How to change your character for the better? How can a person change his character beyond recognition? Change for the better first

What does it take to change for the better?

Realize that perfect people don't exist.

Almost every person has their own shortcomings or bad habits. And when a person wants to change into better side, starting first new life, he begins the fight against bad habits.

These will be the first and important steps towards big changes because the most important thing is to have the desire to change and become better.

Make an action plan to change for the better

But to make your steps towards change more confident, we suggest planning your goals. Just set yourself realistically achievable goals. It is impossible to become better in one day, but you can try to try to change in a year.

Draw up and write down your action plan so that there is a note about the results next to each planned change.

Try to change your inner world for the better

Do good deeds towards other people, give a smile to others, do not close your eyes to injustice, and do not be indifferent. And you will feel a positive surge of energy, because doing good deeds is not only useful, but also pleasant.

Learn to be honest with yourself

If you want to change for the better, be honest. It turns out that being honest with yourself is much more difficult than with others. You will become a better person if you become honest.

And when you stop deceiving yourself, you will stop looking for someone to blame for your failures. You will know that success is only in your hands, and you will take action

To change yourself for the better, strive to become a person of action

The next step to change for the better will be the ability to keep your word. Try not to promise, but if you promise, do it. Never say what you cannot do.


Then others will respect you. They will talk about you as a person of business, and this, believe me, is important. And if you have already decided to change for the better, then learn to keep your promises to start with your children. And then - more - the ability to keep a word will become a habit with everyone around you.

How to change for the better? Find love in your heart

When trying to give advice on how to change for the better, love should be noted. A person cannot live without love. Even if you are trying to find your soul mate and live alone all the same, there is love in your heart, you just need to accept it in yourself. This is a change for the better.

Love nature, weather, music, loved ones. Do not be afraid to love, because only with love in the heart a person becomes better.

Internal changes are followed by external changes for the better.

Do not be afraid to experiment, try yourself in different images. Change the style of clothing, hairstyle and you will see how the attitude of others around you will change.

Many people say that from the new year I will start a new life. Don't wait for a certain moment, take it today Blank sheet paper and write on it all your shortcomings. Then burn it.

And let all your shortcomings burn out, and only good features will remain in you. And your life will change for the better. Believe me, you will succeed if you only want to.

Reading time 9 minutes

Just think... How often do we complain about our lives. Friends betray, loved ones deceive, chaos and injustice reigns around. At the same time, we do not even think that all the problems are in our head. To turn your life in a different direction, you need to start with yourself. This article will help you figure out how to change yourself for the better, how to love yourself and how to make a plan for self-development.

Man is a multifaceted, emotional being. Each of us has formed the concept of good and evil, views on life, attitude towards others. However, sooner or later we think about the need to change the character in order to become better. This is a rather difficult task, but with a serious attitude, the result will not be long in coming.

Why is it so hard to change?

The main reason lies in the unwillingness to admit the problem. It is much easier for us to shift the blame to others, coincidence or fate. At the same time, each person is convinced that he should be perceived as he is. In fact, this is the wrong position. To achieve a positive result, you need to work hard on yourself.
There are a number of reasons why a person does not dare to change, prefers to remain in the warm embrace of his own delusions:

  • Environment. This factor plays a huge role in the formation of character. The support of friends and family will help you achieve your goal. And vice versa, if a person is constantly told that he is a loser, that he can’t do anything and won’t achieve anything, he will believe in it, and eventually give up. Surround yourself with kind, understanding people;
  • Weak character. You see a problem, you understand that it needs to be solved, but you don’t have enough strength to start;
  • Difficulties. We often say that life is not fair. It gives many tests to some, less to others. To cope with any life difficulties, staying afloat is a real skill.

But how can you change yourself for the better? Our conservative self often prevents us from breaking the foundations of our own lives. It seems that it will do, nothing needs to be changed, all the same, it is stable. Therefore, first of all, it is necessary to prepare yourself for difficulties, be patient and take your will into a fist.

How to find strength in yourself and become better?

We are accustomed to endure to the last and remain silent, leave with lowered eyes. We do not dare to take a risk, to take a confident step towards a better life. It seems impossible for us to forget the past, let go of old grievances, conquer our own fears. Our fears and anxieties make it difficult to breathe deeply, to feel love for ourselves.

Surely you are tormented by the question of how to change yourself for the better. First, look around and try to identify what is pulling you down. If you are surrounded by a lot of ill-wishers, change your social circle.

Learn to appreciate what you have. You may not have purchased a luxurious house, but you have a cozy apartment. You do not have enough money for a beautiful life? But they love you, they wait, they care about you, and this is worth a lot. Learn to say "thank you" for what is given to you by fate.

Everyone is familiar with the word "little thing". We often say that it is not worth paying attention to the little things, but our whole life consists of them! Try to notice small pleasures every day. Very soon you will notice that life is much brighter, more beautiful. You will forget about depression and laziness.

Psychologists say that positive instructions can make thinking bright and actions decisive.
Just think, there are 365 days in a year. You can plan every day, week, month, set small goals, gradually go towards them. Do you want to live better, but do not know how to change yourself for the better? Take responsibility for your life.

5 Step Personal Development Plan

Not everyone knows how to draw up a self-development plan, what it is for. With the help of such a plan, you will be able to clearly prioritize, define goals and choose a path to achieve them. Don't be in a hurry. To understand what items you want to include in it, be completely alone and think about what you really desire.

Step 1: needs

At this stage, your task is to understand what you want to change. This will depend on your further actions. You need to understand what goals you will implement. You should not set global goals, there is a risk that you will break loose and return to your comfort zone again. It is better to engage in self-development gradually, moving from one task to another. If you like to sleep long, you can start by learning how to get up early;

Step 2: understanding

Before you begin to change your character and habits, you should understand whether you need it and why. At this stage, it does not matter what you want to achieve, it is much more important to have an irresistible desire, as well as willpower. If you realize that you are ready to leave your comfort zone forever and change, you can safely move on to the next stage;

Step 3: Knowing Yourself

Once you have set your goals, move on to introspection. At this stage, you need to understand what will help you in their implementation, and what is the opposite, what negative and positive traits of your character you can highlight. You shouldn't deceive yourself. Be as critical as possible. You can take a piece of paper, write down all the qualities that you can highlight. To compare whether your opinion coincides with the opinion of loved ones, you can give them a leaflet with the result;

Step 4: developing a strategy

You have successfully passed three stages and are ready to change the character, as well as the quality of life. Now start drawing up a plan of action. On the this stage don't contact friends or family. You should evaluate own forces, it will help you understand what you are ready to do. If you have planned to say goodbye to smoking forever, consider whether you can do it abruptly or better gradually. For reliability, write down the action plan on paper and hang it in the most visible place;

Step 5: Actions

This is the final stage of the self-development plan. Now the most important thing is to start working on yourself right now, without putting off until tomorrow. If you do not take action, all the preparatory steps will lose their meaning. Forget excuses! Take the first step boldly without anxiety or excitement. Along the way, you can write down your results, small victories over yourself. Gradually, you will be able to adjust the plan and find a way to change yourself for the better.

With the knowledge of how to make a self-development plan, you will achieve your goal faster, and you can also change your life.

In this matter, much depends on self-esteem. If a person is confident in his abilities and capabilities, he will quickly reach his goal.

Relationship between self-esteem and quality of life

It is important to understand that self-esteem is one of the main components of the personality of each person. People with high self-esteem achieve success faster, are not afraid of obstacles and cope with any difficulties.

Insecure people prefer to act as spectators. They do not show initiative, do not express their opinion. As a result, they experience dissatisfaction with life and fall into depression. Low self-esteem develops in early childhood. A child who is deprived of the support and love of his parents will not be able to objectively assess his capabilities.

Self-esteem of a person depends on 2 main factors:

  • internal(attitude towards oneself, susceptibility to criticism, features of character or appearance);
  • External(attitude of others).

It's no secret that all problems come from childhood and the peculiarities of family upbringing can leave an indelible mark on a person's character. If the child does not feel comfortable at home, he closes himself in the company of peers, which may make them want to mock him. Gradually, problems accumulate, and low self-esteem is formed.

Also plays an important role appearance. If a person does not like his body or appearance, he will not be able to feel confident. However, this is not a reason to withdraw into yourself. To radically change the situation and understand how to change yourself for the better, you need to do a lot of work.

Fortunately, even in adulthood a person can get rid of this problem and feel love for himself. Self-esteem has a lot to do with immunity. The higher it is, the easier it is for a person to overcome life's difficulties, accept criticism and achieve what he wants.

An insecure person is afraid to take rash steps and is influenced by the public. To increase self-esteem, a person needs to love himself and believe in himself.

How to boost a woman's self-esteem

A woman needs to love and appreciate herself. Low self-esteem makes her shy and withdrawn. With such a woman it is difficult to find a common language and build a good relationship. In addition, few people think about how she feels at the same time. It is unlikely that a huge number of complexes brings her pleasure.

There are many ways to help the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity believe in themselves:

Features of male self-esteem

By nature, a man has no right to be weak and weak-willed. Otherwise, he will not be able to take a meaningful place in society and life. Men often ask themselves the question of how to change themselves for the better and succeed.

To stay afloat, the stronger sex needs to keep the body and mind in good shape. It's no secret that erudite athletic men have no reason to self-flagellate. They are successful and know what they want. Going in for sports helps a man to throw out negative emotions and gives a feeling of calmness.

Do not forget about self-respect and value your time. If you notice people in your circle of friends who prefer to assert themselves at your expense, refuse to communicate with them. You won't lose anything.

Are you not appreciated at work? Change jobs. To a modern man, this may seem like a careless decision, but the result will not be long in coming. When you find a job where your efforts are appreciated, your life will sparkle with new colors.

Do not forget that all people are completely different, so do not constantly compare yourself with others. You need to focus only on your abilities, desires. Strive for your goals, based on your experience, strength.
Many men attach too much importance to the opinions of others. Such a position makes them closed. To increase self-esteem, learn to express your opinion and not be afraid that at this moment you will look funny or someone will not understand you.

To understand how to change yourself for the better, you need to understand what hinders your development, what character traits make you closed and start working on your mistakes. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, admit your mistakes.

The main thing is not to give up!

Much depends on the person's appearance. However, this is not a reason to reproach yourself. Everyone can make an effort and become better. For example, change your hairstyle or hair color, sign up for gym and fix the body. It is impossible to change yourself by sitting at home and feeling sorry for yourself. You should always strive for the best, to become better.
Since working on ourselves is not easy work, much depends on our habits.

21 days to change: man and habits

A habit is an action that a person performs automatically. It depends on his physical, psychological and emotional state.

Habits are the basis of our character. There are two main types of habits: good, bad. It is worth noting that bad habits are developed much faster, moreover, they do not require any effort. But in order to develop a useful habit, a person needs to overcome a number of physical and psychological barriers.

How to change yourself for the better with the help of good habits? Today, many people talk about the 21-day rule. According to him, a person can develop good habits within 21 days. The question is, is this or is it?
It should be said right away that this figure was not taken from the ceiling. Scientists had to conduct many experiments to come to the conclusion that such a period is needed for the formation of habits.

First of all, you need to learn how to bring things to the end. If you decide to change in 21 days, do not back down. Take a piece of paper, write down 10-15 habits that will help you become better. Pick the one that interests you the most and get started. The main condition is that you must perform this action daily.

It takes a lot of effort and patience to form a habit. Therefore, think carefully about whether you need this or that habit. For example, you decide to read historical books in the evenings, but after a while you notice that this process does not bring you any pleasure. In this case, it is better to abandon this venture.

How to change yourself for the better: conclusions

How to change yourself for the better? Start appreciating people! Learn to respect others, their needs, preferences. There is no shame in being kind. Treating other people with understanding, you can look at your life from an unexpected angle.

It is important to understand that working on yourself is an incredibly difficult task that requires a lot of time and effort. But if the decision to change is final, do not deviate from the path. Remember, people attract what they think about. Be patient, take small steps closer to your dream, getting better every day.
Do what you love, don't be afraid to experiment, enjoy life. After all, every day is special and unique.

Every person at least once in his life had the thought that he could not do something. These reflections are accompanied by experiences. Someone is able to find the cause in the outside world, and someone is trying to look into himself. And it is in the second case that quite often the question arises of how to change yourself for the better. It should be noted right away that this will be very, very difficult to achieve. And the biggest challenge is change. Not everyone is mentally prepared for them.

Sometimes a little is enough

Probably, everyone knows the proverb, which says that if there is a desire to change the world, then you need to start with yourself. In this review, we will not raise the issue of changes in the world. First you need to figure out how to change yourself for the better. And first of all, you need to determine what your problems are related to. You can change, for example, hairstyle. Thanks to this, you will be noticed by a person who is nearby, say, in public transport. He will want to get acquainted, you will start a relationship, a family will be formed, children will be born, and you will be able to become happy. What is the reason? And the fact that earlier you simply did not dare to change your hairstyle.

Even such a modest example can demonstrate that it is usually difficult for a person to find an answer to the question of how to change himself for the better. If he ceases to be afraid of change, then in his life, most likely, success will await him.

Create a list of problems

You can start with the most simple steps. Do you want to know how to change yourself for the better? Just create a list that will list the main reasons that prevent you from developing. You can note not only those problems that are in yourself. Everything should be written on a piece of paper. If it is impossible to formulate, then you can consult with loved ones. However, it is best to express your own thoughts. And know that not all the people with whom you have established communication can wish you well. And you can not say that they want you harm. They do not care.

In this regard, it can be noted that if you do not know how to change yourself for the better, become kinder, then you must independently create a list of the main reasons that prevent you from achieving what you want, or consult with the closest people you trust. Do not be afraid that the formation of the list may take several days. This is within the normal range, since it is impossible to remember everything at once. However, over time, you will have to form pairs consisting of a problem and its cause.

It is desirable to make a list in such a way that internal and external disadvantages are listed separately. For this, it is worth taking two sheets in order to clearly see what you need to fight. However, you should remember that it is much easier to change yourself than the people around you.

You have to deal with your problems

So, you asked yourself how to change yourself and your life for the better, and also formed a list of problems that prevent you from doing this. Now you can see your "enemy". It is with him that we must fight. And first of all, you need to start fighting with those shortcomings that are hidden in yourself. It is necessary to determine in what ways you can solve your problems, and write them on the same piece of paper. Naturally, the thought may come to you that such paperwork is not able to help answer the question of how to change yourself for the better externally and internally. However, it is not. In the event that you only think about your problem, you can forget about some of the ways to solve it. And in the form fixed on paper, they will be kept safe and sound. In addition, the list of solutions can be significantly reduced by analyzing and excluding what does not play a significant role. It's hard to do this mentally.

There won't be an easy way

And if you sat down at the table in order to make a list, despite the large amount of time that this may require, then this means that internally you led yourself to change.

It is worth preparing in advance for the fact that it simply will not happen. All goals are achieved gradually. Therefore, the problems will be solved not in one day, but at least in a few months. And in some situations, the period can be up to one year. And it should be understood that all long-term solutions to problems should be divided into separate points.

What will help you achieve what you want?

This is just one option on how to change yourself for the better. Self-development can occur with the help of other principles. They should be considered in more detail.

Having analyzed your problems and formed a specific action plan, you need to start implementing it. And the most important thing that needs to be done at this stage is to systematically repeat the solutions to the tasks set. You shouldn't take breaks. You will have to wait until the dream turns into reality.

Don't Forget About Your Feelings

In the event that you wanted to find a ready-made list of solutions, but could not do this, then you need to independently form an action plan. At this stage, you need to listen to yourself, take into account your intuition and rely only on the available resources. In addition, it is necessary to open up to external influences and begin to perceive incoming information. In order for this stage to pass more effectively, you need to try to achieve a state of complete calm.

Need to live in the present

You should remember such an expression as "live here and now." It can help answer the question of how to change yourself for the better. A teenager or an adult needs to fully concentrate on what is happening at the present moment in time. You should not be distracted by dreams and thoughts about the future. Just implement the previously formed plan here and now. This kind of thinking is a bit like meditation. With it, you can get rid of everything superfluous, from what gives a feeling of discomfort. At the same time, you can achieve what you want quickly enough, without being distracted by unnecessary emotions.

Keep moving forward

At the moment when there is no strength left on the emotional level to move forward on the path to change, you should move on to physical activity. For example, you can go to the pool or to the gym. This will not only relax you, but also help you gain confidence. What you want will get closer.

You need to persevere towards your goal. Self-improvement should not stop even for a second. The former way of life must be forgotten completely and irrevocably. Even the smallest step to the side can shift you to the very beginning, to where you started your development.

Treat the manifestations of life calmly

Embrace your life in all its manifestations. No need to try to change something from the outside. Be calm about everything. Change your attitude to what previously caused only bad emotions in you. At this stage, you must come to terms with the surrounding reality. Accordingly, you can devote all the main attention only to yourself, your inner world, self-development.

Conclusion

If you follow all the rules that were listed above, you can achieve what you want. Although it takes a long time, the first results will be noticeable at the very beginning. Only patience will help you reach the end point in your changes. Be prepared for this, and then success will find you.

There is a deep-seated feeling in all of us that we should act and think the way we act and think. It corresponds to our beliefs or is their expression. If there were no conviction, then there would be no manifestation of it. There is something in us that evokes excess weight leads to bad relationships, failure, poverty, frustration, etc.

How many times have you said to yourself: I will never do this again!” Despite this statement, you eat cake again, light a cigarette again, be rude to people you care about, etc., even though the day has not even ended when you made a promise to yourself not to do this again. And yet we do it.

And then we complicate the problem even more when we angrily say to ourselves: You don't have the slightest willpower!" And this makes even more difficult the unbearable burden of guilt that we already carry on our shoulders. Instead, tell yourself: I want to be free from the hidden desire to be unworthy all the time. I deserve all the best in life, and I allow myself to accept it with love.».

The attitude of many of us towards life is primarily a feeling of helplessness. We have long given up on life with its hopelessness and hopelessness. For some, the cause is countless disappointments, for others, constant pain, and so on. But the result is the same for everyone - a complete rejection of life and an unwillingness to see yourself and your life in a completely different way. Well, if you asked yourself the question: “what exactly causes constant disappointments in my life?” What is it that you give away so generously that causes others to annoy you so much? Everything you give, you get back. The more irritated you are, the more you create situations that irritate you. I wonder if you were annoyed now, reading the previous paragraph? If yes, then that's great! That's why you need to change! The decision to change Now let's talk about change and our desire to change. We all want our lives to change for the better, but we ourselves do not want to change. Let someone else change, let "they" change, and I'll wait. In order to change anyone else, you must first change yourself. And you must change internally. We must change the way we think, the way we speak, and what we say. Only then will the real change come. Personally, I have always been stubborn. Even when I made the decision to change, this stubbornness got in the way. But I still knew that this was where I needed to change. The more I hold on to a statement, the clearer it becomes to me that it is from that statement that I need to free myself. And only when you are convinced of this from your own experience, you can teach others. It seems to me that all excellent spiritual teachers had an unusually difficult childhood, went through pain and suffering, but learned to free themselves, which they began to teach others. Many good teachers are constantly working on themselves and this becomes their main occupation in life. Exercise "I want to change" Repeat the phrase: "I want to change for the better" as often as possible. While saying this phrase to yourself, touch your throat. The throat is the center where all the energy needed for change is concentrated. And be ready for change when it enters your life. Know also that if you think that somewhere you are unable to change yourself, that is where you need to change. “I want to change. I want to change." The forces of the Universe will automatically help you in your intention, and you will be surprised to discover more and more positive changes in your life. Another exercise Go to the mirror and say to yourself: "I want to change." Pay attention to how you feel about it. If you find yourself resisting or hesitating, ask yourself why? For God's sake, don't berate yourself, just celebrate it. Ask yourself what statement or thought makes you feel this way? You have to dissolve it, no matter. whether you know where you got it from or not. Go back to the mirror, look deeply into your eyes, touch your throat and say loudly 10 times: "I want to be free from all resistance." Working with a mirror helps a lot. Looking yourself in the eye and saying positive things about yourself is the most fast way get good results.

How can you change? Change your beliefs

Change your beliefs and your life will change ! Every thought we have can change! If unwanted thoughts come to you all the time, stop yourself on such thoughts and tell them: “Get out!” Instead, accept a thought that can bring you good luck. Self-improvement is based on three principles:

  • Desire to change.
  • Mind control.
  • Forgiving yourself and others.

We talked about the desire to change for the better above, let's talk about control over the mind. We are all much more than our minds. You probably think that the mind is responsible for everything in your life. But such a belief is based only on the fact that you think so.

Your mind is a tool that can be used this way and that way. He is always at your service. Turn off the chatterbox in your mind for a moment and think about the meaning of the statement: "your mind is your tool." And you decide how to use it.

The thoughts you choose create all your life situations. There is incredible power in thoughts and words. And when you learn to control your thoughts and words, you will be in harmony with this power. Don't think that your mind controls you. Quite the contrary, you control your mind.

Exercise "liberation"

Take a deep breath and then exhale all the air. Relax your body. Then say to yourself, “I want to be free. I release all tension. I release all my old beliefs. I feel calm. I am at peace with myself. I am in tune with the process of life itself. I'm safe".

Repeat this exercise three times. When you feel like you are in a difficult situation, repeat these phrases to yourself. And then they will become a part of you and will be so natural that all the tension and daily struggle gradually disappear from your life. So relax and think of something good. It's so easy.

physical relaxation

Sometimes we need to relax physically. Negative experiences from the situations we find ourselves in and the emotions we experience often remain in our body. One form of physical release from this is to close all the windows in your car or house and scream at the top of your lungs. Beating a pillow or bed with all your might is another harmless way.

Playing various sports or taking a brisk walk will lead to the same results. I once experienced a hell of a pain in my shoulder that lasted a day or two. I tried to ignore it, but it didn't disappear. Then I asked myself: “What’s going on, what’s the matter? What annoys me?" I couldn't find an answer, so I said to myself, "Well, let's see."

I put two large pillows on the bed and started hitting them as hard as I could. After the twelfth stroke, I knew exactly what annoyed me. Everything was clear, and I began to hit the pillows even harder and thus freed myself from feeling irritated. When I finished, I felt much better, and the next day the pain was completely gone.

Liberation from the past

Many of my patients say they cannot be happy now because they have been traumatized in the past. Because they didn't do something that they should have done. Because they don't have more than what they valued most in the world. Because they've been hurt and they can't love; something unpleasant happened earlier and they remember it. Because once they did something terrible and curse themselves for it. Because they can neither forgive nor forget

Constantly remembering your past means only hurting yourself more. Those who are guilty before us - they do not care. "They" don't even know the extent of our pain. Therefore, there is no point in concentrating your thoughts on the past. It is gone and cannot be changed. However, we can change our attitude to him.

Exercise "liberation from the past"

Let's look at the past only as a memory. If you remember what you wore in the third grade, then this memory will be without any emotional evaluation. The same applies to all events in your past.

As we become liberated, we become able to use all of our mental power in the present moment. We can change for the better. Again, watch your reaction. What will you need to do for this? How willing or willing are you to let go of your past? What is your resistance level?

Forgiveness

Our next step with you is forgiveness. Forgiveness is the answer to all questions and problems. I know from my own experience that when we have problems in our life, no matter what kind, it means that we need to forgive someone.

Love- the only answer to any of our problems, and the way to such a state - through forgiveness. Forgiveness dissolves resentment. There are several ways.

Exercise "dissolving resentment"

Sit somewhere quiet, relax. Imagine that you are in a darkened theater and there is a small stage in front of you. Put on the stage the person you need to forgive (the person you hate the most in the world). This person may be alive or dead, and your hatred may be both in the past and in the present.

When you clearly see this person, imagine that something good is happening to him, something that is of great importance to this person. Imagine him smiling and happy. Hold this image in your mind for a few minutes and then let it disappear.

Then, when the person you want to forgive leaves the stage, put yourself there. Imagine that only good things happen to you. Imagine yourself happy and smiling. And know that there is enough goodness in the universe for all of us.

This exercise dissolves the dark clouds of accumulated resentment. Some will find this exercise very difficult. Every time you make it, you can draw in your imagination different people. Do this exercise once a day for a month and see how much easier life becomes for you.

Exercise "mental representation"

Here is another very good exercise. Imagine yourself as a small child (5-6 years old). Look deeply into this child's eyes. Try to see deep longing and understand that this longing is for love for you. Reach out your arms and hug this little child, hold him to your chest. Tell him how much you love him. Say that you admire his mind, and if he makes mistakes, then this is nothing, everyone makes them.

Promise him that you will always come to his aid if necessary. Now let the child become very small, the size of a pea. Put it in your heart. Let him settle there. When you look down, you will see his little face and you will be able to give him all your love, which is so important to him.

Now imagine your mother when she was 4-5 years old, scared and longing for love. Stretch out your hands to her and tell her how much you love her. Tell her that she can count on you no matter what. When she calms down and feels safe, take her to your heart.

Now imagine your father as a little boy of 3-4 years old, he is also very afraid of something and cries loudly, inconsolably. You will see tears streaming down his face. You now know how to soothe young children. Hold him close to your chest and feel his trembling body. Calm him down. Let him feel your love. Tell him that you will always be by his side.

When his tears dry, let him also become very tiny. Put him in your heart with you and your mom. Love them all, for there is nothing more sacred than the love of little children. There is enough love in your heart to heal our entire planet. But let's heal ourselves first. Feel the warmth spreading through your body. Softness and tenderness. Let this precious feeling begin to change your life.

My schedule

My day usually goes like this: when I wake up in the morning, before I open my eyes, I give thanks for everything I have. After a shower, I meditate and pray for about half an hour. Then morning exercises (15 minutes). Sometimes I do gymnastics along with the 6-hour morning program on TV.

My breakfast consists of fruits and herbal tea. I thank Mother Earth again for sending me food. Before lunch, I go to the mirror and do the exercises: I either say them or sing them. These are type statements:

  • Louise, you are beautiful and I love you.
  • This is the most beautiful day of my life.
  • Everything you need to know will come to you.
  • Everything is fine.

I usually have a big salad for lunch. Once again, I bless my food and give thanks. Somewhere in the afternoon I listen to a tape with statements. For dinner, I eat steamed vegetables and porridge. Sometimes chicken or fish. For my body, simple food is best. In the evening I read or study. When I go to bed, I mentally recall the past day and bless it. I say that I will sleep perfectly and wake up in the morning for a beautiful day. Sounds strange, doesn't it?

So, how do you start your day? What do you say or think in the morning when you wake up? I remember a time when, waking up in the morning, I thought: “My God, I have to wake up again. Another day". And I got exactly the day I imagined. One trouble after another. Now, before I open my eyes, I give thanks for the good sleep and for all the good things in my life.

About work

Some of us, dissatisfied with our chosen career, constantly think:

  • I can't stand my job.
  • I hate my job.
  • I don't make enough money.
  • I am not appreciated at work.
  • I just don't know what to do.

These are negative thoughts that bring you a lot of harm. How do you think to find Good work if you think like that all the time? It's called approaching a problem from the wrong end. If you currently have a job that you hate for some reason, you need to do the following.

Start by blessing your current job, because it is a necessary milestone on your path. You are now where your life beliefs have taken you. So start blessing everything at your job: the building you work in, the elevator, the rooms, the furniture and equipment, the people you interact with.

If you want to leave this job, then constantly tell yourself that you are releasing this job with love and giving it to a person who will be just happy in it. And know that in reality, many aspire to the position that you occupy at work.

“I am open and ready to accept a job that would use my abilities and talents. This new job will allow me to realize all my creative abilities and will satisfy me. If someone at work bothers you, bless that person every time you think of them.

Although we do not choose to do so, it is important to know that in each of us there is a little of Hitler and of Jesus Christ ... If such a person is critical, imagine him as a person who praises everyone: if he is cruel, tell yourself that he is gentle and fair. If you see only good in people, then they will show you their excellent qualities, regardless of how they behave with others.

© Louise Hay. Heal your life. The strength is within us. - M., 1996

Millions of people are thinking about how to start a new life and change themselves, but they do nothing.

Let's find out how any person can become completely different.

Is it possible?

Can a person change drastically?

Can you change your temperament? Is it possible to change your life script, destiny?

To begin with, it is important to answer the question: is a person capable of changing so that practically become a different person?

When we live in certain conditions, nothing new happens around us, then there is no incentive for development. In this case, it is almost impossible to change, especially if there is no motivation.

Man lives in his comfort zone. Yes, he has a small salary, an unsuccessful personal life, but he continues to seem to want to change everything, but at the same time does nothing. always scary.

Our actions, goals, motivation are influenced by the factors that have developed in the process. social development features of the psyche and personality. The basis of character, what is given to us at birth, is.

It is almost impossible to change the type of the nervous system, although it is quite possible to learn to act differently, to develop specific traits in oneself.

For example, if he wants to be more active, sociable, then he will have to try and work on himself. quite capable of learning to control himself, although it is given to him with difficulty.

Over character traits can also work.

If you don't like certain personality traits, develop a plan to get rid of them.

There is a theory that we are destined for a certain fate, and we can't change it. However, the examples of many people refute this theory. For example, people born with flaws.

They could live on a disability pension and be content with that. But there are those who, despite the difficulties, work, achieve, become famous and respected people.

Part of the script is written into us from childhood. Parents, the closest environment instill in us attitudes, shape the character. Childhood trauma is especially strong.

But that doesn't mean that have to deal with it. It is in our power to change the script prescribed in us by our parents, we just need to identify what prevents us from becoming successful and achieving what we want.

What can be changed in yourself?

What would I like to change about myself? Yes almost anything. If you want to be more liberated, learn oratory, go to courses, trainings.

You do not like your temper - yoga classes will help. You understand that the muscles are weak, you are inferior to other people in endurance - why not go in for sports.

IN modern world a huge number of possibilities.

And it's not that we can't, but that we don't want to, we're afraid, we're lazy, we don't want to leave our familiar comfort zone.

But that's the only way change happens.

How to know what you want to change:

  • write your own and personality traits, evaluate what you would like to keep and what to get rid of;
  • list your accomplishments;
  • write what you would like to achieve, but have not achieved;
  • think about what prevented you from getting what you wanted;
  • who do you blame for failures - the outside world, parents, yourself;

If you can't decide on your own, then go to see a psychologist. He will conduct the appropriate tests and help you choose the direction of travel.

Choose a professional coach who deals specifically with the problem of self-development.

Where to begin?

How to change life for the better? Any change starts somewhere. They don't happen on their own. The exception is psychotraumatic situations when sharp reassessment of values.

Where to begin? Understand what exactly you want to change. Be realistic about your personality, achievements and mistakes. Don't be afraid to get to know yourself. Sometimes we know that we have some shortcomings, but consciousness does not adequately assess them.

If you can't do it yourself, ask people you trust.

Be prepared for criticism And don't be offended if you don't hear what you want.

Change is about motivation. Set goals for yourself: why change, what you want to achieve in the end, in what time frame.

How to change?

Now we move on to the most difficult stage: the process of changing your personality and life.

Your personality beyond recognition

Outward manifestation of personality this is our feature. If you know your weaknesses, work on them.

  1. Change your schedule drastically. Write a daily schedule, remove all unnecessary things that prevent you from reaching your goal.
  2. Pay attention to life successful people: read their biography, find out how they went to their goal, what obstacles they overcame. Get inspired by their experiences.
  3. Learn something new every day.
  4. Change your social circle. The social environment has a strong influence on us, it can inspire or bring us down.

    Eliminate losers, whiners, pessimists from your circle.

  5. Work on your character traits - improve the positive ones and try to get rid of the negative ones.

Inner world

How to change internally? Are you a pessimist or an optimist, or do you consider yourself a realist?

We see the world in black colors, pay attention to the negative, as a result, life gets worse and worse, and positive events disappear from our lives.

Try to look at the world with different eyes. It's not easy, especially at the beginning.

When you wake up, smile. Just smile to the new day even if your waiting hard work, spring-cleaning, a trip to a government agency.

Remember - you create your own world.

Do a little exercise: imagine that there is light around you, you radiate radiance into the world, and all people notice it. White, gentle light, emitting kindness, energy, warmth

You will see how your day will go differently, you will be noticed, complimented, and yours will be much better.

Thinking positive

How to change your thoughts to positive? Every day find something positive around you. Let it be the little things first. It began to rain - the weather conducive to relaxation and reflection.

Got nasty in transport - perhaps the world wants you to pay attention to something or this is a test of your emotional stamina. See the city with different eyes- architecture, thousands of people rushing to work.

Communicate as little as possible with negative people. Even if you consider them your friends, negativity is contagious.

That's why look for those with whom it is pleasant to communicate with whom you feel at ease, who increases your energy, and does not take away.

Positive thinking takes practice. At first it will be difficult to look for a positive, it will seem to you that everything is bad. But after three weeks, you will be surprised to notice how the world began to change, and you along with it.

Beliefs

First, decide if you really need to change them. If other people demand it, remember, beliefs - features of your personality. Don't change just because others want you to.

If you really want to change your beliefs, then read more, evaluate opinions, facts, look for the right ones.

Lifestyle

Everything is simple - start doing something right now. Not tomorrow, Monday, or New Year's Eve, but from now. If you want to get rid of a bad habit, do it immediately, do not wait for the right moment, because it will not come.

If you want to get up earlier - set an alarm, if one is not enough - set three. You will start to get used to the new regimen in a few days.

Waste a lot of time on useless activities - just stop doing them now- disable social media, remove the TV from the house, stop meeting people who take up your time and do not benefit you.

habits

How to force yourself to change your habits? Motivation is what matters.

Answer yourself a question Why do you want to change your habits? Look to the future.

If you smoke, then remember about the health, wrinkles, sagging skin, lung problems that will certainly await you in a few years. Bad habits is early aging.

You want to have a fresh and blooming look for as long as possible, be active, like the opposite sex - then get rid of the habit now. A person gets used to new conditions in about 21 days, you only need to hold out for three weeks.

Attitude to life

Develop your own optimism. Yes, everything seems to be bad. In fact, there are many beautiful things in the world. Life was hard at any time, but now we have so many opportunities that they must be used.

What gives you your pessimism? You see everything in black and gray. Worried about the health of bad wages, evil people. So start living for yourself. Enjoy life for yourself. Work and achieve for yourself.

Stop complaining. Remember: complainers and whiners are not liked. If you want to be pitied, stop yourself. No one cares about our problems, but your complaints will repel really worthy and positive people from you.

How to change for the better?

For a girl

Girls love strong guys capable of deeds.

They prefer those who keep their word, who can be trusted, with whom it is not scary to go through life.

How to change:

  • develop;
  • forget about aimless pastime;
  • work;
  • allocate time for joint rest;
  • respect the girl;
  • give her time, but do not be too intrusive - attention should not be overabundant, otherwise it will quickly get bored.

The most important thing- be purposeful, do not stop there.

For a guy

If you plan to live with a guy happily ever after, you will have to work on your personality.

No, in no case do you need to adapt to someone, remain yourself, but develop your best qualities.

What to do:

Worst thing you can think of... falsehood and pretense. Stay yourself, develop positive thinking and strive to be active in life.

Real stories of people

There are many examples of people who have decided to radically change their lives, and age is not a hindrance to this.

Daphne Selfe is 86 years old. Glory came to her after 70, when she decided to become a fashion model. Her husband died, the children became adults, and she faced a choice - like everyone else, spend old age in front of the TV or live for yourself.

Grant Aschats. Defeated cancer and fulfilled his dream - became a famous chef.

Susan Street is 59 years old. She lost weight after 50 years, and since then her life began to cardinal changes. She was able to survive the loss of a job, cancer, became a vegetarian, started her own blog and helps other people change.

There are thousands of such examples.

All you need is a push, a realization that your life is meaningless and wrong. Don't wait for the right moment, start changing from now on.

How to start a new life? 10 steps that will change you and your life:

 

It might be useful to read: