Where to start life. How to start a new life: advice from psychologists. What worries you

Perhaps, in the life of every person there were periods when they wanted to give up, cross out, erase, break and go away to burn the bridges behind them in order to start new life... How to start life with blank slate when all meaning is lost and disappointment in life reaches its climax? Adopt a number of groundbreaking changes!

Changes of any nature can be either rapid, harsh, all-encompassing - revolutionary, or soft, prolonged, gradual - evolutionary... Of course, evolution is better than revolution in changing your own life as well as in other areas.

Evolution is always less painful and destructive (both for the person himself and for those around him), but due to the fact that many people like to stretch their problems to the size of a catastrophe, it is often possible to solve them only in a revolutionary way. By analogy with the disease, we can say that while the life problem is small, it can be eliminated by taking pills, but if it is already life-threatening, a serious operation is needed.

For example, if a woman has already endured for ten years her unemployed, lounging and only doing that, begging her for money for a drink, hubby, while supporting him and the whole family, there is only one way out - divorce and eviction from the apartment. If the problem is that there is less passion and more routine in the relationship between husband and wife, an evolutionary method will do: make changes in everyday life, responsibilities, add extreme, novelty to life, change externally or internally to both or to one of the spouses and etc.

Is it easy to start life from scratch?

To start life from scratch, sometimes you need completely minor changes such as apartment renovation, conversation with wise man, a change of image or a trip to a country that you have long wanted to visit.

It happens that a new life begins imperceptibly as a result of the gradual development of the personality and self-improvement. But more often than not, people need fast and significant change life circumstances , which is unlikely to happen by itself (or it will take another life).

As a rule, several cardinal changes or a complete change in lifestyle are required at once. To start living from scratch, you need to put in front of yourself such goal.

Unfortunately, there are people (and there are many of them) who live in ignorance or unwillingness to change something, even if life brings them only suffering. Such people either consciously choose the path of torment, considering it the right one, or they simply find and receive unhealthy pleasure or hidden benefit from their torment.

What do they want people aware of the need life changes? Most often these are desires:

The problems that caused the desire to start life from scratch are different, each person is special (although they can be perceived by others as typical), but final goal one is a happy life.

Each person wants to be happy, the only difference is that some people expect happiness as a miracle and believe in such an opportunity for themselves, others always complain that they have got an unhappy lot and are not trying to change anything, and still others believe in better life and create it by their own labor.

Analyzing the old and designing a new life

The Russian language is unusually rich in meanings. Very often in words, stable phrases, sayings and proverbs, answers to many complex life questions are hidden.

So the phrase "start life from scratch" already contains the answer on how to do it: arm yourself with a blank sheet of paper and a pen. For what? In order to describe the desired new life and start turning the dream into reality.

There are no universal recommendations on how to start life from scratch, but psychologists recommend adhering to the following algorithm of actions:

The very first and foremost - understand that it is time to start life from scratch, to dare to do so, to overcome fears and self-doubt. There is simply no other way but to gain courage and courage.

You need to pick up a blank sheet of paper and write the title "My new, happy life!"

Answer two questions:

What prevents you from being happy?

The answers must be written under each other in the left half of the sheet.

This question is easy for most people to answer. All that gets in the way is the pressing problem: unloved job, loneliness, unfaithful husband / wife, self-doubt, excess weight, lack of money and so on.

You need to write down everything that comes to mind, and not only external interference, but also internal barriers. Then select and emphasize the largest and most other difficulties, life difficulties. It may be that there is only one main problem, and by pulling it like a thread, it will be possible to unwind the whole tangle of troubles. If such a problem is found, it needs to be highlighted.

What will make me happy?

Write down the answers also in the column only on the right, opposite the first list.

When answering this question, you need to try to be as precise as possible. If you need money, then how much, if a husband, which one, and so on.

As a result, you get two columns according to the content of very close ones, only in the first one the problems will be described, and in the second their solution. Perhaps one problem will have several solutions, or vice versa.

The solutions will be either cardinal, revolutionary, or milder, evolutionary.

For example, an annoying girlfriend interferes with living happily, every now and then calling on the phone and talking for hours about her problems (as a result, things are not done, the mood is zero, breakdowns at home and quarrels with them). For happiness, there is not enough either a sharp and complete break in relations with a friend (a drastic measure) or a gradual reduction in the time of communication with her (a milder measure).

You need to imagine, dream about how you want to live, and then write down or sketch all your desires on a piece of paper.

These dreams should not be transcendental, but achievable. Dreaming, to imagine is not what is accepted, it is fashionable to want in society, but what will fit, complement, make you truly happy.

One can imagine one day from happy life and describe it: where does it start, what kind of people are there, what the day is filled with, what is the work schedule, what kind of rest, and so on.

In fact, the picture of a happy life is a set of answers to the question "What will make me happy?"

From words to actions

After it becomes clear what needs to be eliminated for good and what needs to be brought into life in order for it to radically change in better side, you need to start taking action.

Naturally, every person after the done analytical work, drawing up a picture of a happy life, building new plans, their own goals, but as an example, active action helping to start living differently:

change of thinking from negative to positive,
increasing self-confidence, optimism,
taking responsibility for your own life,
changing of the living place,
change of social circle, environment,
change of occupation or place of work,
change of marital status,
acquiring a new hobby,
change of image, appearance,
getting rid of fears, complexes and other psychological problems,
resolving health problems,
getting rid of bad habits and addictions,
the acquisition of new, positive habits (walking in nature, reading, playing sports, living in the present and enjoying life, asking for forgiveness and forgiving, helping loved ones, others).

It is worth starting changes with the most important problem. For example, if life is poisoned by an unloved job, you first need to change it, perhaps all other aspects of life will improve by themselves after that.

If it's difficult to start with radical changes, you can tackle smaller ones, the main thing is begin.

The second thing to remember is that fundamental changes must be deliberate rather than hasty. When quitting a job, it is better to find another job in advance, or at least understand that you can find it. Leaving to live in another city, learn in advance and as much as possible about how people live there. Entering into a new relationship, take a closer look at your partner, and not through "rose-colored glasses".

What else is extremely important to know and not to forget when changing life is that any external changes are impossible without internal transformations... Sometimes only inner work above oneself and serves to change life.

For example, there is a huge difference when a person moves to a new place of residence due to the fact that he cannot fulfill himself as a professional and in another situation when he cannot stay in any job due to an irresponsible attitude to work. In the first case, the person will move, find himself and stay to live for a long time (maybe forever), and in the second, he will move from place to place, not realizing that it is not work or place of residence that needs to be changed, but himself.

Hence another important conclusion: you need know what mistakes were made earlier so as not to repeat them in the future. At the same time, remember that no one is immune from mistakes. In the new life, they, too, may be, but you should not perceive them as a failure, this is an experience and while you can still fix it, this should be done immediately, without dragging out or increasing the scale of the problems.

And finally, even if you have to step into nowhere, starting life from scratch, not knowing what lies ahead, it is better to take this risky step than to live your whole life feeling like an unhappy person.

People often start thinking about how to start life from scratch. There is a desire to change something for the better, to start building relationships with people, a career, life in a completely different way. For this, someone needs to change their place of work, move to another city, some stop communicating with individual acquaintances, and someone gets divorced. Sometimes, to start a new life, it is enough to make a number of changes, get rid of bad habits, transform the worldview. The main thing is to know exactly what to strive for. Outline your goals, feel free to get down to business. You can start life anew right now without shelving.

Defining new priorities
Have you decided that it's time to change something in life? Do you feel that negative factors hinder your development, do you lack fresh impressions, new acquaintances? Then it's time for you to start life from scratch. It's never too late to do it. Do not be embarrassed, do not be intimidated by changes: you quickly adapt to everything unknown, get invaluable experience. Immediately determine what exactly you are striving for, with what problems are already ripe.

Deficit of communication. Ironically, many people suffer from communication deficits. It's not about quantity. Think about whether your circle of acquaintances suits you? How much do they support you, inspire you with optimism? Sometimes it is the frequent communication with a certain circle of people that negatively affects the psychological state, self-esteem. Be open to new acquaintances, meet interesting people, go to evenings, receptions. It is quite possible that new friends will become a model for you in some way, give you a boost of optimism, lead you to curious ideas, and give an impetus for development.
Absence career growth, job satisfaction. Are you tired of waiting for a promotion? Are you still counting money to paycheck? Financial situation stable, but the work is very tiring for you physically, psychologically, does not bring satisfaction at all? Then you should think about changes in this area. It is important to be careful here. Weigh the pros and cons objectively so that leaving the service does not undermine your financial condition... Change, job search should not scare you in and of itself. Be objective. Perhaps there is already another path for you, promising and reliable, you just do not see it yet. Because they weren’t looking. Do this without delay.
Place of residence. Sometimes you can even move to another city to discover new opportunities. Appreciate this path too. If you are already convinced that there is not enough space for you in your city, you are unable to apply the knowledge and experience gained, to find a worthy place of work, you should think over a move plan and choose the most suitable geographic point. It's great if you have some friends and acquaintances there. In this case, the ability to clearly analyze everything, to find the best option plays a huge role. First of all, pay attention to the opportunities for employment, residence and planned spending in a particular area. You will also need to re-establish the necessary contacts, circle of acquaintances.
A family. In some cases, it is possible to start life from scratch only after a divorce, leaving the parental home. Unfortunately, relationships with spouses and relatives do not always work out well, which negatively affects a person's entire life. Sometimes there are paradoxical situations: it seems that people feel good with each other, but together they are constrained, dependent, cannot reveal their potential. It is necessary to change the situation in such a situation. It is not always necessary to completely stop communication, usually it is enough to "separate", start living in your own home, pay more attention to yourself and your personal life.
Appearance. Yes, this factor means the most to women. Someone may be surprised or laugh, but too big a nose, small breasts, curvy shapes can completely determine the psychological state of a woman, her view of the world. Feeling uncomfortable, embarrassed, annoyed, such a woman misses out on many opportunities to change her life for the better. The ideal option is to combine two solutions to the problem at once.
- One way is purely practical. You need to take care of yourself, seriously take up training, lose weight, and overshadow the existing shortcomings with newly discovered advantages, a newly created image, catchy and memorable.
- The second way is also necessary. It is important to rebuild internally, psychologically, to love and accept yourself. Then life will start from scratch.
Bad habits. It is often extremely difficult for a person to give up bad habits. They do not seem harmful for a long time, they have become a part of life. In this case, the inconvenience is felt, there is a negative effect. You feel it's time to change. Get started! And instead of old habits, develop new ones, replace the negative with the positive. Get used to love and appreciate yourself, take care of your health. Start life from scratch without annoying addiction to unpleasant habits.

Identify your top priorities. To start a new life, you need to find out exactly what exactly does not suit you in the current state of affairs. Once all the weaknesses are identified, it will be much easier for you to plan changes.

We develop a specific plan and implement ideas
Try to come up with concrete solutions right away. Find out exactly what steps you will take to start life from scratch. For example, those who want to give up the habit of smoking need to solve very specific problems: choose suitable exercises, form a diet, consult a doctor, and, if necessary, consult a psychologist. The same plan will be needed in any other case. Take action!

Right today. Don't delay implementing your solution. There is no need to wait for a new zodiacal year, a good arrangement of the stars. You yourself build your own destiny, why waste time? Get started now.
Writing a plan. Take a piece of paper and a pen, mark on paper all your goals and priorities. Write what is stopping you from living a full life, developing, realizing your potential. Immediately indicate what exactly you need to do in order to overcome obstacles, get rid of negative factors... Indicate the approximate time that you are going to spend on the implementation of your plans.
We keep a diary of achievements. Since you are already starting life from scratch, at the initial stage you will have a lot of things to do, both serious and less important, but also significant. You will change, transform your environment. Write down all your plans by day, do not confuse anything, be sure to note what you have already done. Daily review of your progress diary will be a great stimulus for further development. Any victory is pleasant, and when something did not work out, this is another reason to get down to business with redoubled zeal. All in your hands!
We do not lose our traditions. You don't have to "burn bridges" at all. Try to change everything smoothly, without abandoning yourself in the past, without breaking off relationships with people. You are not at war with yourself, the world around you. Why leave ruins behind? Let not a single person be offended. You are developing, you need to start a new life. Explain to yourself and others that this process is completely natural and logical. You just manage it yourself, and do not let everything go by itself.
Look at the changes positively! Even if something did not work out right away, you should not give up. Remember how you learned to walk as a child, often stumbled and fell. Do you think now when you walk, are you afraid of every new step? Just do whatever depends on you, act and go straight to the goal. You will certainly achieve the desired result.

Many people want to start life from scratch, but not all of them really get down to business. There is always a reason to postpone it "until better times." When you feel that it is really time to change and change your life, take everything into your own hands at once. Start today to see the result tomorrow. And you will have better times.

By nature itself lies in us the desire for renewal, which awakens every spring. Someone just needs to replenish their wardrobe with topical things of the season or change their haircut, but there are also many who would like more - to get rid of discomfort in relations with themselves and the world. The reasons for this dissonance, internal and external, can be very diverse, therefore, the tips below on how to easily start all over again cover different aspects of life.

But before you begin the path to your ideal self, remember: first, acceptance of the past must be the foundation of your improvements. Everything that was and once caused a strong emotional experience in you, you do not need to deny, try to forget or blame yourself for what happened. Take difficult situations as a lesson, as an experience that has made you wiser, and as insurance against new similar mistakes. Secondly, implement any changes smoothly, gradually, in portions. The English have a good expression babysteps, that is, literally "baby steps". It is used when it comes to small changes that, one after the other, ultimately lead to a significant improvement in something. Good luck in all your endeavors! We hope the suggested tips will help you with this.

A misunderstanding in any issue that has arisen between you and your child, husband, colleague, parents, girlfriend, can grow like a snowball and lead to a serious conflict. If you value a person, then, of course, strive to return his trust and disposition, to feel once again in a relationship with him on an equal footing. Psychologists advise in this case a simple technique - mentally get out of the situation and look at it from the side, as if you are a third person, an outsider and disinterested observer. Such “directing” the circumstances will help you see them in a new light and better understand your opponent: what is he right and what concessions are required from you, and where your arguments outweigh and how to convey them correctly to your counterpart.

#food: replacing "harmful" with useful

In the spring, the body, exhausted by the low sun and vitamin deficiency winter with its ARVI attacks, requires not fashionable strict diets that promise minus N kilograms by the beginning of the beach season. Balanced good nutrition will help you feel toned and enjoy your reflection in the mirror. To smoothly move on to it, we repeat, you do not need to sit down on a celery smoothie and wheat germ from Monday. Introduce small but effective improvements to your diet: for example, replace sausage with boiled meat, mayonnaise with natural yogurt without additives or sour cream, white bread with whole grain, and candy and sugar with fruits, dried fruits, frozen berries, or honey. Another effective technique is a small portion reduction. Nutritionists have proven that a 10-15% reduction in the usual amount of food on a plate per year helps to quietly and easily part with 3-5 kilograms of excess weight. And you don't need to starve or change your menu drastically.

# walking: more outdoor activity

Everyone has heard about the benefits and necessity of daily walks lasting at least an hour. How to make your time in the fresh air, especially on weekdays, reach the norm? For those who have a child or a pet that requires a walk, a dog is, of course, easier: you just need to increase the walking time, master new, longer routes. The rest can be advised not to use the car and the food delivery service to the apartment every day, walk part of the way home from work (at least three stops). Many, by the way, are disciplined by a pedometer - you can install it as an application on a smartphone, buy it as a separate gadget, or find it among your functions. wrist watch... Go to your health!

#sleep: the rightness of the Sleeping Beauty

Chronic fatigue syndrome and the burnout effect we earn not only by living in a busy rhythm of affairs, tasks, obligations. The habit of saving money on sleep contributes to increased stress levels, weight gain and even premature aging, since the body does not have time to recuperate. The recommended 7-9 hours in the arms of Morpheus will work a miracle with you: do not be surprised where the energy and desire to change everything around for the better, a smile and a radiant look, inspiration and, one might say, an ingenious approach to work duties, come from.

For appearance and health, the golden hours for falling asleep are considered to be the interval between ten in the evening and midnight. If you're in the habit of staying up late, move your bedtime toward the ideal bar gradually, going to bed 15 minutes earlier than usual each time. It is better to devote a couple of hours before bedtime not to TV and social networks, which litter the mind with unnecessary information, but to a walk (see the previous advice) and a good book.

#house: rearrangement of interior components

Changes in the house will help you and your loved ones to feel yourself in a new way. If the family's budget does not yet allow it to spend money on major repairs, large household appliances, facilitating housekeeping, and fashionable furniture, the effect of novelty will be given by low-cost changes. For example, rearranging interior items, replacing textiles - curtains, bedspreads, pillows, transplanting flowers into pots of the same color and design, purchasing a stylish set of dishes instead of scattered cups, plates and saucers, light repairs and similar improvements that please the eye.

#house: getting rid of unnecessary things

We continue to help the home and ourselves to be “saturated” with the pure energy of spring and be open to positive changes. It's not just the principles of feng shui, one of which implies the regular disposal of your living space from unnecessary things, both old and new, but not useful. However, those who do not share the fashionable Eastern teaching will be convinced by the arguments of psychologists. Experts confirm: disorganized, drowning in papers, folders and stationery workplace or a room in which there are too many things and furniture, especially old and broken ones, latently provoke irritability, internal discomfort, loss of energy and a desire to leave uncomfortable territory.

So we part with unnecessary things more courageously: toys, clothes and shoes will be welcomed in shelters, books - in community centers, libraries, bookcrossing points (free book exchange); waste paper, glass and plastic will be accepted at recycling centers. Let the principle be your guide: if a thing is not needed within a year, then you do not need it too much.

Sanfor Universal gel; Sanfor WC Gel; Sanfor for pipes; SANFOR Whiteness gel 3 in 1

# home: cleanliness is the guarantee of comfort

Of course, no life begins with a clean slate without a clean, in every sense of the space for it. Remember the proverb "What is it like at home, so is it yourself"? Cleaning is an important and regular necessity. It cannot be canceled, but you can and should change your attitude towards it. How can you make home maintenance easier, more modern and more efficient? Start saving time and energy by hiring the right helpers!

For example, gel Sanfor universal can replace ten (!) cleaning agents for different surfaces and areas of use throughout the house. The tool will easily and quickly clean plumbing fixtures, ceramic tiles, household appliances and other floor and wall coverings that allow wet cleaning.

Means Sanfor WC Gel will help bring shine to the washroom. It effectively dissolves water and urinary calculus and prevents its formation in toilets, removes rust, plaque, mold, grease and other stubborn dirt.

The water in the pipes, like the energy of the house, must circulate without interference. Active gel formula Sanfor for pipes is able to quickly remove even a strong blockage in sewage, dissolve not only grease and dirt, but also hair. The gel completely neutralizes the unpleasant odor that often accompanies clogging.

Another universal remedy necessary for putting spring gloss in your home is SANFOR Whiteness gel 3 in 1... It is a thick gel with an innovative whitening and stain removal formula. It is added when soaking linen, used to clean drains and drain pipes, to bring shine and cleanliness in the bathroom and toilet.

Let the most effective tools and helpers be in your seasonal arsenal of struggle for cleanliness of the house!

#new experience: going beyond the usual

We often feel tired of Groundhog Day - the familiar routine of things by heart, but at the same time we are afraid to change something in our life. Let a good new tradition be your vaccine against the fear of change - to do something unusual for yourself on a regular basis. Ever preferred yoga or Pilates? Take a trial step aerobics or strip plastic class. Are pantsuits and jeans predominant in your wardrobe? Buy the iconic all-time fashion item - a little black dress, and you will be pleasantly surprised by an ocean of compliments from colleagues and loved ones. Do you only order sushi and sashimi in a Japanese restaurant? Discover other dishes too: miso soup, teriyaki chicken or salmon, yakitori kebabs and more gourmet delights. Expanding the scope of our life experience, we acquire new knowledge and skills, enrich our erudition, make interesting acquaintances - in a word, we grow as a person.

#dreams: her own sorceress

No matter how old we are, our inner child remains with us. It is she, our princess, who dreams of a journey through decorous Europe or exotic Asia, a swing in a country house or a basket of roses for no reason, a sheath dress or boats displayed in the window of a luxury boutique. Pamper yourself as much as possible, without postponing for an unknown period of large, but quite realizable dreams. This remarkably raises both mood and self-confidence and self-esteem!

# self-development: exercise for the mind

By training your memory, you keep a clear head for years to come. No special efforts and no time is needed for this: add up the amount of purchases in your head, if there are no more than two to five positions in the check, while you are waiting in line at the checkout; memorize numbers mobile phones loved ones; solve crosswords; memorize your favorite aphorisms and poems. Desire to master foreign language is also a great brain gymnastics. Nobody forces you, like in school, to cram your grammar: listen to films without dubbing, sing along to the musicians, find a pen-friend on the social network in the country whose language you are learning. Be in great shape, not only physical but also intellectual!

It is not for nothing that it is believed that Big world in many ways influences our inner self-awareness and, conversely, what is in the soul determines the external picture. And we will support your desire to start everything from scratch by talking about the rules for quickly putting things in order in the house, how to deal with pollution, universal home cleaning products and other secrets of perfect cleaning.

Light and pleasant spring changes to you!

It happens that a moment comes in a person's life when there is a desire to start all over again, with a clean slate. Despite the fact that it may seem difficult or even impracticable to someone, it is quite real, because for a person there are no frames and boundaries, except for those that he himself created for himself in his consciousness, depriving himself of the opportunity to live better.

How to start life from scratch? To do this, you need to believe that any dreams come true. This is not a fantasy, but a fact that has many confirmations. Every day you see people around you who have achieved everything they wanted in life. Each of us would like to join their number, but instead of making any effort necessary to achieve the goal, we begin to invent reasons why we cannot do it.

There are many examples of how people who were born in very poor families found themselves at the height of fame and earned huge sums of money. What prevents you from being in their place? Life reason successful people should not make you feel envious, it is better to try to figure out what helped them achieve.

Many people believe that in order to start life from scratch, they are too old, lack any outstanding talents, or simply do not know how to do anything. However, even elderly people are mastering new professions and technologies, talent can be discovered in oneself by trying oneself in different directions, and learning something in our time is not a problem at all, since you can use books and the Internet for this.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start acting, because your life, your well-being and your success depend only on you!

Those who are seriously thinking about how to start life from scratch can use a few tips that will not only allow you to succeed in your endeavor, but also consolidate it.

Answer your questions about why and why you want your life to change. What do you expect from these changes? What negative consequences can these changes have and how can they be avoided? Make a plan of action for yourself, think over what you need to implement it, and set yourself a tough deadline for when you will begin to implement your plan.

Having in your hands such a plan, and not some ghostly idea of what needs to be done, you will get a much better chance that what you have outlined for yourself will be achieved. Plus, if you go off track at any point, this plan will help you get back on track.

If you seriously want to know about how to start life from scratch, say goodbye to your past, forget about your complexes and forgive all the insults you received earlier. Start a more positive and optimistic life. Focus on what you consider to be your best asset, developing faith in yourself and your success.

When you start changing your life, start by getting a new wardrobe. Get new clothes, start wearing new makeup and perfume, and change your hairstyle. It's even better if you can afford to collect all your old belongings and donate them to the poor. Develop your new style without the fear of combining and experimenting.

Change your habits, start exercising, train yourself to take evening walks. If you have any desires that you could not realize earlier due to lack of time or any other circumstances, try to fulfill them. If you dreamed of learning to dance - sign up for dancing. If you thought about starting to speak English - start attending relevant courses. Get yourself new ones, start doing a new hobby, read new books for you. Change everything as much as possible that will help you forget about your past life, otherwise all your efforts will turn to dust, and you will return to where you started.

There is nothing difficult in starting your life from scratch. Just believe in yourself, in your strengths for this, and start changing yourself not only externally, but also internally.

Whoever you are, if your life is not going the way you would like, you can start from scratch if you want. Nobody says it's easy, but if you plan to correct your past mistakes and strive for the life you really want to live, then you can become who you want, despite all the obstacles. Never let people who don’t believe in you undermine your faith in yourself or think that it’s impossible to be successful in your situation. If you ever have any doubts, remind yourself that starting over is a great way to change your life for the better, and the people who succeed are respected by everyone. Start your journey to a new life from the first step.

Steps

Part 1

How to make a life change plan

Determine what went wrong. Write down everything that did not happen in the way you wanted to put everything on the shelves. Instead of looking for excuses, be honest about what really happened. Sometimes, facing a situation that you could not control is more difficult than what happened due to your inaction or bad decisions. There are people who find it harder to admit that they contributed to or caused trouble. The turn in life begins when a person admits what happened.

Of course, not all the bad things that happened in your life were solely your fault. You may have become addicted or mishandled people, but it may also be that you did not grow up in a supportive environment or simply fell victim to a banal failure. Don't blame yourself for things you couldn't control, and learn to accept bouts of failure and try to fight them off instead of using them as excuses for your current situation.

Learn from your failures. Even if you're unlucky, there are always ways to soften the blow if you find yourself in a situation like this again. If you failed the exam, what was the problem? Are you distracted or poorly prepared? You retrained and on the exam were so worried that you could not remember anything? Has something important happened in your life, like breaking up a long-term relationship?
- Ask yourself these questions without judging or analyzing the answers. Don't make excuses and blame others - stop doing it from the beginning. You can only blame the other person as a last resort. If it turns out that he really is his fault, you will have to reconsider your priorities and relationship with this person. Friend, did one of your parents or your significant other constantly distract you from your studies with requests to pay attention to it? How can you learn to respect your personal space so that this does not happen during the next exams?
Consider if you need to reconsider your goal. While this may seem extreme to you, it can help you reevaluate the direction you want to go before making a plan to change your life. For example, do you have to go to university to excel in a profession that can make you happier? Would you be better off taking a shorter apprenticeship or vocational school? If you are physically active person and you will feel happier and more fulfilling when you see the result of your work, then scientific or office activities may not be as good a choice as construction, electrical, heating and ventilation, soldering, automotive mechanization, or forestry.
- Change your approach: Your new life should not be moving in the same direction as it failed last time. Life is about trial and error (not losses per se). This means that losing attempts are just attempts that have failed, for example, a medical or law university was not for you. If you went to study as a lawyer because of a passion for politics, perhaps active political activity, consulting on political campaigns, etc. the best option so that you can achieve your long-term goals.
Ask yourself what you can fix. What changes in your life can you make to prevent this happening again? If you are affected by a natural disaster, you can purchase emergency protection and store it in a more accessible place so that you can have everything you need with you in case the situation occurs again. If you lose your job or break up with a boyfriend / girlfriend, consider what you can do to prevent this from happening at your next job or in a future relationship.
- Perhaps certain people or situations were pulling you down and were one of the factors that led to failure. Reevaluate your relationship and consider if you have problem friends or acquaintances who are preventing you from becoming who you want. If so, then you may need to end the relationship.
Define your priorities and choose goals. Once you've found out what went wrong and why, it's time to plan your new life. A plan is not a clear timetable for your life. Its points can change over time, you will face obstacles and unexpected twists and turns and opportunities, no matter which path you choose. If you know what you want and more or less understand how to get it, then it's easier to start setting goals for short term to achieve what you want.
- Don't worry if you don't have a perfect 10-step plan for success. You may find it harder to reach your goal if you write something like Find Your Calling or Love Yourself More. Start with a few steps that you know will make things better. As you move forward, you will have a better idea of what you really want to be successful.
- The most important thing is to start taking action. While the expression "actions speaks more than words" may sound like a cliché, it is absolutely true. You can talk as much as you like about the fact that you are going to start a new life, but until you take the first step towards it, your words will not matter.
Talk about your plan with a friend or family member who can support you. It is best to talk to someone who was not involved with what happened, especially if they had a similar problem. When you are on the verge of dropping out of school, the situation can be salvaged. Talk to older students who have faced the same difficulties and find out how they got out of the situation. If you've had a breakup, ask others what they think about the way you behaved and what your boyfriend / girlfriend did. You might be surprised. Your friends might even have foreseen this outcome in advance.
- By sharing your struggles and worries with the person who cares about you, you may feel like you can really start from a clean slate and get some good advice.
- If you tell others about your plan, you may have a better chance of making it happen. If you actually tell someone that you want to turn your life around, there is a good chance that you will because you will feel responsible for what you say to that person. Thus, if you don't stick to the plan, you will feel like you are letting yourself down. and people who worry about you.
Decide on your intentions. It is desirable that they be preceded by earlier steps. Allocate time for these intentions, for example, you can devote several evenings to reading books. Sometimes determination and willpower help you fulfill your intentions. Sometimes you need to transform your life to do this. If you turn off the instant messaging program on your computer while you are doing homework, you will not be engrossed in long conversations with friends until the allotted time for study is over. Your life change plan can be built from a series of tiny steps. You won't be able to turn everything around in one day, but if you constantly make small changes in your life, you will achieve success.
- One of better ways to train willpower is to give yourself small rewards for each successfully completed item. Every time you do your homework, mark your accomplishments on a scale. Keeping track of small steps of progress and giving yourself small but frequent rewards is one of the best ways to achieve your goal. Think about how the game is built - how often and for what points you get points. If you distribute your rewards in the same way as points are credited in your favorite game, you can get the same effect to change your habits.
Get rid of your bad habits. For every bad habit, you have a real excuse. If you understand what needs and desires fill your bad habits, you can find the key to making them useful. Your favorite video game can give you more excitement than your studies because you earn points, you win windows appear, etc. If you use a point scale for academic achievement, set up a reward system and make the points small easier to get than in the game, it will help you deal with your problem. If you eat too much to be enjoyable but gain weight, replace that habit with something else that you enjoy.
- Each bad habit satisfies real needs, so your job is to figure out how to do this without hurting yourself or others and helping yourself achieve your goals, not putting yourself down.
Find people to support you. Usually, it is good if it is your parents or Good friends... You can't be the person who pulled you into this situation. Give less time and attention to people who are pulling you back. Getting angry with them means giving them time and attention. It is better to use this energy not for anger, but for the desire to surpass yourself and say: “I will do it. I will show them, ”how to use it against these people. Each time you complete another item on your list, you can tell them how great it is to take the next step forward.
- Of course, there will be obstacles in your way. It is natural. Therefore, it will be easier for you if you have people with whom you can talk about your plan, about successes and failures.
Look ahead firmly and don't trust anyone who thinks you won't be able to start a new life. If you've made progress before, then you have proof that you can reach heights. The more honest you are with yourself, the easier it will be for you to choose the best direction. The best path is the one that brings you joy, when real passion ignites your efforts, and the process is so enjoyable that you would do it even if you were not striving for the goal.
- Remember to enjoy it on the way to achieving your goal. Think of it not as a test, but as an exciting adventure that will have its successes and failures, but which will ultimately lead you to where you need to be.
Part 2
How to stay strong
1. Be positive about everything. It is important to remain optimistic and energetic on the path to your new life. While this may seem impossible (especially if you live in truly dire conditions), the more you try to look at each day with a smile instead of complaining and feeling overwhelmed, the more likely you are to get what you get. necessary. Instead of complaining, talk about something good in life that you are looking forward to. While you need to release negative emotions from time to time, focusing on the bad sides of life will only make it harder to deal with them.
  - If you spend time with happy and positive people it can also help you maintain a positive outlook on life. If you spend time with those who see only the worst in any situation, you are much more likely to feel the same way.
2. Stay confident. Sure, it's easy to get discouraged when you want to completely rebuild your life, but you have to remember the things you love yourself for instead of the ones you need to work on. While it's important to acknowledge your flaws and try to fix them whenever possible, it's also important to remember all the things you love yourself for and what makes you great. Make a list of your positive qualities and the things you excel at. Work on adding words and deeds to this list.
  - One way to boost your self-confidence is to do what you do well. Nothing will bring you more pleasure than being successful at something that comes easily to you.
  - While it can take a long time to build confidence, you can use it to design it, “fake it,” even if you don’t feel it. Stand upright, keep your head high, and look straight instead of down. Keep your arms at your sides to be open to opportunities, instead of shutting yourself off from new contacts. The more often you “fake” your confidence in this way, the more chances you have to actually feel it.
3. Feel responsible. It is important to be responsible for your actions and past mistakes that led to your present position. Once you've recognized where you went wrong, you can move forward much faster. If you persist in blaming the whole world for 100% of your problems, you won't feel like you have the means by which you can fix everything. If you are responsible for the negative moments in your life, then you will feel full responsibility for your accomplishments.
  
  Don't be too hard on yourself. While it is important to be responsible, it is equally important to treat yourself with care and forgiveness. Everyone makes mistakes, and you shouldn't think that you are a failure just because you went down the wrong path. Treat yourself with empathy, kindness, and compassion, and you will find it much easier to move forward. If you find fault with yourself, it will be almost impossible to feel confident and positive, and it will hinder you from achieving your goals.
  - Being self-critical is not the same as blaming yourself. Criticism helps: it shows why you do certain things and whether something else can be done. She defines the problem. Blaming yourself is pointless to torture yourself. You are already uncomfortable, and criticism will not motivate you to do something else. If you blame yourself or others, the situation may repeat itself. If this has happened more than once, seriously consider this possibility.
4. Apologize to everyone you hurt. It is important to correct old mistakes before moving forward with a pure soul. Think of everyone you might hurt or hurt when you were having a hard time. Try to apologize to them in person or writing and say how much you regret what happened. They may not completely forgive you or believe that you are actually going to change until you prove the opposite to them. But it's still a step towards better change.
  - If the thought that you have hurt someone is oppressive to you, it will be harder for you to move forward. While it can be hard to get rid of a bad past completely, apologizing to the people you hurt will take you a step in the right direction and feel confident.
5. Help others. You may feel like helping other people is the last thing you can do when you yourself can barely get your life in order. But if you are ready to stand firm on your feet and start living anew, slow down for a moment and help someone who needs it. This person can be a friend who is having a harder time now than you, a neighbor who is lonely, or even an adult who wants to learn how to use a computer.
  - By helping others, you will not only change their lives, but you will also see that you have a lot to offer society and the world at large.
6. Admit what you have lost in life. It takes a certain amount of courage to start over, but the reward is endless freedom. Recognize what you have lost and what you have given up in your present life. This way you will begin to realize what really matters to you. Self-honesty is very powerful driving force... It will help you become more attentive to yourself and your needs and choose the right path.

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