And you do not need to know. You have not had to give me to try

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The first alarming bell, who should alert you - this is a recognition in love almost on the first day of dating. Yes! It was you who he was looking for a lifetime! He is ready to marry you straight this Friday! You do not believe? Oh, how can you doubt it, cruel! And you really will soon stop doubting this, because it will express my feelings overly exaggerated: he will throw you to the Fat Mesms, he will write about how beautiful you are, on our page in social networks, it will constantly hug and kiss you (Even when it is completely inappropriate). He wakes you up inexpensive, but cute gifts, he will take care of you. And it is not surprising that at first it seems to you that you found, finally, the perfect man. But it is not. You found Abuser, Narcissa or Psychopaths. And the bombardment of love is the first hook, which he hooked you.

Total control

He always needs to know where you, with whom and what they are doing there. He will ask the phones and addresses of your girlfriends, parents and the closest relatives. Is it so natural - suddenly something will happen to you? He will know who to report. Or where to search for you. Life is unpredictable thing, right? Then he will start checking what you are busy at home. What do you read, which sites come to what you have in a bedside table. Sooner or later, this situation will lead to the fact that it will begin to control the whole of your life. And then everything. You can't escape, even if you want. You just have no place to hide from him. Actually, and the intention to escape you cannot hide.

Preventive defense

The next stage is the fastening of the image of the "ideal man." You are still in a light euphoria of love, and he is already beginning to tell you what a wonderful guy he is. In advance. Until that time, the first reason you have to think, whether it is good in fact, he will have time to convince you that crystal honesty, decency, kindness and care - the best of its qualities. And you believe. Then, when the manipulator rents his true essence, it will be difficult for you to doubt his words. And you think - maybe it's something wrong with you, and not with him? He is crystally honest, decent, well, and so on.

Projection

But if you still try to doubt his outstanding qualities, then you will face the projection. This is a very simple mechanism: he is cruel? No, you brought him to your disgusting behavior! Did he changed you? Yes, you look at yourself: herself fused and immediately, and now still dare to make complaints! Does he lie to you? Yes, you yourself constantly hide something, and follow him, like a bloodhound! In general, the responsibility for their behavior will put the manipulator on you, and make you be ashamed. Ashamed that you brought to such actions of an excellent person.

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Destructive critics

Now that your self-esteem has suffered, the manipulator will try to break her remnants. He will begin to criticize you, but you can't wait for the constuative criticism. Only destructive. His task - make you feel worthwhile. All your achievements will devalue. Did you get an increase? This is mistaken, of course. You, as a valuable specialist, are trying to lure into another company? You need to ask more money, because there will soon gues how you're not standing. Did you start sports and do not walk workout? Well, right, download the body, with a person, alas, nothing can be done ...

Remaining

The easiest way to tie a loving person to yourself is to push it away. Near. Not that "Everything, we part" - Tirana is terribly losing his victim, and at first he will not be like a risks. Just once you stretch to him to hug or kiss, and he will turn away from you with a squeamish facial expression. And it is most likely to happen in humans, because so you will not have the opportunity to immediately start torturing it for "What happened?". By the time you stay alone, you have time to tell yourself a lot of scenarios - one of the other grimno, and in the end you will decide that something in front of him was guilted. Bingo! You are on the hook. Now you will download you on these emotional swings. Constantly. Having heard of the cruel experiment above the animals? One dog was stroked all the time, the other only beat, and the third was stroking, they beat. And not the second at all, and the third dog quickly flown from the coils. With you will happen the same. This is a wonderful tool that will allow him to break your will.

Depreciation

We have already talked about all your achievements will be impaired with destructive criticism. But that's not all. The manipulator will devalue and your feelings, thoughts and experiences. Your words will deserve and bring to the absurdity. On your emotions, he will mock. Anything your feeling is not important, joy is or grief, "will become a reason to call you with a psychopath and hysteric. Over time, it will be scary at all at least somehow show your will - you will get used to the fact that this will certainly be punished.

Drain

"You yourself are to blame for everything." - Favorite sticking manipulator. He will embarrass you for everything that happens to you, including those episodes of your life in which you were a victim. So he will teach you to be silent about the violence that makes himself. With "normal women" this does not happen, it means you are abnormal, and it is better to be silent about it. And then before the whole world is ashamed for you. But it will be later. At first he will make you be ashamed with the help of indulgent tone and sarcasm. "You are my fool", yeah.

Gossip

The abuser remembers that you, like any normal person, have a support group: parents, friends, close. And he will try to make them, in case of what, did not come to your aid. First of all, he will begin to dissolve gossip about you: you are bad (tantrum, lungy, a fool dashed), he is a good (a wonderful person who is unknown how tolerates you, such a terrible). It will not neglect slander. Your usual, completely normal deeds will be perverted to absurdity and exhibited in negative light. The details of your intimate life will be known to everyone. It is possible that some of the people close to you really turn away from you, because the talented manipulator can manipulate anyone.

Gazlatik

And finally, the manipulator uses the most terrible reception - Gazlating: He will force you to doubt the reality of what is happening. It is the last blow, which will finally choose the soil from under your feet. The manipulator will tell you "You're crazy?! There was no such thing! "," You think "and" You again came up with something and believed it myself. " He will deny the obvious. He will say that you have false memories and you probably need a psychiatrist. And you will start to doubt yourself: Or maybe you really came up with it or just misunderstood? And if the manipulator succeeds in applying this technique to you, breaking from the hook will be very difficult. But, fortunately, you can not allow this, just getting rid of the psychopath from etgo at the stage of bombing with love.

I do not confuse the first to write a message.

I do not confuse the first to write a message. Make the first step. First start talking.

I am not afraid of the first call and ask how you are doing, saying that I missed - and you should know it, because I have already done so much.

But I will not continue to write to you if you continue to ignore me. If you are waiting for 6 hours or even a few days before answering my message. If you give it clear to understand that the conversation with me is not the main thing for you. What do you better do something else than answer me.

I'm tired of waiting when your name will be displayed on the screen. I'm tired of thinking what you are doing instead of talking to me. I'm tired of jumping in place every time I hear the sound of notice, because I hope that you finally answered me.

If you are not going to talk to me or you will send one-step responses to quickly finish the conversation, then I will not bother you with your posts. I will not spend 2 minutes of my time to write you the perfect message.

There is no point in this if you continue to be silent - or if we walk around and around, saying each other is the same as yesterday and the day before yesterday. It is stupid to repeat. It's boring.

I am writing to you, because I really want to talk to you. Because I want to be part of your life. Because I want you to see my name on the screen of your phone and smiled.

But obviously, nothing had nothing, so I surrender.

I stop joking with you, to be friends with you, try to convince you to feel the same as me.

If you do not want to talk to me, then I will not run after you. I do not want to bother you. I will not send you anymore a single message.

I have written you first many times. I already started the conversation in different ways. Now your turn. If you want me in your life, then you have to show me it.

But I doubt it will happen, because you always only supported our conversation. I had to have a long time to understand what you don't care. I had to understand what was deceiving myself, thinking that I like me.

If I really liked you, then you would not allow this "relationship" to be one-sided. You would not make me wait, how I can't make you. You would not allow me to be so upset.

If you were not anyway, then you would even make such a little as the answer to my messages. But if you can't do it even, I will no longer spend your time at you.

You were the exact opposite of whom I was looking for, and, most importantly, you were busy. But you were very necessary for me. I allowed my gambling to take the top - and I went for you, and you caught me on it and did not stop.

Then I did not know that, but I needed to meet you, to understand the importance of being with someone who makes you laugh to get a harsh lesson that I can not always get what I want.

I did not notice how you became my favorite part of the day. Every time we parted, I started to count the hours before our next meeting. We communicated with one just look. It was very difficult not to notice the chemistry that was going on between us, so people asked when we "finally" get married. No one knew that you have a girlfriend, because a) she lived far away, b) you never spoke about her, and c) because I liked you, even though you did not say that.

When you leaving her for the holidays, I prayed every day for you to break with her and decided to be with me. It could not be so right away, but I knew that we had an unreal connection. I dreamed to be yours, introduce you to my family and travel around the world. I am such a fool.

You returned after the new year is still busy. Probably, then I should finish with everything, but we hugged, you kissed me and everything became like before. I fell in love with you. We made love, you played with my hair, listened to me, cared, prepared breakfast, we bathed together, cleaned your teeth, and you drank coffee from my cup. And everyone knew, but no one knew. And before today's day No one except us with you knew that there was between us for the last two years. For some, I have not met, you shook the fruits of my love and attention. You allowed me to play with your hair in the soul, to mive your soft ears and kiss you before bedtime. You allowed me to try you, your body, your soul, and I would lie if I said that I don't miss the days.

I think the saddest moment of parting is how much you can feel like inside you slowly, as if your heart breaks down on the seam. When we said goodbye to the past summer - I felt my heart completely broken. It broke the whole day in that rainy Saturday. It was broken when I landed you from the car. When I sobbing silently went home. When I spent all day in your T-shirt and ordered a pizza from a cafe where I usually go to any weather. It broke every morning and in every plug while I was standing and thought than you are doing now, what you think, and what I need to do to get you back.

I kept your face with my hands, looked straight in my eyes and said that I was crazy about you. I do not regret what I said so - I am honest in front of myself, and they always taught me to share with our own feelings. But you are a coward. Even if you never chose me, you could not definitely choose her. Each of us has its own skeletons in the closet, and I know that I earned my bad karma. You influenced my life and the future so much, but I hardly tell you my future lover about this. You emotionally exhausted me. How could you?

Our friendship has a shelf life, and we know it. It is sadder that only harsh truth is that our relationships - from purely intimate moments to parties in a public place - will not lead to anything good. I wish I never met you. Yes, and you would live easier without me in your life. It is sad.

You are beautiful, but not perfect. Now I know it. I am not innocent, but I am honest. I honestly thought that we had something to do, because I believed that the universe would not be in vain. How could something so magnetic, passionate, such a living will not work? I will never understand it and always will regret that we did not have a chance. I hope you will never forget me.

 

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