Quick scene for March 8

Every year, on the eve of the beloved holiday of March 8, the same question arises: how to congratulate women in such an unusual way, with humor, provocatively, so that everyone likes it, and at the same time, without wasting much time preparing festive events.

And so that the program does not drag on: they congratulated, handed over gifts, and - we ask you to the table ... And there, after a good snack - contests, fun, laughter!

What to think? What to surprise?

Don't break your head! We thought of everything for you: we offer 9 cool sketches for a corporate party on March 8! Suitable for a mini-performance at the workplace, and for a holiday organized on a grand scale.

All that remains is to choose good gifts, several competitions for a feast (or a buffet table), and that's it - International Women's Day, we can assume, was a success!

Scene #1

"Gift Lottery"
7 men participate in the performance, but the number of participants can be reduced.
Five men come out with a rose in their teeth, perform a small free dance to S. Mikhailov's song "Everything for You."
Then women are presented with flowers and tokens with a serial number according to the number of women.
Man 1: Dear women, gifts are waiting for everyone today! But we have 5 super prizes, and we are ready to give them to those who are lucky today!
Man 2: It's simple, my lucky hand will look for one number here, and whose will fall out - he takes the super prize!
Spins the drum, pulls out one number.
Man 1: Hooray! Come out, please, to us! We announce a super prize, here it is!
To the music, a man enters the hall, a large poster is attached to his chest, which says “I'm not working today! He does everything for me!”
To applause and laughter, a poster is handed to the woman whose number was pulled out by the presenter.
Man 2, pulls out the next number. A man comes out to the music, also with a poster that says “Ready to discuss it!”
Man 1 (handing poster to winning woman): Oh yes, he is ready to discuss anything with you! Up to discounts on tights in the store and a new secretary's manicure!
Man 1: To get the next number, we invite our incomparable, courageous and wonderful chef (name)! He has a lucky hand!
As soon as the number is pulled out, a man comes out, on him is a poster with the inscription "5 compliments from the chef!". The leader compliments the woman whose number has been pulled out of the drum.
Man 2: I'm getting the next number! Hooray, (name of the winning woman)! Come out please! For you, he will perform his famous song “Oops!” world star Britney Spears, whom we invited especially for this performance!
Three men come out, one of them plays Britney (brightly painted lips, a short puffy skirt over the trousers), the rest are dressed as backup dancers (for example, in tights). The group performs the song “Oops!” to the soundtrack, the funnier the better, for example, standing still, arms folded on their stomachs, looking at one point on the ceiling, and only opening their mouths wide.
Man 1: And, the last number in our holiday lottery!
The man diligently turns the drum, then, as if by accident, pours all the numbers on the floor, at this time all the other men take out crackers, blow them up and shout: “This prize is for you all! Our declaration of love! We just adore you!
To the music of the song that opened the holiday (S. Mikhailov “Everything for You”), pre-prepared gifts are handed to women, and everyone is invited to the table.

Scene #2

"Serious challenge"
Leading: Dear ladies! Let us briefly join you, feel what it's like to be a woman?! Our bravest volunteers, to amuse you, agreed to become women today to get into the most nightmarish female situations! Help them cope with this, dear ladies!
A dressed-up Man 1 comes out, shoes on his feet. He stumbles as if breaking a heel. She freezes, hands raised to her face in theatrical horror.
Leading: So, option 1: I'll go barefoot! What do you say?
The women shout "No!", Man 1 also shakes his head in the negative.
Leading: Option 2: call relatives and friends, let other Louboutins drag me! Will it go?
Women shout "No!" (or “Yes!”), but Man 1 shakes his head anyway.
Leading: Maybe go to that handsome stranger over there and ask for a ride?
Man 1 happily nods his head, runs up to any of the men, shakes his shoes in front of his nose, and, making eyes, says: “Save the lady, please!”
Leading: Fuuu ... We successfully coped with one task, let's move on!
Man 2, dressed as a lady, enters the hall to the music, a usually dressed man walks towards him.
Man 2: Dear, give me 5 thousand!
Man: But where are you doing all the money?! I just gave you yesterday!
Man 2 dulls his eyes sadly, Man looks menacingly at him.
Leading: We are looking for options for the correct answer: “Okay, don’t let it! But know that I spent all the money on charity!” - will it go?
The women shout "No!", Man 2 also shakes his head.
Leading: And like this: “Don't you want your wife to look beautiful ?! Nails, hair, eyebrows, eyelashes - all this beauty you know how much money it costs?!”
The women shout their answer, and Man 2 shakes his head.
Leading: The option is: “You! Me! Not! You love!"
Regardless of the women's prompting, Man 2 agrees with these options, shaking his head vigorously and groaning “Not in love! He doesn’t love!”, to which the Man, in fright, shouts: “Of course I love! Adore! Sorry! I agree to everything!” To the music, the men of the team join them to congratulate the women
Man 1:
We can't understand how you
So gentle
Know how to be strong
Stronger than us a hundred times!
Man 2:
On a wonderful spring day, we
Ready to give you
Flowers, compliments,
And do everything for you!
Man:
Please please,
May never be sad
And also an offender, and an extra-kilogram-naberushechka
Will not meet you!
Leading:
You are dear, dear,
You are the most beautiful
So let us today
Congratulate you!
To the music, men present gifts, after which women are invited to the table.

Mini Scene #3

Ouch! What will we give?
The participants in the scene are sitting at tables or simply standing in a group, expressing complete puzzlement.
Man 1 (running frantically back and forth, screaming): Colleagues! Colleagues! Well, what are we going to decide? Let's give gift suggestions!! What will we give our ladies?!
Everything: Candies!
Man 1: Banal!
Everything: Postcard!
Man 1: Absolutely sucks!
Everything: Diaries!
Man 1: It already was!
Everything: Shaving foam!
They look questioningly at the speaker, talk among themselves: “No, but what! They need it too!
Man 1: I won't even comment!
Everything: Shower gels!
Man 1: It was too!
Solemn music sounds (a march is possible), a man dressed in white clothes enters the hall, wings behind his back.
Angel Man: I am a beautiful angel who flew to you from heaven, because I see that without me things are going hard here! But your prayers have been heard, and here are your gifts for your lovely women!
The angel puts a basket in front of the men - in it are bouquets of flowers and gifts. Men shout “Hurrah!”, throw themselves into a dance for joy, then hand flowers, gifts to the ladies and invite them to the table.

Scene #4

Beauty and mind
Suitable for a team of 15 to 30 people.
Women are asked for a moment of attention, and are invited to the Beauty and Mind program.
The host introduces the “heroines of the holiday”: 2-3 men dressed as women, while the outfit can be quite conventional: a hat, an apron, a paper fan, large beads - the more ridiculous, the better.
1. Ivanova Daria Mikhailovna- Honored (profession of your choice).
2. Petrushkina Agrafena Muratovna- People's Artist of Cinema Lovers.
3. Listopadova Mirabella Izmailovna- Honored consultant on any issues.
The host tells that today, in honor of the holiday of March 8, these women will participate in the beauty and mind contest, and the one who becomes the winner may receive an early pension.
Competition program:
1. Leading offers assignments on the topic "Who Knows More".
For example, the topic "flowers", "cosmetic companies", "jewelry".
The task of the participants: name the words in random order related to this topic.
One point is awarded to the participant who gives the last word.
2. Leading offers tasks for review ability to think logically. Names several things. "Women" should name an item that is not on this list and explain why. The more serious the questions and the more ridiculous, out of place answers, the funnier it will be to watch.
Task examples:
Hair coloring with basma, Vella paint, henna. (Superfluous paint "Vella").
Vanilla crackers, breadcrumbs, crackers with raisins (excess - breadcrumbs).
Viscose, cotton, polyester (polyester is extra).
Eau de toilette, lotion, perfume (excess-lotion).
Basting, machine stitching, overlock (basting is superfluous).
In order for the competition to fully withstand the “out of logic” style, the host awards the victory and one point to the participant, who, in his opinion, is “the prettiest of all”.
3. Competition task on the topic "Cosmetic bag".
Leading“scatters” cosmetic items (nail polish, eye shadow, mascara, hygienic lipstick, bright lipstick, lip pencil, eyeliner, eye contour cream, nail polish remover, eyelash brush, cosmetic milk, foundation, powder box, facial tonic).
The facilitator assigns each participant a task, according to which she must choose the correct item “from the cosmetic bag”. Time is limited.
Suggested assignments:
wash off your makeup
tint lips for a business meeting,
hide your freckles
paint nails,
paint eyes,
remove nail polish
let your eyes down, etc.
The leader vividly comments on his actions and the actions of the participants.
For a correct answer, the participant receives a point.
4. The host offers non-standard situations to the participants. We need to find an original way out of them.
For example:
Let's say that you met an extraordinary man. It seems to you that he is "head over heels" in love with you and is about to make a marriage proposal. You come to your friend to tell her your joy. But then you see a photo of your lover on her desk. Your actions?
Before an important date for you, you visited a hairdresser. As a result of a terrible mistake, you dyed your hair green. What will you do?
You came to a business meeting-buffet in a knitted dress. You are talking with a partner and suddenly notice that one of the visitors - the guests caught on the button of your jacket on the thread of your dress. Moving away from you further and further, he dissolves your dress. What will you do in such a situation?
The winner according to the leading participant receives one point.
Based on the results, after counting the points, the presenter announces the winner of the competition. And gives the prize: the right to turn into a man again and congratulate the real heroes of the occasion on the holiday of March 8!
The “woman” transforms into a man, congratulates the female team with beautiful words, the losing participants remain women and are used “on errands” - they distribute gifts.
The host invites everyone to the festive table.

Scene #5

Vernissage
Suitable for a team of 10-15 people.
1. Men should ask their employees for their baby photos in advance. Put each one in a frame and hang it in the form of an exhibition.
2. At the appointed time, the men gather the women and invite everyone to the vernissage.
3. Slow music sounds, the audience should guess their colleagues in children's photos.
4. After guessing, the photo is handed to the women. There are numbers on the back of each photo.
5. Have a cool holiday lottery.
Examples of prizes for draws:
A room for a personal archive (photo album).
Without it, the photo desktop is empty. (Frame).
Disposable cosmetics (a set of napkins).
Necessary item for a mink coat (hanger).
Means for holding the figure in the right tone (spoon).
Love potion (spices).
Universal gel from the past (laundry soap).
Washcloth for husband (brush).
Incense (insect repellent).
Gloves 3D (rubber gloves).
It will be necessary to play all the numbers so that each woman receives her own gift..
In conclusion, the men give flowers and invite everyone to the table to celebrate the holiday.

Short Scene #6

flying ship
1. Women are invited to the room for congratulations to the tune from the cartoon "Flying Ship".
2. If this is not possible, then men change clothes in a secluded place and appear at the workplace already in the right form of cheerful Babok Yozhek: sundresses, scarves, brooms (brooms). In the hands of toy harmonicas.
3. A congratulatory song is performed to the soundtrack of the song Babok Yozhyek from the cartoon "Flying Ship".
Text
* * *
Stretch the fur, harmonica,
Oh play playful!
Congratulations to the women
And don't talk!
* * *
Walked along the forest side
The holiday ran after me!
Spit on his baldness
And sent to the devil!
* * *
I tell him: Pour it!
You are a holiday, not a villain,
Even though I don't believe
I'm into these superstitions!
* * *
Stretch the accordion fur,
Eh, play pretend!
Our women are beautiful
Even, do not persuade!
* * *
We have known them for many years
This is the beauty secret!
Everyone will always be twenty -
Even at eighty!
* * *
I was walking back home
The holiday is running after me!
What is the reason for this?
Is this hell?!
* * *
Stretch the accordion fur,
Oh, play, play!
We congratulate all women!
Persuade me to sit down at the table!
Men escort women to the festive table, make toasts, congratulate, give gifts.

Scene-congratulation No. 7

Self-assembly tablecloth
Men prepare a large gift box in advance and decorate it colorfully.
When women appear, each is given a flower.
The men take turns talking:
1. Congratulations, congratulations!
2. Tomorrow came quickly.
3. We have gathered you today
4. To congratulate you on March 8!
5. And our gift is in a box,
6. So you can guess
7. What was picked up for a long time,
8. What will we give!
9. He is undeniably very cute!
10. We will even give you a hint:
11. He will please you for sure!
12. Because it is ... a fairy tale?
13. No, they didn't guess!
14. This is a home decoration!
15. And today it will come in handy!
16. Is this the right ... bench?
17. Missed, well, it happens!
18. Where is your ingenuity?
19. To receive guests, respect
20. Will a miracle (fall silent) rolling pin come in handy?
21. By, even very by
23. You need it
24. Drink coffee, meet guests
25. Set a beautiful table
26. Treat your neighbor with tea
24. Super - we give you a tablecloth!
25.All together (or one congratulatory): after the presentation of gifts, we invite you to the festive table!
Give gifts and invite to the table.
The first toast to the festive mood, to the best hostesses, to the laid tables and to women's hands, which can even create a miracle!

Scene #8

Starfall
The men are talking to each other.
Man 1: Hello everyone, well, March 8 is “on the nose”. Our women need to chip in for gifts.
Man 2: Yes, what's there to throw off, let's read poetry to them, we'll sing different songs there. Creative gifts are the most desired and not expensive!
Man 3: Come on, let's buy flowers. All women love flowers! We'll give you a flower and that's enough. After all, they didn’t “bother” us with gifts. Again foam and socks!
Man 4: What guys are you all the same materialistic. After all, we are so lucky with the girls. And beauties and smart girls, and they bake pies, and they will always treat you, they will say a kind word, they will cheer you up. You look at any and immediately want to sing.
Man 1: Yes, yes I agree with (name Men 4). Our girls deserve to be given unusual gifts. But what is there to give?
Man 4: Let's think! Something beautiful and romantic!
Man 1: Maybe each with a movie ticket?
Man 3: And why each, let's bring them to the evening session. Very romantic too!
Man 2: Yeah, what will the wives say? I can't even imagine how I'll show up home after an evening of watching together!
Man 1: Yes, and husbands will not be too happy. Another "cap" is given!
Man 4: It is necessary that in the evening it was connected, and that everyone was delighted!
Man 1(thoughtfully): I'll give you a star!
Man 2: Exactly! Stars must be given! And cheap and beautiful and romantic!
Man 4(dreamily): Each of our girls is a star! Maybe even a constellation! Let's give them a night starfall! Each girl is comparable to a constellation!
Man 1: It's decided! Speak!
Man 4(clears throat): Our dear girls! You are like heavenly stars united into constellations for us! On the eve of International Women's Day on March 8, allow me to identify you with beautiful heavenly bodies and give each of us our modest gift, forming a starfall!
They call the names of the girls, the constellation consonant with their name.
Example:
Irina - Polar Star (laudatory description and compliments);
Anna - Andromeda (praise, compliments);
Mary - Ursa Major,
Ella - Chapel,
Bella - Betelgeuse and so on.
After the announcement of the entire list and the presentation of gifts, women are invited to the table.

Game mini-scene number 9

Long live women!
Suitable for a team of 15-20 people.
1. Men prepare balloons of various shapes in advance.
2. Invite women to the room where the congratulations will take place (or do it at the workplace).
3. The host announces that men are capable of anything for their female colleagues! And as proof, now, immediately, exact copies of the employees will be made!
4. Now the men will have to create female figures from the balls with the help of adhesive tape in a strictly defined time. The funnier and more ridiculous the “creations” are, the better.
5. Women count aloud in chorus, help with advice. Or turn on the music at the right time.
6. Once the time is up, the men take turns showing off their "masterpieces", telling the best about the woman whose "copy" is presented, and presenting the gift.
The host invites everyone to a table (or a small buffet). Where games and sweepstakes can be continued.

In conclusion, I would like to note that when preparing for the holiday, especially in small groups, attention should be paid to each woman, using humor, ingenuity, but in no case offending or insulting!

Try to joke, say congratulations with ease. Use skits, a pre-prepared program of table and outdoor games. Let small souvenirs be present in your congratulations.
The funnier the scenes, the more impression you will make on the female half of the team.

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Scenes for the holiday of March 8 at school: "Boys", "Teacher"

Scene on March 8 "Boys"

SERGEI. Ma-am! We congratulate the girls today. Did you iron my shirt?
MUM. Good morning son. Stroked.
SERGEI. Hey! Which one?
MUM. White.
SERGEI. White?
MUM. White, white.
SERGEI. What about me was white?
MUM. Of course it was. Bought last year. Don't you remember?
SERGEI. I do not remember…
MUM. You still dressed her for the New Year, remember?
SERGEI. New Year's Eve, I remember. And then I don't remember. Ah... Is she white?
MUM. Of course, I washed it. She was lying under your bed - she found her by force! Have you brushed your teeth?
SERGEI. Ah, so that's where she was! It was Barsik who dragged her there! (Throws a dirty shirt under the bed, puts on a clean one). Well, wait, now you'll get it from me! Barsik! Barsik! Kitty Kitty Kitty! Come here!.. Eating something in the kitchen again.

Fat Barsik enters.
Chews.
BARSIK. What?
SERGEI. Get out of here!!!
BARSIK.
SERGEI. A pig, not a cat ... Ma-am!
MUM. What, son? Have you brushed your teeth?
SERGEI. Yeah. And Barsik too.
MUM. Good girl! Did you wash your neck?
SERGEI. Shcha, I'll wash it! (Takes stick). Badger!!! Go here!
Fat Barsik enters.
Chews.
BARSIK. So what?
SERGEI. Cho-cho! .. Nothing!
BARSIK. Ah-ah-ah ... So I would have said right away. (Leaves).
The boy takes off his trousers from the chair - also dirty and full of holes.
SERGEI. Ma-am! Have you ironed your new trousers?
MUM. Stroked. And a jacket.
SERGEI. Do I have a jacket?
MUM. Of course have.
The guy tosses his pants under the bed and grabs his jacket with the sleeve torn off.
SERGEI. Well, then it will be a vest. (Pulls off second sleeve.)
MUM. What's cracking there?
SERGEI. I'm doing exercises, mom!
MUM. Ah, well done, well done!
SERGEI. Girls have today eighth of March (8 March), I prepared poems for them, now I will read it, do you hear? (Combing her hair).
MUM. I hear! Good verses!
SERGEI. What verses?
MUM. which you have prepared.
SERGEI. Ma, what are you doing there?
MUM. I'm making a pie, son. You will come to congratulate the girls not empty-handed.
SERGEI. Why a pie? I need flowers!
MUM. Flowers in the hallway. Money for lunch in the nightstand.
SERGEI. And the portfolio?
MUM. Right there, nearby. They call, open the door!
SERGEI. These are probably the guys from the class ...
Neat boys enter with flowers in their hands.
SERGEI. Ouch! Who do you want?
ANDREY. We need Sergei from 9 - "A".
SERGEI. I'm listening to.
ALL. Seryoga! Are you?
SERGEI. Well, yes, I am. What do you want?
DENIS. What, don't you know?
SERGEI. Wait, wait! I know!!! It seems that we rested with you in the summer ... Exactly - in the camp! ..
DENIS. What summer? We are your classmates. Andryukha, Denis and Ilya.
SERGEI. Very nice ... oh, that is ... Guys, is that you? Well, you've been fluffed up! Did not recognize…
ILYA. You look at yourself!
Sergei rushes to the mirror, sees himself - combed and neatly dressed and faints.
MUM. And here is the pie! Oh, Serezhenka, you are so smart - you won't be recognized! Did you forget the flowers?
ILYA. No, I didn't forget. Only I'm not Serezhenka, I'm Ilya. Serezhenka is lying around.
MUM. Serezhenka, I beg you, please don't wallow in the hallway in clean clothes. Hang on to school.
SERGEI. Mommy, I didn't recognize myself! What will happen now?
MUM. Nothing, nothing, nothing... You'll get used to it!

Scene on March 8 "TEACHER"

(Author - Eduard Ugrik)
The teacher enters the classroom and goes to her seat.
TEACHER. Hello!
ALL. Hello!!!
TEACHER. Excuse me, what class is this?
ALL. 9 - "A" !!!
TEACHER. 9 - "A"? Ah-ah-ah ... And what school?
ALL. Comprehensive school No. (such and such)!!!
TEACHER. Aha, there it is! And ... tell me, please, is this the same school located (at such and such an address)?
ALL. The one!!!
TEACHER. Yeah ... But what, in this building earlier ... well, there: yesterday or the day before yesterday ... there was no other school No. (such and such) by any chance?
ALL. Not!!!
TEACHER. Well, well, well, interesting. So what class is this?
ALL. 9 - "A" !!!
TEACHER. 9 - "A" ... Neither "B", nor "C", but simply - "A"?
ALL. Just "A"!!!

TEACHER. But this cannot be!
ALL. Why?
TEACHER. Because it's a completely different class.
SVETOCHKIN. What are you, the same one!
TEACHER. But what about the same one if I don't know anything?
SVETOCHKIN. What don't you know?
TEACHER. I don't know anything!
ALL. Not true!
TEACHER. Ah, isn't it? Well, let's check it out then! What did we learn in the last lesson? You!
PETRUSHKIN. In the last lesson, you explained to us the properties and characteristics of matter. It was very interesting...
TEACHER. Yep, got it! I remember well: at that time no one listened!
ALL. Not true!
TEACHER. Ah, isn't it? We check further. What was given at home? You!
PETRUSHKIN. At home, they were asked to read, understand and learn the paragraphs of the fifth, sixth and seventh chapters of the third chapter, which is called: “Antimatter.” I learned ...
TEACHER. Yes, this can not be! No one has ever taught homework here!
PETRUSHKIN. And I learned!
ALL. And I! And I!
TEACHER. I do not believe! And I don't believe in anything!
ALL. But why?
TEACHER. If only because I don't know anyone here!
SVETOCHKIN. Don't you recognize me? I am an excellent student, I always sit on the first desk ...
TEACHER. My God! Svetochkina, is that you? How did you get here?
SVETOCHKIN. I am studying here.
TEACHER. Listen to me, Svetochkina: this is a very dangerous place - everyone has been replaced here!
SVETOCHKIN. What are you, here are all the same.
TEACHER. Do you doubt? Or do you think I'm hallucinating? Then tell me the name of this student here.
SVETOCHKIN. Petrushkin.
TEACHER. Yeah, so it's not me, it's you who are mistaken! This student is not Petrushkin. I know Petrushkina personally!
SVETOCHKIN. And who is this?
TEACHER. The thing is, I don't know myself. But I see perfectly well: this is not Petrushkin!
SVETOCHKIN. Who?
TEACHER. This is Antipetrushkin!!! And you - Antisvetochkina !!! And you are all Anti-Children!!!
ALL. Why?
TEACHER. Because normal kids aren't like that!
ALL. Why?
TEACHER. Not all happen! First: they never listen in class! Second: they never teach homework! And thirdly: can normal children sit so calmly and look so neat? It's Anti-Children! And this is ANTIMIR!!!
PETRUSHKIN. Let me explain everything now. Please tell me what day is today?
TEACHER. If you think that I am that ... then you are deeply mistaken. I remember everything very well. Please: today March 8 one thousand nine hundred and ninety-eight!
PETRUSHKIN. Does this mean nothing to you?
TEACHER. What do you mean?.. Oh, yes, yes, I think I'm starting to understand something ... It's all about time!
SVETOCHKIN. Exactly!
TEACHER. So I knew!!! I got in another time!!! It is very possible - to another planet! What a phenomenon!!! What is the name of this planet? And what day and year is it?
PETRUSHKIN. This planet is called "Earth". And on this day every year on Earth it is customary to congratulate all women Happy March 8. You are a woman and we congratulate you! (Gives flowers.)
TEACHER. This is some kind of prank... I don't understand...
PETRUSHKIN. And on my own behalf, I want to add that you are our favorite teacher at school!!!
ALL. Yeees!!!

Today is part 1 - "The look of a woman."

This is a scene for a corporate party or other adult feast.

Dear schoolchildren, do not waste time: this is not for you, I will write another funny scene for you soon.

You can perform it in different ways - like a conversation between two friends over a cup of tea or on the phone. A married woman enthusiastically describes March 8 in a happy voice to her unmarried friend, who only nods, sighs sadly and occasionally inserts monosyllabic questions.

Here I present the option with the phone. It looks like a monologue of one actress. If you have a second one, then dividing the text into two is not difficult. Doing the opposite is a little more difficult, so I'm trying to make things easier for you.

Since you will be re-enacting my monologue before March 8, and it comes after it, I recommend a short introduction:

Dear ladies and gentlemen, now we will show a story about how you can spend March 8 in a separate matrimonial apartment. There is one holiday, one apartment, and two stories about the same day, and they are very polar. Listen, look and draw your own conclusions. May your March 8 be equally wonderful for both parties involved.

Funny scenes on March 8:

part 1, "The look of a woman."

Oh, yesterday was a fabulous day!

I open my eyes in the morning - there is a basket of flowers. Big? No, not very big, not theatrical... the basket is... well, like a big cup... But all the same - not a cup, after all, a basket!

And there is a note in it: “Darling, lie down, rest, don’t enter the kitchen, I’ll do everything myself!”

Who would refuse such a thing! I lie happy, thinking - what a fine fellow He is! And neither light nor dawn ran for flowers, and prepared breakfast for me! But the neighbor was not lucky - her husband did something there that even the Ministry of Emergency Situations was called!

What? And, no, I didn’t see it myself, my beloved told me later. But I personally heard the sound of a siren and the smell of smoke. I can’t even imagine what was so burning there that the smoke even penetrated into our bedroom!

In general, my husband did not let me into the kitchen - he said there was nothing for women to do in the kitchen on March 8. Therefore, we had breakfast right in bed - it's so romantic, you melt all over from the surging feelings!

What did he give? The gift was great! I always secretly assumed that his prudence and practicality were so, on the surface, out of modesty. But in fact, he is an unusually generous person, extraordinary! He gave me such a cute envelope with the inscription "Allow yourself everything!" - It has exactly what I want on it! And inside is a bank card of a VIP client, can you imagine! And again the inscription - "And even that!" I allowed it.

My husband said that I can take a walk for now, and he will put things in order at home. Another surprise awaits me tonight!

Well, I went for a walk! In this kind of weather? And what's wrong with the weather? Weather forecasters passed bad on March 8? Honey, the weather doesn't matter at all when you have a VIP card in your purse! And then - I walked around the shopping center, and not along the street. Do doctors recommend fresh air? Yes, I heard something about it. I also went out into the fresh air - to catch my breath after shopping and figure out how it happened that I had not yet spent all the money on the card, and the terminals suddenly stopped accepting it. Probably, the systems are buggy in stores from overload - do you know how many acquaintances I met there that day? So many people don't come to paid demonstrations!

In general, by the time I got home, it was already evening. Beloved is quiet, silent, looks with such eyes ... What kind? Well, how do you convey? The look is hazy and slightly distraught. Quite slightly. How is this why? From love, of course. And he managed to get bored - he didn’t see me for half a day.

Darling, let's not go to a restaurant. I want to be alone with you. I even cooked dinner myself!

And, really, you can imagine - stewed vegetables with meat, made dessert ... And everything smells so delicious! And again, in the bedroom on the bed, an impromptu table was laid. What does a real man mean? He said, I won’t let you into the kitchen on March 8, but he never let me in! The only thing, vegetable peelings and egg shells, for some reason, also stood in the bedroom. Probably, he twirled, fussed, accidentally brought it from the kitchen along with dinner.

What then? Well… how could I not thank him for such efforts? Moreover, he hinted in every possible way. Flowers - in the bedroom, breakfast and dinner - in bed. In the evening, he asked several times if my head hurt. I, of course, was very tired - is it a joke to spend five hours without getting out in fitting rooms? But he was so sad, how could I refuse?

In general, the day was - a fairy tale, and the night - just anriel in a new way! Well, that's a different song.

Be sure to immediately present and show the 2nd part from the next article - funny after that.

Your Evelina Shesternenko.

Ivanov: At school, I am the most exemplary boy, because they always set me up as an example: "Don't run like Ivanov, don't talk like Ivanov, don't act like Ivanov!"

Children's scenario for March 8 - scene number 2

Teacher: Marchenko, if I give you a kitten, and then two more kittens, and then three more kittens, how many will you have?

Marchenko: 8!

Teacher: Listen carefully! First a kitten, then two kittens, then three kittens! How?

Marchenko: 8!

Teacher: Let's do it differently! One candy plus two candies plus three candies! How?

Marchenko: 6!

Teacher: Finally! A kitten, plus two kittens, plus three kittens! How?

Marchenko: 8!

Teacher:…But why?! !

Marchenko: And I already have two kittens!

Holiday script for March 8 at school - scene number 3

Three teachers are talking.

Mathematician: What kind of children I got! I explain to them what tangent is - they do not understand. I explain a second time. Do not understand! For the third time, I already understood it myself, but everything does not reach them!

Historian: Yea, problem! I ask my class who took the Bastille - they don't confess!

Trudovik: Yes, nothing, they are children! Play and give. And if it breaks, I'll make a new one!

Scenario for March 8 - scene number 4

Vovochka in mathematics was given homework to make a problem. He asks his mother to check.

Vovochka: Vasya did 5 push-ups, and Dima did 7 push-ups.

Mother: Where is the question?

Vovochka: What question?

Mother: Well, in the task after the condition there should be a question.

Little Johnny(after a minute of thought): Vasya did 5 push-ups. Dot. Dima did 7 push-ups. Dot.

Mother: So, where is the question?

Little Johnny(annoyed): What more question do you need?

Mother: The question that should be at the end of the task. The question you would like answered.

Little Johnny(After another minute of thought): Got it! Vasya did 5 push-ups. Dima did 7 push-ups. So what?

Children's script for March 8 at school - scene number 5

Sveta(in biology class): I found five dead flies yesterday. Three males and two females.

Teacher: How did you determine their gender?

Sveta: Very simple! Three of them stuck to the beer, and two to the mirror!

Scenario for March 8 at school - scene number 6

Modern excuses for students at school:

Math teacher: Children, open your textbook to page 54.

Pupil: Oh, Marivanna, I forgot to charge my iPad yesterday!

Scenario for March 8 at school - scene number 7

Two teachers are talking.

1st teacher: Working at school has become simply impossible! The teacher is afraid of the principal. The director is afraid of the inspector. The inspector is afraid of the ministry. The minister is afraid of his parents. Parents are afraid of their children...

2nd teacher: Yeah ... And only children are not afraid of anyone!

An interesting scenario for March 8 - scene number 8

The teacher caught the student with the lighter.

Teacher: I'll wean you from smoking, Petrenko!

Petrenko: Semyon Semenych, honestly, I don't smoke!

Teacher: Then why do you need a lighter?

Petrenko: And I set fire to firecrackers and throw them into the chemistry room.

Teacher: Ah... Well, then I'm sorry!

International Women's Day on March 8 is a holiday that has been very popular in our country since Soviet times. Perhaps this is due to the fact that this day, despite the initial political overtones, remained out of politics, and perhaps because this is the first spring holiday. One way or another, everyone loves March 8th.

And they start in advance: in the office, at the workplace, it is there that the first congratulations or toasts to women are heard, and sometimes teams arrange real corporate holidays dedicated to this event. We want to offer scenario ideas for March 8, this wonderful spring holiday, with a small remark, in the women's team.

Idea number 1. Scenario March 8 in the women's team "Eight girls, one me .."

Perhaps some of you are familiar with this situation: the spring holiday is gaining momentum, men are running through the streets with armfuls of flowers to congratulate their employees, and you arrange a holiday for yourself with a cheerful chirping flock, pleasing the only man who adds a little masculine gallantry to your bachelorette party. Of course, our lovely women do not suffer much about this, and yet ...

The scenario offered to your attention on March 8 in the women's team "Eight Girls, One Me" was created exclusively for such a situation. Actually, such a clear division of women and men is not at all necessary. According to this scenario, you can hold a party in a more colorful company, but in this case there is only one male representative.

Italicized prompts for the facilitator, or, as in this case, Leading.

It is assumed that there is one male, for example, Peter Petrovich.

Presenter: My dear colleagues, comrades-in-arms and friends! It just so happened that on weekdays and on all our holidays you and I carry a heavy burden both for ourselves and for that guy. If it were not for the respected and beloved by all of us Petr Petrovich, one would feel like absolute Amazons. Of course, female society is pleasant and even useful: our communication enriches us not only with professional knowledge, but also with practical advice on household tasks, or on raising children ... and men, who, in essence, are also our children.

But, to be honest, the female company sometimes gradually spoils our family relationships, and even leads to a dead end. And we begin to cry into each other's vests, and complain, what kind of "all men are theirs ..." I didn't say that's what the series is called.

And today, however strange it may seem, I would like to talk not about us women, but about those who sometimes, oh, how they get in these walls. Today is our holiday, and we have the right to choose any topic for conversation, but Pyotr Petrovich will forgive us in honor of such a day ?!

So, the first competition with which we will open our festive evening:

The first contest "Man of my dreams"

Presenter: Dear ladies, our first contest invites you to draw a portrait of the man of your dreams. You will not need paints, the portrait will be verbal, but there will be additional conditions.

The story should include:

external features,

inner world

and... the stomach. Sorry, taste preferences.

The competition is being held: the contestants take turns talking about their ideal men. The smartest one wins.

Presenter: You see, my dear, we ourselves do not know what we want. Either our requirements are too high, or the logic is indeed feminine. And how can a man deal with all this, not to mention conform?

But since we are so smart, let's prove that our claims to the ideal are quite justified, and that it is not at all difficult to be an ideal man. Moreover, it is very useful not only for us personally, but also for him. After all, you and I know what is good and what is bad, men, with their straightforward thinking, cannot always see a bright goal behind the next turn of a winding path. So, given ... No, before announcing the condition of the problem, a small intermediate competition.

Competition "Beautiful Galatea" or "Body Exchange"

Presenter: Now we will have a Pygmalion competition - you, my dear beauties, receive an honorary, but temporary title of a man, knight, gentleman, macho, etc.

The facilitator can distribute the details of the men's toilet to the participants. The easiest way is to provide everyone with ties.

Our, or rather your hero, a creative personality. And like any creative person, she, that is, he, and if it’s for sure, then each of you has his own dream, ideal. And now you are blinding one. The competition for the title of the best Pygmalion is open. We only have one model, unfortunately. Therefore, everyone will have the right to one single blow on this piece of marble. Remember, as Michelangelo said: "I take a piece of marble and cut off all that is superfluous." We will have everything exactly the opposite. For women, unlike sculptors, need a lot of superfluous things.

Well, now our Fair Lady is ready, now you, my dear knights, will have to win her heart. At the end of our evening, Galatea will definitely name the best.

A competition is being held

After Galatea is ready, competitions begin, which are evaluated by the newly-minted "woman" - Galatea (more precisely, our respected, transformed Petr Petrovich, if anyone has forgotten). And women who play the role of men become the main test subjects.

Quiz Woman from "A" to "Z"

Presenter: And we will start with the "trifles", important and not very important for any woman. Whoever gives the most correct answers in the quiz will win a prize.

(The presenter asks a question, each time giving a token to the participant who first gave the correct answer, the winner is the one who has the most tokens in the final of the quiz)

A - an incorporeal creature with wings or a very kind woman (Angel).

B is a girl's best friend, it's.. (Diamonds).

B - an elegant piece of fabric that can turn a woman into a beautiful stranger (Veil).

G - fur worthy to adorn the shoulders of a luxurious woman (Ermine).

D - the headdress of any princess (Diadem).

E is the name of the first woman (Eve).

Yo is a ballet in which no decent woman dares to appear (Yoperny).

W - a weakness that the strongest men cannot resist (Femininity).

З - an animal with which they compare an annoyed woman with something (Snake).

I - the style chosen by the woman (Image).

Y - a medicine that is in the home medicine cabinet of any woman (Iodine).

K - it makes a woman's walk attractive and irresistible (Heel).

L - how can a woman cure without medication? (Weasel).

M - the main purpose of a woman (motherhood, mother).

H - it protects delicate female fingers while sewing (Thimble).

Oh - it is his woman who creates, stores and protects (Family hearth).

P - the best ballerina of the theater (Prima).

P - a relationship in which a woman who is deeply in love enters (Novel).

C - one of the brightest and most desired events in the life of every girl (Wedding).

U - what does a woman provide to her man? (Cosiness).

F - food, perfect for love games (Fruit).

X - what is the name of the dish of frozen meat broth? (Aspic).

Ts - these are women who are ready to receive both on holidays and on weekdays (Flowers).

Ch - spice that prevents infections and kisses (Garlic).

Sh - she warms, and, having received her as a gift, the female soul is thrilled (Fur coat).

Shch - a traditional dish of Russian cuisine (Shi).

E - impressionable women do not know how to restrain ... (Emotions).

Yu - a very attractive purely feminine piece of clothing (Skirt).

I - as the 45-year-old birthday girl is jokingly called (Berry).

(The winner will receive a prize)

After this competition, the participants, as it were, speak on behalf of men. And with them you can consistently hold contests:

Poetry competition "Madrigal"

Competition "Romeo"

Then, according to the results of the competition, the "new-born “woman” - Galatea ”(Petr Petrovich) will solemnly announce the winner and encourage all participants. And it will be especially good if at that moment he will say a beautiful toast in honor of all the ladies present already on behalf of the man.

Idea number 2. Scenario March 8 in the women's team "Well, girls, little one!?"

The second option for holding a holiday in a women's company, perhaps, is “purely feminine”, in which the heroes of the occasion, on the contrary, will be happy to talk about their favorite topics: fashion, beauty, men and, most importantly, beautiful and unique themselves. And if, at the same time, there is a small number of men, then let them participate with pleasure or ... do not interfere.

- If there are men at the celebration, then the presenter can start the celebration like this:

Presenter: Good evening dear men (if they are on holiday), despite the fact that each of you is of special value, each exclusive is worth its weight in gold, today's holiday is dedicated not to you, but to beautiful and dangerous, weak and persistent, beautiful and sweet, mysterious and unpredictable ... women! Therefore, the topic of our conversations and competitions will be fashion, beauty, and our relationships with men.

- If there are no men, then so:

Presenter: Good evening dear ladies! It so happened that we celebrate this wonderful holiday with you in a wonderful company, and therefore I propose to spend it the way we want, chat on our favorite topics and have fun from the heart!

( First toast: I congratulate you on the coming of spring and the first spring holiday! Love to you, joy, vivid impressions and unfading youth!)

Game "Appeal to men"

Presenters: Dear friends, let's admit, no matter how hard we try not to talk about it, but, nevertheless, it's a little annoying to celebrate a holiday without men?! I propose to write a message to the male half of humanity right here and right now so that the Universe hears us and sends its representatives to our team. So, let's start with adjectives, what adjectives come to your mind first when you mention the word "man"?

(Ladies name adjectives, leading one by one enters them into the missing places of a pre-prepared template, then solemnly reads out what happened. It sounds pretty funny, because they are called, as a rule, either very flattering, or vice versa)

Approximate request template

"……….our men,……….friends,……..colleagues and……..defenders. Today on this…….day and……….holiday, we want to declare that we really need you! And we want you to be there every…… day and every…… night, surrounding us with your…… care,…….attention and……..love, give us…..flowers,……compliments and… …..gifts Know that only your……looks and……hugs make us truly happy…….men, we love you!

Your……friends"

(Second toast)

Comic musical game "Between us girls"

Quiz "Fabulous fashionistas"

Role-playing fairy tale "Let's have a little bit"

Musical game "My light, tell the mirror"

Idea number 3. Theme party scenario

The third option for holding a spring holiday in a women's team may be the idea of a theme party. In order not to feel discomfort about the fact that there are no male colleagues next to you on such a holiday, it is best to arrange a holiday that is in no way connected with a purely female theme and enjoy immersing yourself in another era or reality. Choose a theme: fairy tale, cinema, 19th century, hats, coffee, etc. and spend the entire evening in the style of the chosen plot - it will be both exciting, informative, and original.

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