Can a person always be happy? Why is it bad to be happy all the time? They live in the present

Is this possible? To be happy, to feel good and joyful if you have problems in your life?

First you need to understand the concept of a problem and what happiness is.

A problem is something that does not suit us, that exists, it would seem, objectively, but this is only at first glance.

In fact, the problem is our perception of an event, at the same time, our personal definition of this event as unpleasant. In other words, a problem is something that does not suit us and from which we, one way or another, suffer.

Where and when there are problems

Think about this. WHEN do we suffer from this problem?

Many will answer that always, because until we solve it, it exists, therefore, we suffer. And, therefore, we cannot be happy, since we constantly have one or many unresolved problems. It seems to be so.

Now let's talk about time.

For a person, time is his past, future, present. But if I ask you where are you? You can say – at home, at work, in the car.…

But I'm not asking you where you are, but WHERE!

If you are a bit confused, let me tell you - you are HERE!

Now the next question is WHEN are you HERE? The answer is NOW. You are HERE AND NOW.

Present. Always in the present. Whether you are thinking about the past or the future, you are doing it now.

Let's continue talking about problems. You think that you have a problem that makes you suffer. When and where does this problem exist? Think very carefully.

Now, as you read these lines, do you have this problem right now? Right now, when your attention is drawn to this text, are you suffering from it?

Or, do you feel sad and upset only when you remember her and pay attention to thoughts about her? I think the second option is correct.

Your problem only makes you uncomfortable when you think about it here and now.

Try to distract yourself from the problem by thinking about something pleasant, and you will immediately feel better. This confirms the fact that we suffer only when we directly think about our problem.

So, now we will not solve problems, but be distracted by something pleasant? Not!

But we will no longer suffer from our unresolved problems by long and tedious thinking about them.

Happiness can be permanent

And what is happiness?

Everyone can describe this concept in different ways, in their own way. But, I think everyone calls happiness the state of being in the highest degree pleasant is a mixture of joy and love, and appreciation of everything that is for what it is.

In general, happiness is what we all strive for. We want to live happily. But why don't we live? We have a lot of problems!

Yes, yes, there is not enough money, not enough, health is not so hot, and at work the boss just got it ... you don’t have enough strength for anything, you come home, and there the children at school have messed up and you have to go listen to the teachers’ complaints ... horror!

What happiness!

But tell me, do you really think that if you still solve all these problems that you have, then you will definitely become happy?

Or, perhaps, you will have new problems, and again the concept of happiness and its feeling will be pushed back indefinitely "until better times." What if "better times" don't come? The prospect is not encouraging.

So what to do?

Let's look at the concept of happiness from the other side.

Do you think it is possible to be happy all the time? And what is it all the time. Every day, every hour, every moment?

If everything that is, everything that happens, everything that exists - all this exists now, then the answer to the question "what does it mean constantly" will be: constantly - it's now only many times))).

It's that simple. Everything again comes down to just one moment - the present.

Speaking of happiness, I dare say that many of you have had moments when you were fabulously good. You enjoyed this moment. And then it ended, and you returned to thinking about problems, and maybe even sadness about that brief moment of happiness.

But sorry, who makes you think about problems?

Who makes you constantly (that is, over and over again in the now moment) think about something unpleasant, bad or sad? Why bring up problems at all if you're not directly looking for solutions right now?

Isn't it better to occupy your thoughts with something pleasant, because this lifts your mood, and everything in life begins to please you?

And if we have only the present moment, then we can be happy only now. And if we know that our thoughts that we think now lead us to good feelings, to joy, then it becomes clear that it is enough NOW to think about pleasant things.

That's the whole formula for happiness.

In order to be happy and feel positive emotions, it is necessary NOW, RIGHT NOW to think about pleasant things, gradually filling with joy and happiness.

How to take responsibility for your life and not fall into ...

Translation

Happiness, in one form or another, seems to be common goal which each of us would like to achieve. We often act as if we can find a way to complete satisfaction—comfort, satiety, warmth, some other reward—and be happy all the time just by doing something. right choices. But the pleasure of even the most pleasant sensations is fleeting, and this leads to boredom and a desire to try something new and amazing. As a neuroscientist, I can't help but think about whether the transience of our satisfaction is actually inevitable, or whether it is some kind of feature of the brain, understanding which, it will be possible to learn how to deal with it.

Many everyday functions of the brain seem so natural that we can hardly distance ourselves from them in order to look at them from the outside. The brain is busy noticing different things. Obviously, the main job of the brain is perception; on the basis of what he perceives, he can make assessments, and on the basis of them he can act. This work is performed by the neurons of the nervous system. They find and present inputs from the external (and internal) world, analyze the data, and respond to that analysis with appropriate action. Action is usually understood as movement: neurons send signals that cause muscles to contract, which allows you to perform some action. The input comes from the senses, the analysis is often called associative, and the output is motility. The trinity of feeling/associative analysis/motor is the neural counterpart of perception/evaluation/action.

How do the neurons that make up the brain cope with detecting and analyzing what is happening in the outside world? The simplest answer is that they primarily rely on a translation service. The parts of the body that we think of as sense organs - eyes, ears, nose, tongue, skin - contain receptor cells that receive information. On the membranes of these cells are tiny molecules of protein; they translate (technically speaking, transform) the physical influences of the external world - light, sound, chemicals, heat - into electrical signals, action potentials that form the language of the brain. Transmitting proteins form a small pathway, an ion channel, through which charged particles, ions such as sodium or potassium, enter or leave the cell. The movement of ions generates electrical signals. Each signal is propagated along the length of the cell by other proteins—also forming ion channels—resulting in the release of a chemical neurotransmitter. The next neuron receives the neurotransmitter through other receptor proteins that are also ion channels or associated with ion channels. Our ability to notice is largely dependent on our ion channel proteins.

Interestingly, virtually all of these proteins respond to changes in stimuli; but in the presence of prolonged and constant stimulation of mild to moderate intensity, many of them are turned off and do not allow ions to pass through them. We call this process adaptation (or desensitization or inactivation, depending on the physical basis). It leads to familiar sensations. Due to adaptation, when moving from a place with bright lighting to an unlit room, at first it seems dark, and after a while the lighting in it already seems to be normal. It's only when you step back into the sun that you realize how dark the room was - or how bright it is now. Similarly, most people adapt to the smell of food soon after they enter a restaurant, or to the coolness of a pool after jumping in on a hot day, or to the background noise of a refrigerator. After a short exposure, the smell, cold or noise - unless they are so strong as to cause discomfort - ceases to be felt, and we do not pay attention to them. That is, as they say, we get used to them. In particular, because of adaptive ion channels, we feel a lot not in absolute value, but in contrast to what was before (although not all types of adaptation occur due to ion channels, and not all feelings are subject to adaptation). In one exceptional case, the experimenters were able to demonstrate this phenomenon by stabilizing the image on the retina. Our eyes typically make small jerky movements, microsaccades, which allow retinal cells to compare light reflected from dark and bright areas of any visual environment. By tracking the movements of a person's eyes and changing the image projected onto them, neuroscientists have been able to show that when an image is artificially fixed on the retina, it seems to the person that it disappears. If you don't have the ability to compare, the world becomes gray. In other words, diversity doesn't just add flavor to life; you basically can see anything only through changes.

This sensitivity to change and insensitivity to constancy does not stop at the level of sensory receptors. Deeper in the brain, in almost all neurons, there are other ion channel proteins—notably sodium channels, which fire action potentials (by allowing sodium ions into the neuron) and potassium channels, which stop action potentials (by releasing potassium ions out of the neuron). Sodium and potassium channels are different, and many of them are also inactivated—turned off—during use. Therefore, even when chemical neurotransmitters deliver prolonged or repetitive stimuli to neurons, the inherent properties of ion channels limit the number of action potentials. For example, in some neurons, the inactivation of sodium channels makes it increasingly difficult to generate action potentials with constant stimulation.

But in some neurons, certain sodium channels prevent inactivation with a special protein that blocks it. Such neurons gladly fire long high-frequency sequences of action potentials. Many of these neurons are found in the cerebellum and brainstem.

Meanwhile, certain potassium channels gradually increase the flow of ions, helping to slow down or turn off signals from neurons after several action potentials have passed. The interaction between sodium and potassium ion currents allows electrical signals to be generated only at the beginning of a stimulus, a process called accommodation. While there are exceptions, most of the major excitatory cells in the cortex and hippocampus—the ones that encourage action potentials in target neurons—are susceptible to accommodation.

In some cells, accommodation can be reversed by neurotransmitters such as norepinephrine. Interestingly, the global effect of norepinephrine on the brain is to increase attention. Many toxins and poisons, such as those found in scorpions and snakes, prevent sodium channels from being inactivated and block potassium channels, leading to convulsions and death—that is, the brain can suffer from too much of the good.

It is not always clear to us what information the accommodating neurons carry, but we do know that they respond most strongly to a change in stimulus. It is hard to resist the temptation to conclude that the more activity in the brain, the better - but it is very good that some neurons have the ability to turn off their signals through the inactivation of ion channels. A lot of neurological diseases are associated with an excess of action potentials in neurons, which usually react very little. This "overexcitability" is often found in pain or epilepsy. With the first, there are too many feelings, with the second - muscle contractions. Often the best drugs for such cases are those that inactivate sodium channels. Even people without these syndromes are familiar with the analgesic effects of sodium channel blocking drugs like novocaine or lidocaine. Epilepsy drugs do not shut off neural activity altogether, but limit overactive neurons.

Similarly, neurotransmitter receptor proteins can experience desensitization, in which their ion channels shut down when exposed to prolonged stimuli. They can turn off due to desensitization, which is an intrinsic property of the protein, or due to short life the neurotransmitter itself, as it is destroyed by enzymes or absorbed into neighboring glial cells. Substances that affect these processes and prolong the action of neurotransmitters can radically change the functioning of the nervous system. Tranquilizers prolong the duration of the flow of ions through the channels opened by the neurotransmitter GABA. The nerve gas prolongs the action of acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter that causes muscles to contract.

But neurons have an interesting ability to respond to a long-term increase in neurotransmitter exposure - over periods of days or more, which can lead to an excessive amount of signals passing through a particular neural circuit - they simply absorb their own neurotransmitter receptors, and there are fewer working receptors on the cell surface. . This reaction may underlie the emergence of resistance to drugs, drugs and spicy foods.

The detection of spicy food does not occur in the brain's neurotransmitter receptors, but in peripheral chemical receptors that respond to capsaicin, the natural substance that gives pepper its spiciness. An interesting example addictive is a capsaicin-based ointment that desensitizes receptors and relieves pain from arthritis and neuropathy.

Conversely, when neurotransmitter production falls, a particular neuron may produce more receptor proteins and associated ion channels. In this way, overstimulation returns to normal perception, and understimulation sets up the neural circuit for increased sensitivity even to weak signals. How do cells know this? Through various feedback systems, many of which use the special biochemical properties of calcium ions, allowing the neuron to find, so to speak, a comfortable or suitable golden mean. Similar processes can be triggered when stimulation that is initially pleasant—or repulsive—is repeated over and over again. Acute perception subsides as the brain finds its checkpoint.

This process is called homeostasis, and much effort is being spent on studying the "homestatic plasticity" of neural circuits - neurons returning to their baseline checkpoint even with changes in the strength of the input stimulus.

At the level of the organism as a whole, the sensations of these stimuli change accordingly; decrease in the case of repeated stimuli, and then recover in the event of a change. A simple demonstration of this phenomenon is the experience with the marine mollusc Aplysia, which, in response to a light touch, first retracts its gills. After a series of harmless touches, he gets used to and stops responding, until the touch is combined with something unpleasant, such as an electric shock. When addictive, the receptors do not experience desensitization - instead, the neurotransmitter ends in the neurons.

In the case of more pleasurable sensations, hungry rats will work for food, be it regular or extra tasty, while satiated rats will only work for the treats they especially like. The motivation of rats to work for food can be reduced by using drugs that interfere with the natural opiate and dopamine receptors, neurotransmitters in neural circuits that signal rewards. It appears that reward circuits are stimulated by both anticipation and ingestion of food, but in satiated rats this only occurs if the food outperforms recent experience. In other words, there is no need to leave room for dessert; it will still be pleasant, as long as it tastes better than what came before it.

Familiar stimuli and the sensations they create can also induce other modifications of ion channels and neurotransmitter receptors that can change the entire neural circuitry. In fact, some brain circuits in many animals (including us) are so good at predicting the outcome of a well-known stimulus that they send back signals that balance the feeling of what is happening. The body does not even notice that something is happening - until something else or unexpected happens.

An interesting illustration of the brain's ability to ignore the known is provided by electric fish, whose electrical sense allows them to sense electric fields. They study the environment with the help of an electric organ discharge (REO) - a special “shout” that creates an electric field around the fish. In the presence of objects, this field is distorted - perhaps a bit like the distortion of the shape of the skin when touching an object. It is the deviation from the usual form that indicates that it is necessary to save or explore. The constant REO signals themselves are not something important. The neurons that create the REO also send a signal to the brain of the fish, indicating that they have worked. This signal is strictly opposite to the sensory signal received by the fish as a result of the sensation of its own undistorted field obtained as a result of REO, as a result of which it neutralizes the fish's sensation of its own "shout" when there is nothing nearby.

Being able to habituate and ignore incoming information that turns out to be static, familiar, predictable, and safe helps in terms of behavior. In other words, it has an evolutionary advantage. If we were constantly aware of the touch of clothes on our skin or the faint smell of fabric softener, it would be very distracting, to say the least, and could even prevent us from detecting and responding to a meaningful signal - a pat on the shoulder or the smell of burning toast. The inability to predict and adapt is possibly one of the contributing factors to the development of autism spectrum disorders.

In addition, signals that communicate information already known to the brain would be an unnecessary waste. All these ions moving in and out of cells to send signals to the brain can't just stay on the opposite side of where they came from. It literally takes energy to pump sodium back out of neurons and pump potassium back in, so it's more efficient not to generate action potentials that don't carry worthwhile information.

Does this mean that only something new makes sense, and that everything familiar must be discarded as soon as sensations become boring? Vice versa; I think that this is the key to happiness, compatible with the principles of the brain. The ability to detect even familiar stimuli is restored by a quick "reset" that allows one to recover from desensitization enough to intensify subsequent sensations. It seems to me that it is precisely the ability of the brain to perceive sensations in contrast that partly explains why our attempts to achieve eternal satisfaction remain unsuccessful. The brain works on a curve, constantly comparing the current situation with the previous one, and therefore the secret of happiness may be unhappiness. Not absolute misfortune, of course, but a momentary chill that allows us to feel warm, a feeling of hunger that makes satiety so desirable, a period of despair that sends us into a tremendous sense of triumph. The path to satisfaction passes through contrasts. Add tags

February 2, 2018

Everyone wants to find happiness? Does anyone disagree? The right to pursue happiness is even enshrined in the Constitution.

But the reality is that we are not always satisfied. We are often unhappy and anxious.

I am sure that being happy all the time is unnatural. It is more likely that experiencing pain is more natural.

When something happens in our life, what happens?

This means that something new is happening. Now you need to determine what to do with this "new event". Do you intend to take some action or you will not do anything. And if you decide to do something, then you will have a choice.

Choosing what to do involves deciding not to act, which is a process of being in limbo. You don't know which decision is the right one. By your very definition, you don't own all the information because the "new event" has not been considered. We will have complete information only after we do this.

You must spend some amount of , which can be debilitating in some situations. The decision to make a decision can itself be "painful". I don't mean physical pain. I mean the emotional and intellectual side.

And when you come to implement a decision, no matter what decision you make, you take on the risks that it may not work out the way you initially expected it to.

Taking risks is also "painful".

Some suffering is associated with. Not necessarily in conflict with other people. Rather, with the conflict that is being waged within oneself.

One part of you is liberal, the other part is conservative. It seems to me that liberals act in terms of hope, so they are liberal in their choice. Conservatives are based on fear, so they are conservative, and the conflict that arises in our head is the conflict between fear and hope.

Weighing the pros and cons takes our mental energy. Thus, the pain of many sleepless nights and anxiety (which in critical cases manifests itself in the form of panic) accompanies the decision-making process.

These kinds of pains are inevitable because change is inevitable.

You can avoid pain if you avoid change. Go to the Himalayas. And for the rest of your life, meditate in a cave. Or if you don't pay attention to the world you live in.

The more ambitious you are, the more you expect from yourself and others. The more changes you allow in your life, the more pain you are likely to experience.

If your goal is to be happier - you can't be all the time, slow down. Expect less, desire less, strive for a conscious balance between hope and fear. Enjoy what you have, for everything else, trust in God.

Just my thoughts

Itzhak Calderon Adizes

Diana Balyko

16.09.2014 | 270

Each of us wants to be happy. But not everyone knows how to do it. Maybe the whole point is how we relate to the concept of happiness? Let's try to figure out what a person really needs to be happy.

What is happiness?

Books, articles, trainings about happiness - the sea. But “not all yogurts are the same”!

And if, leafing through a book, reading an article or skimming through an advertisement for the next training, you stumble upon strange, unsubstantiated statements like: “You are truly happy every minute of your life; your only problem is that you don't always realize it", or "A powerful medicine is a selfless pursuit of happiness" - feel free to throw this information into the trash. But not in the consumer, but in the garbage!

For such slogans impose a ban on the recognition of misfortune as such. There is a feeling: if you feel bad, if you are upset and sad, then you are the last loser and you have no place in the world of happy people. But it's not!

Happiness is not debt!

You don't have to be happy all the time. It's simple, but it's true. If you think you are unhappy, you are really unhappy. And this is not bad, not good, not a problem, not ashamed, not a disease, not your fault and not a problem - this is a fact. And he's neutral.

You have the right to be sad, cry, worry, get upset and generally be yourself. be happy with own will. And believe me: life is no better for others! It's just that most people say they're happy. The key word here is "say".

A huge number of couples claim to be very happy in marriage, while half of them get divorced. What does it say? They are just actively engaged in self-deception! Relax and be happy on your own.

Theories of happiness

Many conventional theories of happiness turn out to be wrong. British psychologist Michael Argyle said: “Admittedly, some of the implications are fairly obvious—for example, the fact that unemployment or divorce makes a person unhappy. However, without experimental studies details of these questions remain unknown: let's say which people these shocks plunge into misfortune, and which ones do not.

Simply put, there are statistics, and there is a unique personal experience. And there is you. And possibly divorce or non-renewal labor contract it is for you - good, not grief.

Even D. Defoe noted: “In every situation, something comforting will be found, if you look well.” So stop fooling yourself with all sorts of beautiful stories.

Paul Watzlawick, in his book How to Become Unhappy Without Help, poses the question point-blank: “What would we all come to and what would we become if we didn’t have our misfortunes?” and offers to look at the animals in the zoo, where they are not in danger of starvation, they are reliably protected from dangers and any diseases, including even toothache. As a result of all these worries, many animals are not happy at all - they have turned into similarities of human psychopaths and neurasthenics.

I want to save you from the naive belief that everything in life should be smooth. We need our misfortunes. Thanks to difficulties, defeats, falls and failures, which are only a natural part of life, a person grows and matures, and therefore becomes a person in the full sense of the word.

How to become a happy person?

Take a pen and Blank sheet paper or create a new file on the computer and write down all the qualities of your own personality that make you successful and enjoy every day.

If it will be difficult for you to complete it, ask for help from people who know you well, let them tell you. An outside view - feedback from the world - is always very useful.

Intelligence, a sense of humor, the ability to achieve goals, self-confidence, charisma, the ability to communicate and influence others, the talent of a speaker, endurance, patience ... What else is needed for happiness?

Made a list? Now every day, lean on your strengths and develop them.

It's okay to feel happy sometimes and not so happy sometimes. But this does not mean that you cannot find a constant source of happiness, pleasure and gratitude for your life. First you need to learn to be happy, remaining yourself. Try to practice a positive and grateful attitude towards the world every day. To accustom yourself to this outlook on life, introduce new habits into your regular routine that will keep you confident and in a good mood.

Steps

How to develop a sense of satisfaction with your life

Maintain a balance in work, relationships, and hobbies. Balance is an important part of every aspect of your life. Dedicate time to your work, social life, family activities, personal interests, exercise, and recreation.

If you're trying to balance work and personal time, try creating a daily schedule. Set aside time for leisure and social life right away, don't let work steal that time.
Set aside time in your schedule for self-care. Take a bubble bath, go for a run, draw something. Do something to help you relax.

Surround yourself with positive people. The people around you play a huge role in how you feel. If you are surrounded by negative cynical people, their behavior may reflect negatively on you. Therefore, it is better to try to establish relationships with optimistic, happy and joyful people.
- If relationships are difficult, try meeting new people. Volunteer with a charity, join a hobby club, or take a class to learn something new.
- If your friends are in in social networks complain too much and often, consider unfriending them, or go to your settings and make sure you don't see their posts in your news feed anymore.
Express gratitude for good events and for the wonderful people you have in your life. Every day, try to celebrate a few things for which you feel grateful. Express gratitude for your relationships, for the opportunities the universe has given you, for your favorite memories, for other wonderful things that have happened in your life.
- Write about these things in your journal every day. If you're upset or negative, reread your gratitude journal and be happy for yourself.
- Be sure to tell people how much you love and appreciate them. This will make both you and them happier.
Write the plot of your life like a good story. Every day, write down in your diary what you did, what happened to you, try to arrange these entries as a good positive story. Concentrate your attention on positive moments. When you write about the challenges you faced, focus on what you learned from the situation, how you were able to develop from the experience.
- Remember the fact that each of us has to cope with different difficulties. But these difficulties will not prevent you from achieving happiness.
- You can also try focusing on the 1 positive thing in your life (no matter how big).

How to create long-term habits

As you move forward, reevaluate your expectations from time to time. As you grow older, your life gradually changes. Therefore, you should not get hung up on certain expectations, goals and dreams, they can change over time - this is normal. Review your goals and expectations from time to time - this will allow you to look at life realistically and avoid disappointment.
- In some cases, it's better to lower your expectations. Expecting too much from yourself or from others, you run the risk of disappointment, sadness and worries.
- For example, as you age, your expectations of a partner may change. You may even want to shorten the list of requirements, which will help you find the person who will make you happy.
Strengthen relationships with family, friends and loved ones. Relations - key moment which makes your happiness permanent. A large number of friends is an optional component of happiness. Instead, set aside time to strengthen relationships with loved ones.
- Every week, plan to go somewhere with your friends or family. You can go on a picnic, watch a movie together, or just have fun at home.
- If you live far from your relatives, be sure to regularly call them on the phone, chat on video chat, and write letters.
- Remember important dates such as birthdays, anniversaries and weddings. Give your loved ones gifts or cute cards for these holidays.
- Tell your family and friends how much you love them, how much you appreciate them.
Get 7-9 hours of sleep every night. If you don't get enough sleep, you're likely to feel depressed, pessimistic, and stressed. A proper sleep schedule ensures that you feel great every day.
- Unless absolutely necessary, do not use electronic devices with a bright screen an hour before bedtime. Bright screen light will make it harder for you to fall asleep.
- Make sure your bedroom is great for sleeping. Pull up the curtains at night. To get rid of extraneous noise, buy earplugs or a white noise generator.
Increase your activity level. Exercise and move more - this will help improve your mood. To be more cheerful and happy, it is important to make your everyday life more active. Here are a few simple ways do it.

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