problem, since people come to me to learn how to develop their voice. I guess my voice still sounds quite good, since they turn to me again and again. If it were not so, they would not come to study for money. Moreover, surprisingly, at that time I did not give any advertising, and the worst thing was that I did not have any diplomas and certificates stating that I was a specialist and I could train people. They didn’t even ask me about it, they just asked for help ...

Yes, sometimes there were problems with some participants. But, I solved them simply: if you don’t like my approach and methods - look for other specialists! When I was asked to “surprise” with something, provoking asking: “How is your technique different from others?” - I also sent, saying that I'm not a clown, to surprise, look for differences, etc.

Then I was a beginner, I didn’t know much, but ... This is a completely different story.

Why am I leading all this? Naturally, there are many such stories, but this is my personal story. Perhaps you have already started your journey and feel that you are in a similar situation.

When you truly and honestly solve your problem, people will come to you and ask you to help solve their burning issues, such as: losing weight, starting a business, how to get married, learning foreign languages, teaching speed reading, etc.

People who turn to you for help will gladly pay you money, as there is nothing wrong with that. You give them new qualities, new results, new opportunities and, of course, new life. It costs a lot! This is important and valuable work!

There was one man who was fat and sick, and you made him healthy. Another did not have a business, and you taught him how to organize it, and now he is doing what he loves. For example, a person did not know the language, as a result of which he was not sent on important business trips and for serious negotiations, but thanks to the acquired knowledge, they began to send him to important events, as a result of which he rapidly climbed the career ladder. Previously, the guy did not know how to get acquainted with girls, but now this is not a problem. Someone sold poorly and earned little, but now he is good at it. The whole family is glad that their loved one has experienced some personal growth and change.

I will never forget how I saved one adult from stuttering in 1 month. Years have passed, and he still calls me, thanks and congratulates me on all the holidays. Although at that time he paid me very serious money.

Do you understand what I mean?

Solve your problems! Don't put them off! Don't be afraid of them! Take it and decide! Let it take years, but these years will still someday pass! During this time, you may or may not become an expert at solving your kind of problems.

I could have remained a stuttering bank manager with a weak, languid apologetic voice. Naturally, nothing bad would happen, because there are even worse problems: people lose their lives, become disabled, etc. But in any case, the choice is yours!

Do you think I did the right thing then? Or was it necessary to accept myself the way I was, as psychologists advised me?

Even now it is not always easy for me to accept myself, although I have become much easier than when I was a pitiful weakling. To accept yourself as such is self-deception and weakness of the spirit.

How will you act? Answer this question right now?! Not for me, but for yourself! And, quite possibly, this will change your life, you will become a leader and guide for other people.

Then I chose unconsciously, I just acted as best I could, as it turned out. If I knew what I know now, I would act more confidently and decisively! I never planned to become a coach, guide, leader, author of books, etc. But, you can plan everything and move towards this not like me, but correctly and consciously.

I really like my work, I get high from what I do. I really like helping people and solving their problems. I am not indifferent to their gratitude and kind words.

Being a coach and helping people get better is really cool. You communicate with new personalities, inspire them. You get a lot of useful connections and acquaintances, and, therefore, you always need to look good, speak correctly, be literate and keep yourself in good shape. This is a very interesting job, because you need to constantly develop.

Trainings are often attended by people who are quite successful in their field, as a result of which you need to be head and shoulders above them, otherwise you will be pelted with tomatoes. You simply have no choice, you must always be in development. Self-development for me is now not just a hobby, but a way of life. And over time you fall in love with it! You begin to give more and more of what you know and can do. And the moment you give, something new and more perfect comes to you. So, you get into a certain stream! It's an indescribable feeling! I want you to experience it.

I don’t remember exactly where it is written, but those of you who read various smart psychological books know that every person has a need to teach and transfer knowledge and experience. It's just that someone recognizes and develops this need, while someone does not recognize it, considers it nonsense, but, at the same time, does not hesitate to give advice and teach the right life from time to time.

So, I urge you to take responsibility for yourself, solve your problems and start helping other people solve the same “pains” that once weighed on you.

As you already understood, these “problem solvers” are called differently: trainers, coaches, teachers, teachers, masters, psychologists, psychotherapists, guides, gurus, etc. The name does not matter. The main thing is the essence. I'm sure you understand me.

Let's now move from motivational speeches to cynical calculations.

So, you can start earning by teaching others. Moreover, not just teaching, but giving results and changing the lives of other people. Zig Ziglar said: “You can achieve your goals when you help enough other people achieve their goals.”

I am doing the same now. By helping you achieve your goals, I achieve mine. Everything is very simple. The same thing happens in training: if you are a great seller and you teach other people to sell, they start to earn more. Accordingly, these people achieve their goals: they move in their careers, earn more, buy new apartments, cars, educate children in prestigious universities, etc. You make these people better, and they pay you money for it.

How much can you earn when you become a coach and start helping people solve their problems?

Let's get straight to the point, straight to the concrete numbers.

The laziest coach can earn from 100 thousand rubles a month.

If you are just starting out, then for some time, most likely the first months, your income will be much less. Perhaps they will not even exceed 50,000 rubles.

Of course, you need to take into account the specifics of the topic in which you work, the city in which you are located, personal qualities, abilities and much more. All this greatly affects the final results.

You can earn in group classes, or you can do it individually. And you can combine both.

The main thing is to lead the first group of people, give them a result, get the first money and enjoy the process! Everything! Next, you just need to continue.

Yes, not always the first experience is successful. Sometimes there are problems and difficulties, but… The more there are at the beginning, the faster you will grow. Remember this.

Is it a lot or a little?

When people ask me if it's hard for you to work, I answer: “I really love my topic, it changed my life. In principle, I would share this for free, I’m thrilled, for example, to talk about working with a voice, about vocals, sales and personal strength. I don't work, I make love. That's how I feel about it."

Yes, 100,000 rubles for some of you is not such a serious amount of money. But think about it, you are doing what you love, communicating with people and helping them. You do what used to be your hobby.

So, 100,000 rubles is not at all difficult. At the same time, such a lazy coach, as we said, needs to conduct only a couple of trainings a month for this. One training takes two days off. The rest of the time, in principle, he is free or preparing for the next training. Among other things, he can conduct personal consultations.

Yes, he needs to find organizers or organize everything himself. It is likely that you will need an assistant with whom you can share part of the profits. Further, when trainings are already organized constantly, they are on stream, everything is done automatically and does not require much effort.

You can also record your trainings and sell them as recordings. They will simply buy them from you automatically.

Let's say you are an average non-lazy coach who has been working and doing his job and his promotion for more than a year. In this case, you can earn more than 300 thousand rubles a month.

Naturally, each region may have its own characteristics. I am giving you the most realistic and pessimistic data so as not to give anyone too much hope.

Of course, if you conduct business in Moscow, then consider using Moscow tariffs.

In the capital, such activities are many times more profitable, since the audience there is more active and is always ready to attend trainings.

If you are already a fairly well-known coach, your earnings will vary from 1 million rubles per month or more. Such a coach has a schedule scheduled several months in advance. He has his own methodology, books, team of people, office, advertising budget, fans and admirers, permanent organizers in cities, etc.

There is also an upper caste of coaches - these are stars: mega popular and promoted. Everyone knows about them! And even those who never went to trainings. Such coaches earn at least 10 million rubles a month. These are media personalities such as: Radislav Gandapas, Pavel Rakov, Andrei Parabellum and many others. I am sure you have heard and know about these people.

Today, online learning, online trainings and courses are becoming more and more popular. This format of classes, when you can study without leaving their home. You can be anywhere in the world and get new knowledge! It should be noted that this expands opportunities for coaches as well. Thanks to online learning, you can be completely free in your movements, not tied to a particular city, without being in constant flights and transfers. You can conduct trainings and consultations remotely through a laptop and earn a lot of money while benefiting people.

If you feel and understand that this is yours, then be sure to study this topic in more detail and find an opportunity to take it seriously.

There are many good coaches and consultants who have turned their hobby of self-development into a decent income, into a free lifestyle, and enjoy life. They benefit people, earn money and feel their special uniqueness.

For example, I really like the story Radislav Gandapas. He was an ordinary teacher at the school, I think he taught Russian language and literature. He always took his work seriously, not in the way that, unfortunately, 80% of the people who “sit” in school classrooms do. I was very touched by Radislav's story about what his teacher taught him in his time: the task of a literature teacher is not only for children to read at school, but also for them to continue reading outside of this institution! Cool idea, what do you think? I really liked.

Further, as I know, Radislav was the organizer of various trainings, and once, when the coach was very late for the event, Radislav had to somehow entertain and distract the people who had gathered. It was then that he realized that he was good at it and he liked it. Thus, life put him in a situation where he could not help doing. He had to do something, he succeeded, and he decided to continue.

As you know, now Radislav is "number one" in the field of oratory and the most titled coach in the CIS. He is a bestselling author and a regular guest on TV and radio. Be sure to watch my interview with Radislav, it is on youtube.

The next example is one of my favorite business coaches - Andrey Parabellum.

It also has a very interesting history. Very briefly, literally, in a nutshell, I will tell it to you.

So, Andrew Parabellum for a long time I attended all kinds of trainings for personal growth, attended hundreds of them, and also bought trainings in the recording. The problem was that he went to training many times, but did nothing, nothing that he learned there. He didn't apply what he learned into his life.

Once, at the next training, he sat and listened to the coach's speech. This training was about the information business, they taught how to make money selling information products. A nondescript woman was sitting next to Andrei. It so happened that she was distracted and missed part of the performance. Later, during a break, she asked Parabellum to retell what and how to do. Andrei, without much enthusiasm, told her everything. The woman wrote down, thanked, and after that they didn’t even see each other for some time. A year later, he again came to the same training and met this woman there. And he didn't even recognize her. She threw herself at him with hugs and words of gratitude. As it turned out later, she thanked him for what he then told her. This helped her earn $300,000.

At that moment, he realized: stop studying already, you need to start doing something. Even if this ordinary woman has done and earned, then what is stopping him? Of course, he not only began to act, but also continued to learn. As you know, Andrey Parabellum is now "number one" in the info business.

And one more example, which will surely shut up even the toughest skeptics.

Did you know Nika Vujicic? If not, go online right now and have a look.

Yes, yes, this is the guy with no arms and no legs who collects stadiums of people. They come to see it and get motivated.

Many of us constantly complain that something is missing, that something is stopping them. Look at Nick and try to keep complaining now. If you are not a complete cretin, then you will not succeed!

Personally, one thing struck me in his biography: how much he was hurt by how others perceived him. He was born without arms, without legs and was a laughing stock.

Once he could not stand it and even wanted to drown himself, but ... he could not.

He says that his parents loved and accepted him for who he is. They were not ashamed of him, and this greatly helped him to live. This is probably why he has succeeded as a motivational speaker, author of a book, and just as a person. When you look at him, you understand that he is without arms and without legs, much happier than people who are not deprived of anything.

Be sure to watch the video with him, his personal story and performances.

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Should people be helped? I am sure, at least once in your life, many of you have asked this question, and for good reason. After all, on the one hand, deep inside ourselves, we feel the need to help someone with something when we have such an opportunity, and on the other hand, our life experience often shows us that helping other people is not only unprofitable, but even dangerous in some cases. And although we do not always realize how beneficial or disadvantageous it is for us to actually help someone in a given situation, we are nevertheless afraid to do this, because we know that many people tend to abuse someone else's help and trust . There are those among us who do not understand at all - why help someone when you can and should take care only of yourself, including at the expense of other people. Helping people seems to be a very stupid thing, especially since it is also ungrateful in most cases. That's why some of us never help anyone. But the fact is that the tendency to help other people is inherent in us by nature. And it is laid in us in order to make our species more tenacious. Without each other's help, we would all have died out long ago. In this article, dear readers, I will tell you why you need to help other people, in what situations you need to do it, and most importantly, how you need to help people in order to really help, and not harm them and yourself.

Pay attention, no matter how selfish many people are - even they sometimes help someone with something, albeit in small ways, but they help. And even despite those situations when people are deliberately set against each other, when they indulge their egoism and even bring it up in them, people still help each other, even the most insignificant. True, there are people who never help anyone, in any case, we do not notice this in them. But such people are few, they are still more of an exception. At the same time, our desire to help other people does not contradict our egoism, because by helping others we can help ourselves at the same time, but often we do not realize this. Man is a social being, he cannot live without other people. We are all dependent on the people around us in one way or another. And since we depend on each other, it means that we need each other, and since we need each other, we must help each other, we must take care of each other. Actually, people have always done it, but we all have different opportunities. Someone cares about his family, and someone about the whole country and even about all of humanity. But there are those among us who are not even able to take care of themselves. Thus, we see that people are interested in helping each other. But at the same time, many of us still doubt the need to help other people. Let's find out why.

In one famous cartoon [Cheburashka] there is a song with the following words: “He who helps people wastes time in vain. You can’t become famous for good deeds ... ”And you know what, dear friends, some people are firmly convinced of the truth of these words. They adhere to just such a position in life - they do not want to help anyone. But is it really so? Are we wasting time when we help someone, and don't our good deeds lead us to anything good? Maybe the whole point is that we do not know what kind of help to other people should be and what things can really be called good? I think that's exactly the point.

Think about what would happen if, as a child, you were surrounded by people who were extremely hostile to you, ready to take advantage of your weakness and completely unwilling to help you. You probably wouldn't have survived. Although that means, probably - you definitely would not have survived. So we've all been helped once because we've survived and grown and learned something because we can now take care of ourselves. But even as adults, most of us are faced with the help of other people, we just do not always notice it. You will not say that all the people around you have never done anything good for you, never helped you in any way. Something, I am sure, they have done and are doing for you, even if not always and not entirely unselfishly, but in any case not for money. We quite often unconsciously help each other, not always correctly, not always disinterestedly, it’s just that self-interest is different and there is nothing wrong with it, but we need to live somehow, take care of ourselves somehow, it’s not always good to do good deeds for free, without any personal gain. But the main thing that we do is we help each other. And we need to notice this help in order to understand how important it is for us. Then a person’s tongue will not rise to say that helping people is an absolutely useless thing, on which we waste our time.

But, I repeat, you need to be able to help people. You see, what you consider help and a good deed in a given situation is not always perceived as help and a good deed by another person, by other people. Someone can and should be helped with advice, someone with a deed, and someone with a stick, if the person does not understand anything else. So help can be different. Therefore, before helping someone, you need to find out what kind of help this or that person needs. Take, for example, children - are they able to understand an adult who limits them in many ways, forces them to study and does not allow them to do whatever they want? It is quite obvious that the position of adults is not fully understood by children, and sometimes not at all, if adults communicate little with them and do not explain anything to them. Therefore, sometimes you have to resort to a belt and help children become normal people, able to take care of themselves, able to integrate into society and adapt in it, contrary to their wishes and even with their hatred of themselves. In other words, our help to children is not always perceived by them as help, and sometimes they are not only not grateful to us for it, but also hate us for our help to them. But this does not mean that we should not take care of our children, should not help them, right? And we must help them - correctly, and not in the way they want it.

Not only children can be ungrateful, but, as we all know, adults too. Many people, yes there are many, the vast majority of people, do not like it when, say, they are told the truth, the very truth that, on the one hand, is able to help them, and on the other, is ignored by them for various reasons. This often happens in life. I am telling you this as a psychologist. Some people turn to psychologists for help and when he finds the cause of their problem, they refuse this help. People do not want to be treated, they do not want to accept help, they do not want to know the truth about their problem - they run away from it because they are afraid of it. Of course, all these fears can be overcome, and professionals bypass them. But sometimes, you just don’t know how ready a person is for what you tell him. And sometimes, unfortunately, your desire to help a person in the simplest and most obvious way only harms working with him, because he is not only not ready, but also does not want to be helped. But, does it follow from this that it is not necessary to help people? Of course not. Especially if this is your professional duty. One must do one's work conscientiously so as not to sow the seeds of chaos and distrust around oneself, from which most of our troubles grow. It's just that many people are very weak - life has made them so, and they are not ready to accept this or that help. This must be taken into account - and help people correctly, taking into account their personal characteristics. For the right help, most people will definitely thank you, and when necessary, they themselves will help you, to the best of their ability. Therefore, the point is not that it is not necessary to help people, due to the fact that they do not always respond to kindness with kindness, but how exactly this should be done. But there is no doubt that this must be done. After all, the more united and friendly people will be, helping each other in difficult situations, the easier, more fun and better their life will be.

I also want to say that one should not expect gratitude from other people for their help - this is not a product that can and should be bargained for. We help each other in order to live well together, and not to ask each other for our good deeds. Are you going to present a bill to a person for telling him how to get to the library? Or maybe you will bill your children for everything you have done and are doing for them? Or do we need to start giving each other not free, but paid advice, regardless of their usefulness? We probably do not need all this, since such a life will not benefit any of us. Of course, some types of help deserve special thanks. For example, we cannot work for each other for free or give each other large amounts of money on parole, or cooperate with each other without any contracts, since our human nature, unfortunately, does not allow us to do this. Therefore, there are money, contracts, laws, rules, all kinds of obligations, and so on. But you know what, dear friends, no money and no laws, no matter how harsh they may be, will force a person to conscientiously fulfill his obligations to other people and thus help them. Therefore, the same money does not always stimulate people well enough, since people like to receive big money, but they do not want to work for them. If, for example, overpay workers, paying them undeservedly high wages, they will simply stop working, because they feel that, in popular terms, a freebie has gone. Therefore, high wages where they should not be - this is not helping people - this is evil.

And the same thing with violence - it also does not lead to good. You can force a person to do something for you, but this work will be of poor quality, and the person himself will hate you and will rebel against you at the first opportunity. Therefore, people should want to do good deeds for each other, even if not disinterestedly, when this is impossible, but from the heart. And such a desire can only be aroused in them with the help of proper education and upbringing, when each person begins to understand how his life depends on other people and how the life of the society in which he lives depends on him and his actions. In other words, it is necessary to explain cause-and-effect relationships to people in order to develop their systems thinking. And then, they will understand what the Buddha meant when he said that just as an individual element supports the system, so the system supports the individual element. And thanks to this understanding, most people will want to help each other, because they will see that it is beneficial for them to do so. After all, no matter how many people there are in this world, one by one they can all be overcome, subjugated, used. But when they are a mountain for each other, when they support each other and help each other, it is very difficult to cope with them, and sometimes it is completely impossible. Therefore, any power always - divides people and because of this rules over them. Without dividing people and pitting them against each other, the minority would never be able to subdue the majority.

We also need to understand that before we start helping other people, we need to learn how to help ourselves. It is clear that help can be different, someone is able to help in a big way, someone in small things, depending on their capabilities. We can all be of some help to each other. But still, in some cases, in order to help people correctly, you must first help yourself. A person must be morally mature to help other people. And before this maturation, he needs to take care mainly of himself and not take responsibility for other people. No wonder children are so selfish, their selfishness helps them take care of themselves, it helps them survive. Children cannot take care of anyone because they have not yet learned to take care of themselves. And help from them, if it can be, is very insignificant, because they themselves still need the help of adults. And adults, those who, as they say, are morally and intellectually mature, no longer have such a selfish approach to life, because they are able to take care not only of themselves, but also of other people, in particular, their own and even other people's children. . Selfishness, in its most ugly form, is inherent in weak people who do not know how to properly take care of themselves, so they row everything for themselves, because this form of behavior is necessary for them to survive. Only in our society, with its rules and laws, in order to help yourself it is more important to seem more like an altruist than an egoist. But for this, it is no longer necessary to rely on your instincts, but on your intellect. What many egoists do not know how to do, because of the immaturity of their minds. Egoists not only do not want, but also do not know how to help people, they do not know how to take care of anyone. Sometimes they are not even able to help themselves, they cannot take care of themselves. The same children, due to their underdevelopment, are not able to cope with many things on their own and cannot help themselves in many matters. How then can they help other people? Naturally, no way. This is how many conditionally adult people, in some cases, cannot help other people, because they have not learned to help themselves. Therefore, before you start doing good deeds and with their help improve both your own life and the lives of other people, you must first develop yourself in the right way, that is, first you need to help yourself. Otherwise, wanting to do what is best, you will only make things worse, both for yourself and for other people.

You and I, of course, try to stay away from such people, since no one is pleased when they try to use him or even take him for a fool, but at the same time we ourselves do such stupid things that look like help, but in reality are evil. For example, you cannot give money to some beggars, for whom begging is not a way of survival, but a business, and a very bad, dirty business, because of which, for example, babies suffer, who are used to pity people. And when we give money to those who do not need to give it, we do not help people, but create and spread evil. Another example, also very common, is the help of some parents to their children, when parents do everything for their children, thus preventing them from learning to take care of themselves. As a result, such children grow up - selfish, cynical, spoiled, dependent, unadapted to life people. As a result, a seemingly good deed leads to the opposite result. The best help to a person, in my opinion, is help with advice. Moreover, advice can be free, and the benefits from it are enormous.

Thus, helping people is not a meaningless activity that is not worth wasting time and effort on - it is a useful desire for all of us to make our lives better. When we help others, we often help ourselves. You just need to understand what kind of help to other people or a specific person in a given situation should be in order for it to be useful. People are different, situations are also different, so help cannot always be the same for everyone. Help must be competent, appropriate, timely and in demand, only then it will benefit everyone, both those we help and ourselves. Therefore, do not listen to those who say that helping people is a useless and stupid occupation. That which makes us stronger and helps us as a species to survive cannot be useless stupidity.

 

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