How to increase self-confidence. How to develop and improve self-confidence? What increases confidence in

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In myself, it is not looks, money or diplomas hanging on the wall. This worldview, life philosophy is something that can be instilled and educated. Of course, real, true confidence does not come immediately (because for this you need to simultaneously tame your ego and become more modest), however, with the help of some methods and tools, you can get the first results within a few weeks. These are the techniques.

Start to feel confident now.

Stop waiting for something to happen before you start feeling confident. Many people tell themselves the following:

I will feel confident when I lose 20 kilograms.
I will feel confident when I have a relationship with someone who loves and appreciates me.
I will feel confident when I graduate.
I will feel confident when I have the right car and clothes.

While you need to achieve your goals in order for confidence to be real, it won't come if you don't start believing in yourself.

Stop waiting for some outside signal to start feeling confident. Instead, start feeling confident right now, no matter where you are or what is happening around you.

Be resourceful

Most people put themselves into an unresponsive state before taking action. This state is created by thoughts and physiology.

Here are some examples:

Before entering the boss's office, a person winds himself up that he is not worthy of a new position or a raise in salary and finds thousands of reasons for this.
Before the start of an important presentation, he slouches, is afraid, starts to get nervous.
Before talking to a person of the opposite sex whom he likes, he thinks that he has no chance, because he is stupid or ugly.

Paul McKenna, Ph.D., says that confident people do the opposite: before taking any action that involves uncertainty and risk, they properly tune in to the challenge, treating it with passion, enthusiasm, determination, compassion, playfulness.

Pretend you are confident

It is said that Salvador Dali was incredibly shy. For an artist who wanted to gain fame, this was akin to a sentence. But his uncle gave him this advice: pretend to be an extrovert. Dali followed him and began to behave accordingly - not to be afraid to make contact with a variety of people. He soon became what he pretended to be.

Act like "If only"

So how do you pretend? Act as if. Ask yourself the following questions:

If I was confident in myself, how would I move?
If I was sure how would I sit?
If I was sure how would I dress?
If I was confident, how would I speak? What would I say now?
What thoughts would rush through my head?

And then just take your answers and start applying them. Do this consistently and very soon you will believe in yourself.

Go in small, sequential steps

In the first paragraph of this article, we argued that you need to feel confident right now, no matter where you are or how you feel. However, this is easier said than done. Here are the specific measures.

Imagine that there is another version of you, standing or sitting opposite. This version is a little more confident than you.
Now ask yourself what you need to do to be able to become that confident version of yourself. Need to be more assertive? Do you need to break down your goals so you can start implementing them in stages? Is there a skill that needs to be developed? Start doing this.
Once you start taking steps in the right direction, imagine again that there is a more confident version of you sitting in front of you, many times more confident. She is more charismatic and resourceful. What do you need to do to become one? Do it.
Continue to imagine versions of yourself that are happier, more enthusiastic, more passionate, and more determined. Keep taking action to become those best versions of yourself until you feel overwhelmed with confidence.

You better take care of yourself

Self-confident people take care of themselves:

Are eating .
They are leading.
They meditate, they read.
Don't screw yourself up.

When you take care of yourself, you let yourself know that you consider yourself important and worthy of care and attention. And in the end, your self-confidence depends on what you tell yourself about yourself.

Always get ready

One of the best ways to be confident in any situation is to do your homework ahead of time and be fully prepared for what awaits you. For example, if you have to prepare a presentation at work, do the following:

Make sure you take the time to do the necessary research.
Develop several alternatives.
Choose the alternative that you think is the best and get all the data you need.

After all, how can you feel confident in a situation for which you are not sufficiently prepared, when you could?

Visualize

This is perhaps one of the most powerful tools for self-confidence. When you have something important to do that is outside your comfort zone and you are worried that you will not be successful, visualize yourself in a situation that you are doing great.

As an illustration, suppose you are to speak to the board of directors of your company. Follow these steps:

Take a moment to close your eyes and see yourself standing before the advice, confident and speaking your speech flawlessly.
Imagine yourself calmly answering tricky questions from councilors.
Imagine how, after the presentation, everyone comes up to you, thanks and shakes your hand.

Notice situations when you are doing everything well and right.

Here are some ideas you can apply now:

Catch yourself doing something well, even if it's trivial. How, for example, you skillfully brewed tea today, having spilled only half of the teapot!
When you celebrate your success, praise yourself and virtually pat yourself on the back.
Allow yourself to feel proud of the work done.
Do this as often as possible.

We wish you good luck!

As you can see, there are many options for how "bad communities spoil good habits." There is only one way out - to reduce, and often just to zero, communication with such people. They pull into the swamp, and our scenario is to get out of it.

However, it is not good for a person to be alone. Therefore, a person's social circle must necessarily be, but correct. You need to surround yourself with people who will praise, support, believe, and say at the right time that everything will work out. And this is very important. The support of loved ones and the desire to live up to their expectations serves.

Don't exaggerate your mistakes

Each person has their own weaknesses, and they also have their own strengths. To improve self-esteem, you need to understand both your strengths and weaknesses. Then a person will know what is good in him, and for what he needs to be respected by other people and himself.

But you shouldn't be too critical of yourself and say that “I have only one drawbacks”. They were just looking for dignity badly. If you don't see it yourself, then ask people who value and respect you. Then don't argue with their opinion.

It is also important to remember that only those who do nothing are not wrong. All other people make mistakes from time to time, and there is no need to exaggerate or over-dramatize them. We learn from mistakes, and for one beaten two unbeaten give.

It is about gaining valuable life experience. It is like a brick that lies at our feet. We can stand on it and be higher, or we can stumble and then we will lie on the floor. Learn from your mistakes, draw conclusions, do not repeat them, and you will respect yourself more.

Probably, it will not be superfluous to remind you, dear readers, of how important it is to be a self-confident person in this life. However, you yourself can see perfectly well how confident people achieve much greater success in this world than insecure people. The confident is attracted to, the confident is loved, and the insecure is shunned, mocked, and in some cases even despised. Self-confidence is a sign of strength, and insecurity is a sign of weakness. And people love and respect strength, and hate weakness, because weakness does not lead to anything good. Therefore, it is better to be a confident person in order to enjoy life and achieve all kinds of success in it. In this article, I will tell you how to increase self-confidence, in the ways I know and have tried. And in general, on this site, I will try to write more about self-confidence, as this is a very important topic for many people. So stop by to see me more often. Well, now, let's take a closer look at this issue.

So, self-confidence - what is it? Let's say very simply and clearly - this is self-understanding and self-love! As for faith, then, of course, it must be present in your heart and mind. But it must be so strong and durable that it cannot be shaken. That is, you must always believe in yourself, no matter what happens. And to believe in yourself means to understand yourself and love yourself, again, no matter what. No one, remember, no one should shake your faith in yourself, no one should force you to doubt yourself and your capabilities! Otherwise, there is no point in faith! Believe in yourself as if you know for sure that nothing is impossible for you in this life and that you are the best person in this world, the most valuable person in this world, without which he cannot exist. Self-confident people understand that besides themselves, there is no one and nothing in this world more important. Self-confident people love themselves already because they just are, that they exist, they love themselves because they have the opportunity to live and enjoy everything that life gives them, both good and bad. They enjoy life and love it, no matter what kind of life they have. You will never become completely confident in yourself if you only feel confident in certain situations, when external circumstances are favorable for you. You must always believe in yourself to be confident, so to speak, for real! And you also need to understand yourself in order to see all your strengths and weaknesses and skillfully use them to achieve your goals. You don't have to divide your life into black and white. Your whole life should be a holiday for you! And you should be the main character in your life, you need to become an authority for yourself, and then, if possible, for others. And then, friends, a miracle will happen - a program of self-confidence will turn on in you. This is a program - a leader, a leader, a hunter, a program - a high-ranking male, or a female if you are a woman.

You and I are so made friends that inside us lives both a slave and a master. And depending on how our life develops, as well as on how we treat ourselves, either the confident personality of the master, or the insecure, degenerate personality of the slave wakes up in us. Do you see what is the meaning of what we call self-confidence? This is the state of a strong person - a leader, a leader! This is a program, in computer terms, necessary for those people who want to subordinate, not obey.

Here, let's take a look at what a confident person should be so that you understand what you need to do to become just that person. There are opinions that live in the heads of many people, according to which, a self-confident person always keeps his posture, walks with his head held high, a confident gait, speaks loudly and confidently, actively gestures, he is firm in his decisions, always in a good mood and so on and so forth. Friends, if you hear or read such nonsense somewhere, you can safely ignore it, because such an understanding of the state of self-confidence has nothing to do with it. A self-confident person doesn't care about all of the above. He doesn't care what his posture is, how he speaks, how he walks, how he looks, and so on - he loves himself as he is, and does not pay attention to the inconsistency of his behavior with the beliefs of other people. If you do not like the way a person talks, how he walks, how he looks, and you think he is insecure, this is your problem. A confident person does not care about your opinion and your attitude towards him. If he needs to, he will force you to treat yourself in the way he needs, and if not, he doesn't care about you. Of course, being interested in making an impression on people, a confident person can change his behavior in the right way, he can play one role or another, if necessary, so that people form the opinion he needs about him. But he himself, inside himself, will remain the way he is comfortable to be. So do not attach any importance to all these external signs of self-confidence. Live the way it is convenient for you to live, behave the way it is convenient for you to behave, and convince other people of your rightness - let them change and adapt to you, not you to them. Let them follow your rules, and you ignore their rules. Is it difficult for you to do this? Come on, there is nothing complicated about it. You just need to tune in to the correct logic to do the way you want. He is always right who considers himself right and at the same time actively, but competently, imposes his righteousness on others, and not the one who is supposedly objectively right. There is no objectivity, each person is right in his own way, because each person has his own interests.

Therefore, it is not difficult to stick to your own beliefs and follow your own rules. And this approach to life will include in you the program of a strong, self-confident person. And by competently imposing your beliefs and rules on other people, you will include a leader program in yourself. But keep in mind that you must always carefully and competently present your innocence, your beliefs, values \u200b\u200band rules to other people so that they agree to accept them, and not oppose them. There is no need to impose anything on anyone with aggressive methods. Show people in the best light - your values, views, beliefs, rules and they themselves will accept it all. A self-confident person does not force anything on anyone. Instead, he beautifully shows people his values, his views on certain things, his truth, invites them to follow their rules so that they themselves want to become a part of this all, so that they voluntarily agree to abide by his rules. But aggressive behavior, the use of brute physical force against the weak is not only a sign of a person's low intellectual development, but also evidence of his self-doubt.

You know, friends, formally, there are so many ways to increase self-confidence that you can even get confused among them. You have probably already read articles on this topic and tried to do something with yourself, using the information received, in order to become a more self-confident person. So what happened? Probably, not everything worked out for you, if at all, since you are reading this article. Do you know why you didn't really succeed, why, having learned about how to increase self-confidence, you did not increase it? And because this is not a science for you, it is not knowledge that is important here, but feelings and sensations. You need to learn to feel like a free person and learn to feel your importance for yourself. You must awaken in yourself a free and strong personality, and shut up that tucked-up mediocrity who always tries to please everyone and adapt to everyone, who is afraid of criticism in his address and tries to keep aloof at all times and everywhere. And all these self-confidence steps that you can read about in books and in countless articles on the Internet are just theory, dry and lifeless. Feel the taste of life, whatever it may be, feel your independence from everything that happens in this world. Dissolve in your life, in the present moment, as if you came out of darkness into the light, and forget about everything that prevents you from loving this life. This love of life will allow you to love yourself, because if it were not for you, there would not be this bliss that you experience when you live, when you just breathe the air. Feel the joy that you are in this world. Well, don't you feel your own greatness, your own significance, your own exclusivity? Without you this world would not exist, for you it certainly would not exist! Do you understand this? Realize how great it is to be human and enjoy life. You are a human being, you are a person - you are unique, you are magnificent, you are divine! Feel a strong personality waking up inside you, who can do anything. This person has crazy self-confidence because she is a great person. You are a great person!

If, thinking about yourself, you involuntarily begin to compare yourself with other people, because it is against their background that you feel yourself an insecure person, then drive these thoughts away. They, these other people, as you always thought and probably still seem to be, in some way better than you, in especially difficult cases - they are better than you in everything. If these thoughts torment you, then answer your question - and what, that they are better than you? What's next? Well, yes, there are other people who can be better than you in some way, but in some ways, by the way, worse, what does this have to do with you? You live your life, and they live theirs, you have their own problems, they have their own, you have their own joys, and they have theirs. Other people have absolutely nothing to do with your self-confidence, because they are different, you know, different. They look at life through their little window, and you through yours, they play their game, and you play yours. So forget about other people, do not compare yourself with them, do not compare your life with theirs, focus on yourself! You are reading this article in order to increase self-confidence, and not in order to understand why you are better and worse than other people, therefore your personality is what is most important for you in this life. And I want to talk to you in this article only about you!

And you, too, need to think only about yourself, here, at this moment, you need to think only about yourself and about no one else. You must realize that every part of you is the best, most perfect thing that has ever been created in this world. All of your personal qualities that you know about are the most valuable thing you have. Not your things, not your success in life, not money and not the attitude of other people towards you, should instill in you self-confidence, but your acceptance of yourself as you are. Understand that self-confidence is not some kind of pumping, pumping, pumping out of your psyche, as they do with stupid people when they instill in them any nonsense about themselves - this is your understanding of your invaluableness, your exclusiveness, your significance. The strong person living in you loves himself and values \u200b\u200bhimself, because he considers himself the most valuable creature in this world, and the slave living inside you, the weakling, wanted to spit on himself, because he considers himself an empty place. You must understand that you are not one of many, but the one and only one, special. Well, there is no other person like you in the world, and there never will be. And the fact that you are now living is a great happiness. This is how the self-confident master, leader, leader, who lives inside you perceives life. And a weak personality, who also lives in you, always compares himself with everyone, and of course, not in his favor. A weak person thinks about others more than about herself, because she does not love and appreciate herself, and does not consider herself as a person at all. Drown this weak personality in yourself with thoughts of your own greatness, because it is she who makes you an insecure person.

You must also understand, dear readers, that your deeds will make you a confident person. Do you think these should be such things that will allow you to achieve something outstanding in this life? No, any of your deeds can do it, any of your activities will benefit you. Many times I came across people who frantically repeated - mistakes, mistakes, mistakes - we make mistakes, we constantly make mistakes, we do everything wrong, and this kills our self-confidence. Therefore, we will not do anything else, because nothing happens anyway. Friends - everyone makes mistakes! What's wrong with mistakes !? Our whole life consists of mistakes and problems, there would be no mistakes and problems, I don't even know how we would live. And it's okay to make mistakes, because, as you know, only those who do nothing are not wrong. Do you know how many mistakes I have made in my life? A monstrously many, so many that words cannot convey it simply. Do you think I care a lot? Not at all. And my self-confidence is not affected in any way by how many mistakes I have made in the past and how many I will make in the near future. Although no, I'm lying when I'm wrong - my self-confidence grows! And how it will not grow - I live, I act, I create, I do what I think is right, what I want to do, what I consider important to do. How can I not be confident in myself. And my mistakes testify to my active work. And when I am wrong, I know for sure that I am not afraid of anything and do not run from anything, I do not limit myself in actions due to mistakes. I continue to do what I consider necessary to do, no matter what. And you say mistakes. Yes, you spit on these mistakes, in the sense, do not attach much importance to them, but only take them into account in order to know how not to do it. In general, learn from mistakes, as smart people do, and do not kill yourself because of them. The main thing is not to be afraid to act, the more things you redo, the better. A self-confident person is a person of action!

So friends - love yourself, appreciate yourself, admire yourself, don't compare yourself to anyone, and your self-confidence will increase. And most importantly - act, I beg you, act! You do not need to sit around and wait until some words of other people give you confidence in yourself - go and do something important and great, make mistakes, then do it again, be persistent, do not be afraid of difficulties and you yourself will not notice, how to become a very confident person. Feed a strong personality, not a weak one. As long as you are active, you will be charged with confidence, as soon as you fall into a passive state, your self-confidence will begin to fade.

In the event that your negative life experience prevails over positive, as a result of which you are not confident in yourself, then rethink your negative experience, yourself, or with the help of a psychologist. Think about it, is it as negative as it seems to you? Maybe your past failures paved the way for your success in the present or in the future? Although, which means - maybe this is exactly the way it is. Everything that you did and are doing - everything is correct! There is no need to regret anything. Rejoice in everything that was, what is and what will be, because our life consists of all this. Even the fact that you were, until now, an insecure person is a set of sensations you need that you should have experienced in your life. Otherwise, life will seem tasteless, do you understand? Once I was an insecure young man, and I didn’t like it too much. But still it was also a very good time. There was a meaning in my lack of confidence in myself - I just felt this lack of confidence, experienced it, lived it until it left, when I stopped needing it. Now I understand that these were quite interesting sensations, and I would not want to change something in my life, namely, in my past. I am happy that I was an insecure person, but since in our practical world it is still better to be self-confident - I gave up insecurity in favor of confidence.

And now I invite you to do the same. Just let go of self-doubt in favor of confidence, that's all you have to do. A person can change the program of his behavior whenever he wishes, there is nothing complicated about it. You just need to want to change your views on life and on yourself, and they will immediately change. Make a decision - to become a confident person, and you will become one. A strong personality will wake up in you, and a weak personality will fall asleep. Give a command to your body - in the form of thoughts that you are a leader, a leader, that you are the best person in the world, that you are a unique person, that you are a genius person, special, invaluable, that all your deeds and actions were and will be correct! And then your self-confidence will wake up, because the personality of a strong person will wake up in you. With the right thoughts, you activate the self-confidence program.

If you fail to give yourself this command - contact me for help, then I will give you this command. You will definitely become a confident person with me! In some cases, people still need to change their lifestyle in order for it to start helping to awaken a strong, confident personality in them. But we will talk about this, dear friends, in my other articles.

Without confidence, you cannot succeed in any area from your career to your personal life. These 10 tricks can help you become more equanimous and deal with insecurity.

You will definitely have to leave your comfort zone and go in search of luck if you have not decided to waste your life. The more confident you are, the more successful your position and affairs.

Without self-confidence, it is difficult to succeed in any area of \u200b\u200blife, because it is all about situations in which you have to leave your comfort zone. And all of them, from meetings and negotiations to sales and people management, go better for you the more confident you are. These 10 tips can help you deal with insecurity.

How to increase self-confidence

1. Never forget about your strengths and don't be too harsh on yourself.

For personal use only, make a list of your inherent strengths and what you do really well. Be honest with yourself and do without false modesty. It is not necessary to look in yourself and write down outstanding qualities, there are enough of these: I maintain order on my desktop, I finish what I started, good memory, and so on. Review this list each week and add new items if possible. There are no ideal people. We all make mistakes. And they do not always occur solely through our fault.

2. Monitor your health

If you are in good shape, you can achieve a lot. Regular exercise, which you enjoy doing, builds strength, tenacity, and increases resistance to stress. Eat a healthy diet and get enough sleep. Rest breaks, relaxation times, and time for yourself should be as much a part of your daily routine as brushing your teeth. Enjoy the fact that you look good and try to take everything from life. People around you will treat you with interest and respect.

3. Remain calm and try to relieve stress

Avoid fuss and rush. Develop resistance to stress. Simple relaxation and stress management techniques will calm your body and mind and become your lifeline. Take time every day to relax - at least five minutes. Practice mindfulness for at least a minute every day. These few minutes will be very rewarding.

4. Remember your rights

Remember that you, like everyone, have rights that must be respected at work. Here are some of them: you have the right to your own opinion, to be treated with respect and as an equal, not to be insulted, to be listened to. You have the right to error, to fail, and to try again.

5. Behave assertively (but not aggressively!)

Treat yourself and others with respect, learn to compromise and say no when needed. In a conflict situation, be prepared to negotiate and compromise. Whenever possible, strive to ensure that all parties are satisfied with the result.

6. Plan

Plan, prioritize and be organized - you need to know where you are now, where you want to go, and how you plan to do it. Know exactly what you want. Weigh and plan carefully. Decide what your first step will be and take it. Be prepared to adjust your plan as needed. Whatever task you face, prepare for it. Practice in advance if possible, such as giving a presentation. Pay attention to this, and you will not only prepare for the upcoming event, but also increase your confidence and self-esteem.

7. Body language

Move and speak with confidence, and you will not only look like this, but you will really feel that way. Raise your head, relax your shoulders and torso, and establish eye contact with the interlocutor. Demonstrate calm and confidence when you open the door and enter the room. An open posture, a firm handshake, a calm voice will show the interlocutor that you are happy to see him and communicate with him. Your speech should be clear, rhythmic, and infect with enthusiasm. Show your genuine interest and you can show yourself as a charismatic speaker!

8. Write down your plans and goals.

Use a personal diary for this. It should be convenient and efficient.

9. Visualize

Provide as much detail as possible about situations in which you would like to feel more confident. Think through the possible development of events step by step and try to successfully cope with all difficulties.

10. Review your progress regularly

What have you been able to achieve? What didn't go so smoothly? Decide what you plan to do next. Be flexible and willing to change. Move forward towards your goal.

You will succeed!

Based on the book "Self-Confidence"

Without self-confidence, it is difficult to succeed, because business is all about situations in which you have to leave your comfort zone. And all of them, from meetings and negotiations to sales and people management, go better for you the more confident you are.

Here are 7 techniques to boost your confidence.

1. Never forget your strengths and don't be too hard on yourself.

2. Monitor your health.

3. Remain calm and try to relieve stress.

4. Remember that you, like any person, have rights,

which must be observed at work. Here are some of them: you have the right to your own opinion, to be treated with respect and as an equal, not to be insulted, to be listened to. You have the right to error, to fail, and to try again.

5. Plan, prioritize and be organized.

You need to know where you are now, where you want to go and how you plan to do it. Know exactly what you want. Weigh and plan carefully. Decide what your first step will be and take it. Be prepared to adjust your plan as needed. Whatever task you face, prepare for it. Practice in advance if possible, such as giving a presentation. Pay attention to this, and you will not only prepare for the upcoming event, but also increase your confidence and self-esteem.

6. Body language.

7. Visualize.

Imagine chewing a lemon wedge ... Your mouth must have filled with saliva. So? The point is that the human brain is not very good at distinguishing between what is happening in the imagination and in the real world. That is why one of the easiest and most effective ways to build willpower is visualization.

All you need to do is imagine a situation in which you want to feel more confident. Try to keep the image detailed, then work through the situation in your mind step by step for a few minutes, dealing with any difficulties that you think may arise. The task may sound strange, but it is easy to complete and the trick works.

You will succeed!

Learn more about how to build self-confidence and self-esteem in the book

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