How to make a good first impression. How to make a good impression at an event with a lot of strangers. Similarity attraction effect

Sometimes, it seems to us that it is very difficult to make a good impression on a person. But it is not so. We will share with you tips on how to do this.

Many people think that first impressions are usually wrong. Yes, it happens that at the first meeting it seems to us that a person is not very interesting or slightly arrogant, but then the realization comes that he is a very kind, sympathetic and extremely entertaining interlocutor. Why does it come out this way? Often, this is due to the fact that a person simply does not know how to behave correctly at the first meeting, and there are reasons for this. Someone is too shy, someone is nervous, and someone just didn't have a good day. Anyway, we will give you 9 tips to help you avoid this situation and make a good impression immediately when meeting new people.

1. Share something good

2. Be friendly

It so happens that before meeting a person, they described him in all "colors", along with a bunch of his shortcomings and not a very good past. In a conversation, do not dwell only on this, having previously drawn conclusions about the interlocutor. If you are deliberately unfriendly, the person will immediately feel it, which will make the conversation tense and uncomfortable. Moreover, the person will have a bad impression of you, and no longer by hearsay, not from other people, but directly from you.

3. Don't mention names of acquaintances

It often happens that you and your interlocutor somehow end up with a whole bunch of common acquaintances. It is best not to name your relatives or friends when you first meet, be it a business meeting or a casual conversation. A person can make false conclusions about you, judging by your friends, and sometimes this situation is extremely unpleasant. Many people believe that people are attracted to their kind, so all the bad antics of your friends or relatives can immediately be attributed to you.

4. Don't talk about your plans

When you first meet, you should not share with your interlocutor about your dreams, desires and plans for the future. Even if you succeeded in almost everything, for example, create your own business, go to live abroad, build a house - do not let a person into this at the first meeting. You can simply be considered arrogant and boastful interlocutor.

5. Skip serious topics

At the first meeting, conversations on narrow topics are best left out. For example, you should not bring up a conversation about politics, war, interracial conflicts. Also, there is no need to move on to discussing people, judging them behind their backs. You cannot know what kind of past your interlocutor has. Therefore, such topics are best postponed for the future. In our world, tolerance and loyalty are highly valued, so show yourself just such a person.

6. Keep your emotions in check

Even if your interlocutor is unpleasant to you, you are angry or offended at someone - never transfer your emotions to the conversation. Try to control your behavior and not seem rude and impolite. No matter what mood you are in, no matter how you like the interlocutor, be educated, polite, and never give in to negative emotions.

7. Don't brag

You may be more successful in life than the person you are talking to, however, you should never brag. Even if you have achieved more in your career, you have a prosperous family, a dog, a house, a car and a lot of money, you shouldn't mention this, and even 15 times. Believe me, there is no need to show yourself as a braggart at the first meeting and underestimate the self-esteem of the interlocutor with your achievements.

8. Don't ask for anything

In no case do you need to ask a person about something at the first meeting. Do not press on pity, do not blame anyone for your troubles and misfortunes, and even more so, do not cry at the first meeting with a person. Whatever troubles may occur in your life, you should not initiate your interlocutor into them.

9. Ask questions

Of course, talking about yourself is always very exciting, but don't forget about your interlocutor. Show your interest in him, take an interest in his life, hobbies. Try to ask him more questions, but not too personal, so as not to accidentally hurt his feelings.

Whoever says what, you should not try to remember all the names of the interlocutors. It is much more important to listen to the person, not to interrupt and not "switch off" during a conversation about something else. Keep in mind not the names of people, but a good impression of them.

It is not so difficult to create a great impression about yourself when you first meet, if you just simply be yourself, have emotions, be polite and not hide in your shell, being afraid to stick your head out. Have a casual conversation, smile, joke and just enjoy the conversation with the other person. We wish you happiness, as many joyful days in life as possible, and don't forget to press the buttons and

The first impression about a person is made in 7 seconds. Whether it's a party, a date, a job interview or a meeting with business partners, always be fully armed, because there will be no other chance to make a good first impression.

How to leave a good impression of yourself?

Do you chronically make a bad impression on people or have communication problems when you see a person for the first time? It doesn't matter - in this material we will tell you how to win over any person with whom chance brings you.

Others are shy too

Shyness is the main reason an acquaintance might not go the way you expected. But it works both ways - you have no idea how many people consider themselves shy. In 1995, 40% of the respondents surveyed by statisticians considered themselves to be "shy", by 2007 their number had grown to 58%. Remember that most people feel uneasy about being in a room with strangers.


Down with selfishness

When considering the first contact, many ask the questions: “How to avoid awkward situations? How can you turn the situation in your favor? " Psychologists advise before the first dialogue with new acquaintances to change this setting to "What can I do for these people?" Having to think about others first will distract you from your insecurities and defuse the situation.

Smile

Peter Mende-Sedlecki, PhD in Social Psychology from New York University, has shown that people generally trust “friendly” faces and reject “hostile” ones. At the same time, a person only needs 34 milliseconds to read facial expressions from the interlocutor's face and decide whether he is trustworthy. So smile and make eye contact.


Fit the occasion

Each event has its own atmosphere. Analyze the nature of the event before heading out to where you will certainly have to communicate with strangers. This will help you tune in the right way, not to be mistaken with the choice of clothes and topics for conversation.


Prepare a 7 second story about yourself

No need to write out your biography from toddler age, just give a couple of things about yourself: “Hi! I am Christina, sister of your friend Mitya. I came from Moscow to St. Petersburg this weekend, glad to meet you. " The main goal is to help the interlocutor find common ground and establish a dialogue (see point 2). “What do you do?” Is perhaps the most popular question when meeting people after the question about their name. Try to get the other person interested in your answer and get him to delve into the questioning.


Instead of "I am a realtor" say "I help people find peace and a roof over their heads", instead of "I edit school textbooks" - "I show the younger generation the vector of development." Don't be afraid to sound overly pompous, after all, everything can be reduced to a joke.

Four magic words

Let's say the conversation about your work took a minute and a half. A start has been made - what to do next? Show interest in the life of the person you are talking to: "What about you?" Find out about his work, hobbies, main activities. Attention is always nice. But you should not portray interest if there is none: you risk being branded as a hypocrite in the eyes of another person.


Use body language

You can think of body language theory in different ways, but you shouldn't deny the influence of non-verbal cues on the impression of a person. If the interlocutor "mirrors" your manners and postures, the speed and rhythm of speech, you unconsciously feel acceptance in relation to him - "Yes, he is on the board! We are alike, and he sympathizes with me. " However, mirroring should not be obvious - it can cause rejection. Also, watch your posture, facial expression and gestures: the back should be flat, the face should be friendly, gestures should be relaxed.


Wear what you like

Fact: You feel more confident in comfortable clothes. This does not mean that you have to come to a business meeting in stretched sweatpants and a sweatshirt, but you should not wear a tight suit or tight shoes with huge heels. It is important to find a balance between the dress code of the event and your comfort.


Compliment the sequel

“Awesome shoes!” - undoubtedly, your interlocutor will be pleased to hear it. But a much better "investment" for further conversation will be the phrase "Amazing shoes! Long dreamed of something like this. Where did you get them, if not a secret? "

Read as much as possible

As a rule, well-read people are great conversationalists. Stay up to date with the latest major events - from the Blade Runner remake to the armed uprisings in Venezuela.


Don't wait to get interested

This is a common mistake many introverts make: “I’ll wait until they have a conversation with me.” Luck smiles at the one that takes the first step. Be the first to contact. Smile, keep straight, and look straight in your eyes - these are three things that inspire confidence.

Talk to outsiders

Do you see a person standing alone at a busy party? Get to know him! Most likely, he cannot overcome shyness and will be very glad to receive your attention. “You look interesting as a person,” says such an act.


Give your full attention

When talking with a person, do not be distracted by calls, messages and social networks, do not look behind his back in search of acquaintances with whom you would be more willing to communicate. It's just plain ugly.

Don't be afraid of groups

A group of three or more people is more open to new "members" than two one-on-one conversations. A large company rarely talks about something personal, but by intervening in a conversation between two people, you can become a "third person".


Be sensitive

If you are chatting with friends and you see someone trying to join him, step back half a step and invite him. Both this person and your friends will appreciate the nobility of this gesture.


End the conversation competently

Ending a conversation right is just as difficult as starting it. We offer the following scheme:
  • Interrupt yourself, not the other person.
  • Smile. Let us know that it was a pleasure to meet you and that you are grateful for your time.
  • “But, I beg your pardon, I need to…” give a lift to my friend from work, pick up the child from school, and have time to go to the store. The main thing is to make it clear that you are ending the conversation for an important reason, and not because you become bored.
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We hope these tips will help you feel more confident at any event and not be afraid to make new acquaintances. Below, we'll show you how to act on a date to impress a girl or boyfriend.

How to make the first impression on a girl or a guy?

If you are suddenly reading these lines in some cozy cafe and an attractive representative of the opposite sex came into your field of vision, we offer some tips that will help you smoothly turn an acquaintance into a first date.


Compliment

But don't overdo it. Think about what good things you can say about him / her so that the words sound sincere. You can compliment your outfit or your appearance, but that's too predictable. If you're okay with a sense of humor, don't be afraid to joke. Avoid vulgar jokes and hackneyed "tackles", like "I got a call from heaven and said that they lost the most beautiful angel."


Take care of your appearance

Alas, the phrase about a meeting by clothes is more relevant than ever. Even if you shine with wit, and with your eloquence plug Cicero into the belt, all your efforts will go down the drain if you are conniving with appearance.


Watch your manners

Girls really appreciate respectful signs of attention. In no case violate her personal space in the first minutes of acquaintance, but you can hold the door to her, give her a hand in front of the step, or treat her to a drink. Do not allow rude and dirty jokes, obscene language. You should not wash the bones around, even if the woman at the next table is very unpleasantly chomping. Be polite to everyone around you.

Feel confident

Even if a fire is raging inside you, keep calm and confident. In no case do not slouch, do not look sullenly, do not take closed poses (crossed arms) and do not use insincere gestures (hands on the face, running eyes).


Get the conversation back on track

Do not reveal too personal details too early. Let your first conversation take place within the framework of things that are relevant but general. Ask questions more than talk about yourself: what your interlocutor does, where he studied, how he likes to spend time, in a word, try to find common interests. Try not to allow awkward pauses: at this moment both you and your interlocutor feel uncomfortable, but who wants to continue communication on such conditions?

Don't brag

No one likes braggart, especially women. It is not necessary to boast from the first minutes of acquaintance with connections, a highly paid position or a luxurious car. By this you will declare yourself as a selfish and mercantile person.


Don't be afraid of rejection

The word "no" is not the end of the world. This may not be about you at all. The main thing is a positive attitude towards your interlocutor and towards yourself. Remember, if you think you don't deserve her / his attention, the other person will think the same way.


Finally, the editors of the site invites you to go through to find out what people think of you in the first minute of meeting. If its results upset you, don't despair - everything is in your hands!
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As you know, the first impression is the impression that a person makes on us from the first seconds when we first meet. In particular, psychologists say that it is formed within the first seven seconds from the moment of the meeting. Some of them devote even less time to this: just 2 seconds. Further, they believe, opinion may change, but only to a small extent.

But don't go to a psychologist here either: we all know that when we meet a new person, we almost at first glance understand whether we like him or not. Except that we can’t determine with an accuracy of a second how long it took us.

We meet new people every day. And we do not just collide, but whether we like it or not, we have to communicate with them: in the same transport, in various service sectors, etc. We evaluate, we are evaluated, and it depends on what is done for us how we behave ourselves in this or that situation, will we maintain further relations with the new person - will he become our colleague or friend, or will we prefer to bypass him on the tenth road. Even love at first sight, which is so much talked about, is based on the same first impression.

One can argue for a long time how true the first impression is. After all, it also happens that a person who does not like at first sight eventually becomes our best friend. And the one from whom we were initially delighted, will greatly disappoint us in the future. And we will once again be convinced of the correctness of the statement: "The first impression is deceiving."

And remember what our favorite classic wrote:

“When people assure me that first impressions never deceive them, I just shrug. In my opinion, such people are not too perceptive or too arrogant. As for me, the longer I know a person, the more mysterious he seems. And just about my oldest friends, I can say that I know absolutely nothing about them ”.

Curiously, another popular writer - our contemporary, who was born exactly 100 years later than Maugham - stated the opposite:

"People aren't really that complicated, and the first impression someone makes on us is usually right."

And yet there aren't many people who don't want to make a good first impression. And one of the cases when it is very important for us is the interview-interview with the employer. Especially if we want to get our dream job.

"You won't get a second chance to make a first impression."

How to win over a stranger

Many people probably know how to spoil the first impression. But are there any techniques that will win over a stranger to us, and in particular an employer?

1. They are greeted by clothes, but escorted by the mind

We have all heard this proverb a hundred times, suggesting that clothing is important, but mind is still more important. Yes, but after all, they are greeted by their clothes!

We can say that it is a kind of visiting card. By clothes, in most cases, we can judge a person's wealth, social status, his occupation, how neat he is. Equally important is its relevance for different occasions. When you look at a person in stale clothes and dirty hair, an internal rejection arises: it seems that his affairs are also neglected.

As for it, it is clear that a young man applying for a respectable position and coming for an interview in shorts, a bright T-shirt with a frivolous inscription and beach slippers can cause mistrust in the employer.

Some people, who by their occupation have to be in public a lot, resort to the help of image-makers who “invent” an image for them depending on what they “bring to the masses”. And we are talking not only about clothes, but about the whole appearance.

For example, we came to a lecture, and we see how the lecturer, on his way to the stage, smoothes his hair with his hands, pulls up his pants or skirt, fussily searches for something in his pockets - that's all, the first impression of him is already ruined.

For the same few seconds, an observant person manages to catch the facial expressions, gestures, posture of another person. And now he can judge how confident and independent his interlocutor is, what his self-esteem is, whether he is an optimist in life or a pessimist, etc. It is no secret that a more favorable impression will be made by a person who radiates friendliness, benevolence and confidence.

By the way, psychologists distinguish in human behavior, thanks to which it is possible to determine the state of mind of the interlocutor. If we want to give the impression of an open person, then we should not cross or "close" the positions of the arms and legs. Our gestures should be fluid, and our head should be slightly raised. Conversely, hands hidden behind the back or in pockets, crossed legs or fingers, a lowered head will show our psychological closeness.

2. We speak beautifully

If we want to make a good impression, we must pay attention to ours, because it is not for nothing that they call him the second person.

Sometimes the voice conveys the character of a person so accurately that we don't even need to see him. For example, we are talking on the phone with a stranger and we hear shrill notes in his voice. An image of an unbalanced hysterical person appears in our imagination. If the speech of our interlocutor is too fast and inconsistent, then, most likely, we are dealing with an insecure person who is too quick to express his opinion, fearing that he will be interrupted or stopped listening. The owner of a clear voice is usually a cheerful and positive person.

And some people are endowed with such a bewitching and magical timbre of voice that it is only thanks to it that an excellent first impression is formed of them.

Favorable impression is made by an open, inviting look. Therefore, when entering into a conversation, it is important to establish and maintain with the interlocutor. Thus, we will express our interest in him and what he says, show our sympathy and desire to continue communication.

Conversely, running or lowered eyes suggest that our interlocutor is insincere and is hiding something from us. Seeing his downcast gaze, we will think that for some reason he considers himself guilty or too depressed. True, you should not embarrass the interlocutor with too direct, unbreakable gaze. Such a piercing gaze can make him think that we are yearning to take a dominant position, and it makes a repulsive impression.

4. We give the interlocutor the right to speak first

Psychologists assure that it is much easier to win someone's sympathy if you give him the opportunity to speak first. By doing this, we will show our respect and interest in the interlocutor, and he will be grateful to us a hundred times for this.

The gift is quite rare, and therefore valuable. There are not so many people who listen to us without interrupting or not thinking about something about their own. Therefore, we do not forget the one who shows attention to us, giving the right to the first word. And we have the most favorable impression of him as "the sweetest person."

5. Choosing personal meetings

Recently, meetings and interviews have gained particular popularity, for example, with help. And this is not surprising: employers, clients, potential employees are sometimes separated by huge distances.

On the one hand, it is very convenient. On the other hand, there are pitfalls here. Namely: psychologists have found that it is much easier to win over a person by communicating live. And the one who resorts to the help of modern means of communication, gaining in time and money, sometimes loses in the impression that he has on the interlocutor.

So, the researchers advise: if you really need to make a good impression, you should prefer face-to-face contact, rather than through telephone or Internet communications.

Each person should think about what his first impression is, observe his behavior and habits, analyze and, if necessary, correct. After all, no matter what they say that it is deceiving, there are many situations in life when our fate depends on the first impression we make.

It is believed that it is impossible to make a good impression if you feel negative about yourself. So millions of people on the planet are doomed to make disgusting first impressions due to low self-esteem? Not if they resort to one trick. If you change your behavior, so will your attitude. In other words, if you pretend that you are not afraid, the fear will actually go away.

Start smiling and you will gradually feel the confidence build up.

Don't strive for the ideal. You don't have to be a charismatic leader or the life of the party to communicate and feel the joy of communication. The ideal is the enemy of the good.

Dress comfortably, but according to the situation

The desire to stand out with an unusual appearance or, conversely, not to change yourself and your favorite sweater with deer can ruin the first impression. If you decide to join the masses and make acquaintances, try to dress like everyone else. An informal outfit or cozy stretched sweatpants at an IT conference will attract the attention of the public, but they will not do you good. Leave your favorite look for the afterparty.

Don't force yourself to love people.

A common psychological misconception is that in order to make a good first impression, you need to be positive about others. But most of them have had negative experiences with Homo sapiens. “The more I know people, the more I love dogs” - a good half of the world's inhabitants are ready to subscribe to this phrase.

Don't force yourself to truly love others. To make a good impression, it is enough to be positive about who you are communicating with at the moment. This does not imply hot hugs and long handshakes. Imagine that you are playing the role of a person who likes these people.

Don't start the conversation first if you don't want to

Another standard tip is to start the conversation first. But if this is difficult for you, forget it. Just show openness: there is a slight smile on the lips, the body is in a relaxed (but not cheeky) position, a benevolent look. Non-verbal signs will show others that you are ready to talk.

Non-verbal communication tips:

  • Stand or sit, leaning slightly towards the other person.
  • Mirror your speech rate and posture.
  • Touch the other person's elbow at the right moment. American psychologist and author of the book "First Impression" Ann Demarais suggests touching a person's elbow while pointing at something.

If the conversation is started by another person, not you, then the principle of commitment is triggered and the initiator of the conversation subconsciously feels the need to “invest” in dialogue and acquaintance.

Let the other person know that they are important and valuable

An easy way to please another person is to show them how important they are. And this is not only flattery and praise. It is usually advised to demonstrate your strengths when meeting. Try it differently: don't show off.

The more modest you look compared to others, the better others feel and the better they begin to relate to you.

Many people in a conversation want to immediately show their knowledge and experience. But to start a conversation, another option is suitable: ask the interlocutor's opinion on some issue and do not overwhelm with your knowledge. Just do not overdo it: no one likes humiliation and groveling.

Look for like-minded people

Finding out if a person is your like-minded person is simple. Start with subtle questions about work or the political situation in the country. Did the answer resonate in your soul? Continue communication. If not, change the subject or the interlocutor. Do not try to convince the person - this will ruin the first impression of you.

Practice more often

It's not just formal events that make an impression. Train your communication skills by talking to people more often in different places.

Practical minimum. Where to begin?

Listen and pay attention to the emotional message of the interlocutor. It is advisable to refer to people by name, but not too often. It is possible with a remark on a general topic - about the event, speakers, participants, and so on. End it with a question, for example: “This is my first time at such a large-scale conference. Do you know who the organizer is? "

Listen carefully to the answer. If there were no questions addressed to you, tell us briefly about yourself (no more than 30 seconds). Or ask a question that is supposed to be answered personally by the interlocutor. For example: "Where are you from?" You can ask something about the job. After exchanging a couple of replicas, you can proceed to communicate with other people.

 

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