If the boss humiliates. Workplace abuse: norms, punishment, and helpful advice. Protection of rights and admission of mistakes

It is at work that we spend most of our lives. And on the relationship in the team, a lot depends on the general condition and " sensations»Yourself, before having a career in this place. And if it is easier to deal with relations with subordinates, because we are on the same level with these people, then conflicts with the authorities can unsettle for a long time, or even turn life into real torture.

What if the boss yells?

Try to find an approach to your boss. We are all human, so you can find your own approach to everyone, and by adhering to this policy, you can change your attitude towards yourself. Only here you need to be very careful, because sycophant here not only will not help, but most likely will only aggravate the situation.

Do not fall for provocations and do not respond with rudeness and shouts. You do not need to be frustrated in response, even if you understand that the boss is picking on every little thing, this is usually the case. Be calm and discreet.

Remember that it is on this person that what will be written in your work book, which means not only this position, but also the opportunity to find a new place, so check every word, even if the boss is constantly yelling.

No need to go to the other extreme, namely, beg for forgiveness or allow yourself to be publicly humiliated. In this case, such an attitude will become "the norm", and you will lose the respect not only of your boss, but also of your colleagues.

Please note thatthat if the boss yells at his subordinates only in some cases, then you can "close your eyes" to this. Everyone has a situation when you involuntarily break down on others.

Try to answer only after the boss breaks through. Only in this case will he be able to assess the situation adequately. Now get down to a constructive conversation.

Curb your boss's ardor, and do it calmly, but firmly, if accusations against you in a raised voice dragged on. But, behave with dignity, do not allow retaliatory hysteria on your part.

If, nevertheless, without speaking in a raised voice you can't do it, try not to do it in front of witnesses. If you have complaints about your boss, do not voice them in a shouting format and in a confidential stop.

If you still deserve the "spanking", calmly admit your mistake, but add that there was absolutely no need to make a remark in such a harsh tone. Speak calmly and don't get frustrated.

, use neutral phrases on the occasion. Like, yes, I understood, I took it into account, I will not make such mistakes in the future, etc. Then "shake off" negative emotions and keep working.

If comments are made to you one at a time and on the same occasion, try to improve. Are you constantly late? Come out early. Paint brightly, clothes do not correspond to the dress code, delay work, etc., if these are systematic violations, then only your fault.

Even if the boss yells at subordinates, it is absolutely useless to set conditions for him. And if best worker will set a condition - do not shout at him or he will leave work, etc. This is likely to backfire. So it is incorrect to set the conditions here.

Do not try to take revenge on your boss. It doesn't matter if these are petty dirty tricks, or idle gossip that can damage his reputation well, rather you yourself will suffer from such behavior, or rather your own reputation and resume.

At the same time, do not let yourself be used, if the shouts of management are a way to force you to stay late at work or complete an unbearable amount of it, then it is necessary not only to note that you do not deserve such an attitude, but also to reconsider the distribution of responsibilities between employees. Don't forget about your rights.

If the boss constantly yells, understand the reasons for his behavior. Sometimes this is really an excuse to discuss the situation, and in some cases, the best way out is dismissal. Of course, if you observe such a “special” relationship only in your direction.

If the boss yells at subordinates constantly, does not hold back and considers this to be the norm, this is also an excuse to either quit, because it is impossible to fix a person (but try it first), or to prepare for proceedings with higher management.

And yet, remember that most managers are quite adequate people, the main thing is to defend themselves and earn a reputation. And also, use advice to employees in cases where the manager switches to raised tones.

»Tyrant bosses

How to "put in place" a presumptuous boss
(Methods of confronting tyrant bosses)

Bosses are different: smart and stupid, kind and evil, cunning and not so. Unfortunately, there are also real "thugs" who have decided for some reason that their position and social status allow them to humiliate the dignity of those who depend on them to one degree or another. What to do, money and power often spoil people.

You should not pass in front of big bosses calling you last words, splashing saliva and stomping your feet in rage. You need to be able to talk to them. And do not forget about your interests. There are behavioral strategies developed by psychologists specifically for such cases. If kissing bosses somewhere below the back is not your style, read this article carefully.

You can become the object of neglect or humiliation for coming to work without a tie; for being late unexpectedly; for not understanding the order you were given, etc. The most common situation is that you've made a mistake. Your boss has discovered it and lets you know that you shouldn't have done this, that you are no good, and so on. This is done in a rude and offensive manner, very often in front of witnesses. Unfortunately, many managers see the opportunity to point out their mistakes to a subordinate as another reason to show their superiority. They love to focus attention on this, savor the mistakes of the employee, thereby humiliating him as a person.

Your possible actions:

Option 1. Of course, instead of listening to bossy delusions, you can always state in the appropriate terms that you are not on the way with such a boss. After that, naturally, all that remains is to leave the office with your head held high. “Having said this, the count retired with dignity. All in white, ”- the Strugatskys, it seems. But on the way to the labor exchange, you will amuse your own vanity to your satisfaction, remembering how you put “this cretin” in place. True, a less pleasant scenario may happen: the boss's guard will take over you and you will not leave the company on your own, but fly out with your things into the street.

Option 2. You flare up and answer in the style of "the fool himself": say that he has no right to criticize you, because he himself makes mistakes, he is late, etc. And in general - you are a qualified specialist and are able to cope with work without his instructions.

This is a bad choice. Bosses don't like it when subordinates point out their flaws, especially in public. Therefore, I will not undertake to predict the result. Most likely, it will be the same as in item 1. You will lose your job.

Option 3. You fall to your knees, tore your shirt on your chest, sprinkle ashes on your head, humbly apologize and ask for mercy on you. Then say that you are sorry that it was stupid of you and that it will never happen again.

This option is slightly better than the previous one. By exchanging anger for mercy, the boss can grant you his forgiveness. Only one thing is bad. If you have at least a drop of your own dignity, you will not be able to get rid of the feeling that your feet have been wiped on you for a long time. In addition, by accepting humiliation without complaint, you admit your own insignificance. By demonstrating a lack of pride and self-esteem, you run the risk that not only the leader, but also your fellow coworkers will eventually cease to reckon with you. The fact is that the phenomenon of imitation is very developed in organizations. And if an authoritative leader or boss chooses you as a "whipping boy (girl)", sooner or later other employees will copy his behavior. The flock follows its leader - the ancients knew about it.

I am convinced that you deserve more. In the end, you came to the firm to sell your professional knowledge, experience and skills, and not yourself. Therefore, showing self-esteem is appropriate. You can defend your interests and keep your job.

Option 4. First, it’s best to let the boss speak, that is, let off some steam, before trying to respond. Wait for the moment when he will be able to listen to you. Next, you admit that you made a mistake, that you regret it and will be more attentive next time. Then you add that your boss (boss) speaks in a rather harsh tone, and you do not see the need for this. Second, it is best to sort things out with your boss in a confidential setting.

And one more thing: do not try to give your boss ultimatums like: "If this happens again, I immediately quit your company." Bosses hate it when subordinates put conditions on them. In the end, you can always write a letter of resignation without Chinese warnings. Better just say that this style of behavior prevents you from focusing on your job responsibilities. Then, politely, but firmly, ask the boss to moderate his ardor.

Of course, there is a risk that you will be fired even if you raise your objections in the correct form. There are psychopathic bosses who do not tolerate any manifestations of self-esteem from their subordinates. They need a slightly different approach. (I'll talk about this a little later.) But most managers respect those employees who honestly express their opinions in a proper - confident and correct form, without hurting the pride of their boss

***
Humiliation can take more than just a verbal-aggressive form. No less offensive and so-called. passive derogatory behavior. These are offensive jokes, and ironic remarks addressed to you, and sarcastic smiles, and a politely dismissive tone of orders, and contemptuous notes in the voice of your boss ... All this is done in order to humiliate you, however, it is done in a veiled manner and as if casually ...

In such cases, you should not pretend not to notice the humiliation. If you remain silent, you kind of agree to treat you in the same way in the future, acknowledge the boss's right to consider you as something insignificant, not worthwhile special attention and, moreover, respect.

The following strategy helps in such situations. Don't try to suppress your feelings. Say that you are worried about the boss’s behavior and that you don’t like jokes about you. Ask him directly what that means.

When you seek clarification, you have the opportunity to "put in place" your counterpart. That is, you caught him (her) on a not entirely fair game, demand an explanation and make it clear that you should be treated as an equal. Moreover, you do it in a correct and confident manner, therefore good relationship between you and the boss may well get better

***
However, there are bosses, to which the above strategies are not only ineffective, but also dangerous. Usually these are bosses with an extremely unbalanced temperament and excessive excitability, which regularly finds a way out in outbursts of uncontrollable emotions: from "quiet tyranny" to wild seizures. Finding out your relationship with them at such moments means putting a big trouble on your head.

Oddly enough, such bosses are often loved and respected by their subordinates. This is the classic father-director type. Everyone believes in him. He is an indisputable leader. The workers treat him only as a benefactor. And there are reasons for that. He punishes and encourages at his own discretion, usually does not like to be fired on staff reductions ("better poorer, but together"), everyone can turn to him with a personal problem. For this he is forgiven a lot: mistakes, bad habits, rudeness.

But when he's upset, it's best to stay away from him. If his nerves are at the limit, he arranges a hauling for everyone who falls under his hot hand. And at the same time, he does not particularly stand on ceremony in expressions. True, he quickly forgets about it. Therefore, in such moments it is useful to recall the old soldier's wisdom: "Away from the authorities - closer to the kitchen." Try not to catch his eye for a while, and the conflict will settle by itself.

Much more dangerous is another type of bosses - sadistic psychopaths, who are also "classic" tyrants. Unlike the previous ones, these humiliate subordinates not in a fit of uncontrollable anger, but deliberately and purposefully, for their own pleasure. And if such a boss chooses you as his victim, you won't be able to sit quietly in a corner.

Social psychopaths on leadership positions meets enough today. Unfortunately, the present life in our country disposes in every possible way. They are characterized by excellent "fighting" qualities, complete absence remorse, vanity and uncriticality in assessing their own actions. Plus the constantly present syndrome of suspicion of everyone and everything in all sorts of intrigues. The impudence characteristic of such types (a strong type of the nervous system!), Combined with infallible self-confidence, usually paralyzes the will and ability to resist in the victim. In addition, they have a well-developed flair for people who are psychologically weaker than them. A well-developed intuition allows you to avoid real fighters who can adequately respond to this style of "leadership". All of these qualities allow social psychopaths to reach significant career heights.

It was found that the psychotype of the tyrant boss, oddly enough, almost completely coincides with the psychotype ... of a serial killer. This is one field of berries. Only one receives the highest pleasure, shedding rivers of blood, and the other thirsts to "drink" it drop by drop, tormenting and humiliating his subordinates from day to day. In both, the primary motivations - sexual lust, painful aggressiveness or a thirst for revenge, are fancifully transformed into an ecstasy of power and a desire to command people. In everyday life, both are often gray and unimportant people. One can recall the quiet teacher Chikatilo or the “simple worker” Onoprienko. And the service monsters, terrorizing entire collectives at work, in everyday life are often "henpecked" from a wife or mistress.

Even coming to a firm ruled by a psychopathic boss can be difficult at times. The terrorized workers jump up like automatons and patter their memorized text quickly. They say that our company is the best company in the world, etc. Although, for people inclined to be shy in front of strong power, this makes a great impression. ("A real leader! And what a team he has!") Such a boss masterfully gropes for exactly the way that is applicable to specific employee... Will be guilty, frighten him. Everything is used - an ironic smile at the right moment, and a rude shout.

The ideal worker for such a boss is a slave whose knees should tremble from the mere sight of a boss. And such managers begin to intimidate their employees already when they are hired - at an interview. Therefore, you will always have time to weigh the pros and cons, to decide for yourself whether it is worth working in such a company. I am not urging you to slam the door loudly and abandon all attempts to occupy the required position in such an organization. Just prepare yourself for a certain style of behavior with your future boss.

The most important thing is to learn how to shake off that sticky fear with which they will try to smear you. The sadistic boss always tries to put his subordinate not just into dependence, but into an alarming dependence, and if he succeeds, then he brings this anxiety to convulsions. Don't give in. And less enter into verbal skirmishes with him. Such bosses are experienced demagogues and brilliant orators, shamelessly and skillfully confusing their opponents. They have a well-developed conversation technique. They know how to confuse the interlocutor with one remark, to interfere with the development of thought, if for some reason they do not like this thought. Moreover, such bosses have a very perverted logic of thinking: “If an employee contradicts me, then he is not afraid. Not afraid means not respecting. " Therefore, those who are not afraid to openly object to their boss do not stay long at such a company.

And protecting yourself from psychopathic bosses is easy. If you are too annoyed by the frightening "dancing" of your boss, you just need to mentally put a wall between him and yourself. Create a screen between you. To do this, you must imagine an impenetrable wall. What you build it from is a matter of your imagination. Made of bricks, steel, armored glass, just dense air, a magnetic field ... And suddenly you will see how the big boss splashing saliva and stamping his feet will become absolutely indifferent to you.

In this case, the change is striking. They suddenly become polite and calm. Even benevolent. More often than not, they have a feeling of respect beyond their control for a person whom they cannot "break through."

Psychologists also advise covering such bosses with an imaginary glass. But this is no longer entirely humane - they begin to feel very uncomfortable, get nervous and, feeling their powerlessness in front of you, begin to take out their anger on other employees.

Learn to evoke such calm indifference in your feelings and turn it on when you need it. At least with such a technique, you are guaranteed against unwanted pressure on your personality.

***
Finally, I'll tell you how to "siege" an overly proactive boss. There are bosses who do not seem to be bloodthirsty, but are quite capable of driving their subordinates to quiet madness with their idiotic undertakings and "valuable" instructions. For example, you are a qualified specialist and have been developing a certain project for six months. Finally, elated, you take it to your big boss for approval. What follows is a typical situation. The big boss, who understands the specifics of your activity as much as a hare in geometry, nevertheless considers it his duty to point out your mistakes and requires you to make adjustments. You understand that this is a disaster for the project, that the proposed changes put an end to it. You see, but you can't do anything. It is useless to argue with the boss - they enter the boss's office with their opinion, and they leave with self-knowledge.

In the course of its labor activity various situations arise, and the question of what to do if the boss survives from work becomes a serious question. We often have to deal with extreme psychological stress and stress, leading to conflicts within the team. It should be understood that the leader bears the main responsibility for his subordinates, for everything that happens in the company, why it may seem that he has become too nitpicky for no good reason.

The subordinate must clearly understand how he can resist the powerful psychological influence from the bodies controlling his activity. Any senior management will definitely not like an employee's lack of success, since his colleagues will probably have to do not their own, but someone else's work "for two." This will lead to missed deadlines, additional financial losses and unwanted emotional stress.

Employee behavior

A very common situation is when people sacrifice themselves, step over some principles in order to please their superiors. They believe that in this way they will be able not to aggravate the existing difficult situation. In some situations, this can really help, but it is important to recognize the critical point of "no return" in time.

When the boss forces you to do additional work, regularly humiliates or outright mocks the employee, the latter needs to take decisive action. The manifestation of a defensive reaction should be aimed at maintaining one's own psychological health, relieving emotional fatigue, and maintaining a favorable working atmosphere.

Hired employees of public and private structures should be aware of the existence of Article 37 of the Constitution of the Russian Federation, which protects citizens from unreasonable attacks from the head. Each employee is presented with:

the ability to independently choose the field of activity and employer;
the right to receive a profession at will;
protection of interests and free choice of labor.

Any boss according to Labor Code RF is prohibited from discriminating against subordinates. When a manager forces you to do something that is not spelled out in the employment contract or legislation, deliberately worsens the employee's position based on personal hostility, racial, national, social or other motives, you can easily complain about such actions.

Clarifying the relationship with the manager

Many are worried about what is best to do if the boss finds fault, begins to insult and exert psychological pressure on the subordinate. The first thing it is recommended to do is to tactfully inform the manager about what is happening. It is recommended that the interview be conducted in a calm and confidential atmosphere. The employer should understand that the displayed humiliation or disrespect reduces the employee's desire to be productive and to be of benefit to the company.

You should not yell or pressure your boss as if you no longer plan to work with him. All considerations and suggestions must be expressed as correctly, consistently and confidently as possible. A competent employer will listen to adequate criticism, put forward his proposals and take constructive actions to stabilize the situation.

Having in front of oneself only one goal, how to put the boss in place, in a conversation with him one should behave professionally and not show familiarity. Any form of disrespect is usually perceived as a challenge that will certainly be accepted. The employer has the right to fire employees even for harsh and spontaneous sayings, therefore, it is advisable to think over the future dialogue in advance, to weigh all the positive and negative outcomes of possible communication.

Finding another job

An employee experiencing problems with management is advised to decide whether to seek a common language with him. You should also evaluate your professional skills, whether similar troubles will arise in another workplace. In a number of situations, you need to look for the cause of the conflict in yourself.

If the boss finds fault in any matter, conducts total control of the entire labor process, expresses unambiguous hints of dismissal and expresses daily distrust, for the subordinate there is every reason to look for a new employer. Further collaborationis likely to lead to an aggravation of the existing situation and negative moments for the employee himself.

The greatest concern is usually caused not by the yelling or degrading leader, but by the one who forces you to perform an excessive number of tasks without justifying their necessity and order of solution. In such situations, the employee in most situations will be considered the culprit of any negative outcome. The resulting results will be unacceptable, even if they are successful.

An employee not only needs to know how to write an explanatory note correctly, but also how to file a letter of resignation. It is preferable to find another suitable workplacesatisfying both working conditions and wages.

Protection of rights and admission of mistakes

The conflicts that have arisen between the employer and the subordinate can go beyond what is permitted. Neglect of the legal rights of a citizen, petty tyranny of the leader cause a desire to understand how to punish the boss. On the basis of Article 352 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation, Russians have the right to defend their interests and freedoms:

through trade unions of the enterprise;
through independent struggle;
by submitting an application to the courts;
by writing a complaint against the chief - a sample can be downloaded on our website.

The greatest effect is obtained by contacting state control organizations that exercise control and supervision functions to ensure labor legislation.

Before a complaint against the boss is drawn up and sent, it is worthwhile to understand the conflict. Self-criticism usually helps. In a number of cases, the expressed dissatisfaction on the part of the head has good reasons. It is necessary to work on the mistakes made and to fix them.

The problem here is not how to fire the boss, but honestly admit the flaws. It is important for the parties to calm down and find a constructive solution to the problem. The effect of shifting your guilt onto another person will definitely not be. An employee who does not want to work on bugs, constantly referencing external factors as an excuse, he will likely be fired soon.

Insults to the bosses

The response from the employee is determined based on what the manager actually wants when trying to humiliate or shout at a subordinate. If the boss yells and unreasonably accuses of something in order to fire a person, it is recommended to immediately submit an application to the labor inspectorate. Supervisory authorities are required to see personal motives and psychological impact. It is better to avoid any provocative actions and not succumb to them.

The complaint must be written when the manager has received an explanation from the accused. The employee should objectively state all the circumstances of the issue and express the intention of contacting the labor inspectorate. Identification of violations by the employer is fraught with punishment for the latter under the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Usually a warning or a fine is imposed:

from 1 to 5 thousand rubles for an official;
from 1 to 5 thousand rubles for a private entrepreneur;
from 30 to 50 thousand rubles for a legal entity.

In most situations, legal entities bear the maximum responsibility and are more willing to settle the conflict.

The appeal to the labor inspectorate must contain information about the essence of the problem, the chronological order of its development, the personal data of the employer, provisions employment contract and other agreements. Confirming facts can be video or audio recording of communication between contractors, copies e-mails and data from social networks.

Responsibility for humiliation at work

If the boss is a tyrant and is trying in any way to survive the employee, this will probably be classified as bullying, since the manager's statements and his corresponding actions can be considered a direct insult. It is about humiliation of the honor and dignity of a person, expressed in a harsh and indecent form.

Practice shows that in such matters the manager will face administrative responsibility and penalties of up to 3,000 rubles. The employee, for his part, should make it clear to his superiors that this kind of relationship is unacceptable. If this does not bring the desired effect, it is recommended to immediately contact the prosecutor's office.

The written appeal must contain the time and date of the event, the nature of the actions of the boss, his statements and negative actions in relation to the victim. It is better to avoid details in the application, as all details will be clarified in the future. After studying the materials, the prosecutor makes a decision to initiate a criminal case or refusal to do so. The passed verdict can be challenged through a higher authority, including the court.

If a case is initiated by the prosecutor, the necessary actions are taken to establish the circumstances of the case and reveal the fact of an offense. This is done by individual polling of colleagues. The investigation time cannot last more than 30 days. The results of the proceedings are transferred to the court, where the case is considered up to 14 days, depending on the workload of the relevant authorities. The results of the investigation may be the prosecution of the employer or the closure of administrative proceedings. A period of up to 10 days is given to challenge the decision.

The best behavior is to let your boss speak before answering. Wait for the moment when she will be able to perceive lice words. Then you can admit the mistake you made and promise not to repeat it again. After that, it should be noted that the tone is too harsh, which has no foundation. It is best if this conversation takes place in private. Do not put ultimatums and conditions under any circumstances - the management cannot stand it. Just politely but firmly ask for a tone down. There is no doubt that there is a risk that you will be fired after this, but most managers respect employees who openly and honestly express their opinions in the correct form, without affecting the pride of management.

Offensive behaviour

Often, leaders do not stop at only harsh statements, then passive-derogatory behavior is used. It can be offensive jokes, irony, dismissive or contemptuous tone, etc. All this is a polite attempt to humiliate.

In such cases, it is absolutely impossible to remain indifferent and pretend that nothing is happening. Otherwise, this behavior of the boss will quickly become a habit, in addition, your colleagues may adopt the same style of communication with you. The best thing to do is to tell your boss directly that you are not happy with the attitude and ask them to explain what this all means. This will give you the opportunity to put your boss in her place, to force her to treat you as an equal. Remember to speak confidently and correctly.

Types of bosses

The classic type of "mother-director" - she is an authoritative leader, she is loved and respected, but when she is in anger, stay away from her. At such a moment, the best thing to do is to hide in the office for a while and plunge headlong into work. After a while it will cool down and everything will be forgotten.

Much more dangerous than a tyrant boss. They humiliate subordinates for their own pleasure, doing it quite deliberately. Here it will not be possible to sit out. The ideal employee for such a leader is a slave whose knees should shake at the sight of her. Oftentimes, these managers start to intimidate potential employees during the interview. And if you decide to get a job in such a company, then be prepared to rebuff your boss.

The most important thing you need to do is not to be afraid. Such bosses try to put subordinates in an alarming dependence. Do not give in and minimize all verbal skirmishes. Build a fictional impenetrable wall in front of you and you will be amazed at how indifferent your leader will become to you. But her behavior will change dramatically, she will become polite and begin to respect you.

Most people have at least once in their careers found themselves in a situation where they were forced to endure insults from their boss (or did not tolerate it). What is the reason for the defiant behavior of people in high positions?

Thus, one of the studies on the nature of managerial aggression showed that a possible reason is lack of confidence in their professional skills. This is the conclusion reached by Californian scientists Nathanael Fast and Serena Chen, who conducted a survey where respondents were asked to assess themselves from a professional point of view and indicate how aggressive they are at work. It turned out that people showing aggression in high positions doubt their professional skills, while those who are confident in their competence assessed their behavior as "calm".

Problems come from childhood

Bosses who humiliate subordinates are very common. From the point of view of psychologists, a person who humiliates experiences deep inner psychological discomfort.

A possible cause is difficulties that were in childhood or adolescence. The person may not have been the best student, or he was teased and bullied at school, bullied in the yard, and the trauma is still not healed. And these traumas that go deep from childhood lead to the fact that their owners, having gained access to power, begin to persecute their subordinates, ”says Natalya Storozheva, general director of the Perspektiva center, a teacher at the Russian School of Management.

What is humiliation? According to Olga Obedkova-Muravich, lawyer, positive psychologist, ethen the emergence of shame, experiences in a person who is hurt, offended. There is such a concept in criminal law as victimhood - the victim himself attracts the offender, because he has a “victim” deep inside him. But it often happens that the relationship in a pair "criminal - victim" changes, and the one who suffered begins to humiliate himself. This also happens in collectives.

This is laid down in childhood, up to the age of three, when parents themselves "turn on" the shame program, forbidding children to study themselves, study the world around them, overly controlling. At some point, the shame becomes unbearable, and the child begins to perform forbidden actions to discharge. And the child has a desire to be caught, punished, and he already regrets himself in advance, - says Olga Obyedkova-Muravich.

Unhappy in the family - a tyrant at work

Another common reason is family and personal difficulties. When you feel inadequate in your personal life, you fall for your subordinates.

We were interviewed by a woman in her 50s, cFO... She interviewed candidates for the position of financial analyst. So, she calmly talked with the first two candidates and suddenly pounced on the third for no apparent reason. She began to ask difficult questions, to find fault, to twist. And when the door closed behind the girl, to my dumb question, expressed in a look, the director replied: "I can't help myself. I know that I'm wrong, but she looks so much like my daughter-in-law!" This is a manifestation of the accumulated internal aggression, says Natalia Storozheva.

Insolvency

When a person was building a career with great difficulty, experienced a lot of humiliation, difficulties, drank a lot of poison, climbing career ladder, then, having taken a significant step, he begins to recoup his subordinates.

A sales executive told us how he wants to build a good management team. But when we started to watch people, he smashed to smithereens one by one. I ask him: "Tell me, do you understand that you will not form a sales department with this approach?" And the answer was, "Do you know how much they nagged at me until I became a leader? How much was I underpaid? And do you think I'll let someone climb that ladder easily?" And it turns out that business tasks are overlapped by psychological trauma, - says Natalya Storozheva.

Another story Storozheva tells about a PR manager who quit her job due to the fact that her boss hounded her. Whatever the PR woman wrote, all the texts did not suit the leader, she wanted it to be just the way she sees it, and literally forced her to write under dictation.

The sentence "Maybe then you will write it yourself or the secretary will write it down for you and post it on the site?" caused aggression. When we began to understand deeper, it turned out that the headmistress had a journalism education in the past, but she did not have a journalistic career. And although now she has a post commercial director, her failed past, non-recognition as a journalist, did not give her the opportunity to treat the work of a PR manager objectively, neutrally.

Suffering only at will

It is impossible to humiliate the one who does not allow this: from him this humiliation will ricochet.

Wounded people become leaders why? To move from the position of the victim to the position of the tyrant - to hurt others, to see how they are tormented. He may not remember how his mother humiliated him in childhood, but he still has a childish insecurity, which he is trying to erase from himself. And if people appear in the team who can repulse the tyrant, then they collect all the strength of the spirit and destroy the aggressor. The humiliating person is always weak, and, humiliating, he shows his weakness, demonstrating that he cannot cope with the situation, - continues Olga Obyedkova-Muravich.

In general, many managers simply do not want to understand psychology, motivation, and management issues. It is easier for them to become a dictator who rigidly sets conditions, humiliates and insults, and this will bear fruit.

At the same time, outside of work, such bosses often do not even use obscene expressions. They just have such a management style. For example, in Siberia there is big company for the production of carbonated drinks. Billions of rubles in turnover. You look at the director - well, a complete tyrant. Shouts, builds, humiliates. But at the same time, he raised the plant from scratch in a few years. And here the question is not whether it is good or bad, but that it gives certain results, - gives an example Alexander Belanovsky, a business consultant.

Harsh expressions as a management tool

Many do not understand decent words, says Alexander Belanovsky.

I know a person who built a theater ticket business from scratch; in two years he has already opened seven branches. He has a tough business style. And this is not due to psychological trauma, but to the fact that he has a large network of agents, a lot of people working on phones, respectively, the staff often changes, and each newcomer needs to be trained. All his meetings and planning meetings are held in a raised voice and in incorrect expressions, but this gives a real result, his business is developing, - says Alexander Belanovsky, business consultant.

In sales, especially in large companies (including in the West) rarely does without foul language, Belanovsky claims. According to him, maybe this is not entirely correct and correct, but in this case, conveying information with biting and succinct expressions is the easiest way.

Masochism at work

Much depends on the psychology of the leader himself. Alexander Belanovsky distinguishes between two types of bosses - a "brood hen" who will sit with everyone, talk, and understand each problem. And then there are "American sergeants." In principle, they do not know how to find a common language with employees - here's a shovel, go dig it, or fire it.

Another one interesting thing, which can be noticed by studying the training market: there is a category of people who get high results only when they are treated incorrectly. For example, tens of thousands of people sign up for weight loss trainings a year. And there the words "fat cow" - the most affectionate expression, perhaps. But people who come there want to be beaten, kicked, humiliated, and only then can they give a result. And in work the same way: there are people who want to be ruled through humiliation, want to obey. And there are many of them, not just one percent. And they perceive rudeness as normal, but with "brood hens" they simply do nothing, do not give any result. The main thing is not to forget that rudeness can take place when both parties are satisfied with it. And if a subordinate is dissatisfied with this type of management - what can you do about it, all you have to do is quit, well, you can still file a lawsuit, '' Belanovsky summed up.

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