Awkward things. "carry-different-things" Awkward things story read

"... Do you love the theater as I love it, that is, with all the forces of your soul, with all the enthusiasm, with all the frenzy that an ardent youth is only capable of, greedy and passionate for impressions of the graceful? ..."
Vissarion Belinsky

If the actors in the theater are children, then there is more than enough enthusiasm, enthusiasm and fun over the edge. How can you not love such a theater?)) The play of the children from the Novomoskovsk boarding school, presented at the Spread Your Wings festival in Moscow, was called Awkward Miniature and consisted of several scenes. This is, for example, a miniature about "Our Cases"

"... Pupil:" Dad and mom. "Who? What? Parents. So, the genitive case.
Scolded whom, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. Hence, the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has an instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. This means that "Vova" has an accusative case here.
Well, and the “promise”, of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's all!..."))

This is the scene "Awkward Things"

"...- Hi!
- Hello!

What are you talking about?
- I carry different things.

Awkward? Why are they awkward?
- You yourself are absurd, as I can see. I carry different things. Various! Got it? Here, I'm bringing chalk ...

What failed?
- Leave me alone ..... "

Miniature- "Folder under the arm"

Boy: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder on the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother told me.
Girl: Ha ha ha! And it's really funny.
Boy (surprised): What's so funny? I have not even begun to tell.
Girl (laughing): The folder ... under the arm! Good idea. Yes, your folder won't fit under your arm, it's not a cat!
Boy: Why "my folder"? The folder is daddy. You have forgotten how to speak correctly from laughter, or what? ...

FUNNY SCENE FROM SCHOOL LIFE

Offered to your attention funny scenes will not require their performers to memorize large texts. The rehearsal will take a minimum of time, and the school holiday, thanks to the young artists, will become bright and unforgettable.

Musical scene"Healthy lifestyle"

(INoevodina N.P. )

Screenplay material represents musical miniaturekaraoke songs from popular cartoons.
The scene demonstrates the benefits of a healthy lifestyle and convinces that bad habits must be abandoned.


Equipment:

For changing the scenery, the screen is used: turning the screen in different directions, we create a new interior every time: disco, school, apartment, stadium; the artists, replacing each other, come out from behind the screen at every turn.


Props:
- sports wear;
- balls;
- tennis rocket;
- dumbbells;
- a pack of cigarettes;
- melodies of songs.


1st scene


Disco.

Music. Girl dances and sings to the music "Songs of the King" from the movie "The Bremen Town Musicians" (music by Gen. Gladkov).


Do children need much today?
They would dance until they drop
They would have songs until dawn
I don't care about health.


2nd scene


School.

The bell rings. Turn. 2 girls run out, followed by a familiar heroine. She is morose. Pulls out a cigarette, imitating smoking, begins to cough.
Girls sing to the tune "The Song of the Turtle" from the film "The Adventures of Buratino" (music by A. Rybnikov).


Dragged on a cigarette -
Don't hurt yourself.
After all, in ten years
You will not be young.


The girl shrugs them off, continuing to “smoke”.

3rd scene


Apartment.

A sad melody sounds. The heroine comes home from school, holds her head with her hand. Mom touches her forehead, takes the diary, shakes her head. The diary is shown to the audience (album sheet folded in half). There are two and three in the diary. Mom puts her daughter on a chair.
Mom (sings to the tune of "The Duet of the King and the Princess" from the movie "The Bremen Town Musicians").


Oh you, my wretched daughter,
Only sports - excellent help for you.
An urgent need to see a doctor.

The daughter replies:


I want nothing!


4th scene


Stadium.

Girls in sportswear. One is holding a ball, the other is holding dumbbells, and the third is holding a racket. The girls are singing a song to the tune "The Second Song of the Robbers" from the movie "The Bremen Town Musicians".


We are not doing sports in vain,
And our reward for our labors is health.
We are waiting for you in the gym, friends.
The road to sports is the right road.

We don't want to live differently
We do not want to live differently.
We will be beautiful
We will be happy
We will be healthy with you!

A girl with dumbbells, doing exercises, sings to the tune of the song "Thirty-three cows" from the movie "Mary Poppins, goodbye!" (music by M. Dunaevsky).


At seven in the morning I get up exactly
Oh, how difficult it is!
Doing exercises quickly
I drink fresh milk.

A girl with a ball sings a song to the tune of "The First Song of the Robbers" from the movie "The Bremen Town Musicians", throwing the ball.

They say we are footballers
Only we have no one to fight with.
We would have such a rival,
Like Ronaldo and Zidane.


A girl with a tennis racket sings a song to the tune "Songs of the Lion and the Turtle" from the movie "How the Lion and the Turtle sang a song" (music by Gen. Gladkov), imitating a game of tennis.

I stand with a racket
I like to play tennis
One blow, two blow -
My opponent lost.

All together sing to the tune of the song "If there was no winter" from the movie "Holidays in Prostokvashino" (music by E. Krylatov). The heroine stands to the side, watching.

If there was no physical training
Daily at school
Wouldn't we have been cheerful
Avoid getting sick?

If there was no physical training
And in winter and summer,
We would have grown fat so -
Diet would not save.

The girl crumples a pack of cigarettes, throws it down. Comes up to the athletes, sings to the tune of "Song of the Water" from the m / f "Flying Ship" (music by M. Dunaevsky)

Eh, my life, a tin!
Get her into the swamp!
I live like a toadstool
And I have to play
And cross run,
In general, hunting is healthy!

Everyone joins hands. They sing the song "The Beautiful Far Away" from the film "Guest from the Future" (E. Krylatov - Yu. Entin).

Girl (our heroine):

I swear that I'll be cleaner and kinder
And in trouble I will never leave my friend.

Girl athlete:

Together.

Beautiful far away
Don't be cruel to me
Don't be cruel to me
Don't be cruel!
From pure source
To the beautiful far away
To the beautiful far away
I'm starting the journey.

Scene"Awkward things"

(A. Shibaev)

Characters: two boys

Hi!
- Hello!

What are you talking about?
- I carry different things.

- Awkward? Why are they awkward?
- You yourself are absurd, as I can see. I carry different things. Various! Got it? Here, carry chalk...

what failed?
- Leave me alone.

Why, you say: "I failed." That he failed?
- I'm carrying Mel !!! You have to listen. I'm bringing chalk to Mishka. Him it will be necessary...

Well, if he wife will get, so why are you carrying?
- What wife? Is it Mishka's wife ?! You're a joker. I said, "He will need to." It will be necessary, then.
- That's it...

And I also have good news for Mishka: there was that brandthat he has been looking for for a long time.
- Tamarka?

Yeah.
- And - nothing, pretty?

Beautiful! So green ...
- So how?

Green color.
- Wait, wait ... What is it: she has ... hair, or what, green?

Who has the hair?
- Yes, Tamarka.

What about ?!
- Well, you yourself said: "Tamarka was found ...".

That! Brand! Mark, do you understand? The one that Mishka has been looking for for a long time. Got it? So green ... There is an arch drawn.
- Yeah, still drawn Tamarka! On the stamp, it means that Tamarka is painted, right? I would say so!

Let go of you with your Tamarka, you stupid head! There the arch is drawn! Arch!!! Can't you even understand that? Goodbye, I have no time.
- Until. Look, do not lose your awkward things.

Come on ...
- Yes! Stop! Stop!

What else?
- Say hello for me.

Who?
- Known to whom: Tamarka, Mishka and Mishka's wife.

The subtleties of the Russian language

Russian is an incredible language. The same words can denote completely different things and express completely different emotions. What can we say about lexical turns, which can easily confuse a foreign citizen ...

Only in our country the word "yeah" is synonymous with the words "please", "thank you", "good afternoon", "nothing for that" and "sorry", and the word "come on" in most cases replaces "goodbye".

How to translate into other languages \u200b\u200bthat “very smart” is not always a compliment, “very smart” is a mockery, and “too smart” is a threat?

Why do we have a future tense, present and past, but still we can express by the present tense both the past ("I am walking down the street yesterday ...") and the future ("Tomorrow I am going to the cinema"), and by the past tense we can express order ("Quickly left here!")?

There are languages \u200b\u200bwhere double negation is permissible, there are - where it is not allowed; in terms of languages, double negation can express an assertion, but only in Russian a double assertion "well, yes, of course!" - expresses denial or doubt in the words of the speaker.

All foreigners studying Russian wonder why "nothing" can mean not only "nothing", but also "normal", "good", "excellent", as well as "everything is in order" and "not worth an apology."

In Russian, one and the same obscene expressions can both offend, and admire, and express all other shades of emotions.

The phrase “yes no, probably,” can enter the stupor of a person studying Russian, which simultaneously carries both an affirmation, and denial, and uncertainty, but nevertheless expresses an uncertain denial with a tinge of the possibility of a positive decision.

Try to explain clearly what is the difference between "drinking tea" and "drinking tea"; what is the difference between "here" and "here"; Why action in the past can be expressed with the words "earlier", "long ago", "just now", "recently", "the other day" and a dozen others, and why in certain situations can they be replaced with each other?

It is not easy for a foreigner to understand how a complete sentence of five verbs is composed without punctuation marks and conjunctions: "We decided to send to go buy a drink."

Or a play on words: "Have a wife - a bank director" and "have a wife of a bank director". One line, what's the difference !!!

How exactly to call the mood with the particle "would" when it expresses in different situations a condition, and a request, and a desire, and dreaminess, and necessity, and an assumption, and a proposal, and regret?

In Russian, sometimes the verb does not have any form, and this is due to the laws of euphony. For example: "win". He will win, you will win, I… will win? will I run? victory? Philologists suggest using the substitute constructions "I will win" or "I will be the winner". Since the first person singular is absent, the verb is insufficient.

Many people think that the Russian language is logical. And try to explain, for example, to a Frenchman why a glass is on the table, a fork is lying, and a bird is sitting on a tree ... Or shock him with a simple and understandable phrase - "My hands do not reach to see" ...

For example, there is a table in front of us. A glass and a fork are on the table. What are they doing? The glass is standing, but the fork is lying. If we stick a fork into the tabletop, the fork will stand. That is, there are vertical objects, and horizontal ones? Add a plate and a frying pan to the table. They seem to be horizontal, but they stand on the table.

Now put the plate in the skillet. There she lies, but she was on the table. Maybe the items are ready to use? No, the fork was ready when it was lying.

Now the cat is climbing on the table. She can stand, sit and lie down. If in terms of standing and lying, it somehow creeps into the "vertical-horizontal" logic, then sitting is a new property.

She sits on the pope. Now a bird has sat down on the table. She sits on the table, but sits on her feet, not on her bottom. Although it seems to be standing. But she cannot stand at all. But if we kill the poor bird and make a stuffed animal, it will stand on the table ...

It may seem that sitting is an attribute of the living, but the boot also sits on the leg, although it is not alive and does not have priests. So, go and understand what is worth, what is lying, and what is sitting.

And we are also surprised that foreigners consider our language difficult and compare it with Chinese.

A theory can be deduced: what is more vertical than horizontal is worth it; what is more horizontal than vertical - it lies. But this theory immediately breaks on the plate - it is more horizontal than vertical, but still standing. Although, if you turn it over, it will lie.

Another theory is immediately deduced on the fly: the plate stands because it has a base, it stands on the base. The theory is immediately smashed into rubbish on the frying pan - it has no foundation, but it still stands. Wonders.

Although if you put it in the sink, then there it will lie, while assuming a more vertical position than on the table. Hence the conclusion suggests itself that everything that is ready for use is worth it (at this point I want to say vulgarity).

But let's take one more object - an ordinary children's ball. It is neither horizontal nor vertical, yet it is completely ready to use. Who will say that there is a ball in the corner?

If the ball does not play the role of a doll and is not punished, then it still lies. And even if you transfer it to the table, then it will lie on the table (lo and behold!). Let's complicate the task - put the ball in the plate and the plate in the frying pan. Now we still have the ball (in the plate), the frying pan is still (on the table), the question is, what does the plate do?

If the Frenchman listened to the explanation to the end, then that's it - his world will never be the same again.

Plates and pans that can stand and lie appeared in it - the world came to life! It remains to add that the birds are sitting with us. On a branch, on a windowsill, and even on a sidewalk.

A Frenchman will draw in his imagination a titmouse sitting on a branch at the fifth point and swinging its legs in the air, or a homeless crow sitting with its legs outstretched and wings spread out at a metro station.

"Russians - you are crazy!" - the Frenchman will say and throw a textbook at you ...

With entertaining tasks in the Russian language. I still remember many funny poems and stories from it.

For example, such an exercise (verse "Mice walked on foot", author Vladimir Prikhodko):

How many sounds [w] are in the poem?

The mice walked on foot
On a narrow path
From the village of Peshki
To the village of Lozhki.
And in the village of Spoons
Their legs are tired.
Back to Pawns of the Mouse
Let's go on a cat.

If the cat is on the way
Why not give me a ride?

And they sang to the door,
And nuts snapped -
From the village of Spoons
To the village of Peshki.
Walk far away on foot
When you go back
And on a fluffy pussy
Both soft and pleasant.


It turns out that there is also a song for these verses, even with b aboutmore verses.
However, here (though the quality is not very good):

But as a child, I was especially struck by a joke story. Author A. Shibaev, "Awkward Things". It plays up the situation with homophones - the same sounding words or phrases, but different in meaning.
For example (from the link to the story): "In the village of Wolves, all the roofs are made of spruce ~ In the village, the wolves have eaten up all the roofs." Or from my childhood: "On the field, he mowed the grass while the fields were seething with nightingales ~ Napoleon mowed the grass while the Poles sang with nightingales."

I remember with what enthusiasm I reread this story, in the end I remembered it by heart. And now I remember almost everything. I will give it here.

Hi!

What are you talking about?

I carry different things.

Awkward? Why are they awkward?

You yourself are absurd, as I can see. I carry different things. Various! Got it? Here, I'm bringing chalk ...

What failed?

Leave me alone.

Why, you say: "I could not." That he failed?

I'm carrying chalk !!! You have to listen. I'm bringing chalk to Mishka. He will need ...

Well, if his wife gets him, so why are you talking?

What kind of wife? Is it Mishka's wife ?! You're a joker. I said, "He'll have to." It will be necessary, then.

That's it...

And I also have good news for Mishka: there was a brand that he has been looking for for a long time.

Tamarka?

And - nothing, pretty?

Beautiful! So green ...

So how?

Green color.

Wait, wait ... What is it: does she have ... hair, is it green?

Who has the hair?

Yes, Tamarka has something.

Well, you yourself said: "Tamarka was found ...".

That! Brand !. Mark, do you understand? The one that Mishka has been looking for for a long time. Got it? So green ... There is an arch drawn.

Aha, after all, Tamarka is drawn! On the stamp, it means that Tamarka is painted, right? I would say so!

Let go of you with your Tamarka, you stupid head! There the arch is drawn! Arch!!! Can't you even understand that? Goodbye, I have no time.

Until. Look, do not lose your awkward things.

Come on ...

Yes! Stop! Stop!

What else?

Say hello for me.

Known to whom: Tamarka, Mishka and Mishka's wife.

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Slide captions:

STILL USUAL

Awkward? Why are they awkward? I carry different things!

HERE, I CARRY CHALK! What failed?

His wife will get him! He will have to.

Say to him hello! Tamarka, Mishka and Mishka's wife! TO WHOM?

Preview:

She: Hello!

He: Hello!

She: What are you talking about?

He: I carry different things.

She: Awkward? Why are they awkward?

He: You yourself are awkward, as I can see. I carry different things. Various! Got it? Here, I'm bringing chalk.

She: What failed?

He: Leave me alone!

She: Why, you say "failed". That he failed?

He: I'm carrying Mel !!! You have to listen. I'm carrying chalk. Mishka. He will have to.

She: Well, if his wife gets him, why are you talking?

He: Wife? What kind of wife? Is that Mishka's wife? Oh, you joker! I said, "He'll have to." It will be necessary, then.

She: That's it!

He: And I also have good news for Mishka: they found the brand that he had been looking for for so long.

She: Tamarka?

He: Yeah.

She: And nothing? Pretty?

He: Beautiful. This is green.

She: Wait, wait ... Is that her, her hair is green or what?

He: Who has the hair?

She: Yes at Tamarka!

He: Which Tamarka?

She: Well, you yourself said: "Tamarka was found ..."

He: That! Brand! Mark, you know, that Mishka has been looking for for a long time. There the arch is drawn!

She: Aha! After all, Tamarka is drawn! Drawn, right? I would say so.

He: Let go of you with your Tamarka, you stupid head! The arch is drawn there! Arch! Can't you even understand this. I have no time!

She: Bye! Look, do not lose your awkward things.

He: Come on!

She: Yes! Stop, stop!

He: Well, what else?

She: Say hello.

He: To whom?

She: It is known to whom: Tamarka, Mishka and Mishka's wife!


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