Some people are destined to be temporary in our lives, and that's okay. Not every breakup is a loss People come and go

We do not meet people by accident. There is always some reason why someone comes into our life and leaves it. And the hardest thing to realize is that some people are destined to be with us only for a short time.

People who come and quickly leave our lives are usually those who open us up to new opportunities and ways of growth and development.

We do not want to let go of such people, because we are starting to get used to them. But we do not understand that some people are destined to be temporary in our lives, no matter how much we want the opposite.

“Not everything has to become something beautiful and durable. Some people come into your life to show what is right and what is wrong, to show who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better, or just to be someone you can walk with at night and pour out your soul. Not everyone will stay forever, but we must keep going and be grateful to them for what they gave us ", - writer Emery Allen.

I remember my most vivid acquaintances and now I understand why each person came into my life, and how he influenced who I am today. I have shared my deepest thoughts, fears, secrets and dreams with people who are no longer in my life. I do not regret it, because at that moment it was exactly what I wanted to do.

It always seemed amazing to me that our life intersects with the lives of so many people, and even if you know someone for a very short time, you can influence their life and their history. Looking at all this from this point of view is very exciting.

The sooner we realize that not everyone is destined to be a part of our life, the easier it will be for us to plunge into a new relationship and value time with a certain person, allowing him to leave when the time comes. We have to make the most of the time we have with each other and focus on the present. Letting go of expectations, assumptions and saturation with as much communication with people as possible.

“I see a lot of people in non-stimulating relationships - not just between boys and girls. Many find themselves in stagnant friendships. If people were less afraid to finish something, they would get more out of life ... You meet the right person in the right timeand it fills something in your life. You fill something into it. But there is a limit to this, ”- singer Laura Marling.

If you are losing someone in your life, do not lose yourself.

Always remember that just because some people are temporary in your life does not make your memories and experiences with them any less important.

/ Prologue /

People come and go from our lives. Unfortunately, no one can avoid losses and disappointment; everyone, sooner or later, goes through pain, tears, parting and betrayal. Experience, understanding of life and knowledge of the essence of people are built on such a bitter foundation. We are all different, each is unique, there is something special inside each of them. Everyone lives life and builds it in their own way. Principles change, views on things take on different forms, we grow up and, accordingly, our environment changes.

THERE IS NO MORE PAIN THAN SEEING IT WITH ANOTHER

As usual, I woke up from the alarm clock at exactly 06:30, quickly to the bathroom, then to the kitchen, and then ran to the university. Every school day has been like this for three years now.

Good morning, Albina hugged me, then ran to the bath. My beloved Adyghe, a close friend and classmate, was a sweet, sociable and very charming girl. The number of fans in the university of my friend was growing every day. The fact that she studied with Albina at our university and her older brother saved her from intrusive courtship and excessive attention of her suitors.

We quickly packed up and went to the university. An ordinary day, ordinary couples, harmful teachers and headphones in the ears on boring pairs. Albina squealed with a funny face:

Kira, my stomach will not forgive you if you don’t go with me to the canteen now, pulling my hand, she ran up the stairs. I, laughing, ran after my friend. In the canteen, where the same as Albina and I, gluttons and truants of hated couples gathered in heaps, as always it was noisy. We talked merrily, laughed and drank our favorite cocktail, suddenly my gaze fell on the front door and a painful ache in my heart.

I turned away and closed my eyes, as if it were some kind of delusion. But alas, what he saw was reality. Vadim, with his next girlfriend, walked at ease through the hall in the direction of the free table by the window, hugging the blue-eyed blonde around the waist. They passed, sat down at a table, a couple of minutes later Vadim got up and went to the counter to place an order. Passing by, he looked in our direction, greeted and passed. Painfully? No, it's even worse. To love a person, not to be with him and still naive to expect that everything will work out, he will return ... It's stupid. It's stupid, but that's how it was, I was waiting. Although outwardly I tried to hold on and now thought only about not crying in front of everyone. His next relationship, girls, gifts of all fans and no promises. Nobody. Including me. Albina, Hayka and my other girls tried hard to reason with me, asked him to forget, all in vain.

Aika often warned me that this is how everything will end, that there is no consistency and reliability in him, that this relationship will only be a minus to me. But first love, it is so easy not to forget it, not to forbid oneself, not to stop feeling, not to stop being jealous. I like. My heart lives in a different rhythm with the mind. The mood was ruined, the appetite was lost, I wanted to go home, under the covers and cry.

We came home, Albina did not ask unnecessary questions, understanding everything perfectly, but said that she would not leave me at home alone and I would go with her to the hall.

Kira, don't look at me through the eyes of a shrek cat, get ready. Come on and we go to the gym. Fast!

Staying at home meant crying to the point of powerlessness, I decided to listen to my friend and we spent at the gym until nine in the evening. Arriving home exhausted, I was unable to think about something, quickly take a shower and sleep.

The study proceeded as usual, we went to the gym, walked around the winter Krasnodar, celebrated the holidays - only all this did not give me the proper joy. I coped with depression with great effort, tried not to meet with Vadim at the university, did not discuss him with my friends, tried to drown out the mental pain with physical fatigue, spending endlessly stretching days in the gym. Although, in principle, I had an excellent figure and did not need such rooms. But I had to occupy myself with something, otherwise I slowly began to go crazy. What prevented me from forgetting? Why did I suffer? Understatement is what tears the brain into many fragments of guesses and hopes. I felt that there were many questions, but I knew that I would probably never get answers to them. We did not fully figure out the relationship, there was no one-on-one conversation with questions and answers. Even humanly he could not part.

HOW WELL STARTED

I finally found out the name of that handsome guy who drives a car in our area. Oh, I think I fell in love. My hero's name is Vadim. Mmm ... The memory of his appearance makes me smile. I really want to meet him. But how? It turns out that he is studying in the sixth school, it is not far from the school where I study, but we just can't get to know each other.

Yesterday I saw Shoma, It turns out that I know Vadim, they good friends... And also ... He also gave me his number and promised to try to introduce us. So they reach out to write him, there is not enough patience to wait until Shoma introduces us personally. No, I can’t take it any longer, the attempt is not torture.

Time passed, we began to communicate exclusively by messages, I rarely saw him around the city, but it seemed to me that he did not understand that I and Kira were from the seventh school. Oddly enough, girls with that name are in order in our school. Well, nothing, let's see what happens next.

Today I learned that Vadim is dating some Sveta. It didn’t disappoint me. I would not like not to reply to messages and did not get to know me. It means that this Light is not so necessary for him. Moreover, now we know each other personally. When I was walking home from the tutor I met Shoma and Vadim, they were walking in the park. Now he knows me by sight.

Now we correspond and communicate even more often. Apparently rumors are spreading quickly in our small town... Someone took care and gave my number to Vadim's girlfriend. She called, asked me not to bother him and not write to him again. How insecure she is, since she began to call me with such requests. Well, I told her directly that, firstly, it didn’t concern her, and secondly, he was taking the initiative and writing to me, so let him take it off. I hope she won't bother me. With Vadim, I would not even think to stop communicating. No!

A month has already passed, Vadim disappeared altogether. But someone else is trying to look after me. Such a cute boy, a year older than me, he is 18 years old, his name is Rasul. If Vadim does not show up, I will agree to take a walk in the park with Rasul.

HELLO DEPRESSION, BE LIKE HOME

This morning I woke up before the alarm clock, had a nightmare. In general, I do not sleep well, since being busy does not change my state of mind, I need to start drinking sedatives. Sometimes I see Vadim at the university, and he talks with this blonde. She is certainly very beautiful, I will not say that she is an arrogant sheep, but it hurts to see them together. Highly. Albina and Aika, as always, insist that I torture myself in vain, it's time to pay attention to the other guys. Yes, they are absolutely right, because I am a free girl. It would be better not to know such freedom when you love. There seem to be nice guys in the simulator, we communicate nicely, but nothing goes further than simple communication. Hayka says that I'm probably just not ready even in my thoughts to be with someone other than Vadim, so I mentally push away all possible relationships with guys. And thoughts, as we know, materialize. I guess I really need time. Time to let go.

My happiness did not last long, so many years of acquaintance and on one hand you can count the months when he was there. I remember the last months together with an involuntary smile. We rode the bus to our native city, to Dagestan, sat side by side. All the way he held my hand, I slept a little on the road, and when I woke up I discovered that he still had not let go of my hand. Then he told me that he tried not to move one more time so as not to wake me up. From such memories, the heart begins to dance to the rhythm of tango, as if the blood begins to follow the special routes of the body, causing goosebumps. There were times when he came every day, we sat for hours and chatted about everything in the world. So many emotions, moments and happiness remained in me. I have no idea how you can forget all this. Until this winter, everything was fine, finally we began to meet normally, I thought that at last Vadim changed his mind, made up his mind and we will always be together.

Not everyone you lose is a loss. And not everyone you find is worth holding back.

He was to become the One. For those who will kneel down, who will scream with joy at the sight of those two pink stripes, who will help me blow out the candles for my 80th birthday.

He was supposed to be the One before I lost him.

It hurt at first. Very painful. I had too many sleepless nights lying in the middle of the bed in a crumpled sheet and a pillow soaked with tears. I felt that it would never stop, I doubted that I had left him in vain, I reproached myself that I had not tried well.

But then, one day, I realized that I would be fine. And not just fine, but better than I was before. I will be free. I will finally live the life I want.

This is because one day I realized that not everyone you lose is a loss. And not everyone you find is worth holding back.

People come into our lives for a reason, for a purpose. They give us lessons, bring happiness or sadness, open our eyes to something, help us know ourselves and what we want.

Sometimes people leave our lives for some reason and for some purpose. They leave because they have already completed their mission in our life, because they have already taught us what they should have, and now it's time for us to move on. Those people who come and go shouldn't stay.

When they leave, it hurts. You feel devastated, like they left you without an umbrella in the pouring rain, like they slammed a door in your face. It seems to you that they took your heart with them, you feel betrayed, hopeless and destroyed.

These feelings are normal at first. But in a few weeks or months, it's time for you to take a step back. You must realize that by losing such people who hurt you, who were careless with your heart, you only won. You have won your freedom, joy, peace and quiet in your soul.

Therefore, stop acting as if you are losing something valuable, stop giving him / her such strength. Pull yourself together, put your heart together and tell yourself every day that this is not a loss, but a victory.

Yes, you could have lost a lot with their departure. You could have lost memories, shared dreams of the future, morning hugs. You could have lost cute SMS at night, your relationship status on Facebook, peace of mind knowing that you are not alone.

I also lost it all when I lost him. I understand how it feels when you lie alone at night and you are so lonely that it’s hard to breathe. Losing always hurts, I know that.

But here's what. I also lost something else.

I lost the SMS and phone calls that he ignored, cold-blooded manipulation, the feeling that I was missing something. I lost painful reproaches, accusations that I was always to blame, his disregard when I cried.

I lost someone who was emotionally abusive to me.

And while it’s hard, it’s not a loss. He came into my life and taught me a lesson. And for that I am grateful. I am grateful for the short time we were happy and that he showed me how strong I can be.

But losing it is good. It's even better than good. Because, having lost him, I found myself. I found my dreams again.

If you have the same feelings, if you finally let go of something so useless and destructive to you, and blame yourself for something, you shouldn't. They are no longer worth your energy and your tears. They are not worth anything to you anymore.

You may have lost them, but you have won much more. You won, you got your life back.

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