The rules of conflict-free communication in the modern world. Conflicting and conflict-free behavior. Show attention to the interlocutor

Police Colonel Alexander Karavaev, Professor of the Department of Criminology, Psychology and Pedagogy of the Omsk Academy of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia, Candidate of Pedagogical Sciences, Associate Professor

Knowledge of the characteristics of interpersonal conflicts, the reasons for their occurrence and how to manage them is an important component in vocational training any specialist.

Interpersonal conflicts cover almost all areas of human relations. Any conflict ultimately comes down to interpersonal. The experience of professional communication comes over the years, but the foundations of the correct approach to people should be specially formed by future law enforcement specialists in the process of psychological training, as in the conditions educational institutions, and in practice.

1. Forms and methods of conflict-free communication

Mastering the psychological culture of communication is associated with the need to master at least three of its main components (skills):

Understand people, adequately assessing their behavior;

Emotionally respond to their condition;

To choose in relation to each of them such a way of treatment, which, without disagreeing with the requirements of morality and responding to their individual characteristics, at the same time, in the best possible way ensures the effectiveness of solving professional problems.

In every culture, in every community of people there is a kind of "code" of approved models and rules of communication. Despite the fact that for each type of communication and for each individual situation a system of certain unwritten prohibitions and permits for the use of certain forms of behavior, ways of addressing each other has developed, there are also universal rules, the observance of which is desirable and even necessary in any interpersonal situations ... Their main meaning is to unite people, create a healthy social atmosphere, provide comfort in communication, create conditions for its development and improvement. In any communication, one should avoid such patterns of behavior that divide people, destroy their community. There are several of the most common moral rules, following which can help in the situation of any interpersonal interaction:

Avoid forms of treatment that demean the opponent;

- not to admit force pressure, threats of punishment in communication;

- to restrain manifestations of intolerance, irritability towards others;

- avoid arrogance and demonstrative opposition to other people.

The main point of these rules is not to belittle the dignity of others, not to create preconditions for tension and discomfort. Another moral condition for full communication is the expression of gratitude. Appreciation is a statement of the real fact of manifestation of the positive qualities of a person and his concrete contribution.

Factors influencing the culture of communication

The communication process will depend on, for example:

How familiar the leader is with a specific person with whom a relationship needs to be established;

In a normal or extreme situation, the leader has to communicate;

An employee came with a request or demand from the manager;

Communication began with or without aggravation of relations;

The official subordinate raises a question to the manager about something or does not want the communication to be of an official nature.

In addition, the official communication of the head is influenced by the processes taking place in society, in the police department as a whole.

Positively affect the process of official communication:

The atmosphere of democracy, publicity, openness of the "forbidden zones";

Meetings of the heads of internal affairs bodies with the public, press, radio and television workers;

Elements of ease in communication of the majority of employees;

Their awareness of the possibility of realizing the need to express the painful, "pour out the soul", "let off steam."

Often negatively affected on official communication:

Inattention to the social causes of delinquency;

Limited ability to influence social processes;

The imbalance "vertically" and "horizontally" within law enforcement agencies of mutual assessments of the degree of professionalism, independence, independence.

The factors hindering the normalization and optimization of official communication are also closed and limited communication in many police departments.

According to Western psychologists, after each minute of a conflict clarification of relations, a much longer period of mental adaptation to new realities is required - about six to twenty minutes, depending on the properties of the person's temperament and character. Accordingly, for this reason, managers should not scold their subordinates, even for a real offense, for more than two or three minutes, otherwise we risk losing a full-fledged employee for at least an hour. Unfortunately, there is no scientific data on the problem: for how many days does an employee who is attending the “study” of his colleagues “get out of hand” from day to day. According to some observations, most of our meetings and planning meetings turn into a similar "conveyor belt" of whipping up passions, stress and negative emotions, which naturally worsen the state of health and work results. As I would like to recommend to some heads of the internal affairs bodies old and, unfortunately, forgotten psychological methods and techniques of influencing subordinates - surprise and empathy, trust and personal request-assignment, irony and humor, illustration and information, suggestion and hint, reliance on the positive in the personality, creating perspectives and stimulating time. Our leaders do not practice individual conversations "over a cup of tea", there is no "open door" when you can easily go in without a call and an appointment.

To forms of conflict-free communication can also be attributed to the formed manners of employees. The manners that are formed in the course of studying etiquette are the way to behave, the external form of behavior, the treatment of other people, as well as the tone of voice, intonation and expressions used in speech. In addition, these are gestures, gait, facial expressions, gaze, posture characteristic of a person. Good manners usually include modest behavior, restraint in the expression of emotions (a kind of emotional culture), tactful and delicate attitude towards other people. Bad, bad manners usually include emotional promiscuity, boorish behavior, the use of obscene words in a public place, tactlessness and an unaesthetic, sloppy appearance.

The importance of the culture of human behavior is especially high in professional communication. The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates noted that the one who knows how to deal with people is good at both private and general affairs, and who does not know how, he makes mistakes here and there. Back in 1936, Dale Carnegie, a specialist in human relations, noticed that the success of a business person and his financial well-being only 15% depend on the level of his professional qualifications and 85% - on his ability to communicate with people. The Japanese spend hundreds of millions of dollars a year on training in good manners and advice on etiquette and culture. They are well aware that the success of any company largely depends on the ability of its employees to work together to achieve a common goal.

For everyday communication, especially when establishing contact, there are rules of good form, which are advisable for everyone, because they refer to formal (i.e. obligatory) etiquette.

The person who comes into contact reacts not only to the meaning of the words spoken by the police officer, but also to the way these words are pronounced. The interlocutors are always in verbal and non-verbal contact with each other.

Encouraging criticism ("Nothing, it will work next time").

Criticism-reproach ("Well, you, I was counting on you so").

Criticism-hope ("I am sure that you will not make more mistakes").

Analogy criticism (“At your age, I made the same mistakes”).

Criticism-praise ("The job was done well, but it could be better").

Criticism-concern ("I am concerned about the state of your affairs").

Criticism-regret ("I'm sorry, I don't even know how to help you").

Criticism-surprise ("As with your experience, this can be allowed").

Criticism-irony ("We did, we did, we did, there is nothing to say, they blinded").

Criticism-softening ("Probably, not only you are to blame for this").

Criticism is reproachful ("Well, I did not expect that you would be the one to blunder like that").

Criticism-remark ("They did not do that, consult in the future").

Criticism-warning ("Next time I will have to punish you").

Criticism-demand ("The work needs to be redone - definitely").

Challenge criticism (“There are so many mistakes, you cannot correct them yourself”).

Criticism-fear ("I'm afraid you won't do it next time").

2. Causes and conditions for the occurrence of interpersonal conflicts in service teams and ways to resolve them

The peculiarities of conflicts in police departments are due to the reasons that caused them. Without knowing the reasons, it is difficult to understand the mechanisms of the development and end of conflicts, and most importantly, to engage in their prevention. After all, prevention and prevention is the elimination of conditions and factors that cause conflicts.

The emergence and development of conflicts is traditionally conditioned by the action of four groups of factors and causes: objective, organizational and managerial, socio-psychological and personal. The first two groups of factors are objective, the third and fourth are mainly subjective.

Understanding the objective and subjective nature of the causes of conflicts is necessary when determining ways to prevent them, developing an optimal strategy for the leader's behavior in typical service conflicts.

Among objective reasons conflicts can be attributed to those circumstances of social interaction of employees, which led to a clash of their interests, opinions, attitudes, etc. Objective reasons lead to the creation of a pre-conflict situation - a component of a pre-conflict situation.

The loss of some employees' interest in the service often gives rise to a negative attitude towards work, which is expressed in violations of discipline, negligent performance official duties, contributes to a relatively high mobility (movement) of personnel between services and departments.

Among the most significant factors are the following: dissatisfaction with social conditions, the ability to improve their living conditions; insufficient amount of pay and its inconsistency with the nature and working conditions; legal and social insecurity; high degree of professional risk; lack of prospects for professional and career growth, as well as the possibility of choosing a job with more attractive conditions; lack of prestige of the profession; omissions in recruiting; poor organization of the service. The effect of such factors is intensified by the deficiencies in the functioning of the apparatus of these services, i.e. an abundance of "paperwork", shortcomings in the system of moral and material incentives. The most common objective reasons conflicts in the activities of police departments is precisely the dissatisfaction with social conditions. This was indicated by 66% of the interviewed managers of various levels from the total number of respondents and 61% of employees. Dissatisfaction with the money content was indicated by 100% of the respondents. Many (28%) noted that the cause of conflicts is the arbitrariness of bosses, a bad attitude towards subordinates. Conflicts between them are usually caused by: shortcomings in the organization of the performance of official tasks (33%); irrational use of office time and biased assessment of activities (28%); unlawful behavior and tactlessness of the leader (20%); unfair distribution of material and other incentive benefits among employees (12.7%). Only 11% of respondents expressed the opinion that conflicts arise due to violation of official discipline.

Subjective reasons conflicts are mainly associated with those individual psychological characteristics of employees that determine the choice of a conflict, and not any other way of resolving an objective contradiction. In almost any pre-conflict situation there is a choice - a conflict or one of the non-conflict ways of resolving it. The reasons for choosing a leader are subjective. These include:

Psychological unpreparedness to regulate one's own states caused by the "pressure" of responsibility, uncertainty and other similar facts;

Excessive harshness, distrust of subordinates;

Absence or insufficient degree of severity of the ability to see individual positive results with general unsatisfactory performance of an employee or a separate service;

Uncritical transfer of habits to work in a new team in the same way as in the previous one;

Own difficulties in defining a new line of behavior in connection with a promotion in the same team;

Difficulties in adapting to new environmental conditions.

The indicated prerequisites contribute and accompany the emergence of 20% of all noted contradictions and 26% of conflicts. Moreover, the manifestation of excessive harshness, distrust of subordinates in 7 cases out of 10 gave rise to conflicts.

Situational and managerial reasons caused by mistakes made by the heads of the internal affairs bodies and their subordinates in the process of solving service and operational tasks. Acceptance of the wrong management decision objectively creates the possibility of conflicts between managers and performers.

Manifestation personal reasons conflicts take place both in external environment activities, interaction with the object of activity and other citizens, and in intrasystem communication, joint performance of official tasks with other employees, contacts with the head. In the external environment of activity, the following manifestations can be considered:

1) confidence and sometimes self-confidence in their own infallibility in solving professional problems, excessive conceit and overestimated self-esteem;

2) the presence of an attitude towards "accusatory bias" in relation to other people, excessive suspicion, gross errors in the perception and assessment of other people, their actions and deeds;

3) "legal nihilism", which manifests itself in a disdainful attitude towards the requirements of the law, ignoring the requirements of the law and arbitrary interpretation of the law and by-laws;

4) "legal rigorism", which is a pronounced setting for tougher punishment, the application of more severe punishment to the offender, regardless of the characteristics of his personality and the situation of the offense;

5) stereotype of closeness, striving for excessive secrecy, giving imaginary significance to one's work, a tendency to overcontrol;

6) the transfer of their official role, professional skills and attitudes into off-duty relationships;

7) assimilation of elements of the criminal subculture (criminal jargon, norms of behavior, addressing another person, etc.) and their use in their activities;

8) "simplification of professional communication", expressed in a decrease in the culture and ethics of communication with citizens, addressing "you", the use of expressions that are offensive to other people, etc .;

9) the presence of an attitude to use only authoritative methods of influencing offenders and other citizens, neglecting methods of psychological influence, reaching agreement, resolving a conflict based on verbal influence, etc.

10) pedantry, excessive formalism in work and dragging out questions about making specific decisions within their competence.

In intrasystem management, in communication with leaders and colleagues, the following manifestations are possible:

1) "loss of initiative in work", expressed in orientation only to the execution of orders and orders of leaders, higher levels of management and oblivion of their personal job duties and responsibility;

2) setting on the priority of the current process of activity, the implementation of current tasks without regard to the achievement of the final results of the activity, "imitation of vigorous activity";

3) overestimation of the "old", customary methods of work and underestimation of the need to introduce new methods of activity, innovations;

4) an attitude towards the performance of formalized, documented professional actions with insufficient attention to a person;

5) professional egoism (egocentrism), which often blocks the effective interaction of employees of various IAB services and reduces the results of joint activities.

Often a manifestation of personal causes of conflicts is a consequence of the employee's appeal to inadequate protective mechanisms in his activities: rationalization (explanation of his illegal actions by the interests of disclosing and investigating a crime, etc.); revenge (for example, verbal abuse of detainees, etc.); substitution (for example, achieving a false sense of one's professional significance due to the external attributes of activity, etc.); isolation (reduction of contacts with other people outside the framework of their law enforcement system, narrowing of communication ties), etc.

Ways and methods of conflict resolution

In order to resolve the conflict, it is first of all necessary to analyze the conflict situation. This analysis includes the following areas:

1) Finding out the reasons, not the reasons for the conflict.

2) Determination of the conflict zone, i.e. involvement of certain forces; it is necessary to delimit the business sides of the conflict from interpersonal relations.

3) Clarification of the motives for involving people in the conflict. It should be remembered that the motivations (formulations), the explanation of the reasons may not coincide with the true motives, camouflage them.

4) Analysis of the direction of action helps to understand the true motives of the conflict, which are revealed in the means of the acting parties. When analyzing conflict situations in small groups, conversation cannot be avoided, and in conducting such conversations, it is necessary to strive for impartiality.

The main ways to prevent conflicts can be:

Constant concern for the satisfaction of the needs and requests of employees;

Selection and placement of employees, taking into account their individual psychological characteristics;

Compliance with the principle of social justice in any decisions affecting the interests of the collective and the individual;

Education of employees, the formation of a high psychological and pedagogical culture of communication in them, etc.

Regulation as a complex process involves a number of stages that are important to consider in management activities.

Stage 1. Recognizing the reality of conflict conflicting parties.

Stage 2. Legitimizing the conflict, that is, reaching an agreement between the conflicting parties on the recognition and observance of the established norms and rules of conflict interaction.

Stage 3. Institutionalization of the conflict, that is, the creation of appropriate bodies, working groups to regulate conflict interaction.

The resolution of the conflict may be complete or incomplete. Full resolution of the conflict is achieved by eliminating the causes, the subject of the conflict and conflict situations. Incomplete resolution of the conflict occurs when not all causes or conflict situations are eliminated.

Resolution methods: administrative (dismissal, transfer to another job, etc.); pedagogical (conversation, persuasion, request, explanation, etc.).

Basic models of personality behaviorin a conflict situation

Constructive(seeks to settle the conflict; aims at finding an acceptable solution; is distinguished by endurance and self-control, a benevolent attitude towards the opponent; open and sincere in communication).

Destructive(constantly strives to expand and aggravate the conflict; constantly belittles the partner, negatively evaluates his personality; shows suspicion and distrust of the opponent, violates the ethics of communication).

Conformist(passive, prone to concessions; inconsistent in assessments, judgments, behavior; easily agrees with the point of view of the opponent; avoids sensitive issues and personal responsibility).

From the position of an ATS officer, a constructive model is desirable and necessary. The danger of conformist behavior is that it promotes and sometimes provokes the aggressiveness of the opponent.

The productivity and fruitfulness of a business conflict depends on how comprehensively the leader takes into account:

The position and status of each of the parties to the conflict (manager and subordinate, senior and junior in age and rank, experienced or insufficiently experienced worker);

The nature of the exchange of views (the desire to understand each other, forget about personal prejudices, give the right to prove a different point of view, respond constructively to criticism aimed at improving management and operational and service activities);

Reasonableness of their position when summing up the discussion of controversial issues:

Recognition of a sharp divergence or coincidence of points of view;

Determination of the scope of the revealed disagreements and the scope of the undetected, about which a new discussion and clarification of positions is necessary;

Expression of sympathy for the participants in the conflict on business grounds;

Making a mutual apology if the conflicting parties violated the ethics of behavior.

Conflict-free interaction, analysis of conflicts, their causes, varieties and patterns of manifestation, helps each employee of the internal affairs bodies psychologically more competently solve the issues of forecasting and preventing conflict situations, choose adequate methods and techniques for practical resolution and removal of conflicts, on this basis - purposefully focus their efforts on increasing the level of organization of the team and the effective solution of official tasks.

Self-study questions:

1. The concept of conflict.

2. Algorithm of actions and psychotechnics in conflict management.

3. Techniques and rules for establishing and maintaining psychological contact.

4. Psychotechnics of conflict-free interaction.

Bibliography

1. Antsupov A.Ya., Shipilov A.I. Conflictology. Textbook. 3rd ed. - M.SPb., 2008.

2. Kibanov A.Ya., Vorozheikin I.E., Zakharov D.K. Conflictology. Textbook. - M., 2013.

3. Antsupov A.Ya., Shipilov A.I. Conflictology. New ways and techniques of prevention and resolution of conflicts. Textbook. 4th ed. - M., 2009.

4. Grishina N.V. The psychology of conflict. - SPb., 2008.

5. Karavaev A.F., Antigova L.N., Zverev V.O. Conflictology. Lecture course. - Omsk, 2009.

6. Karavaev A.F., Kilmashkina T.N., Medvedev I.G. Psychohygiene and psychoprophylaxis of crisis states of employees of internal affairs bodies. Tutorial... - Kemerovo, 2003.

7. Karavaev AF, Maryin MI, Petrov V. Fundamentals of psychoprophylaxis of professional deformation of the personality of employees of internal affairs bodies. Tutorial. - Omsk, 2007.

8. Kilmashkina T.N. Conflictology. Social conflicts... Textbook for universities. - M., 2009.

Test tasks (tests)

for self-control

1. What is not related to strategies of behavior in a conflict situation?

a) rivalry

b) cooperation

c) adaptation

d) avoidance

e) compromise

f) agreement

2. Conflict genes are:

a) words, actions (inaction) that can lead to conflict

b) manifestations of conflict

c) the reasons for the conflict due to the social status of the individual

d) personality states that occur after the resolution of the conflict

e) behavioral reactions of a person in a conflict

3. What type of conflictogens are the following actions:

order, threat, remark, criticism, mockery, accusation?

a) condescending attitude

b) negative attitude

c) mentoring attitude

d) violation of ethics

e) dishonesty and insincerity

4. What type of conflictogens are the following actions: humiliating consolation, humiliating praise, reproach, banter?

a) bragging

b) violation of ethics

c) regressive behavior

d) condescending attitude

e) negative attitude

5. An incident is:

a) the coincidence of circumstances that are the reason for the conflict

b) the true cause of the conflict

c) the accumulated contradictions associated with the activities of the subjects of social interaction, which create the basis for a real confrontation between them

d) what caused the conflict

e) necessary condition conflict

6. What does not apply to the mechanisms of mutual understanding and interpersonal cognition that affect the adequacy of the formation of the image of the perceived object?

a) projection - transferring the mental characteristics of the subject to the object

b) stereotyping - referring an object to one of the types known to the subject, as a result of the desire or the need to draw conclusions based on limited information

c) primitivization - the subject's smoothing out of the actually existing contradictory psychological characteristics of the object

d) idealization - endowing an object with extremely positive qualities, regardless of real behavior

e) avoidance - escape strategy

7. Conflict is:

a) difficult to resolve contradiction associated with acute emotional experiences

b) the most acute way of resolving significant contradictions arising in the process of interaction, which consists in counteracting the subjects of conflicts and usually accompanied by negative emotions

c) open confrontation, a clash of two or more parties, the reasons for which are incompatible needs, interests, values, motives or judgments

a) forecasting, prevention (stimulation), regulation, permission

b) forecasting, prevention (stimulation), resolution

c) forecasting, warning, resolution

d) forecasting, analysis, warning, resolution

e) analysis of a conflict situation, forecasting, warning, resolution

9. Conflict management is:

a) purposeful impact on the process of its dynamics

b) purposeful, due to the objective laws of influence on the process of its dynamics in the interests of the development or destruction of that social system this conflict is related to

c) purposeful impact on the conflicting in the interests of reducing the level of tension between them

d) purposeful, conditioned by objective laws of influence on the process of forming an adequate image of a conflict situation among those in conflict in the interests of reducing the level of tension between them

e) purposeful impact on the motives of the conflicting

10. What causes the conflict is:

a) the motives of the conflict

b) the positions of the conflicting parties

c) the subject of the conflict

d) the parties to the conflict

e) image of a conflict situation

11. What concerns the form of conflict resolution?

a) concession, compromise, withdrawal, cooperation

b) censure, humor, persuasion, concession

c) concession, demand, persuasion, criticism

d) demand, criticism, persuasion, humor

e) submission, reconciliation, persuasion, consent

12. Technology rational behavior in conflict

a) a set of methods of psychological correction aimed

to ensure constructive interaction between conflicting parties based on self-control of their emotions

b) a set of ways to influence the employee, allowing you to achieve your goals in a conflict

c) a type of psychological influence, the skillful execution of which leads to the latent excitement of the opponent's intentions that do not coincide with his actually existing desires

d) maintaining high self-esteem in the negotiation process

e) calm reaction to the opponent's emotional actions

13. The principles of conflict management are:

a) publicity, objectivity and adequacy of the assessment of the conflict, reliance on public opinion, the complex use of methods and techniques of influence

b) publicity, objectivity and adequacy of the assessment of the conflict, reliance on public opinion

c) a specific situational approach, publicity, reliance on positive traits conflicting, application of the biographical method

d) publicity, reliance on public opinion, consideration of the interests of management, forecasting

Conflict- This is the interaction of two or more people who have mutually exclusive goals (at least, perceived as such) and implement them one to the detriment of the other. At the heart of any conflict - conflict situation . In turn, in the structure of the conflict situation, one can distinguish parties to the conflict and its object is what caused the conflict, what each of its participants claims to be.

An objectconflict can be both material (for example, some prestigious thing) and ideal (rules of conduct, status in a group, etc.). A conflict situation can exist long before a conflict arises, without manifesting itself in any way. For example, in a room where a poet, musician and football player live, there is one TV set. A conflict can arise only when they simultaneously express a desire to watch their favorite programs: one is an evening of poetry, another is a concert, the third is football, and they try to take possession of the control panel. Such actions of the conditional inhabitants of the room are called incident .

Many conflicts between people are complicated by the presence of unspoken thoughts and feelings. In this case, it is recommended to use the type of "I-statements": "I am offended." “I’m angry,” and so on. In this case, "attack" the problem, not the person. This, for example, means that the statement “you play loud music on purpose to annoy me” should be rephrased something like this: “When I hear loud music from you, it’s difficult for me to concentrate, because it irritates me”. It is also important to learn about what the other person is thinking and feeling. Try to take the position of the other person and look at the situation "through his eyes."

Rules for conflict-free communication:

In your speech, watch for words that can cause resentment or negative reaction of the employee and provoke a conflict situation in the team. These words or phrases are called conflictogens, since they are aimed at provoking the same communication from the side interacting with you. Never use conflictogens in communication with people with whom you have a common activity.
If you have heard in the address to you colleagues the words - conflictogens, do not answer him same so as not to allow the conflict situation to spread. Believe me, ignoring such words does not mean your weakness and submission, but on the contrary emphasizes your strength as a specialist. For a colleague who directs conflicts against you, your such unexpected reaction will make his words meaningless. Conflict genes directed at you will lose their power and significance;
When interacting and discussing a question you do not understand or a question with which you do not agree, try to put yourself in the shoes of your interlocutor and understand his point of view and feelings, which are moved by him in this case. Demonstrate respect for a colleague's opinion. Create a friendly attitude in any interaction;
Approach any person from the standpoint of a humanistic attitude: benevolently, sympathetically, respectfully. There is a kind and friendly participation in every colleague, if you initially assume these qualities in him.
Try to be balanced, calm, and confident in your interactions with people. Remember that confidence and arrogance are not the same concepts;
In case of aggression and conflict genes directed against you, change the topic of conversation for a while .;
Don't hide your negative feelings caused by the discussion from your interlocutor. Calmly, and in the correct form, demonstrate them as your personal experiences and doubts;
Do not infringe on the rights of the person you interact with. Don't hurt his feelings by talking about the qualities of his personality. Better appeal to their external manifestation in behavior;
Always clarify the misunderstandings that have arisen during the discussion in a timely manner by asking clarifying questions;
Self-confident people and good professionals know how to admit their mistakes, as this makes them stronger. Apologize freely and in a timely manner if you are aware of your mistake. Know how to admit that you are wrong. Another time you can count on the same recognition from your acquaintances or friends.
If you find that your interaction with someone is turning into an intense conflict-like process, pause your negotiations. Silence and pause will give you time to calm down and calmly continue the conversation;
Everyone deserves respect. In order to avoid the most likely conflicts here, keep the already established relations, do not destroy even weak ties between you.

Your tools of influence that are important for conflict-free communication and constructive conflict resolution:

Empathy.
Goodwill.
Authenticity (the ability to be natural in relationships, not to hide behind masks and roles).
Concreteness (rejection of ambiguous and indistinct remarks, general reasoning, readiness to unambiguously answer questions).
Initiative (the ability to establish contacts, the tendency to “go forward” in relations with others, and not just react to their actions),
Immediacy (the ability to speak and act directly, honest demonstration of your attitude towards them).
Openness (willingness and ability to talk about your thoughts and feelings).
Acceptance of feelings (the absence of fear in direct contact with one's own feelings or the feelings of other people, but at the same time the absence of the desire to impose one's feelings on others).
Lack of fear of confrontation, if necessary in case of dissimilarity of opinions. But not with the aim of scaring, but with the hope of establishing a sincere and honest relationship.
Readiness for self-knowledge, including using information from other people about yourself

How to learn to listen and hear?

Be quiet. Stop talking. It is impossible to listen while talking. Be patient, do not save time, do not interrupt, restrain your temper. Show with your eyes, posture and gestures that you are listening and understanding the client. Give confirmation signals, assent, nod your head. Be careful, don't pretend to listen. Show interest, empathize with the speaker. Help him to loosen up, create a feeling of freedom. Don't give advice unless asked. Avoid criticizing, debating, arguing. This forces the speaker to take a defensive position, he may become silent or angry. It is by winning the dispute that you will lose.
Find out. Do not try to guess what the client thinks, feels and wants, ask. To activate the client, ask open-ended questions that require detailed answers that cannot be answered with just a yes or no. Questions should help the client open something, think, develop his thoughts. Clarify the unclear aspects of what was said, ask to repeat, explain. Brief and closed questions use only if the client is in a hurry, talks a lot, finds it difficult to speak, or is very tense.
Speak what was said, repeat what was heard. Rephrase, change the wording, convey in your own words the thoughts and feelings expressed by the client ("As I understand you ...", "In other words ...", "You said that ..."). Confirm, clarify, check the meaning of messages received from the client. Summarize, reproduce the client's statements in an abbreviated, generalized form, highlight the most important thing in the message ("So ...", "Your main ideas are ..."). Expand the meaning of what was said, help the client express their feelings and thoughts. Develop ideas, draw conclusions and consequences from the client's words, assumptions about the reasons for the statements ("You think so, apparently because ...", "Based on what you said ..."). Decipher the client's problem, describe how you understood it, show how you see it ("It looks like you ...", "It seemed to me that ...", "You probably ..."). Show empathy, put yourself in the client's shoes ("I would be in your place too ..."). Retelling what you heard shows that you are listening and interested. The feeling of being understood encourages the client to be further open.
Be observant and watch for non-verbal cues from the speaker. How does he look, stand, sit, are his posture and gestures consistent with what he is saying? Focus not only on what the client is saying, but also on how they say it. Try to understand feelings and thoughts that were not directly expressed by the client, but were apparently implied in the message. Strive to understand not only the meaning of the words, but also the feelings of the client.
Listen to yourself. Your preoccupation is making it difficult for you to listen to the client. Do not be distracted by bad habits the speaker, think about what you like about the other person. Do not daydream, draw conclusions, evaluate arguments, listen to the speaker's tone. Try to understand, not look for reasons for objection. Do not make judgments and hasty conclusions until you fully understand. If you disagree with something, do not stop listening, wait for your turn to speak. First, listen to the end to understand what you disagree with, and then state your point of view.
Comment on the course of the conversation.Stay in line with the problem. If you are distracted or interrupted the interlocutor, restore his train of thought.

Comparative characteristics of violent and non-violent communication

Characteristic	Violent communication	Nonviolent communication
Ways to influence the client	Requirements, prohibitions, evaluations, comparisons, criticism and praise, punishment and encouragement, imposition of role models and examples of behavior	Description of the client's behavior, description of their own feelings, empathy, own example to follow
Relationship	Rivalry, coercion, suppression	Cooperation, equality, freedom and independence
Feelings evoked in the client	Fear, shame, guilt	Confidence, trust, pride, dignity
Your Feelings	You versus the client, contempt, antipathy, self-concern	You and the client, respect, sympathy, interest in the client
The purpose of the impact	Immediate change in the client's behavior, regardless of the relationship established between you and the level of trust, without taking into account his feelings and capabilities, the desire to piss off the client, change him or get rid of him, try to do something instead of him or challenge him	Establishing close relationships, help taking into account the client's capabilities, supporting the client's efforts to solve problems on his own, strengthening faith in himself, developing abilities, striving to help him gain respect and sympathy for himself, teach him not to repress his feelings, but to realize them and gain power over them

Should I use force?

Frequently used techniques:

Instructions, orders and prohibitions aimed at limiting the behavior of another person. ("You have to ...", "You need to ...", "You can't ...", "Don't behave ...", "Leave me alone!", "Stop now!", "Listen to what they say to you!" ! "," Be ashamed ").
Criticism, censure, disapproval, assessment of the interlocutor's personality, his problems, feelings and thoughts ("You are abnormal", "You do not know how to behave", "You are badly brought up", "You are just a lazy person", "You are a coward", "You are wrong", "You are wrong", "Nonsense you say", "This is a disgrace!").
Consolation, the desire to calm down, get rid of unpleasant feelings ("Do not worry", "Do not be sad", "Do not be nervous", "Do not be upset", "Do not be afraid", "Calm down", "Pull yourself together", "It will pass" , "I thought", "This is all nonsense").
Reprimands and claims, exaggeration of the partner's shortcomings ("You again (completely, always, never) ...").
Rhetorical questions aimed rather at drawing attention to yourself ("How dare you?", "What right do you have?", "Aren't you ashamed?" Who do you look like? ").
Swearing and curses aimed at intimidating a partner and hiding the speaker's true feelings ("You ..!", "Damn you ..!").
Threats ("If you just once again ...", "Talk to me!").
Irony and sarcasm, actualization of the feeling of shame, visible approval with elements of criticism, distracting attention from the speaker ("Well, you're a hero!").
Condemnation, complaints, reproaches, the image of suffering, causing a feeling of guilt in the interlocutor ("If not for you ...").
Comparison with others or yourself, the image of superiority over the interlocutor ("While I ..., you ...").

What to do to provide feedback?

Describe the behavior of the interlocutor, report his observed actions without attributing motives and evaluative traits to them ("You are late", but not "You are optional", "You shout", but not "You are always shouting"). Learn to present the results of observations, not conclusions, facts, and not their estimates. The description allows the person to make their own conclusions and assessments and choose whether they want to accept the information and whether they want to change something. Give the client the opportunity to perceive what they feel is acceptable to themselves. The description gives the recipient alternative options: to change or not change his behavior, while the assessment indicates what he should do. When describing behavior, focus on what's relevant, not what's irrelevant. Limit yourself to the actions of the interlocutor, which can be changed. Fix on what happened recently. Be specific, not general.
Describe your own feelings... Speak directly about your experiences. Name your own feelings ("I am worried", "I feel ...", "I am experiencing ..."). Compare your state with anything ("I feel like (like, like) ..."). Describe your physical well-being ("I ...", "Me ...", "I have ..."). Indicate your desires ("I want ...", "I would like to ...", "I hope ..."). The description of your emotional state allows you to avoid the occurrence of a defensive reaction in another person.
Say what you want or what you will do... Don't assume that the other person knows what you want. Most likely, he does not know this. Name your choice, tell me what you want and what you don’t want. Tell him what you expect from him. Ask if he wants to do it. Ask what you want, be kind, but firm, respect not only the client, but also yourself, calmly and kindly stand your ground. You don't need to apologize or defend your choice. You have the right to want what you want. Do not make excuses and do not become defensive, otherwise you will break mutual respect, which can cause a defensive reaction in you. Do not give in, letting him offend you or intimidate you. Don't agree to do anything that you don't want to do. Tell the interlocutor why you do not want to do what he suggests, explain the reasons for any reluctance to agree. Tell me what his ideas are acceptable to you. Describe the conditions under which you can agree. Suggest alternative plans.
Say "I want" not "You must", "I want", not "I need". When you say "I need to", you are simply afraid to take responsibility, as if someone is forcing you and you are forced to do this, despite your unwillingness.
Discuss what you can, not what cannot be done. "I can't" is an excuse, a form of resistance, protest, unwillingness. We are used to overestimating what others have to do and underestimating what we can do. It is easier to change what you are doing than to change the other person. Ask yourself what can you do if the client refuses to solve the problem?

There are 5 main styles of people behavior in conflict situations:

Evasion(withdrawal, avoidance): actions are aimed at getting out of the situation without yielding, but not insisting on their own, refraining from entering into disputes and discussions; in response to accusations, a desire to turn the conversation to another topic is manifested. For a person using this style of behavior, it is first of all important to preserve the relationship, which is advisable in a number of life situations. At the same time, the conflict is not resolved and, in the presence of an objective conflict situation, it may arise again.
Adaptation(concession): also expressed in the desire to get away from the conflict, but at the same time a person is ready to neglect his interests in favor of another. This style of behavior can be characteristic of a person due to his individual psychological characteristics, and also manifest itself in the relationship "subordinate - leader". It is advisable when the outcome of the case is not significant for a given person, but is very significant for another, as well as at the stage of searching for ways to resolve another, more complex conflict situation.
Competition(confrontation): a person's actions are aimed at insisting on his own way of an open struggle for his interests (using coercion, psychological means of pressure). This style of behavior is appropriate in extreme situations. If used constantly, without taking into account the objective circumstances and interests of the group, it leads to a violation of relationships and the psychological climate in the group.
Compromise: a person's actions are aimed at resolving differences by giving in something in exchange for concessions from the other side. An "average" decision is made, which basically suits all the participants, despite the remaining "zone of mutual disagreement". The advantages of this style are in the quick resolution of the conflict. However, this decision is not always fair, and therefore, although not as pronounced as in other situations, the participants in the conflict remain emotionally dissatisfied.
Cooperation involves the search for a solution that fully satisfies the interests of all parties to the conflict, in the course of an open exchange of views. This method is the most laborious, requiring time and attention to the partner. However, it is - the only way, which can lead to a fair and final resolution of the conflict.

Ways to resolve conflicts

The parties to the conflict can either independently take appropriate actions to resolve the conflict, or turn to an “outsider” person - a mediator for help, who will help organize a dialogue between them.

Anyway for a constructive resolution of the conflict, the following are important conditions :

the adequacy of the perception of the conflict,
openness and efficiency of communication between conflicting parties,
creating a climate of mutual trust and cooperation,
joint search for mutual interests, alternative ways to exitof the conflict and solutions to resolve the conflict.

The sequence of joint actions aimed at overcoming the conflict involves several stages :

identification of the main problem,
identification of secondary causes of the conflict,
Search possible ways conflict resolution,
making a common decision on the way out of the conflict,
implementation of the planned plan,
evaluation of the effectiveness of the efforts undertaken. Most conflicts have several causes, and this fact makes mutually beneficial solutions possible. The key to obtaining a win-win solution to a problem is to satisfy an important desire for a person, and in return to achieve concessions in other, not very important for him, issues.

Building contacts

The relationship between conflict-free communication and the art of networking.

The benefits of networking between people:

While success starts with you, it rises to a higher level through connections with people and relationships. You cannot achieve success using only your scale of possibilities.

This is why contact with other people is important. To better understand this lesson, let's look at the phrase “networking” is about developing relationships with people for the benefit of both sides.

You will get what you want out of life if you help others get what they want.
Zig Ziglar

Effective networking:

Remember every second that all the people around are your potential business connections. Sometimes a coincidence turns into an extremely useful acquaintance. Just be nice and outgoing - often enough.

Image modern man is essential for making the right contacts. You can meet a helpful person at a party or even in line at the clinic - anything happens in life. And it would be foolish to miss the chance because you didn't look too neat at that moment. This does not mean that you need to walk in a suit for 24 hours. Just watch yourself - banal grooming and neatness can do you good service, because you are greeted by clothes.

Be polite and open. Appearance makes only the first impression, further communication success depends on your skills business communication and personal qualities.
Smile - a smile opens many doors. But the artificial forced smile is unlikely to help you establish business contacts. Try to keep her sincere (and a sincere smile, as you know, is visible not only on the lips, but also in the eyes).
Sincerity, self-confidence (not to be confused with self-confidence), no fear of expressing one's point of view (naturally, in the correct form, without imposing it on anyone).
There is no need to frankly demonstrate a desire to benefit from a person. Do not try to immediately take the "bull by the horns": even if the interlocutor perfectly understands why you actually spoke to him, this does not mean that you need to get down to business right away.
Having achieved your goal, in no case interrupt the conversation abruptly: your interlocutor may feel used up, and you will lose new business contact before you can make it. You need to end the conversation on a positive note, let the other person know that you enjoyed communicating with him.
Be sure to organize your contact information (phone numbers, addresses Email etc.) and always keep it close at hand. Do not rely on business cards - they tend to get lost, for safety reasons, transfer contacts to your mobile phone or to a computer (or better, both there and there).
People make business contacts for mutual benefit. Therefore, be prepared not only to receive help, but also to provide it. Thus, you express your gratitude and do not let your fruitful cooperation die out. Keep in touch constantly: even if you do not need anything from these people on this stage, contact them from time to time to see how they are doing. Just don’t do it too often, so you don’t seem intrusive.
Do not neglect building connections: you never know how this or that acquaintance can turn out, and it is better to take a chance than to miss it.

Ability to accept failure

Failure is just an excuse to start over, smarter this time.
Henry Ford

Remember how you learned to ride a bike? Chances are, you started out with extra wheels. When the guards were removed, it became much more difficult to maintain balance. You tried to stay upright, possibly falling and hitting several times. An important lesson you've learned is accepting failure.

When you started to practice, most likely, one of the parents was nearby and shouted to you what to do, encouraging you. You were scared, but interesting! You have been looking forward to the moment when you will be able to get everything right, when you go yourself. You practiced every day and eventually mastered your cycling skills.

What will help?

Persistence and repetition of the action itself.
Enthusiasm
Promoting and helping others.
Do what is required, even if it is a negative reaction of others or falling "in the dirt on the face" from time to time.

History:

I would like to tell you about the guys who wrote a book containing a collection of inspiring stories. They learned that it can take three years to negotiate a contract with a publisher.

The first publisher they contacted said NO.

The second publisher said NO.

The third publisher said NO.

The following publishers (30 in total) also answered NO. After collecting 33 NOs over a three-year period, what do you think they did? That's right, they turned to the next publisher.

And the 34th publisher answered YES.

And this one YES - versus 34 failed NOs - marked the beginning of the exciting success of the book "Medicine for the Soul", written by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. If you've been to a bookstore in the last 10 years, you've definitely seen this book. You may have already read one of the books in the Soul Medicine series.

This series of books has sold 100 million copies! This is because Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen had the determination to fail over and over again and keep on moving towards success.

No quick successes
Never give up
Key questions (How realistic is my plan? Am I really committed to my goal? How does a negative situation affect me? Am I ready for success? Am I ready for failure?)
Turn a mistake into an achievement.

Where to begin?

Approximate algorithm of actions:

You should exchange glances with the person and establish and maintain eye contact periodically. If you avoid looking into the eyes of the interlocutor, he may feel distrust of you, feel your insincerity, ill will or disregard for him.
Smile when you meet and maintain a friendly expression throughout the conversation. Dry and frozen facial expressions, as well as avoiding eye contact, can be felt by the interlocutor as a lack of your interest in him.
At the first meeting, introduce yourself: "My name is ... I will try to help ... We will ...". Determination of your role will help mutual contact and trust between you. He needs to know what to expect from you.
Pay attention to your expressions, intonation, voice volume, and speaking rate. It is better to measure them against the corresponding characteristics that you observe in the client. If the client is agitated, try to speak a little quieter and slower, this calms and relieves unnecessary stress.
Establishing contact is facilitated by your open posture, straight head position. Hands united, crossed, or hidden in pockets or behind the back can be unconsciously perceived by the interlocutor as disagreement with him, resistance, stubbornness or secrecy.

So, to establish contact:

look at the interlocutor,
smile,
welcome,
introduce yourself at the first meeting,
watch your speech,
keep it open.

MOSCOW FINANCIAL AND LEGAL UNIVERSITY
Kaliningrad branch
FACULTY OF ECONOMY AND MANAGEMENT
DEPARTMENT OF ACCOUNTING AND FINANCIAL DISCIPLINES
SPECIALTY 080109.65 "ACCOUNTING, ANALYSIS AND AUDIT"

ON THE DISCIPLINE: "BUSINESS COMMUNICATION"
TOPIC: "Basic rules of conflict-free communication"
Completed by a student
group 22Buk2010 (Bz-10-3.5)
Berezina L.E.

Checked by the teacher:
T.V. Koroleva

Grade ________________________
___________________________
(teacher's signature)

"_______" _______________ 2013

Kaliningrad 2013

Content
Introduction ………………………………………………………………………… ... 3
1. The concept of conflict …………………………………………………… ..… ... 4
2. How do conflicts arise ………………………………………………… 5
3. Technology of conflict resolution ……………………………………….… 6
4. Ethical rules business communication ……………………………………… ..7
5. Postulates of tactics of conflict-free communication …………………………… ... 8
Conclusion …………………………………………………… …… ...…. ……… .10
References ………………………………… ………………….… ........... 11

Introduction

Memories of conflicts, as a rule, evoke unpleasant associations: threats, hostility, misunderstanding, attempts, sometimes hopeless, to prove their case, resentment. As a result, the opinion was formed that conflict is always a negative phenomenon, undesirable for each of us. Conflict is viewed as something that should be avoided whenever possible.
When writing the work, various approaches to the definition of the conflict, its classifications and consequences were studied. Representatives of the early schools of management believed that conflict was a sign of ineffective organization and poor management. In our time, management theorists and practitioners are increasingly inclined to the point of view that some conflict, even in the most effective organization with the best relationships, is not only possible, but desirable. You just need to manage the conflict.

1. The concept of conflict

Conflict (from the Latin clash) - a contradiction in views and relationships, a clash of diverging, opposing interests, a sharp dispute.
At the heart of any conflict is a situation that includes either conflicting positions of the parties on any occasion, or opposite goals or means of achieving them in given circumstances, or a mismatch of interests, desires, drives of opponents, etc.
A non-constructive (destructive) conflict arises when one of the opponents resorts to morally condemned methods of struggle, seeks to psychologically suppress a partner, discrediting and humiliating him in the eyes of others. Usually this causes fierce resistance from the other side, the dialogue is accompanied by mutual insults, the solution to the problem becomes impossible, interpersonal relations are destroyed.
The conflict can be constructive (constructive). This is when opponents do not go beyond business arguments and relationships.
In this case, various behavioral strategies can be observed:

2. How conflicts arise

For the conflict to begin to develop, an incident is needed when one of the parties begins to act, infringing on the interests of the other.
Observation shows that 80% of conflicts arise in addition to the desire of their participants.
The main role in the occurrence of conflicts is played by the factors contributing to the conflict - conflict genes - words, actions (or inaction) leading to a conflict.
At the same time, the following pattern can be traced - in the process of the formation of a conflict, an escalation of conflictogens occurs. We try to respond to the conflict in our address with a stronger conflict generator, often the strongest among all possible. This pattern can be explained as follows. Having received a conflictogen in his address, the victim wants to compensate for his psychological loss, therefore he wants to get rid of the irritation that arises, responding with an offense to an offense. In this case, the answer should not be weaker, but for confidence it is done with a "margin". After all, it is difficult to resist the temptation to teach the offender a lesson so that he does not allow himself to do so in the future. As a result, the power of conflict genes is growing rapidly.

3. Conflict resolution technology

How does conflict resolution begin?
With the establishment of its reasons. The difficulty here is that the true reasons are often masked, because they can characterize the initiator of the conflict not from the best side.
In addition, the protracted conflict draws more and more participants into its orbit, expanding the list of conflicting interests and objectively making it difficult to find the main reasons.
Knowledge of conflict formulas is of great help in resolving conflicts.
The main conflict formula:
(Conflict Situation + Incident) = Conflict
A conflict situation is an accumulated contradiction containing the true cause of the conflict.
An incident is a set of circumstances that give rise to a conflict.
Conflict is an open confrontation as a result of mutually exclusive interests and positions.
The formula shows that the conflict situation and the incident are independent of each other. None of them is a consequence or manifestation of the other.
Resolving a conflict means:
1. to eliminate the conflict situation;
2. exhaust the incident.
Of course, the first is more difficult to do, but also more important.
Unfortunately, in practice, in most cases, the case is limited only to the exhaustion of the incident.
Conflict between people can be likened to a weed: the conflict situation is the root of the weed, and the incident is the part that is on the surface.
It is clear that by cutting off the tops of the weed and not touching the root, we will only strengthen its work to extract nutrients from the soil that are so necessary for cultivated plants.
The same is with the conflict: without eliminating the conflict situation, we create conditions for the deepening of the conflict.

4. Ethical rules of business communication

A reliable way to prevent conflicts in a team is to use ethical rules. business communication.
Rule 1. A person who enters a room must, regardless of his position, be the first to greet the colleagues present there. If the leader does not respond to the greetings of subordinates, this worsens the attitude towards him.
Rule 2. In business communication, you should give preference to the pronoun "you" than the pronoun "you". It not only demonstrates a culture of communication, but also serves as a tool for maintaining service distance and discipline.
Rule 3. In any conditions, you need to be friendly, polite, smile at people, maintaining a good mood in yourself and everyone around.
Rule 4. You must be able to patiently listen to the interlocutor and not interrupt him with your remarks.
Rule 5. Calmly respond to criticism, do not take revenge for it. In order to make a good impression on others and avoid unnecessary conflicts, you should not forget about your own appearance and demeanor. Indiscreet dress and bad manners can irritate the interlocutor. During commercial negotiations, it is not recommended to take off your jacket without asking permission from others. This recommendation also applies to smoking.

5. Postulates of tactics of conflict-free communication

Communication as a necessary tool for resolving conflicts can often in itself cause quarrels, disputes, and confrontation. This happens in the event of a violation of the rules of communication: he listens inattentively, a person expresses himself not clearly enough, or is hostile.
Knowledge of the basic postulates of communication largely helps to facilitate the communication process and prevent the emergence of conflict situations.
Communication tactics are the implementation in a specific situation of a communicative strategy based on mastery of technique and knowledge of the rules of communication.
The initial postulate of communication tactics is that it is necessary to have several options for behavior in the same type of situation and be able to use them promptly.
You need to be able to calculate which behaviors are appropriate to use in each specific case. For example, the reaction to slander can be ambiguous: from emotional imbalance to calm logical disclosure of the reasons, backbiting, and prejudice of the organizers of this provocation. The last model of behavior will allow you to get out of an unpleasant situation with dignity.
The second postulate of communication tactics is the following recommendation: in the process of any communication, and even more so in business, confrontation and conflicts should be avoided, because psychological losses are always inevitable.
Getting along with people is a special art. The formation of this skill is facilitated by knowledge of the mechanisms of mutual attraction, which are:

Conclusion

Due to the existing attitudes towards conflict as a negative phenomenon, most people believe that they cannot control them and try to avoid them whenever possible. But the conflict does not lend itself well to correction when it has already acquired a destructive force. This is something to be aware of, and managers and employees need to understand that conflict is life-enriching if it is properly managed.
The conflict helps the individual work collective and the organization as a whole to be in line with the current events, it allows you to determine what is needed for the development and improvement of all areas. The ability to manage conflict can be critical to the survival of the collective as a whole.
Conflict also presents employees with the need to constantly communicate with each other and to know a little more about each other. Team members begin to better understand their colleagues, become more sensitive to the problems of other people. Living and working together is not easy and needs to be learned specifically. The conflict, giving rise to disputes, checks both the entire team and each employee individually, and can significantly help both in the process of analyzing the problem and developing a solution.
Conflict by itself does not strengthen or weaken the organization. Both employees and managers must manage it to make it as useful as possible. If they avoid discussing their difficulties and fears, they cannot understand either the real state, or the paths of development, or learn lessons for themselves and for others.
With effective conflict management, its consequences can play a positive role, that is, be functional, contribute to the further achievement of the organization's goals. If the conflict is managed skillfully, it strengthens both the team and the organization as a whole.
Bibliography

Conflict-free behavior rules

Peaceful in the artel is a treasure.

(Folk wisdom)

Communication in the workplace and all interactions with colleagues and management can be made conflict-free, if you do not forget about some useful rules of conduct. By following them constantly, you will not only not waste your energy and other resources on resolving professional conflicts, but also gain among colleagues honorary title a positive and conflict-free person. This, in turn, will assist you in your successful promotion.

Rules for conflict-free communication:

in your speech, watch for words that can cause resentment or negative reaction of the employee and provoke a conflict situation in the team. These words or phrases are called conflictogens, since they are aimed at provoking the same communication from the side interacting with you. Conflict genes spread a conflict situation to all participants in the interaction. Never use conflictogens in communication with colleagues and management;

if you have heard in the address to you colleagues the words - conflictogens, do not answer him in the same way, so as not to allow the conflict situation to spread. Believe me, ignoring such words does not mean your weakness and submission, but on the contrary emphasizes your strength as a specialist. For a colleague who directs conflicts against you, your such unexpected reaction will make his words meaningless. Conflict genes directed at you will lose their power and significance;

when interacting and discussing a question you do not understand or a question with which you do not agree, try to put yourself in the place of your interlocutor and understand his point of view and feelings, which are moved by him in this case. Demonstrate respect for a colleague's opinion... Create a friendly attitude in any interaction;

approach any employee from the standpoint of a humanistic attitude: benevolently, sympathetically, respectfully. There is a kind and friendly participation in every colleague, if you initially assume these qualities in him. Be kind to any person in your work team;

try to be balanced, calm and confident when communicating with colleagues... Remember that confidence and arrogance are not the same concepts;

in case of aggression and conflict genes directed against you, change the topic of conversation for a while .;

do not hide your negative feelings caused by the discussion from your interlocutor. Calmly, and in the correct form, demonstrate them as your personal experiences and doubts;

do not infringe on the rights of the person you interact with. Don't hurt his feelings by talking about the qualities of his personality. Better appeal to their external manifestation in behavior;

always promptly clarify any misunderstandings that have arisen during the discussion, asking clarifying questions;

a specialist can never be wrong. Self-confident people and good professionals know how to admit their mistakes, as this makes them stronger. Apologize freely and in a timely manner if you are aware of your mistake. Know how to admit that you are wrong. Another time you can count on the same recognition from your colleagues;

if you find that your interaction with an employee is turning into a tense, open conflict-like process, pause your negotiations. Silence and pause will give you time to calm down and calmly continue the conversation;

colleagues with whom your professional and informal relationships do not work out also deserve your respect. To avoid the most likely conflicts here, keep the already established relationship, do not destroy even weak ties between you.

Prevent or prevent the emergence of conflict in your labor relations, you can use some actions or measures which you can take:

observance of social distance. This involves building relationships based on determining socio-psychological compatibility with colleagues or strictly formal forms of relationships. The designation of distance in professional relationships can vary, depending on each specific case of interpersonal interaction. Determining a sufficiently short given distance with any employee should not be a frequent occurrence, since it is a short social distance between colleagues that provokes a greater number of conflict situations. Informal relationships change the official status of a colleague to the status of a friend from whom I begin to expect actions that are always similar and meet common friendly interests. And in a situation of industrial relations, this is not always possible. The presence of space for possible rapprochement of the team serves as a kind of buffer or "safety cushion" in a conflict situation;

introducing diversity in labor relations. Strive to ensure that your professional relationship in the workplace has not only a formal framework, but also some informal properties. Find common interests and hobbies of your colleagues. Subsequently, if necessary, this can be a resource for preventing a conflict situation. Take time sometimes informal communication with colleagues outside the workspace. For example, invite your coworkers to go fishing or go mushrooming in the forest. Or maybe you will celebrate a professional holiday together;

smooth over acute situations. If there is a potential conflict in industrial relations, remind colleagues of the existing solidarity of employees. A reminder or advice received from a colleague can prevent many tense and negative moments in an employment relationship;

try to be "your" person for all colleagues... It is not necessary to completely take the side of the employee or completely share his point of view, it is enough to respect the opinion of colleagues and justify your disagreement in something, not blaming the colleague, but only demonstrating different points of view on any issue;

remember the importance of each employee... Follow the rules of conflict-free communication and, by your behavior, support the importance of the activities of each colleague;

do not excessively demonstrate your dignity, distinguishing you from your colleagues... Deliberate demonstration of their professionalism, frequent reminders to colleagues of their professional successes can cause aggression from others and irritation. This leads to conflicts in the production environment. Concentrate on team and collective professional success.

In your professional field, you can also organize preventive measures of conflict situations ... The most effective ways prevention of conflicts in the work collective are participatory working methods, that is, methods of collaboration that involve the participation of the largest possible number of employees. Plan tasks and goals together professional activity, develop programs or the way to achieve them, construct effective technologies that help in the performance of professional duties. So, you will always seek mutual understanding with the team. Offer to make additions and corrections to the employee who was unable to take part in the general discussion. When solving an industrial problem, interview your colleagues, maybe many of them will be the most informed about this problem. Together you will find a way out to solve it. Evaluate the results of your work together, focus on positive achievements, and find the reasons for failure fairly and rationally.

Methods of conducting discussions and disputes- also effective methods in the prevention of conflicts in professional relationships. By organizing a discussion about any significant problem, you help your colleagues acquire important skills of constructive discussion: recognition of the equality of each participant in the discussion, respect for the opponent's opinion, establishment of common points of view, search for mutually beneficial compromises.

And most importantly, remember that only participants in the labor process can prevent a conflict, the employees themselves can also prevent the development of an open conflict, and a professional conflict can be resolved by the forces of the conflicting parties.

Table 25. "Conflict-free communication and conflict-free behavior in the professional sphere"

ESSAY

on the subject "Business Communication" on the topic

“Conflict: strategy of behavior and ways of resolution. Methods of conflict-free communication "

Introduction - page 3

The nature of conflicts - page 3

Conflict Management Techniques - page 5

Behavior of participants in conflict - page 6

General scheme of conflict resolution - page 7

Conflict Resolution Strategy - page 9

Conflict-free communication techniques - page 11

Conclusion - page 12

List of used literature - page 13

Introduction

Conflicts arising in the process of interaction, communication between individuals, of course, play a destabilizing role in the team

In any conflict, each participant evaluates and correlates his interests and the interests of the opponent, asking himself the questions: what will I win, what will I lose, what is the meaning of the subject of the dispute for the opponent. On the basis of this analysis, he consciously chooses one or another strategy of behavior (withdrawal, coercion, compromise, concession or cooperation). Often the reflection of these interests occurs unconsciously, and then the behavior in the conflict interaction is saturated with powerful emotional tension and is spontaneous.

The nature of conflicts

A conflict is understood as a collision in a specific situation of opposing tendencies, motives, attitudes, interests, needs, norms or types of behavior. The conflict is determined by the fact that the conscious behavior of one of the parties (personality, group, organization as a whole) conflicts with the interests of the other party. In other words, a conflict is a situation in which the conflicting interests of one or several participants who pursue different goals collide, and the ways and methods of achieving their goals are different for them. The result of any act of one (each) of the parties depends on the chosen course of action of the other parties.

The characteristic features of conflicts include:

Uncertainty of the outcome, i.e. none of the parties to the conflict knows in advance the decisions that other parties make;

The difference in goals, reflecting both the diverging interests of different parties, and the multilateral interests of one and the same person; the mode of action of each of the parties.

Conflict is most often associated with aggression, threats, hostility, war, etc. As a result, there is an opinion that conflict is always an undesirable phenomenon, that it should be avoided as much as possible and that it should be immediately resolved as soon as it arises (but not the resolution of the conflict is also a solution).

The devastating consequences of conflict arise when the conflict is either very small or very strong. When the conflict is small, then most often it goes unnoticed and does not find its adequate solution. The differences seem to be very minor in order to induce the participants to make the necessary changes. However, they remain and cannot but affect the efficiency of the overall work. A conflict that has reached its climax is accompanied, as a rule, by the development of stress among its participants. This in turn leads to a decrease in morale and cohesion. Communication networks are being destroyed. Decisions are made in conditions of concealment or distortion of information and do not have sufficient motivating power. The organization can, as they say, disintegrate before our eyes.

Today, in Western literature, conflicts in organizations are considered as an inevitable, natural and even desirable feature of the functioning of an organization. Their presence does not necessarily signal organizational weakness, deficiencies, or leadership ineptitude.

It is believed that it is not the conflict itself that is dangerous in the organization, but its erroneous, incorrect regulation. The presence of positive properties in a conflict is often the reason that "positive" conflicts are artificially built into the structure of the organization in order to obtain the desired positive effect.

If the conflict helps to reveal a variety of points of view, provides additional information, helps to find a larger number of options, makes the group's decision-making process more effective, makes it possible for an individual to self-actualize, then this is a constructive (functional) conflict in its consequences.

If as a result of the conflict, the achievement of the goals of the organization as a whole and the satisfaction of the needs of an individual person does not occur, then it is destructive (dysfunctional) and leads to a decrease in personal satisfaction, group cooperation and the effectiveness of the organization.

Long-term studies of the nature of conflicts have led to the understanding that one cannot consider a conflict as an absolutely destructive phenomenon. Conflict experts have gradually moved from the expression "conflict resolution" to the term "conflict management". This transition is a recognition of the complex nature of the conflict, as well as the fact that not every conflict needs to be settled or resolved, i.e. the conflict itself, as it were, contains something that allows in some cases to talk about the benefits of the conflict. Without understanding the often positive role played by the conflict in the life of the organization, it is impossible to use the creative potential of the conflict situation.

Conflict management techniques.

Many professionals involved in conflict resolution professionally believe that the process of conflict management depends on many factors, a significant part of which is difficult to manage. For example, the views of the individual, the motives and needs of individuals, groups. The prevailing stereotypes, perceptions, prejudices, prejudices can sometimes negate the efforts of those who develop solutions. Depending on the type of conflict, different services can be involved in the search for solutions: the leadership of the organization, the personnel management service, the department of psychologist and sociologist, the trade union committee, the strike, the police, the courts. The resolution of the conflict is the elimination in whole or in part of the causes that gave rise to the conflict, or a change in the goals of the parties to the conflict.

Conflict Management- This is a purposeful impact to eliminate (minimize) the causes that gave rise to the conflict, or to correct the behavior of the participants in the conflict.

There are many methods of conflict management. Enlarged, they can be represented in the form of several groups, each of which has its own field of application:

Intrapersonal, i.e. methods of influencing an individual;

Structural, i.e. methods for eliminating organizational conflicts;

Interpersonal methods or styles of behavior in conflict;

Negotiation;

Retaliatory aggressive actions.

Behavior of participants in a conflict

There are five main styles of behavior in a conflict situation:

1) adaptation, compliance: an individual's actions are aimed at maintaining or restoring favorable relations with an opponent by smoothing out differences at the expense of their own interests.

2) evasion: the individual does not want to defend his rights, cooperate to work out a solution, refrains from expressing his position, avoids the dispute. This style suggests a tendency to avoid responsibility for decisions.

3) confrontation: competition is characterized by the active struggle of the individual for his interests, the use of all means available to him to achieve his goals: the use of power, coercion, other means of pressure on opponents, the use of the dependence of other participants on him.

4) cooperation: an individual actively participates in the search for a solution that satisfies all participants in the interaction, but without forgetting his own interests. An open exchange of views is assumed, the interest of all parties to the conflict in working out a common solution.

5) compromise: the actions of the participants are aimed at finding a solution at the expense of

mutual concessions, to work out an interim solution that suits both sides, in which no one particularly gains, but neither loses.

In this case, the classification is based on two independent parameters:

The degree of realization of their own interests, achievement of their goals;

The level of cooperativity, taking into account the interests of the other side.

Styles of avoidance and compliance do not involve the active use of confrontation in conflict resolution. With confrontation and cooperation, confrontation is a prerequisite for working out a solution. With avoidance and compliance, the resolution of the conflict is postponed, and the conflict itself is translated into a latent form. A compromise can bring only a partial resolution of the conflict interaction, since a sufficiently large zone of mutual concessions remains, and the reasons have not been completely eliminated.

General scheme of conflict resolution

1) Recognize the existence of a conflict, i.e. admit the presence of opposing goals and methods of opponents, identify these participants themselves. In practice, these issues are not so easy to solve, it can be quite difficult to admit and declare out loud that you are in a state of conflict with an employee on some issue. Sometimes the conflict has existed for a long time, people suffer, but there is no open recognition of it, everyone chooses their own form of behavior and influence on the other, but there is no joint discussion and way out of the situation.

2) Determine the possibility of negotiations. After recognizing the existence of a conflict and the impossibility of resolving it "on the fly", it is advisable to agree on the possibility of holding negotiations and to clarify which negotiations: with or without a mediator and who can be a mediator who equally suits both parties.

3) Agree on a negotiation procedure. Determine where, when and how

negotiations will begin, i.e. stipulate terms, place, procedure for

negotiations, the time of the beginning of joint activities.

4) Identify the range of issues that make up the subject of the conflict. The main

the challenge is to define in shared terms what is the subject of conflict and what is not. At this stage, joint approaches to the problem are developed, the positions of the parties are identified, the points of greatest disagreement and points of possible convergence of positions are determined.

5) Develop options for solutions. Parties to working together offer several options for solutions with the calculation of costs for each of them, taking into account the possible consequences.

6) Make an agreed decision. After considering a number of possible options, with mutual discussion and provided that the parties come to

agreement, it is advisable to submit this general decision in writing: resolutions, cooperation agreements, etc. In especially difficult or critical cases, written documents are drawn up after each stage of negotiations.

7) Implement decision on practice. If the process of joint action ends only with the adoption of a well-developed and agreed

can detonate other, stronger and more prolonged conflicts.

The reasons that caused the first conflict did not disappear, but only intensified by unfulfilled promises. Re-negotiations will be much more difficult. As a method for resolving conflicts, negotiations, which are a set of tactical techniques aimed at finding mutually acceptable solutions, are widely used at certain stages of its development. In some of them, negotiations may not be accepted, since it is too early, while in others it will be too late to start them.

Conflict resolution strategy.

There are two ways to master the accumulated theory and practice of conflict resolution experience. One assumes regular exercise and training, repeated use of trainings, participation in business and situational games. Another way is based on finding your own way of behavior in a conflict situation, your own technology for managing conflict relations. Having felt the effectiveness of the chosen tactics, you can improve your technology, relying on your inner feeling.

Most often, interest in the problem of conflict management arises in relation to labor sphere, to management activities in general. Management activity is the consistent overcoming of mismatches in the process of solving production problems, and the management style is the methods and techniques used to achieve the intended goals and objectives and lines of behavior in the conflict situations that arise.

The features of an organizational conflict are determined by three points:

1) differences in the volumes of social systems. In comparison with society, the organization is more local and simple system... This allows us to speak about the large, in comparison with the macro level, of visibility, controllability, the possibility of predicting conflict situations;

2) the role structure of organizations, the highlighting of professional qualities and official position, as well as a certain "lack of freedom" to fulfill their roles. The balance of role and personal qualities does not change in favor of the latter. At the same time, personal qualities, personal problems in a person-worker, with rare exceptions, prevail, albeit in a filmed form. This "disguise" makes them elusive for the leader (or analyst), but underestimating them is unacceptable;

3) an organization is a “closed community”. The locality of the organization, a clear distribution of roles, a single end product of labor, hierarchy make it possible to compare the microclimate in it with the moral atmosphere of the community. An employee in an organization is in full view of everyone, employees are, as it were, bound by "mutual responsibility", anonymity of actions is excluded, condemnation or approval of colleagues plays a decisive role not only in moral well-being, but also in his career.

In addition, organizational conflicts clearly manifest two features that are inherent in other conflicts in society. The first is the reference, the cohesion of the conflicting groups. In various collisions, reference groups control the behavior of all members, raising the motives of conflicts into supra-individual values. Alienated in this way

values acquire an independent existence and then dominate the behavior of individuals and local groups, turning the conflict into an end in itself. Another important point is that structural "formations

organizations are formed not only according to objective criteria, but also in the form of so-called groups of consciousness that unite people by convictions, value orientations, moods, etc. The intertwining of objective and subjective factors makes it difficult to predict conflict groups, makes these groups uncertain, and their composition is varied.

Conflict in an organization can be compared to a disease in human body... It is known that people who have not known diseases for a long time, at the first serious malaise, often “break down” and become suspicious, devote their lives to looking for various symptoms. Social systems react in the same way. The more centralized and organized the system is, the more sensitive it is to shocks. Industrial conflicts are not only inevitable, but also necessary. The task is to ensure that the conflict does not slide off business rails onto personal ones, does not turn into mutual discrediting, does not destroy the compatibility that has been formed over the years.

To avoid unnecessary conflict situations in production conditions, it is necessary to constantly improve the system of management relations. An organizational structure is effective in which no more than three or four subdivisions are subordinated to the head, and grassroots organizations number no more than seven or eight people. Then the basic law of the institution says: the employee must directly obey only the one who is one step higher and directly supervise only the one who is one step lower.

Conflict-free communication techniques

Both psychological and ethical factors play an important role in conflict prevention. There are some initial foundations, provisions of the ethics of communication, which can be defined as principles, without which it is impossible to communicate without conflict:

The principle of decency: presupposes an attitude even to a completely unfamiliar communication partner as to a decent, respectable person, regardless of any of his social and anthropological qualities.

The principle of preserving the sovereignty and inviolability of human dignity: there is only one kind of equality between communication partners - equality in the right to dignity.

Tolerance principle: allows you to prevent the beginning of the destruction of humanistic values and norms of communication.

The principle of justice and nobility: assumes adherence to the stereotype of "communication as equals", withdrawal from communication of all conflictogens, "elements and signs of superiority", in the first place. Nobility in communication is manifested not only by the sublimity of motives, but also by tact, delicacy, modesty.

The principle of mercy: expressed in the recognition of a person as he is, in compassion for him if he has any difficulties, difficulties, obstacles. Compassion is based primarily on love, on merciful love for one's neighbor. Compassion from under the stick is impossible, it is determined by the foundations of morality, which is associated, first of all, with freedom of choice.

The principle of nonviolence: involves nonviolent communication, even in relation to such a partner who does not behave properly, but does not allow direct insult to others. This principle means that a person should not under any circumstances (including protecting his interests) suppress and humiliate the dignity of the interlocutor (but should strive for an equal dialogue, to comply with the norms of preserving the sovereignty of his partner's inner world), use means of violent pressure ( including such veiled ones as hypnosis), follow the path of aggressive hatred, humiliation, blackmail, threats (especially murder, robbery, extortion, etc.).

Conclusion

Conflicts are different and you can treat them in different ways. Depending on their place and role, it is customary to distinguish between such types of conflicts: internal and external, interpersonal and intergroup, social, interorganizational, interethnic and interstate, potential and actual, direct and indirect, constructive (stabilizing, productive) and destructive (non-constructive), vertical and horizontal, subject and personal, role, motivational, communication (based on misunderstanding), etc.

In some cases, conflicts serve as a “stimulator” of society (for example, rivalry in an organization), giving it an impetus for development. In other cases, conflicts are inherently destructive, leading to violence, humiliation, and destruction of values. Each person has the right to choose his own style of communication, but if the majority of people listened to the basics of conflict-free communication based on the principles of decency, tolerance, respect, mercy, justice and nobility, non-violence…. there would be much more warmth and kindness in the world, people would learn to appreciate the most valuable thing they have - life, and not waste it on misunderstandings, conflicts and violence.

Bibliography:

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2. Borodkin F.M. Attention: conflict! - Novosibirsk. Science, 1989;

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4. Mescon M.H., Albert M., Hedouri F. Fundamentals of management.

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medium business. - M .: Akalis, 1996;

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