Worst group in the world. Canadians are offended? (Nickelback is the worst band in the world)

04/12/2009 11:49
British music magazine The Word ran a vote to determine the worst bands of all time. The first place in the anti-rating was taken by the Canadian superstars Nickelback.
Nickelback, who play in post-grunge style, have sold 30 million albums during their careers and were nominated for Grammy five times. However, this did not help them: in voting The Word they collected almost 20% of the vote, far ahead of their closest pursuer - the British pop duo Lighthouse family, which broke up in 2003.

In general, the top 20 turned out to be quite old-fashioned - it included such groups as Spin Doctors, Savage Garden and The troggs... However, there are also fresh stars of rock music in it, in particular Snow patrol and Maroon 5.

“Just in case, we add that we regret not being shortlisted Chumbawumba, Scouting For Girls and The cranberries", - the representatives of the The Word.

Worst bands of all time:
1. Nickelback - 19.8%;
2. Lighthouse Family - 14.3%;
3. Toploader - 11.8%;
4. Razorlight - 9.8%;
5. Savage Garden - 8.4%;
6. M People - 7.5%;
7. Maroon 5 - 6.6%;
8. 4 Non Blondes - 5.5%;
9. Snow Patrol - 5.2%;
10. Spin Doctors - 3.6%;
11-12. Beautiful South - 2.0%;
11-12. Sleeper - 2.0%;
13. New Radicals - 1.1%;
14-15. Lighting Seeds - 0.9%;
14-15. The Troggs - 0.9%;
16. Crowded House - 0.5%.

* It is worth noting in advance that the survey had no answer options, the respondents were asked to name the worst group on their own.

Nickelback is the worst group in the world. Canadian rockers Nickelback were named the "worst band in the world." This "honor" was given to the musicians by the readers of the famous British magazine "Word Magazine". Almost 20% of users voted for Nickelback.
This is not the first such "award" in Nickelback's piggy bank - earlier the team was already recognized as "the most unpleasant band in the world", and personally Chad Kroeger - "the ugliest frontman".
The Lighthouse Family took the second place in the “shameful” list of “Word Magazine”, while the now defunct Brit-pop team Toploader became the bronze medalist.

The representatives of the American nation also got it - in the ten worst were Maroon 5 (7th place), 4 Non Blondes (8th) and Spin Doctors (10th).
World's Worst Bands According to Word Magazine:

1. Nickelback - 19.8%

2. Lighthouse Family - 14.3%


3. Toploader - 11.8%


4. Razorlight - 9.8%


5. Savage Garden - 8.4%


6. M People - 7.5%



8.4 Non Blondes - 5.5%


9. Snow Patrol - 5.2%


10. Spin Doctors - 3.6%


Nevertheless, the very "bad" music, which is so ardently despised, still continue to listen. Somehow, the clips are gaining an exorbitant number of views with nine zeros, and in any taxi we will hear jamming tracks on the radio and for another half hour we will sing “Your beloved name” or “Rockabye baby, don’t you cry” against our will.

The secret is simple - the melody and words sticking in the brain. Recently, this phenomenon even scientists: among the characteristic features of obsessive songs - a fast pace and sharp changes in key. Let's add on our own: for viral music videos, the main thing is the most unpretentious storyline, more naked body parts and the same fast pace.

As a result, the clips gain hundreds of millions of views, and the tracks remain at the first positions of the charts, until even their fans become allergic to the first notes. We have collected the most typical examples of performers from the category “Music lovers hate, competitors are jealous, and the caravan moves on”. Perhaps you did not know the names of many of them, but you definitely heard these voices. Beware, the tracks below have a humming effect, and from hate to love - one clip.

Chainsmokers

Two nice American guys, Alex Poll and Drew Taggart, are remembered by the international audience mainly for two songs. The first and debut #SELFIE was released in January 2014 and immediately went viral: the YouTube counter now shows about half a billion views. The club track is full of comments from typical party girls, male voices and vocals are not heard there at all. Now Alex and Drew say that they released the video as a joke - satire addressed to the club girls - and they did not expect such a success. Then they showed the world a couple of EPs, but there is still no full-length album - the release is scheduled for April.

Not all of the tracks were as viral: the second big hit came with the release of "Closer" with Halsey. The video collected 1.3 billion views on YouTube, and the track topped the Billboard Hot 100 chart for 12 weeks in a row. We all know what usually happens after such rapid climbs, but while the guys bought themselves a luxurious mansion in Los Angeles, it is not always successful to joke and make excuses to haters.

They do not like them at once for several reasons: for the image of pretentious gouges who love only themselves, for the same type of music without a hint of individuality and for star fever. They allow themselves to criticize Lady Gaga, do not hide their love for alcohol and brag about the size of their genitals. Billboard published an article about them last year that explains everything more clearly.

It is not surprising that this year the Chainsmokers became contenders for the title of the worst group according to the NME version, however, they lost the honorary award to their colleagues 5 Seconds Of Summer. But it's not all bad - the new collaboration with Coldplay "Something Just Like This" definitely deserves attention.

5 Seconds Of Summer

NME's Worst Band of the Year has been honored for three years in a row, but has been getting too many views on YouTube and being snapped up on iTunes like hotcakes. Their style is closest to teenage pop-rock, and this is logical - all members of the group were born between 1994 and 1996. The 18-year-olds at that time began their journey with the opening act for One Direction - they took them with them on a world tour in 2013. After its completion, “5 Seconds of Summer” released its debut single “She Looks So Perfect” (the clip was watched 200 million times), a little later - the first album of the same name with the group itself.

Then things got worse musically, and that's why novice rockers are so disliked. It is quite difficult to even listen to fresh songs of the same type - try to hold out, for example, until the end of “She Looks So Perfect”. But with all this, the army of the group's fans is growing by leaps and bounds, 5 Seconds Of Summer continue to win nominations for the Teen Choice Awards, MTV Europe Music Awards and, apparently, they do not plan to leave the screens. Schoolgirls fall in love with frontman Luke Hammings, we continue to be amazed at their popularity without visible talents, and the caravan goes on.

Twenty one pilots

Almost everyone has heard about these guys, unlike the previous two groups. You can simply not listen to them, consider them the best duet in the Universe, or hate them with all your heart, but Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun definitely have several good hits. They were not immediately noticed: the debut album was released back in 2009, and success came much later - in 2014-2015. 2015 saw the release of Blurryface's album, which peaked at number one on the Billboard 200, and the super-successful video for the song “Stressed Out,” which has now gained about 900 million views. This year the guys received a Grammy for her. If you somehow missed this track, then you definitely heard “Heathens” from “Suicide Squad”.

They do not like them, first of all, not for their behavior or image, but for not the highest quality and sublime music close to rock. "Pilots" were included in the NME-list of nominees for the title of the worst group, which only confirms their dislike. But here's a story about something else: if both 5 Seconds Of Summer and Chainsmokers live performance look more than unconvincing, then Tyler and Joseph have a lot to learn. Their shows are top notch. The guys give their best, doing acrobatic sketches and putting the crowd on their ears almost in the literal sense of the word.

Fifth Harmony

The American girl band formed in 2012 on the X Factor show, but the breakthrough came only in 2015. Then their first album Reflection came out, which peaked at No. 5 on the Billboard 200. Their main single, which you have obviously heard somewhere, is “Worth It”, recorded with rapper Kid Ink. Not singing along and shaking your head to the beat to "Give it to me, I'm worth it" is impossible by definition, but at the same time both the track and the clip are primitive to the point of indecency. Another such example is the track “Work from Home” and a clip with caricatured sexy builders and band members in shorts and helmets. Nevertheless, both videos gained almost one and a half billion views, and the singles hit the first lines on the Billboard Hot 100 and went platinum.

Believe it or not, the girls even sang at the White House at the Christmas tree back in 2014, and also received the "Group of the Year" award at the Billboard Women in Music ceremony in 2015. They do not like them, of course, for their music, tasteless images and music videos that are close to vulgar. But to dare to dance in front of a mirror under “Worth It” is a guilty pleasure for many, which they don't admit to anyone.

Clean bandit

Another soap bubble is British electro band Clean Bandit, the author of those haunting lines from Rockabye. They were born back in 2009, but their first notable hit "A + E" came out in 2012. Then the guys disappeared for a while, and then resurrected with their debut, not too outstanding album. In 2014, another hit "Rather Be" was released, hitting # 1 on the UK Singles Chart and later earning a Grammy. In 2014, the group was invited to the Glastonbury festival, in 2015 - to Coachella, but many still did not know about them until last fall. Then came "Rockabye" - the track settled on the first line of the UK Singles Chart, the video collected half a billion views on YouTube in four months. For what they are so disliked, it is clear from the description of Clean Bandit in the nomination for the worst group according to NME: “For several years the group, fortunately, was not heard, but now they decided to return with a song that sounds like any other pop song ... Sadly, the formula worked. "

Reasoning on the topic: Why is Nickelback the worst thing that has happened to humanity?

I remember that I first heard Nickelback about ten years ago, and I still clearly remember my thoughts on this matter: “Wow, this will never be popular at all,” - however, this is probably why I will never go to work for exchange. These Canadian fellows are selling so many albums that no classic heavy metal band has ever dreamed of - and you know what? I just go crazy with anger when I think about this act of life's injustice. Even then, back in 2006, I realized that this is the worst thing that has appeared in rock music for its entire existence. Why? Let's figure it out, starting with the most basic points and ending with the most important ones.

At first. How do you like the name? Don't you feel like punching your forehead and screaming that you haven't heard anything worse in your life? Oh, have you just thought about it? Let me tell you. The bottom line is that if you go to a Canadian coffee shop and order a cappuccino there, then you are unlikely to scrape together the exact cost of the coffee, and therefore give the barista a certain round sum ($ 5, for example). He will give you change and say the following: “Here’s you nickel back”. Got it? Yes, I'm absolutely fucking serious - that's how the name of the band was coined. This is roughly the same as what I will call my team Svobodnaya Kassa. Idiocy.

The second is the design of the albums, and that is the first thing that immediately catches the eye. Album titles can be added here too, as they are similarly boring and dull. What is there on the first album (Curb, 1996) depicted? An old wrecked car. Typical font, gloomy color tones, general impression of being secondary and unoriginal ... Well, okay, this is just their debut: who knows, maybe it will be better in the future? In the courtyard in 1998, the album The State is released, where the cover depicts a boy of about six or seven years old, apparently in prison and behind bars. This is symbolism! - Oh wow! Yes, I have not seen such originality since one English band put a photo of a baby with a pistol on their record (sorry James, you are cool anyway!). If you don’t understand that I am saying this with sarcasm, then yes ... I do say it with sarcasm. Apparently, this was Neckelback's pathetic attempt to show his depth and concern ... with what? The political environment? The rise in child crime? How?? So the fact that children are in prison is bad? Thank you, O Captain Obvious, without you they would not have guessed. Next: Silver Side Up - note, the band's best-selling album (mainly due to How You Remind Me). What do we have there? Oh my God! An eye from which a single crystal teardrop flows. Not only is the comparison of tears with crystal is one of the most hackneyed tricks in music and literature, but every second gothic or emo band started on the 21st band at least once, but used the same concept. Yes, a five-year-old child-down would have come up with the best imagery !!! This is a failure - if the most popular Nickelback album is designed so poorly, then what can we expect from the rest ???

But let's look at one more. All The Right Reasons 2005. What's on the cover? Tachila. I can directly see how a teenager walks into the store with an absent gaze and Michael Bay's Transformers T-shirt on his body, sees this disc and yells: “Fuck! What a tachy! This is cool! Well, since there was such a tach, then the music will be f *** ing !!! Oh *** be !!! ". Well, do you remember what this contingent is designed for.

OK. This is all good, of course, and personally I think that design plays a very important role in the band's work, but this is by no means the most important thing: even the best representatives of their genre often indulge in disgusting covers. Let's listen to the music itself. What kind of musical style awaits us on the disc / disc? Oh, yes, is it really post-grunge, the most stupid and primitive style of rock music in the world. It can be described something like this: take all the clichés from Nirvana music, cut out all the fun and recklessness from there, polish the sound so that it sounds like a weighted version of Ranetok, add a bunch of snot, spice it all up with well-worn guitar chords and transitions and throw a pinch of brutally whiny vocals (it's like that, with a cheap hoarseness, a slight Texas accent and an inability to pull notes) and get what? Real water is a slag, the place of which is in a public garbage dump. But, for some reason, many people like this good. But, okay, you can even squeeze something interesting out of post-grunge - for example, the Blue October group at a certain stage of their career dabbled in it very much, and with considerable success. Maybe Nickelback can do it. And here we come to the most important and critical disadvantage of this Canadian team.

You see, I personally have always considered music as one of the ways to achieve an understanding of the human essence: as I said in many of my past notes, music does not carry any practical meaning, it is just entertainment. But this is precisely its main treasure, this freedom from obligations, freedom from frameworks and laws. We can pick up any instrument and squeeze out of it so many great sounds and melodies that all of humanity cannot listen to it. What can we say about the electric guitar - one of the most versatile instruments in general. Through music, a person can reveal himself and show his rich mind to others, pay attention to what he cares about and worries about, comprehend the life of his existence and creation, experience heavy life blows and problems. Music is one of the greatest human creations: the ability to take unrelated sounds and turn them into a pattern that touches our very soul. So, you won't find any of this in Nickelback's music.

Nickelback is the clearest indicator of how unoriginal and uninventive the human mind can be if it is saturated with laziness and stagnation. The musicians of this group take all possible clichés and combine them in a huge cliché mosaic of sadness and boredom: there is NOT ONE original element in their songs. Everything from the name of the songs to their sound has already been done a thousand times, recorded and released on millions of records. Primitive melodies, structures, parts - Nickelback definitely takes us for idiots. That, for sure, this is the main insult of this collective to the whole world: by recording so hackneyed and simple, ahem, music, they deprive us of the right to something interesting, slipping us secondary material, they say, "and so they grab it." We, in their opinion, are poor and cannot perceive complex arrangements and melodies. It’s just offensive to all of us and our fans! Guys, think about it, giving us such hackneyed songs, they belittle your mental capacity. It's like McDonald's from rock and metal, - stuffed your stomach with no-understand what and then walk with a heaviness in the stomach and a nightmarish thirst in the larynx. Moreover, this is a blow not only to music lovers, but to music itself in general. Nickelback undermines the foundations of human cultural progress and, one might say, are trying to throw it back twenty years, and before and further, in prehistoric times, when man was content with primitive rhythms. Lyrics? Worse? Rockstar song? What do you think, what will be sung there: rightly, about how the main character of the track wants to be a rock star, to go out and swim with models with a Jacuzzi. I sing what I see. And I would understand if they did all this with a sense of humor and a certain irony, but no: Nickelback take their music so seriously that their vocalist, Chad Krueger, blushes every time he hears criticism.

By the way, we will talk about the above with you later, when we are compiling a list of "top 5 worst frontmen of groups." However, let me assure you - the attitude of the band's musicians towards critics, rock fans and even their fans is simply disgusting.

Probably the only good thing I can say about Nickelback is that they play live in the same way as on albums - but it's not difficult at all if you record such a primitive. Or is it, on the contrary, can you write down in their minuses? Indeed, they do not allow themselves to experiment even with their own songs: no extra note, no original solo, NOTHING. Fuck that shit.

If you are still not convinced that Nickelback is a crime against enlightened humanity, then ... Well, especially do not swear at me. After all, this is just an opinion - but why are we still here? It is for the exchange of views. Have a nice evening, everyone, and lastly let me say that Nickelback can burn in the oven. Hooray!

 

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