Daughter does not want to live with a new wife. Alternative energy and fuel. Daughter brought up my parents, now the child does not want to live with me the daughter does not want to live with me

Good day.
My daughter, 17 years old, is in a serious emotional state. She has no real friends, there is no young man to whom she would like. She says he does not want to live on that there will be nothing good in life. Recently, the mass of the body has become drastically (51 kg, a height of 175 cm) cannot be there. Permanent mood change, often crying. Think about suicide. It is very suffering from isolation from peers, no one wants to communicate with her. He considers himself ugly, stupid. There were several attempts to go with different girls, the difference in the interests did not allow long to communicate for a long time (my daughter does not smoke, does not drink alcohol, it is not interested in gossip and discussion of others, does not tolerate an abnormative vocabulary, reads books, writes poetry, is learning to "excellent"). At the soil hurt at school - there was a suicide attempt. The school psychologist did not work with her - then there is no time, then tomorrow come ... The daughter says that she would like to have at least one person to whom she would not be indifferent (parents are not counting). We have a complete family, I and Father love her very much. I do not know how to help her. The situation worsens every day. It has become often tormented by headaches, drop pressure, bad dreams, panic attacks. There is no psychotherapist in our city. Very help. Bad already all. She has a very heavy year earlier, grade 11, EGE, admission to the university. I tried to talk to her on the topic that everything passes, that there will be a lot of good in life. She does not want to listen, says she does not need anything, no study, nor family and children, no first love. Live not for what. How to change the situation? How to switch it to something else positive?

Answers psychologists

Natalia, good afternoon.

To see like your child such heavy symptoms appear, it is very difficult and scary. It is quite clear that you are trying to switch it, but the whole paradox is that for the beginning, the daughter wants to be understood and accepted in those difficult experiences, which now fill its existence.

Make it to parents are incredibly difficult or even impossible, since most of the problems of the daughter has a root from the family situation in which she grew. I do not mean that you are to blame for something, and the fact is that for example, you are vice versa too excitement and caring where it is excessively, and "blind" where the girl needs support. From within the family system, it is impossible to see the errors of the functioning of the system of your relationship.

Inevitably, with similar symptoms, the help of professional specialists is necessary, and first of all this is a psychiatrist, an endocrinologist (other doctors otherwise) and with them a psychologist. Only after medical examination and appointment of adequate treatment, it is advisable to start working with a psychologist or at least do it at the same time.

It is useless to count on the help of a school psychologist. They have completely different tasks and opportunities, and including competence.

If your city has no psychologist working with similar problems, then your daughter is quite an adult for work on Skype.

I hope I clearly answered your question in detail. If there are more questions, please contact.

Your psychologist, Gestalt therapist. Consultations in St. Petersburg and Skype

Good answer1 Bad answer0

Natalia, hello!

Natalia, honestly, according to what you wrote, I doubt that your daughter will withstand such a psycho-emotional burden of "good girl" "without" bad habits and friends ", an unfortunate child.

Astheno - neurotic syndrome, as an answer of the body for overload, in our time, alas, no longer news. Heavy demands and expectations from parents, the nearest environment, schools, made the life of "excellent behavior" dependent on norms, rules, social time.

Understand me correctly, I do not call for unfastened behavior, just not everyone smoke, well, believe my experience, not all!

Why didn't your girl meet people with the interests of her? Why does the child suffocate from the load, how could this happen at all? Here are the few questions on which there is no answer in your letter.

Discuss it with a girl!

The tutor is easier to live and find decisions, it is easier to rejoice in life, be happy here and now, and not in the distant future, right?

Pepong Long stocking, a book and a film for the whole of your friendly family, with the subsequent discussion of how a wonderful girl managed to find solutions to complex problems https://youtu.be/2vmftgxeptq-kak our desires depend on values? We'll figure it out on the examples of cartoons!

If the girl had a suicide attempt, then the child is registered in the PND, right?

You can safely appeal to a psychotherapist choring doctor.

PSYCHOLOGOLOGIST, PSYCHOLOGY-KINESIOLOGY, COOCH PARENTS OF CHILDREN AND PEOPLE

Good answer1 Bad answer0

Good day!

Natalia, it is important for you to remain in equilibrium. Friendly relationships in the family, with daughter, of course great value. - in balance with yourself and distinguish yourself and other

If you are considering the possibility of psychotherapeutic sessions remotely, suggest your daughter. This term work can give good adaptation experience. Contact.

Yours faithfully,

Alla Kudryashova, support for starting change, adaptation, work on Skype

Good answer1 Bad answer0

Natalia, good afternoon!

See how the child loses interest in life and makes a choice in favor of death, unbearably.

And for your daughter, too, something in her life was unbearably so much that the only way out she saw was to leave life. It seems that she has no adaptation mechanisms. This may indicate some kind of early injury when a child is watching or participating in a situation where the feelings are rapidly, and how he does not know with them, and at this moment is not up to him. And for adults, this situation can be quite normal, but how does the child react to it and why no one knows that. Until time comes to figure it out. And it comes at the moment when the load is psycho-emotional excavation. And it comes from the older classes, when the growing organism is depleted from training loads, among other things.

The presence of such an injury is detected in individual psychological work. I agree with colleagues that a psychiatrist already needs to be connected here and the better the better.

Only here to admit that your child is sick for mother and father is also unbearable. Often, parents are often not addressed to doctors on time, hiding many facts not only from others, but also from themselves. Because it is very scary to look into the future with a sick child.

And therefore, along with the help of children, parents themselves need to help and support.

In its individual work, parents may first of all reduce the significance of those qualities that they attracted during the upbringing of their child, those ideal character traits when a child becomes comfortable, but thanks to which he cannot adapt in normal, not idle life.

When the parent manages to reduce the requirements and learn to trust his children, everything becomes easier.

In your case, psychological work should be done in parallel with you and with my daughter. Joint work can only give a good effect.

Look for a specialist at first for yourself.

Karpova Lyudmila, Psychologist Zelenograd, Moscow

Good answer2 Bad answer0

Good day!

Natalia, your daughter - need help of an intelligent psychologist.

Actually - if a teenager cannot figure out with some subject - then agree with the tutor. If he cannot deal with himself and with the relationship with others - the same regular work is needed, only unlike the tutor-subject I am preparing "to the most important exam" - for life. In regular meetings, we discuss various situations, experiences, we think, as we understand and correctly enter a situation in one way or another.

The daughter says that she would like to have at least one person to whom she would not be indifferent (parents are not counting).

In fact, this is a "request for psychotherapy," and I just speaking for a teenager as such a person. Come, the primary consultation is carried out as a rule in a collaborative family format, then work goes with a teenager and what we are discussing - on my part cannot be carried out for the door of the Cabinet. But sometimes at this age, teenagers initially come to me on their own, without parents, according to the preliminary agreement with me.

Offer your daughter such an option, come to your advice!

The main thing is not to give it to fall into a deep depressive pit, on the edge of which it is already - because later it is very hard and very hard to dig up, sometimes it becomes "a problem for the rest of my life."

Good luck to you!

Petr Yurevich Liziaev, psychologist-psychotherapist
Family consultations / psychotherapy in Moscow - individually and in the group, as well as on Skype.

Good answer4 Bad answer1

She is 11.
When I was pregnant, I was happy, more than ever in my life.

After birth, everything became very difficult for me. For her, Mom's husband entered into battle. She wanted to give the girl all her huge love, and I prevented her. The year of life with a newborn girl in her apartment was horrified for me. I was not ready for this, weak and mother-in-law won the top. She snatched a girl from my hands, with a disgust poured food, that I cook for her, I used the stories that I had a bad milk, guarding at night at the door to carry a girl to myself when she had to pay. I hated my mother-in-law, herself alone from the girl.

Then I needed to go to work and I gave the slack and did not take a nanny, but left my daughter in the mother-in-law. Husband said that mom would die if we proceed otherwise.

The girl grew, batheing in the huge love of mother-in-law and loved her grandmother with all his heart. I loved so that I did not want to go to my house evenings. (I already lived in another apartment). Every time I tried to pick her up my hysteria happened. I hated her in these moments, for rejecting my love.

I gave birth to a second child, in an attempt to combine our family around me and took my daughter myself. But the mother-in-law drove me out on the street when I walked with children with cakes and sweets and smeared my daughter to myself. If I tried not to let, my daughter rode on the ground and cried.

A more than a couple of years have passed, I became interesting for my daughter, she agreed to spend time with me, but I began to cover the attacks of rabies against her. I could tell her an offensive word ("Dores Forevoye", "Stupil) and cut in a petition. (Then she asked for forgiveness and she was always allowed to embed it in response and defend himself). Sometimes the daughter lived with me for months, and sometimes she asked for grandmother And I let go.

I could become strong with my mother-in-law, to do as needed to me, and not she was no longer angry at her. We got more interesting with my daughter, but all spoiled my monstrous seizures of anger, aimed at daughter.
We had a minute with her, filled with tenderness and love and there were nightmares when I crossed her.

I began to fight with myself to no longer offend my daughter. I changed. But as I did not change, I could never catch up with my grandmother in the energeticness of her love and in her willingness to serve my daughter and day, and at night. My daughter was interested in spending time with me, but she again became more common to ask to stay at her grandmother.

Over the past 7 months, I managed to establish a lot. I took possession of myself. Sometimes there were breakdown, but I shouted in the air, and not in my daughter. I completely became ready to be with my daughter and day, and night and wanted it like never. But the daughter again began to spend sharply from me. She uses any pretext to be with a grandmother. In my apartment she starts headaches, insomnia, pain in the stomach. She comes with a mournful face and speaks with me grandmother's words about how I feel bad.

In one such conversation - the strength left me sharply. The constructive disappeared from the head, only the desire remains to be allowed. I lived all my life with an indifferent mother and came out because of this crazy. And again, I overtake me indifference from one of the most close people to me. Yes. Even dislike. I feel that the daughter is unpleasant.
And I am destroyed from it, as the mom collapsed from indifference. And I still have to grow my son.

I let me go daughter? Because I am guilty before the days, for the fact that it was wrong offended her? Because weakly and lost the mother-in-law. Because with her grandmother she is better, cozy and calmer than with me. I demand, Tall through Lena Forward, snatched, and grandmother just loves her to breathe.
Let her live at her grandmother to his peroleties, and then I will post her in a separate apartment and she will have the opportunity to not be with me.? So it will be better for her, right?
Epilogue 2015: Since I still meet a link to the post as an example of unconditional misfortune, I will write that the trouble is in the past.
With daughter, mother-in-law - joyful and warm relationships. At my birthday, the daughter said that he was happy that she had such a cool mom. Although probably still I am more elder than mom.
It is difficult for me to systematize how everyone recovered, so that this could help someone. But I'll try:
- stopped sorry for oneself
-Op lost daughter and allowed her to be where she was good
- Required to be offended by the mother-in-law, translated the relationship with her in a friendly tearing over our unresoluteness
- has a big deal, where he sent his aggression and harder to hurt, surprised the daughter the result
- I had to humble myself for love for those who love.

Recording №2624.

Reading held Kairat and Valentina Kinibaev.

Session duration 1 hour 44 minutes.

A man, Kazakhstan (reading spent on Skype).

Q. What is his spine?

O. There are problems in the cervical and lumbar spine. There are minor changes in the thoracic department. Osteochondrosis in the cervical and thoracic department, in the area 3 of the vertebra of the lumbar department. There is right-sided protrusion.

Making a massage of the whole back with honey and mumina. After this procedure, you can confuse the problem areas with fir oil, and then wash off the remnants. It removes inflammation, enhances blood circulation and the effect of massage.

Digging. The fibrous ring is whole, it did not burst - it is a protrusion. Be sure to do exercises and cryotherapy - short-term exposure to cold, such as cold water. Each city has a center of Bubnovsky. You need to visit within 1 month to know with what load and what exercises to do for certain muscle groups, how to breathe correctly. After that, you can house the simulator and work the muscles at home.

It is necessary to strengthen the muscles of the back. Physical exercises contribute to the washing of lactic acid, which is formed in the muscles surrounding the spine and cause pain. It is not peace - and the movement is necessary to cope with this problem. To solve this task, an average of 1.5-2 years of regular intensive occupations.

Contributes to relaxation, circulation of energy by body and spinal column, the practice of retracting energy through legs. Impact on thin bodies contributes to the fastest result. Make the type of quantum touch, and be sure to accompany the visualization, as the energy twists the spiral and healing the body. When this is done, warmth will physically felt.

Q. First, there is a cold, and then the heat appears?

Oh yeah. Practice to master is very easy, and he will succeed.

Q. What does he have for problems with the spine?

O. Osteochondrosis in the Shainian and Breast Department, age-related changes.

Q. Can I apply a recipe with a laurel sheet 1 time in 3 months?

Q. And doing yogovskaya exercises like the Renaissance Oco?

Oh yeah. Spine needs to stretch. The easiest option is to hang on the horizontal bar several times a day for a few seconds.

B. Status of the joints.

A. There is a simple and effective way to help cope with a variety of problems. Massage with peanut butter. Purchase cream with grassland grain. You can also have courses 1 time in 3 months to undergo the organism, using soda in small quantities, a rate from 14 to 21 days, 14 times a day.

For the joints it is useful to sit down on a high chair and just chat with your feet. The articular gymnastics is the movements that the body itself wants. Hands as a whip, legs are completely free. For hands and shoulder belts exercises are made sitting, for legs and stop - sitting on a high surface. It is also a good emotional discharge, helps to remove stress.

The diet must be present products, which contains a lot of sulfur, which contributes to the production of collagen and elastin. For example, use any types of legumes. Take dietary supplements, especially in the periods of avitaminosis, since vitamins A and C are needed, the immune system. Apply complexes of vitamins of group V.

V. GOOD SYSTEM.

A. Problems are associated with the spine. He has to move a lot, ride the car. This is an unnatural position for the spine and for the urogenital system. The body is not in physiological position. Constant manifestations are formed, which affects the foot cramp at night. Stagnation in the organs of a small pelvis, there is a defeat of an infectious nature. There is a prostatitis, which is exacerbated in the spring and autumn, 1-2 times a year.

Waking up in the morning, perform exercises that improve blood circulation. Pour palms to the state of light heat, obscure each finger first on the right, and then on the left hand. Then rub the palms, thoroughly rub both ears, obscure the ears of the sinks around the perimeter. Put a tight palm to the ears, and sharply tear the palms from the ears. Sometimes there may be not very pleasant sensations. But the data of the exercises are useful for the ear itself and for the circulatory system, it normalizes the pressure. After that, the Cat exercise, obscure the crotch for 2-3 minutes.

Q. How to massage the crotch?

O. Between the anus and the scrotum there is a body area that needs to massage.

V. Finger to make circular movements?

Oh yeah. And make ordinary antimostattomes. Useful recipe - the use of non-fried pumpkin seeds scrolled through the meat grinder, mixed with honey, in the form of rolled balls, room temperature.

B. He is allergic to honey.

O. Daily rate is the use of 30 pumpkin seeds. They are rich in zinc, which are needed for the male genital sphere.

You can use the tincture of the kora of the aspen. 100 grams of bark pour 200 ml of vodka to cover the entire bark. Insist for 10 days in a dark place, periodically shaking. Strain and take 20 drops by adding a glass of water to ¼. 2-3 times a day half an hour before meals. Course - all the resulting volume. After a month, the course of the course repeat again.

In the diet should be celery. For male health, a salad of tomatoes, greenery, celery is useful. Olive oil can be insteaded on celery roots. Lay in a jar with celery butter, and store it in the refrigerator. Such oil fill the salad. Use walnuts, cedar nuts, pistachios.

B. Watch the whole urinary system, along with the kidneys.

O. Blood, vessels, kidneys. Blood is thicker norms, there is a large burden on the kidneys, which creates an increased blood pressure. It is important to drink enough water.

Recommendation that will help solve many problems with pressure, vessels, joints, kidneys and liver. Take a 1,5l plastic bottle, make an 8 mm hole at the bottom. Sit and breathe in a bottle, with the nose you need to hold. Breathing for 15-20 minutes. If there is a need to block saliva, you need to free your nose for this, and then breathe again. Thus, carbon dioxide accumulates, due to which the vessels are expanding naturally, while the pressure is reduced. As after good physical activity, the vessels begin to expand, and the pressure drops naturally. This accelerates metabolic processes in the body, which helps to reduce excess weight. Carbon dioxide formed in the blood is the condition that displays inorganic education in organs. Gradually cleans the liver, kidneys from the concrections and slags of inorganic origin. Manifestations with joints are gradually going to no. Do this everyday life within 15-20 minutes, while you can watch TV. If there are problems, you can make visualization. Do it only in the sitting position. You can start with 5 minutes, gradually increasing time. This is a simple and effective breathing simulator.

O. Recipe with a plug, wheat decoction.

W. In the kidneys there are stones or sand?

O. Sand is in both kidneys.

Q. What should he do?

O. Drink Wheat Broth. Drinking in a period of 5 to 7 pm - the time of the greatest efficiency of the kidneys. The most effective kidneys from the end of August to December. All procedures associated with the purification of the kidneys are for better recovery effects to do better during this period. The berry of the cranberries, which has bactericidal properties, can be added to the millet porridge. Such a recipe for a month to eat in the morning, it cleans the kidneys, even crushes stones.

B. He has in the area just below the hernia navel. Give recommendations.

A. The problem is associated with the intestines. You need to take a good high-quality copper - either yellow, or white, but better than ordinary copper, like old copper pines. Apply for 2-3 hours, fasten the plaster. You can use the same plate, just after each application you need to rinse with running water.

You can apply any clay, assembled away from industrial enterprises and roads. Make clay appliques appliques for a well-known recipe. If possible, use every day.

B. See the liver condition.

A. The liver has changes associated with fat exchange - fatty hepatosis. Cholecystitis is not yet, but it can be thicker, which can later lead to problems. We need light yellow meals, herbs. It may be liver films. Use buckwheat, 100 grams of low-fat cottage cheese per day, rosehip, bran. We need vitamins of groups in: B1, B6, B12. Take hepatoprotectors like hepadiv, pobaox.

Put a strong tea and coffee from the diet, it is better to drink leaf green tea. Smaller use fat fried. It is necessary to stimulate the work of the gulb bubble so that he threw the horizontal in the intestine so that there is no stagnation. This contributes to the use of black cumin oil in the morning on an empty stomach 40 minutes before meals. You can alternate with olive and flaxseed oil.

B. Look at his condition of the lungs.

A. He has no serious problems.

Q. Does he have a clean lymphosystem?

O. Lymphosystem can not be pure even a child.

B. There are people who are completely clogged, and no longer works.

A. He has no serious problems. Naturally, cleansing and stimulation are needed.

Q. What's better to clean the lymphosystem? She gives him a failure.

O. The optimal option is the use of oats decoction within 2-3 months.

V. either a coral club lymphogon?

Oh yeah. The breathing method in the bottle will improve the work of the lungs.

V. He wants to make vision correction. Does it need him?

A. It is possible to improve the quality of vision without correction. This is facilitated by the exercises that train eye muscles - transverse and longitudinal. Blinking through eyes, watch diagonally, make circular movements. Periodically, you need to give to relax my eyes, closing their palms. Make breathing through the eyes. Training the focus of view, stick point on the window, and focus on distant items, then at the point. All methods work, but they need for a long time.

B. He does not hear the left ear. Is it possible to restore the hearing?

A. This is a long-standing problem - the consequences of a cold, acute otitis.

B. It happened on the hunt. After the shooting began to ring, rushed to be treated in a week, but it was too late. It can be fixed?

A. Making breathing exercises with a bottle. Wash the nasophal with warm salt water, it helps to exacerbate hearing, vision, smell. You can use the tincture of propolis, in which a large number of macro and trace elements. 30% of the propolis tincture is taken, or make independently. Mix with any vegetable oil. The oil must be disinfected. Take metal dishes, pour a large amount of oil, put on a water bath, and boil for 30-40 minutes. Mix with tincture from the calculation 1 part of the tincture - 4 parts of the oil. Making Turangums from Bandage and insert 12 hours in the ear. So come within 2 weeks. Then take a break for 2 weeks, and repeat the course again.

V. He wants to restore his hair and their delicate. There is a possibility?

O. Hair bulbs are already lost. It is possible to restore only a surgical way. You can strengthen the hair bulbs, improving blood circulation. Take a massage soft discourse, and take 100 massaging movements. Lock the tincture of red burning pepper before washing the head. Make masks using yolk and brandy, also rub before washing your head. On this occasion, men do not worry. It is only a personal perception, but no defect. This requires easily.

V. He lives with a woman. What is she for a person?

A. Energetic, active, sociable, sometimes gambling. Emotional and hot, capable of desperate actions. It will not be offended by his loved ones. Can quickly navigate, solve problems. Not an easy character, which is associated with education and traditions, although in the soul she is a desperate woman. It is difficult to argue with it: irrevocable and principled in certain matters.

Sometimes solutions can be spontaneously, leaving gusting, emotions. But the hotness passes, it cools, and if it was not right, he may ask for forgiveness. If disputes and conflicts are taking place, she tries that everything is solved quickly. He does not like the resentment for a long time, so if the problem arose, it is better to solve it immediately. It always tries to figure out what's the point, and then calm down. Prying nature.

Q. Marata can have a union with Catherine? He marries her?

A. It is possible to interact. If you create a family, then it will strive to take control of all aspects of life. She is a flexible person can adapt. She is inherent in the desire to dictate its conditions, seek her. Conflicts with Marat are possible on the basis of this. They can adjust each other. Another question is as far as Anna can take it. It may be between two lights. If you create a family, the voltage may occur quickly. Catherine is not very compatible with Anna.

Q. Is it worth creating a family? If it is worth how to establish relationships?

A. The question is incorrect. The union will not be completely successful, conflicts and adjustments will be inevitable. Marat can rebuild himself and remake, and Catherine does not want to change. They could take each other, but a big question - with Anna.

Q. How to learn to interact?

O. More efforts should be attached to Catherine to establish contact with Anna. She needs to take. Anna is not an easy character. Pouring into the family, it is important to establish contact. Adult man is more wise and flexible. Marat needs to show love and care for her daughter, so that she does not feel forgotten and abandoned. Giving her to understand that he also has the right to happiness. It is necessary to keep neutrality towards Catherine and Anna. Follow the principles of justice. If sharp situations appear, try to bring them together so that they themselves solve these problems.

V. They will be hard. Can you talk to Catherine so that she showed an understanding that Anna has a difficult period now?

A. She understands everything and takes. Now the position is smooth and calm. But it is about the fact that if there is a family, a joint accommodation.

V. Anna will live separately.

Oh. In this case, the Union is quite possible. It is necessary to avoid skirmishes and collisions that are possible when a joint stay.

V. Union is possible?

Q. What advice on relationships?

O. Marat understands that Catherine is assertive and demanding. He is the owner, the house is important for him, his own focus. He likes to patronize and take care. Like a husband, he will show many moments that a woman needs. He brings everything to the house for the family. The main thing is not to let yourself go on the neck. You need to be able to delay in time, naturally, to do it gently. Such relationships are to build from the very beginning. Catherine has an assertiveness, so such a moment must be adjusted immediately.

V. Marat transferred money to the company on the Forex Stock Exchange. Will the company work stably for 5-7 years?

O. No, you need to be careful. There is a big probability to fire. The company will exist very long. If you can withdraw money, it needs to be done.

V. For Forex, many intermediaries operate 2-3 years old, and when they collect big money, go.

O. Impair the volume, and then wrapped. This is a pyramid that works on the same scheme.

V. Money definitely output?

Q. Do not invest?

Q. How long will the virtual money exist ...?

O. After 6-7 months, it will end, in early 2015.

V. Marat wants to process tires and plastic by the method of prolism, as well as producing equipment. Is it worth doing this?

Q. If he creates an enterprise, will it be profitable and stable?

Q. How many years do you need to promote?

O. We need time to introduce and development. This niche needs to occupy as quickly as possible. The direction will develop intensively. So that it has improved and brought stable profits, you will need more than 2 years. And then the market will be compacted, competition will grow.

There is an inner need for this, because it is a kind of sanitary cleaning, it is real help to people globally. This direction actively begins to develop, and will continue to develop as intense. It needs it, he will experience satisfaction, he has a desire to do this, this is his business.

B. He is interested in alternative energy and alternative fuel. In what direction to work to get the result and implemented in business? Should he go in this direction?

A. This is a prospect for the future. Now this is difficult to implement. This sphere will develop, but now it will be done problematic. It needs to be developed, it takes time. Now the business can stall, it will be difficult to promote.

Q. In what direction to act? Fuel and energy?

Oh yeah. Now it will be difficult to advance to become profitable. It is not necessary to approach this in the near future, but to work for the future - to be interested in, collecting information, structuring it. There must be gradual development, because there is a risk share.

Q. He should do another business to achieve a good result?

O. Marat attract serious projects. Small and medium should join a large business. Its activity should be conjugate with production, mining or processing. It should be a serious and time-consuming process. There he would have occupied his niche. Disposal, processing is a direction where he should move. Possible option for purchases of equipment for industrial enterprises, plants, serious and volumetric. It will be in force to him, and will bring satisfaction. Purely male serious work in which he will feel normal. For its own development, self-esteem, self-affirmation.

Q. Did he advise a specific direction? What equipment and where to supply?

O. Agricultural machinery, spare parts. He has a good connection with Earth, so everything that somehow concerns it, he can develop and promote. Everything that is connected directly or indirectly from the earth is it.

B. He has a debtor. Does he ever return his debt?

B. He has doubts about the seminar for Anna. Does she need to be at the seminar or not?

O. If it actively expresses a desire to go to the seminar, you need to talk to Kairatov that she wants to get as a result, what would like to learn, or from what to get rid of. She should have a clear intention, she must realize what she needs. She has a desire to communicate with a group of people with whom she will be comfortable. If it is to protect it, it may have a hidden unsecured aggression. It is useful for some practices related to relaxation, internal self-control, and some do not fit it. ExtrasenSorika, channeling - it is not necessary for her now, it needs to be dedicated.

Q. When will it pass, she needs to say that it is too early for her? And the transcean state can study if he wants?

Oh yeah. It is necessary to clearly determine what she wants, and what it is impossible.

Q. Shift to her yet?

Oh no. She is smart and rational girl, so it is not necessary for her.


If you notice a spelling error, please highlight it with the mouse and click Ctrl + Enter..

Good morning. I appeal to the advice. I am almost 23 years old. I have long been meeting with a young man and the last few months (3-4) we live threesome with my mom. We have long decided to live separately as soon as finances and a couple of days ago they said about this decision Mom. Her reaction was a surprise for me.
Retreat: I am the only and late child in the family, my mother lives for a long time without a man, almost all my life we \u200b\u200blived in threesome (I, Mom, Grandma), 2 years ago Grandma died. With my mother, the relationship was always good, she always says that with me, even in adolescence, there were no problems. I always try to help her, even when it is in a burden. She is a few months on pensions (fired to reduce).
Learning the news of our move, she just went offended. In the morning of the second day, she was in tears (which is soooo rarely) approached me and in the colors described that she was a lonely woman, asked not to leave one. She said that with our relocation her life will end and in general its meaning is lost. My arguments that we do not throw it that we are a young couple and want to build our home and our family together, she answered about the following: "Why can not live all his life together. Everyone lives by families under the same roof perfectly. Is it really not Rights to live your life with your children. Why do I have to wake up in the morning. That is, you will leave and you will build your house on a green meadow, and I will die alone in the apartment ... "
I tried to explain to her that around a lot of opportunities to entertain himself that now she lives our lives and that we will not be happy here. I called her arguments with selfish, to which she was meaningfully noticed: "It is clear, now the request of mercy is older egoism." (It is incomplete 58 at the same time).
Now we just do not speak, she made us enemies of the people. My young man now traitors. I understand the mind that it is manipulations, but the soul hurts.
In general, I tried to describe the situation and ask the Council. How to break through the wall of prejudice and misunderstanding. How to move with a calm soul, knowing that my mother is bad. Thanks in advance for the answer.

13 Mar 2017.

Xuxun.

Olesya Verevkin

Xuxun, a psychologist commenimizes the topic after a while.
In the section of our forum, there are many wonderful articles. If time allows, you can look into it, perhaps some information will be useful.

13 Mar 2017.

Hello, I can talk.

Xuxun, you describe situations that are often experiencing single women raising a child.

I understand the mind that it is manipulations, but the soul hurts.

Click to reveal ...

Yes, you can experience sadness and excitement about mom.
I suggest you take a look somewhat differently on what is happening.
Let's "enter" in my mother's position: she is used to being with you nearby, give and get care. She made you the meaning of his life. It was her choice, and you have no one to do with him. With your leaving you deprive her of your important needs. It is a fact. But the mother has the right to experience sadness and pain, these changes are painfully experiencing. She needs to give time. Any feeling, even the most unpleasant, once ends or becomes easier. Total: Mom has the right to his sad feelings. You can sympathize with her (that is, to respond to her feelings), regret. Talk about your feelings.
But - to build your life as you want to live separately - this is your right. You even may help you begin to think about your life, about your desires. You can tell my mother that you will help her, sometimes spend time. But you want to create your family. And you are important to her support.
Outcome: Mom has the right to be sad and experience painting, you can sympathize with it. Confirm your love care and attention. But build your life as you wish. And to say mom about it, "I am important to me ..."

13 Mar 2017.

Hello. Thanks for the answer.
But I do not even know how to convey my arguments before it. She just does not hear me. Does not understand why it is impossible together. Why you can not build a family in "our" house. I told her all that she calls for pity and debt or meaningfully: "Well, yes, I will wake up every day crying, talking only with a dog and dying lonely" ...
And yet ... as moving, finding the balance, in which we will be fine and your mother is not lonely ...

13 Mar 2017.

Xuxun.

Mom has the right to not understand, do not want, not desire. This is her right. But this is not a reason you do the way she wants. Confirm her right to desire what she wants. "Yes, mom, you want me to be with you next. You have the right to want. I see that you are sad ... I sympathize with you. But I want to build my family relationships separately. We decided so we want so much This is our choice. "
And stop all conversations with your mother in which she starts to solve for you.
Ask how it will be easier for her to worry about the road? Calls in the morning and in the evening; 1 time a week Joint tea drinking; Go together in the weekend to the store? And agree that you yourself will be comfortable, what are you ready for. You have the right to say no. Let her know that you are willing to take care of her, but it does not concern your family life. Here is taboo!
If mom makes a choice to die cry - it is very sad, but this is her own choice. She can make another choice.

13 Mar 2017.

Thank you very much for advice. I will try.

Olga, hello. I now have the impression that my relationship with my mother is irretrievably destroyed. She considers me a traitor and speaks through his teeth. It is very hard for me to communicate with her, rather I don't even want to do this. I try to talk to her calmly, but it is very difficult. I am afraid that our relationship never will be applied. I do not even know how to behave with it. I can't quit her either. Maybe something can advise something. Thank you tremendous in advance.

13 Mar 2017.

Xuxun.

Xuxun, good evening.

my relationship with my mother was broken irretrievably

Click to reveal ...

If you are hard with my mother, and mom experiences a pain of separation - this does not mean that the relationship is destroyed. They live "hard times."
Answer the questions:
1. If you do not take the situation of your difficult relationship now, how do you feel about your mom. In general ... what qualities are your mom who like you, you are proud, respect ...
2. What is for you - moving from mom? Why do you need it, why?
3. What relationship do you want with mom? Are you to her, her - to you, to your young family?

Communicating with my mother, what is important not to do! - Do not justify, do not condemn, not blame, do not give advice, not to read notations.
Let's create messages to mom you will stick to!

It is very hard for me to communicate with her, rather I don't even want to do this. I try to talk to her calmly, but it is very difficult. I am afraid that our relationship never will be applied. I do not even know how to behave with it. I can't quit her either.

Click to reveal ...

Based on your text, you can make the next appeal to mom: "Mom, I am very hard to communicate with you now, I often don't even want to do this. But I am sure that we can overcome the difficulties of the road, because we love and respect each other. After all, I I know you like ... (answers to 1 question). It is important for me to live separately with my family, because ... (answer to 2 question) and this does not mean that I do not like you and I will not care. I want you to Our relationship was ... (answer to 3 questions).

Read it yourself, "Make your own", filling with your feelings and experiences. And stick. It is important to show mom calm, hardness. It will help her survive separation.

considers me a traitor and speaks through his teeth

Click to reveal ...

Just be a translator of the words Mom "Mom you are hard, you're angry." And that's it. Mom has the right to express his feelings, it simply uses other expressions.

25 Mar 2017.

Thank you very much for the advice.

25 Mar 2017.

, Children from the first marriage

Good afternoon, tell me how to solve the issue in the family associated with my daughter and my husband. I got married a year ago, we observe. My daughter is 10 years old, my husband with my daughter complex relationships. He cannot find a common language with her, constantly makes her comments, she tries to fulfill everything and correct their actions by which the husband makes specific comments. The child does not want to live in our family, she cries often because of the dislike of my husband. My husband has children in the first marriage, and the youngest one is daughter. He shows warmth and says that, since she is far from me, I show warmth. What should I do? This situation glows and violates shoe byte (family in the family). Thank you. N.

Postpone postpone Subscribe You are signed

If a person changes the surname with a living father - is it a sin?

Rav Yakov Shub

He is with a mom for a long time in a divorce ...

Ravoy Boruh Cooperman

Rav Levy Gdaleich

Biography of Rava Boruch Cooperman (interview with his daughter Charitan)

 

Perhaps it will be useful to read: