I've always been waiting for you. “Someone is always waiting for you, you are always rushing somewhere, and we seem to be just in the shower”: three mothers about adult children. No matter how good a mother is, there is a line that the child will not let go. But children need to know that we are always on their side

Learned how mothers feel when their children become adults

Mothers, whose “little ones and relatives” have left to live in other cities, talk about how quickly their children matured

Anna, 46 years old:

Vova has always been "very my" son. I cannot say that I suppressed it, but I always controlled it. When he was little, they told me: "You press on him." He was always a rather soft child, pliant, and at one point he suddenly found it necessary not to be led. He started to say no. It started around 13 years old.

We did not have global problems, he did not commit unseemly acts, it was just that Vova became more mature in his reasoning, he had his own opinion and character. His growing up was reflected in the fact that he became less dependent on me. Previously, if he was approached, he looked at me before answering, thinking how his mother would react. And now he has become more independent.

If before that I was tough, then at that moment it went away. I realized that my usual upbringing methods would no longer fit and I needed to find a common language in a different way. I started to maneuver. Not he, but me. I twisted around him like a vine so that he could hear me. I realized that you can't push and tire, because this can ruin your relationship with your son.

It is still quite closed, and in many ways I can only speculate. My son lets me in portions and, unfortunately, these doors rarely open towards him.

No matter how good a mother is, there is a line that the child will not let go. But children should know that we are always on their side.

Now he is in Moscow, and I don't just miss him. Everything was lost: no one to cook for, no one to look after, no one to iron shirts. Until this moment, the word "depression" remained incomprehensible to me. Now I felt it myself: this devastation. The most important thing has gone from my life. He left.

But I understand that I gave birth to Vova not so that he would live for me. His life is there. Yes, I could convince him to stay in Kursk. And then he would reproach me for it. Why break a child's life for the sake of his maternal selfishness?

At some point he misses a lot, and I feel it. I guess I'm still a dear person for him.

Irina, 53 years old:

How does a mother feel when she realizes that her child is growing up? Bitterness. Because the children are no longer around. And more often they are somewhere, but not at home. Someone is always waiting for them, they are always rushing somewhere, and we seem to be just in the shower, children have no time for us.

You understand that there, with friends, is more important to them than here. Among the young, they are more interested and more pleasant - this is correct and normal. But attention is very important for parents so that they have the opportunity to sit down and talk. At the same time, I understand perfectly well that being in the company of adults is not very joyful. I went through it myself. I remember everything.

It seems to me that guys and men remain boys to a ripe old age. Girls grow up earlier. When Anya was leaving me, I told her: "Keep in mind that no matter what happens, only you will be responsible."

Last winter, I felt that she had matured: now she has different thoughts, a different sense of life and attitude towards herself. She became independent, more intelligent in situations and in her requests, learned to make decisions.

I said to myself: “I have a grown daughter and I should accept the situation as it is. Yes, she's only 19 years old, but she's grown. " Sometimes she is 15 again. It happens that a wave of emotions and rash desires will come, I have to explain something to her, say “no”, stop. Then the daughter cools: “You were right, mom. Everything was resolved by itself. "

Natalia, 39 years old:

After graduating from school, Dima entered the Institute of the Ministry of Internal Affairs. And I understand that if he lived here and studied at a civilian university, the story would be different. I would be worried about his business, but he would not even think if there is food in the refrigerator, and if he should pay for utilities... When children live in a family, they have everything "at the click": if you want something tasty - hold it, put on something beautiful - please. Therefore, at school he only thought that he had grown up: “I can decide for myself whether I have done my homework!”, “I know better when I am hungry!”. But it turned out differently with him.

In the second year, we came to visit him, and I saw the difference: he began to wash, sew, learned to cook and began to plan a budget. Grown up. Leaves the room and turns off the light!

The fact that children grow up must be accepted and supported. This is something to be proud of, not a correction. And my parents once said to me: “It’s not allowed”, “This is bad”, but I ignored the comments and did what I thought was necessary. Golden Rule: until you make your own mistakes, you will not believe and listen.

Mothers don't want to grow up quickly. It's easier for us when children are small and with the same little problems. Small child needs a mom, and when he grows up, mom already needs him. Now Dima's values \u200b\u200bhave changed, and he became more interested in me. It is done. I've been waiting for this.

We answered the most popular questions - check, maybe they answered yours too?

  • We are a cultural institution and we want to broadcast on the Kultura.RF portal. Where can we go?
  • How to propose an event in the "Afisha" portal?
  • Found an error in the publication on the portal. How to tell the editorial staff?

Subscribed to push notifications, but an offer appears every day

We use cookies on the portal to remember your visits. If the cookies are deleted, the subscription offer will pop up again. Open your browser settings and make sure that the “Delete cookies” item is not marked “Delete every time you exit the browser”.

I want to be the first to learn about new materials and projects of the portal "Culture.RF"

If you have an idea for broadcasting, but there is no technical opportunity to conduct it, we suggest filling out an electronic application form within the framework of the national project "Culture":. If the event is scheduled for the period from September 1 to December 31, 2019, the application can be submitted from March 16 to June 1, 2019 (inclusive). The selection of events that will receive support is carried out by an expert commission of the Ministry of Culture of the Russian Federation.

Our museum (institution) is not on the portal. How do I add it?

You can add an institution to the portal using the "Unified Information Space in the Sphere of Culture" system:. Join her and add your places and activities according to. After checking by the moderator, information about the institution will appear on the Kultura.RF portal.

I remind you:

Autumn weather that year
I stood in the yard for a long time
Winter was waiting, nature was waiting.
Snow fell only in January
On the third in the night.

A.S. Pushkin "Eugene Onegin", chapter 5.1

In addition, January 3 stroma is January 16 in a new way.
So don't cry, happy coming!

From baby.ru:
I remember my daughter would wake up (she slept separately in her bed) and got off and went for a walk around the apartment until I opened my eyes, she did not touch me. But the business did, horror: then she would pull out all the cereal and mix it up, once I found my lipstick, smeared everything that could be in the hut, only then I found out: it turns out in a tube, lipstick, sooo much, once to my husband (he was then a was) nakakala in her boots, it is still a mystery how she managed it, in general she hosted a lot while my mother was sleeping.

Sasha and only): You added Sasha and only).
Sasha and only): hey)))
Dark_Mirror: How did you know?
Sasha and only): what exactly?)
Dark_Mirror: You write "uh ... gay", how did you know?
Sasha and only): well, you and a bastard)))
Dark_Mirror: Balda - a kind of blacksmith's hammer, weighing 7-16 kg
Dark_Mirror: Looks like ????
Sasha and only): I see you are in the mood)
Dark_Mirror: I'm a gay hammer, I'm always in the mood)))

SHE: damn it, I was waiting for Olka after work. she promised to go to Panorama with me to see her purse. I saw it so white there, like Christina's, only smaller and a little darker, as if beige ...
HE: I switch to the brain protection mode from failures: 1. I disconnect the input audio channel ...

PLUSH: I always had a dream to buy a big dog, and so that she slept with me on the bed))) instead of my husband)))
Yenya: does your husband know?
PLUSH: guess ...
PLUSH: I sometimes hug him by the shaggy legs and so laaaasko say "Shaaaarik" ..)

"Spring, have the rooks arrived?"

All flesh screaming harmonies
Waited for spring, love to come
But there was no rook!
Yes, only there was no freak!

______________
e.MAe.2004 KEKS

Your face is bright, your soul is pure
You dance with a white seagull
But there is a special trait
You are not friends with your head!
______________
e.Mae.2002 KEKS

I was waiting for you then ...

I was waiting for you then
Those cruel days
Where is the blizzard behind you
Covers his tracks.
Where the fire doesn't burn
And our house is not warm
Where frost chills
And the soul is like in a prison.

You left without saying
Goodbye two words
Dipping my head
In the sea of \u200b\u200btroubles and hardships.
Yes, I know that you
Not wanting to
I went on a long journey;
Where to keep the victory
Someone above is given.

I was the only one waiting
And that way is not easy
What fate gave me
To tell the whole point,
A piece of a woman's share,
Got my way of life.
Know one thing, my dear-
You are not forgotten yet!

The secretary enters the chief's office in tears. He asks: - What's the matter with you, Lenochka? - I just visited the gynecologist, and he confirmed to me that I was pregnant. Judging by the date, this could have happened only when we went to the seminar, which means that I am pregnant with you. And since you are married, and I am married, and it is too late to have an abortion, I have only one way out - to commit suicide! The boss, with an air of deep sympathy, puts his hand on her shoulder and gently says: - Okay, Helen. I have always been sure that you can be relied on!

she (14/01/2009)
do you want to neigh?

i wake up today, I slept for 3 hours, I open my eyes, my mother pokes at the floor, I look, the phone is lying unassembled ..
well, I'm like her, someone called me and I turned it off .. she-well, you fucking turn off your phones. I crawled out of bed, I'm collecting the phone, I can't find a SIM card. restore what was.
in general, I sleep for about an hour only, then the phone rings, well, as always, even without looking, I turn it off. and I not just turned it off, but disassembled it into all possible parts in this case (it’s not clear why), and now I threw the SIM card (!) attention (!) on the floor, covered it with a pillow so that you could not hear how it vibrated! :-D 8-)

he (14/01/2009)
are you serious?!

 

It might be useful to read: