Life is ruined what to do. Evil eye, damage? Or why life suddenly collapses. Do not stop! Everything is going as it should

There are days in life when you need all your will so as not to drown in the streams of negative events and destructive circumstances. You must be strong to fight back the enemy, the tax authorities, illness, problems in your personal life, and even fate itself. But what can one person do when the whole world is up in arms against him? Huddle in a corner, cry and ask not to beat yourself? We do not think so and, relying on the experience of sages and older generations, we will tell you about how to get through difficult times without much damage.

Don't give up

I noticed that even those people who claim that everything is a foregone conclusion, and that nothing can be done about it, look around before crossing the road.
- Stephen Hawking -

The first thing you want to do, when practically all your life has been torn apart by a nuclear explosion, is to surrender. You think that "it had to happen" because you grew up in this family, worked in this company and lived with this girl - the stars fucked you, and you seem to have nothing to do with it. But even if fate and fate exist, this does not mean that you need to give control of your life to the flow and emptiness. Many people want to throw off the burden of responsibility for their own mistakes, but when you step aside from this responsibility, you personally sign the death sentence to everything human that you have, you transform into a decorative dog that is not able to survive in real world- rats will eat.

Count on yourself

A bit of a religious quote from Stephen King, but he grasped the point perfectly. Many are waiting for help from space, good luck, various funds and even the government. The modern fairies and elves who have to bring bags of gold coins can be many real organizations like universities. The graduate thinks that he has a red diploma, he was trained, which means that locomotives of vacancies will soon fall on his head, but this does not happen, because he understands that he will have to achieve everything himself, and a piece of paper will not help much. The same thing happens in moments of complete despair: we pray to higher powers to save us, having lost faith in ourselves. But if you do not believe in yourself, then why the hell should a conditional Buddha help you? You have already decided everything for yourself.

Don't be your own enemy

This is what I liked at Hecaton today: “You ask, what have I achieved? I have become my own friend! " He achieved a lot, for now he will never be alone. And know: such a person will be a friend to everyone.
- Lucius Anney Seneca -

Alcohol, drugs, gluttony and gambling addiction - an overabundance of these wonderful things is killing you. But a person still turns to them when something terrible happens. He wants to forget himself, relax, get into a fairy-tale world, where there are no problems - it is a pleasure. This is not an option. Thus, you only destroy your nervous system, body and soul. And, of course, the time that could have been spent trying to get out of the hole where you fell. No, we are not against alcohol and cigarettes, but at critical moments it is better to refuse them - there is too much temptation to cross the line of what is permissible and learn what an addiction you would not wish on anyone.

Stop Blaming the World for Troubles

Well, your friend did a terrible thing, they fired you, and they found some rubbish in your body. It is logical to assume that not only you are to blame for all these troubles, but also your environment, and maybe even whole system, the government, the economy, and indeed the whole world. You think that in the era of the Vikings your life would be more beautiful, but here there is only one kingdom of vicious consumerism. But the problem is not in the world - the problem is in you. Too often you blame others, point out mistakes to them, and don't want to see your flaws. In moments of decline in bodily and spiritual strength, such entertainment will come out on your side. Stop blaming and start looking for reasons - understanding them will lead to a plan of action that will help you cope with difficulties.

Do not wait, but act

Just imagine. You are a fish, you live in a pond, and the pond dries up. You need to mutate into an amphibian, but someone sticks to you and persuades you to stay in the pond, they say, everything will work out.
- And The Hippos Boiled In Their Pools, William S. Burroughs, Jack Kerouac -

Sometimes the right decision lies on the surface, but you do not make it, because there are “smart people” who tell you: there is no need to rush, you can lose everything; Appreciate what you have! But the world works according to different laws. If you want to lose something, then the best thing you can do is to be inactive. Inaction makes you food for the other predatory inhabitants of the country. And action, on the other hand, makes the world an object with which to interact. That is, if you want to correct the deplorable reality, then you need to act and act strenuously. You can't stand in one place and think that everything will work out - nothing will.

Clients often come to me who describe something like this: “there was a blessed life, everything was fine, according to plan, measured, without stress, and suddenly….
A series of troubles, losses, and here I am in a hole, and I don't know how to get out ...
They said - spoilage, walked, took pictures, but the situation did not improve, I don’t know what to do ... ”.

For the most part, this situation is the triggering of the action of the injury. Moreover, the trauma could have occurred both on the eve of the period of the onset of problems in life, and long ago, in early childhood, or even not in your life.

We all live in information fields. The field of our family (ancestral field), the field of the country, the field of the collective, etc., etc. And in these fields there are huge layers of information that we read.
Generic information is always present in our field, we live in it. And it happens that a moment comes and you have a birth trauma. An injury that happened to one of your ancestors long before you were born.
Why exactly with you? It's even a shame, isn't it ?!
The point is that trauma always strives for healing. This is her nature. If a person died without healing his trauma, then it hangs in the field of the clan and is constantly looking for someone who can heal it. Examples include repetitive family fates, suicides, loneliness, or the loss of spouses by women.
I had a client who told me that in a family all women always lived alone, without men. Husbands were with them only for the first year (or a little more) of life together. Then they either died or left. Further, the scenario is the same - women alone raised children (they were always girls), lived a hard life, always denying themselves everything, relations did not work out anymore, raising a daughter, watching her fate, which turned out to be a copy of the mother's fate, helped to raise her granddaughter a little and were leaving. And so 4 generations (everyone about whom my client knew). What is this rock? Karma? No, it's trauma. 2 sessions with my client and we healed our trauma. 5 years have passed since then. She is happily married, her husband has become a full-fledged father to her daughter and her brother is already growing up. Here's a happy ending to the story, or rather the trauma.
Why did the trauma start in her? After all, my client had a sister who was happy in personal relationships. It's a difficult question, but I think that such a trauma chooses us, chooses the one who can, who has the strength, the resource for it. Because the purpose of trauma is to heal. For the survival of the family. And this will happen even if you have to donate by someone from the family.

This is evidenced by cases of repeated suicide. A 36-year-old client turned to me with a complaint that she had been suffering from depression for about a year, had quit her job, spent most of the time on the couch, and did not want anything. The worst thing is that thoughts of suicide began to appear, that there was no point in continuing to live like this. And these thoughts are very frightening. Because there is another part of her that wants to live. Work, start a family, be happy. But that painful part is stronger and it puts you on the sofa and makes you stop your life.
We went to look for an injury. This was one of my most interesting therapeutic works. This woman had 7 generations of suicides in the family (we discovered this during the trauma), it all began, of course, from the first, several centuries ago, all the rest were victims of trauma, whom she chose, seeking to heal. She also chose my client, but only because she could cope with this problem.
In one session, we found and healed the trauma, the client got up from the couch, found a job, a loved one appeared, and all this happened just 4 months after the therapy (I remind you - ONLY ONE 2-HOUR SESSION!).
So if everything is bad for you, do not despair, perhaps it is you who have the mission of healing your family, clan, and your life. And this is very responsible. The fate of your children and future generations depends on this.

And if you explain your problems with the evil eye, damage or some other outside influence, then you definitely will not have the resource to change this.
I prefer to believe that the evil eye does not exist as such) And I recommend it to you.

Reader question:

Hello! I'm 32, I'm divorced. My life has been crumbling lately. With work I can’t decide in any way, I can’t get a job, no matter where I look, nothing comes of it. Relations with family and friends are nowhere worse, poor health. Tell me, please, what prayers to read in this case, when there is no happiness in life?

Archpriest Andrey Efanov answers:

What are you, young man, completely unstuck! Is it really possible! Only 32 years old! Come on, dear, take your mind! You are the master of your situation, with God's help, you will be able to correct it. Prayers are not an incantation, they are a living appeal to God, the Mother of God and the saints, as to a living person. Yes, they are all living people, even the Lord Himself was born and lived a human life, all the more he understands each of us, He Himself went through what people go through. Therefore, you need to improve your spiritual life as a whole. Come to a temple that you like, ask there, for example, where and when you can talk to a priest, and come to talk. In a personal live conversation, you will determine how and when you will come to confession, how you will pray, how often you will receive communion and participate in divine services. Gradually, you will begin to delve into church life, take a more sober view of yourself and your situation, relying on the experience of church tradition, correct your life and improve it.

Do not delay the conversation, for now, start reading the morning and evening prayers, and during the day pray briefly: "Lord, have mercy." Try to read the Gospel. Not all at once, gradually. What is unclear - see the interpretation. They are also available on the Internet.

And in parallel, do something yourself. Firstly, if you suddenly have depression, then you need to go to a psychologist and understand if it is serious. If it does not exist, then do not dissolve yourself, but act. You can calmly deal with your health: go to the doctor, undergo examinations, start doing exercises at least, drink vitamins, eat healthy food (learn how to cook better at the same time), and so on. This is generally the first thing - to improve your health!

If children were married - take care of them, help your wife with the child, you can - with money, no - determine the days of the week on which you will take the child or visit him. With his wife parted - this is with his wife. But you remain mom and dad! And the responsibility is on you.

With your family, see what you can do yourself. If you offended them - look where and how you can correct yourself, how to really help ... and pray. And there, God willing, and you will see how and what you yourself could have done here, what to change.

About work is a difficult question to write. But in no case should you sit at home! Search, ask everywhere, this is also a question of your health and salvation. You have to stand on your own feet. Remember what you know how to do, and start with at least something, just do not give up. This period will pass, and even better - you yourself can change it for something better, joyful and suitable for you.

What does happiness mean to be always happy, cheerful and attractive? But our life is not always full of funny, plush surprises - many of them seem to test us for strength and become a real test. At such moments, we easily lose control of both the situation and ourselves: we feel devastated, overwhelmed, helplessly falling into the abyss of despair. It seems that life is crumbling due to someone's malicious intent, and we are not able to resist this, because there is simply no strength. We feel unhappy.

But our not life can only be serene, otherwise it will be meaningless. We must periodically overcome trials, feel sadness - all this is important for the development of our personality. The main thing is to learn how to deal with these difficulties correctly. How is it "right"? This means not to lose heart, to remain calm, to be in harmony with yourself and the world. And this is possible even when everything is bad!

Of course, saying is harder than doing. We all know that ideally you need to "keep your nose to the wind", but how? We offer you 10 methods, using which you will learn how to cope with difficulties of any level, make the most of them and keep a spark of joy and hope in your soul.

  1. Start your day right. During times of depression and stress, it is unlikely that the first thing that comes to your mind is to jump up at seven in the morning and practice Ashtanga. Our strength at such moments is running out, and getting out from under the blanket and brushing our teeth is already a feat. And yet there is no question of improvement if you start your day wrong. First, awakening. No one forces you to wake up neither light nor dawn - the body really needs more sleep during difficult periods, but regularly waking up in the afternoon is not the most beneficial thing. Listen to your needs, but aim for about eight hours of sleep. A proper breakfast is equally important. Try to avoid unhealthy sweets that seem to improve your mood. Look further and opt for cereals, nutritious smoothies, or cottage cheese to provide you with the energy you need to get through your hardships. Put on calm music, watch something life-affirming, in other words, set the tone for your day.
  2. No internet... We are not encouraging you to venture into digital detox (which, of course, is also good), but we beg you to shorten your time on social networks. Very often, when our state of mind leaves much to be desired, for some reason we try to finish ourselves off: we look through the profiles of our acquaintances, compare ourselves with them, sometimes envy and almost always get upset. Someone is more beautiful than us, someone is more successful, someone is married - but all this only depressing, because our consciousness cannot process this information and turns it into a concentrated negative. Do not cheat yourself and do yourself a favor - go to social networks in extreme cases.
  3. Clean up... Yes, when there is chaos inside, it asks out and this is expressed in the disorder that surrounds you everywhere: a loaded desk, dirty dishes in the sink, a thick layer of dust on the bookshelves. In such an atmosphere, you feel more harmonious, as it suits your current situation cases. But if you go from the opposite, then, having cleaned up your house, you can "clean up" in your inner world. There are many stories when women who were experiencing severe stress (for example, divorce), unconsciously took general cleaning in the apartment, in their own purse - it brought them a feeling of relief and helped to understand themselves. Try this method.
  4. Know your irritants. Everyone has things that are difficult to resist or that are annoying - this is normal and you should not reproach yourself for it. But you need to learn to cope with them. Watch yourself: what annoys you? How can you avoid this? How to neutralize the harmful effect on you if this happened? Very often the "irritants" include people, routine matters, some kind of obligation ... The plan of action is as follows: avoid what can be avoided; do what needs to be done right away (don't delay); compensate for unpleasant things with pleasant ones (for example, an unpleasant meeting should be compensated pleasant shopping dresses, etc.)
  5. Do what you love more often. Write down on paper what gives you pleasure: meeting a friend, knitting, watching a TV series, walking around a specific place, your favorite dish, massage, and so on. Try to make it as detailed as possible, and then get down to doing it. During times of stress, the amount of pleasure in your life should be increased.
  6. Learn to say no. Don't step over yourself. Save your sense of duty until more positive times. If you feel that you do not want to meet with someone, go to someone's holiday or fulfill someone's request - do not do this, save your strength! Do not be shy.
  7. Breathe... As soon as you feel a fit of loneliness, sadness and suffering (which you will undoubtedly want to drink or seize, or something else destructive), go to a calm place for ten minutes, close your eyes and start breathing deeply. Don't underestimate the power of this breath. Not only can he solve your problem, but even if it does not happen, such a technique has a cumulative effect, which means that one day you will learn how to regain control of the situation in just 10 minutes. This is an amazing skill!
  8. Be kind to yourself. Disruptive behavior is very common among people who are depressed. Alcohol, junk food, cigarettes, breakdowns from a healthy lifestyle just ask to be your companions. Sometimes hurting ourselves gives us suspicious pleasure. But still try to resist these urges. This is also a matter of practice and at first it will seem like a waste of time and it is easier to wait for better times when you will have the strength to take care of yourself. Quite a slippery path and we do not recommend treading on it. Even in a disgusting mood, remember to be kind to yourself: encourage, cheer, praise and, of course, take care of yourself!
  9. Give thanks. This is generally one of the most difficult tasks, because in stressful moments, you would rather feel angry, accuse the villainous fate of injustice and “ruin someone’s mess”. But at the same time, it is thanksgiving that can bring you out of depression and give you happiness again. Spend more time with your loved ones, try to help them, be grateful for everything they have done for you (this may not be so easy, since all families are not perfect, but this is insanely important); try to be friendly to passers-by, hold the door for strangers, let people pass at pedestrian crossings, and always say “thank you” to yourself. It is in gratitude and love that our liberation from life's adversities lies. So don't be afraid to cultivate these feelings.
  10. Give yourself time. Sometimes nothing depends on us and you just need to put up with it. Life is obliged to lead us through all circles of despair, after which we await inspiration. An attempt to avoid trials, to lighten your burden may not be crowned with success, which can turn into a serious blow. Therefore, if you see that on this stage you have nothing "glued", perhaps it makes sense for you to just relax and watch what is happening. Everything will definitely work out, just not today. Give yourself time. Perhaps everything will not happen as you planned and not according to your deadlines, but in the end everything will be fine if you have a positive outlook and never despair!
Photo: istockphoto.com

Here's an interesting letter: " Hello Olga! Now my personal life has completely collapsed. The soul is empty and it is even unrealistic to think about any kind of love.
I loved my husband very much, did not demand anything in return (as you write), I only gave everything I could, and I could move mountains.
Do you know what the result is after 16 years of marriage?
We live like neighbors, everyone is in debt, there’s always no money, we don’t go anywhere, we’ve been on vacation only once, the owner of the house is not present, he’s not accustomed, and he doesn’t want to do it, we sleep in different rooms, there have been no close relationships for several years , and he doesn't care about all this.
And what now, how to live and what to believe?
And I just hate him - this is the result of my disinterested love. Respectfully yours, Galina. "
__________________________
Answer: Galina, hello! You have touched upon a very important issue: the giving of love and sacrifice. At first glance, there is a return in both cases. But in fact, the difference is colossal!
Giving love implies freedom! Internal freedom.
You can give from an excess, or you can give from a lack of love, as if in advance.
Often we relate to another, expecting the return of reciprocity, we believe that the person will understand, appreciate and return back what he received! True love never ends in hate.
But addiction, attachment, when passion subsides, when the conflict of desires and a sense of duty intensifies, often turns into negative experiences.

Most frequent question to me: "I gave him all of myself, and in return he ... nothing!"- this reproach towards the man suggests that the woman has lost herself in family relationships! The most important thing has been forgotten - we are in a relationship in order to develop! You cannot make another happy and still be unhappy. This does not happen - "playing with one goal", this is a mistake - giving all of yourself without reserve, you raise the other in your own, and in his eyes!
Forgetting about yourself as a woman, while loving a man “disinterestedly” actually means that the other person becomes the meaning of life.
He is elevated to the "throne", they literally serve him - they serve coffee, wash their feet ... But, in return, they expect generous gifts or, at least, mercy ...
If they don't even talk about it out loud - then, all the same - they are waiting!
It is reminiscent of giving alms with the thought that you have atoned for some sin, with the expectation that now you will be rewarded for your generosity ... Not quite an honest act, is it?
By his "good" deeds with a share of sober calculation, believing that someday he will appreciate and understand, putting another person in some kind of dependence on such an "advance of kindness" and at the same time noting to himself, somewhere in his mind - a plus, and to him - a minus , imperceptibly gaining superiority, we leave him only humiliation, without knowing it!
Let him see how kind and considerate, generous and caring I am!
But then, where does the discontent come from, why does irritation and the expectation of the return of kindness grow, when your kindness has become a habit, resentment and reproaches suddenly arise?
Think about why they say: "The road to hell is laid out by self-sacrifice!" is it because no one needs such sacrifices!

Anyone who is most grateful will tell you in response to your moaning: - "And I did not ask you about it!"

It is hard to imagine a good relationship, where there is no balance of giving and receiving, not tugging at the blanket, but a mutual union of equal partners! Such a relationship will be harmonious.
Some women refer to the fact that they melted into their husband, he is their idol and they are ready to serve him forever - with faith and truth.
Then do not complain, do not be offended and do not blame your partner for the youth and feelings you spent.
To demand nothing at all in return is also a form of sacrifice. It is important for a woman to be able to ask, but not through tears and suffering, but through her feminine uniqueness and wisdom.
As they say wise people: "For good he will not understand, for bad - certainly you will not force!"
Learn to ask like a woman, and not demand forcefully, through reproaches and threats, ultimatums - if you don't do it right now, then I'll leave and so on ...
There are many ways to get the desired result - negotiations, communication experience, constant interaction with a partner and, of course, mutual respect. But there is no need for a scandal and tearful scenes with reproaches ...

When one in the family does absolutely everything, it sometimes happens that the other does not even know that they want something from him or are impatiently expected when he will guess and understand at last! ...

If, however, you are more attentive and sensitive to the world around you, notice what is happening and draw conclusions, then you can change your life for the better!
If, however, let everything that happens at the behest of the waves, on its own, then you will have to understand that we have what we deserve.
It's no one to blame that everything is very bad ...
There is no need to give all of oneself to anyone ... This removes the responsibility for one's own life. You don't have to make anyone dependent. The words sound strange: "I cannot live without him!"
I would like to hear “I don’t want to live without him,” but what is it - I can’t, unless the conversation is about disability, helplessness of a loved one !?
Putting another in dependence on yourself, it is easy to fall into a terrible situation, zombie, attachment to another person. This is slavery, not harmony with a partner.
Another option for a relationship is to go through life together, but not lose yourself at the same time. Keep a reasonable distance.
But for such an option, you need to have inner freedom and courage. Understanding the state of "We", we are together, because we are growing.
If a relationship is deprived of growth, like a plant closed from the sun and water, without attention and care, such a relationship dies, like all living things.

If there is no relationship, why be there and torture each other?

Here you don't have to think about someone, but about yourself first of all. “What do I want, what worries me, what is happening to me, why? "
And frankly answer such questions to herself. Then there will be inner personal growth.
All life on earth grows and is created by universal love for further development.
When there is no love, relationships do not develop, stagnation lasts, rotting and dying off occurs, then heals and overgrows, like a forgotten and crushed reservoir.
If, in your family, problems drag on for many years, it is most likely that there is no longer any harmony in the relationship. There is only coexistence for some purpose, perhaps a temporary, and sometimes aimless existence and expectation of life changes from somewhere, then suddenly, one day, someone or something will change your present and finally water will flow under a pebble ...
Now the most important thing is your question:
- "What to believe and how to live?"
Firstly, “let off steam”, live through all emotions, let go of grievances, you have accumulated a lot of them, you don't need to save them further, there is nowhere to store them!
Track your thoughts. We get in life what we believe in! If you don’t believe in anything, who will believe you?
- If you are not listening, who will hear you?
Start giving. Give love, respect and joy, because you have it!
Do not feel sorry for the shown feelings and your love and kindness! Love will return to you, having given just a drop once - get two in return!
Reveal yourself as a woman who fell asleep, whom you forgot when you turned your mountains out of business and vanity ...
We must stop living for others and even think so, if we all live only for ourselves and everything we do is primarily for ourselves, for our self-esteem!
Don't try your best to be good, just be yourself. So be versatile.
Eliminate any sacrifice from your life.
If the relationship does not quite suit you today, but nevertheless continues, you can act in at least three ways:
1) leave everything as it is and suffer further or not suffer at all, but accept an inevitable circumstance in your life.
2. Quit everything and leave, leave ... You can't run away from yourself. You can escape from the unlearned lesson, but then you will not go up the level, and you will remain experiencing all over again. The lesson you have not learned will return to you in a different form, with a different person, with similar situations ... And problems will return again.
3. Take responsibility, understand - you deserve what you have now such a result. But don't blame yourself or judge your husband. There is no need to engage in self-flagellation, searching for and “eating the guilty”. You just need to realize that now you want to change everything!
Remember - If a person has a desire, then he has the opportunity to achieve the desired result.
Look for tools and opportunities, fix mistakes.
Changing yourself, you will notice that the world around you has suddenly imperceptibly changed for the better!
Start changing yourself, and the world and your environment will change for the better.
After such a radical purification and change, the spouses, as a rule, reconcile and live in perfect harmony or part painlessly, clearly understanding that now, each of them has their own way to different directions.

Good luck in your endeavors!

I wish you wisdom and love!

 

It might be helpful to read: