How to increase self-confidence. How to develop self-confidence and increase its level? What increases confidence in

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In itself, this is not appearance, money or diplomas hanging on the wall. This is a worldview, a philosophy of life - something that can be instilled and educated. Of course, real, true confidence does not come immediately (because for this you need to tame your ego and become humble at the same time), but with the help of some techniques and tools, you can get the first results within a few weeks. Here are the techniques.

Start feeling confident now

Stop waiting for something to happen before you start feeling confident. Many people tell themselves the following:

I will feel confident when I lose 20 kilos.
I will feel confident when I have a relationship with someone who loves and appreciates me.
I will feel confident when I get my diploma.
I will feel confident when I have the right car and clothes.

Although you need to achieve goals in order for confidence to be real, it will not appear if you do not start believing in yourself.

Stop waiting for some external signal to start feeling confident. Instead, start feeling confident right now, no matter where you are or what's going on around you.

Be resourceful

Most people put themselves into an unresponsive state before they act. This state is created by thoughts and physiology.

Here are some examples:

Before entering the boss's office, a person winds himself up that he is unworthy new position or pay raises and finds thousands of justifications for this.
Before the start of an important presentation, he slouches, is afraid, starts to get nervous.
Before talking with a person of the opposite sex that he likes, he thinks that he has no chance, because he is stupid or ugly.

Paul McKenna, Ph.D., says that confident people do the opposite: before taking any action that involves uncertainty and risk, they properly attune themselves to the challenge with passion, enthusiasm, determination, compassion, playfulness.

Pretend you're confident

It is said that Salvador Dali was incredibly shy. For an artist who wanted to gain fame, this was akin to a sentence. But his uncle gave him the following advice: pretend to be an extrovert. Dali followed him and began to behave accordingly - not to be afraid to make contact with the most different people. He soon became what he pretended to be.

Act in the style of "If"

So how do you pretend? Act as if. Ask yourself the following questions:

If I had confidence in myself, how would I move?
If I were sure, how would I sit?
If I were sure, how would I dress?
If I were confident in myself, how would I talk? What would I say now?
What thoughts would run through my head?

And then just take your answers and start applying them. Do it consistently and you will soon believe in yourself.

Walk in small incremental steps

In the first paragraph of this article, we argued that you need to feel confident right now, no matter where you are now and how you feel. However, this is easier said than done. Here are the specific steps.

Imagine that there is another version of you standing or sitting in front of you. This version is a little more confident than you.
Now ask yourself what you need to do to be able to become that confident version of yourself. Do you need to be more assertive? Do you need to break down your goals so you can start implementing them step by step? Is there a skill that needs to be developed? Start doing it.
As soon as you begin to take steps in the right direction, imagine once again that a more confident version of you is sitting in front of you, many times more confident. She is more charismatic and resourceful. What do you need to do to become one? Do it.
Keep imagining versions of yourself that are happier, more enthusiastic, more passionate, and more determined. Keep taking action to become those best versions of yourself until you feel overwhelmed with confidence.

Better take care of yourself

Confident people take care of themselves:

Are eating .
Lead.
Meditate, read.
Don't wind yourself up.

When you take care of yourself, you let yourself know that you consider yourself important and worthy of care and attention. And, in the end, your self-confidence depends on what you tell yourself about yourself.

Always be prepared

One of better ways be confident in any situation - do your homework in advance and be fully prepared for what awaits you. For example, if you have to prepare a presentation at work, do the following:

Make sure you take the time to do the necessary research.
Develop several alternatives.
Choose the alternative you think is the best and get all the data you need.

After all, how can you feel confident in a situation for which you are not prepared enough, although you could?

Visualize

This is perhaps one of the most powerful tools for self-confidence. When you have something important to do that is out of your comfort zone and you're worried that you won't succeed, visualize yourself in a situation where you're doing great.

To illustrate, let's say you have to speak to the board of directors of your company. Do the following:

Take a moment to close your eyes and see yourself standing in front of the council, confident in yourself and delivering your speech flawlessly.
Imagine yourself calmly answering the council members' tricky questions.
Imagine how after the presentation, everyone comes up to you, thanks and shakes hands.

Notice situations when you are doing everything well and right.

Here are some ideas you can apply right now:

Catch yourself doing something well, even if it's trite. How, for example, you masterfully brewed tea today, spilling only half the teapot!
When you celebrate your success, praise yourself and give yourself a virtual pat on the back.
Allow yourself to feel proud of the work you have done.
Do it as often as possible.

We wish you good luck!

As you can see, there are many variations on how “bad communities ruin good habits.” There is only one way out - to reduce, and often simply to zero, communication with such people. They pull into the swamp, and our scenario is to get out of it.

However, it is not good to be alone. Therefore, the social circle of a person must be, but correct. You need to surround yourself with people who will praise, support, believe, and say at the right time that everything will work out. And this is very important. The support of loved ones and the desire to justify their expectation serves.

Don't exaggerate your mistakes

Each person has their weaknesses, but there are also their strengths. To increase self-esteem, you need to understand both your strengths and weaknesses. Then a person will know what is good in him, and for what he needs to be respected by other people and himself.

But there is no need to be too critical of yourself, and say that "I have only one flaw." They were just looking for merit. If you don’t see it yourself, then ask people who value and respect you. And then don't argue with their opinion.

It is also important to remember that only those who do nothing do not make mistakes. All other people make mistakes from time to time, and there is no need to exaggerate or overdramatize them. We learn from mistakes, and for one beaten they give two unbeaten.

It's about gaining valuable life experience. It is like a brick that lies at our feet. We can stand on it and be higher, or we can stumble and then we will lie on the floor. Learn from your mistakes, draw conclusions, do not repeat them, and you will respect yourself more.

Probably, it would not be superfluous to remind you, dear readers, of how important it is to be a self-confident person in this life. However, you yourself can see very well how self-confident people achieve much greater success in this world than insecure ones. The confident are drawn to, the confident are loved, and the insecure are shunned, ridiculed, and in some cases even despised. Self-confidence is a sign of strength, and insecurity is a sign of weakness. And people love and respect strength, and hate weakness, because weakness does not lead to anything good. Therefore, it is better to be a self-confident person in order to enjoy life and achieve all kinds of success in it. In this article, I will tell you about how to increase self-confidence in ways known and tried by me. And in general, on this site, I will try to write more about self-confidence, because it is very important topic for many people. So check back with me more often. Well, now, let's study this question properly.

So, self-confidence - what is it? Let's say it very simply and clearly - this is self-understanding and self-love! As far as faith is concerned, it must, of course, be present in your heart and mind. But it must be so strong and strong that it cannot be shaken. That is, you must always believe in yourself, no matter what happens. And to believe in yourself means to understand yourself and love yourself, again, no matter what. No one, remember, no one should shake your faith in yourself, no one should force you to doubt yourself and your abilities! Otherwise, there is no point in faith! Believe in yourself as if you know for sure that there is nothing impossible for you in this life and that you are the most best person in this world, the most valuable person in this world, without whom he cannot exist. Self-confident people understand that apart from themselves, there is no one and nothing more important in this world. Self-confident people love themselves already for the fact that they simply are, that they exist, they love themselves for the fact that they have the opportunity to live and enjoy everything that life gives them, both good and bad. They enjoy life and love it, no matter what it is for them. You will never become a completely self-confident person if you feel confident only in certain situations when external circumstances develop in a favorable way for you. You always have to believe in yourself to be confident, so to speak, for real! And you also need to understand yourself in order to see all your strengths and weaknesses and skillfully use them to achieve your goals. You should not divide your life into black and white. Your whole life should be a holiday for you! And you must be the main character in your life, you need to become an authority for yourself, and then, if possible, for others. And then, friends, a miracle will happen - a program of self-confidence will turn on in you. This is the program - the leader, the hunter, the program - a high-ranking male, or a female, if you are a woman.

We are friends in such a way that lives inside us, both a slave and a master. And depending on how our life develops, as well as on how we treat ourselves, either the self-confident personality of the master wakes up in us, or the self-confident, degenerative personality of the slave. Do you understand the meaning of what we call self-confidence? This is the state of a strong person - a leader, a leader! This is a program, if expressed in computer language, necessary for those people who want to subordinate, not obey.

Here, let's look at what a confident person should be, so that you understand what you need to do to become just such a person. There are such opinions that live in the minds of many people, according to which a self-confident person always keeps his posture, walks with his head held high, confident gait, speaks loudly and confidently, actively gesticulates, he is firm in his decisions, always in good mood and so on and so forth. Friends, if you hear or read such nonsense somewhere, you can safely ignore it, because such an understanding of the state of self-confidence has nothing to do with it. A self-confident person does not care about all of the above. He does not care what his posture is, how he speaks, how he walks, how he looks, and so on - he loves himself for who he is, and does not pay attention to the inconsistency of his behavior with the beliefs of other people. If you don’t like how a person talks, how he walks, how he looks, and you consider him insecure, this is your problem. A self-confident person does not care about your opinion and your attitude towards him. If he needs to, he will force you to treat yourself the way he needs, and if not, he doesn’t give a damn about you. Of course, being interested in impressing people, a confident person can change his behavior in the right way, he can play this or that role if it is necessary for people to form the opinion he needs about him. But he himself, inside himself, will remain as he is comfortable to be. So do not attach any importance to all these external signs of self-confidence. Live the way you feel comfortable living, behave the way you feel comfortable to behave, and convince other people that you are right - let them change and adapt to you, not you to them. Let them follow your rules, and you ignore their rules. Is it difficult for you to do this? Come on, there's nothing complicated about it. You just need to tune in to the right logic to do what you need. The right one is always the one who considers himself right and at the same time actively, but competently, imposes his rightness on others, and not the one who is allegedly objectively right. There is no objectivity, each person is right in his own way, because each person has his own interests.

Therefore, it is not difficult to stick to your own beliefs and follow your own own rules. And such an approach to life will include in you the program of a strong, self-confident person. And by competently imposing your beliefs and rules on other people, you will turn on the leader’s program in yourself. But keep in mind that you must always carefully and competently present your rightness, your beliefs, values and rules to other people so that they agree to accept them, and not oppose them. There is no need to impose anything on anyone by aggressive methods. Show people in the best light - your values, views, beliefs, rules, and they themselves will accept it all. A self-confident person does not force anything on anyone. Instead, he beautifully shows people his values, his views on certain things, his truth, invites them to follow their rules, so that they themselves want to become a part of it all, so that they voluntarily agree to abide by its rules. But aggressive behavior, the use of brute physical force against the weak is not only a sign of a person's low intellectual development, but also evidence of his self-doubt.

You know, friends, formally, there are so many ways to increase self-confidence that you can even get confused among them. You have probably already read articles on this topic and tried to do something with yourself, using the information received, in order to become a more self-confident person. So what happened? Probably, not everything worked out for you, if anything at all, since you are reading this article. Do you know why you didn’t really succeed, why, having learned how to increase your self-confidence, you didn’t increase it? And because this is not science for you, it is not knowledge that is important here, but feelings and sensations. You need to learn to feel like a free person and learn to feel your importance for yourself. You must awaken a free and strong personality in yourself, and shut up that zatyukanny mediocrity, which is always trying to please everyone and adapt to everyone, which is afraid of criticism in its address and tries to stay away always and everywhere. And all these self-confidence steps that you can read about in books and in countless articles on the Internet are just theory, dry and lifeless. Feel the taste of life, whatever it is for you, feel your independence from everything that happens in this world. Dissolve into your life, in the current moment, as if you came out of darkness into the light, and forget about everything that prevents you from loving this life. This love of life will allow you to love yourself, because if it were not for you, there would not be this bliss that you experience when you live, when you even just breathe the air. Feel the joy of being in this world. Well, don't you feel your own greatness, your own importance, your own exclusivity? Without you, this world would not exist, for you it definitely would not exist! Do you understand it? Realize how great it is to be human and enjoy life. You are a person, you are a person - you are unique, you are magnificent, you are divine! Feel how a strong personality wakes up inside you, which can do anything. This person has crazy self-confidence because she is a great person. You are a great personality!

If, thinking about yourself, you involuntarily begin to compare yourself with other people, because it is against their background that you feel like an insecure person, then drive these thoughts away. They, these other people, as it always seemed to you and probably still seems to be, are better than you in some ways, in especially difficult cases - they are better than you in everything. If these thoughts torment you, then answer your question - and what, that they are better than you? What's next? Well, yes, there are other people who can be better than you in some ways, and worse in some ways, by the way, what does this have to do with you? You live your life, and they live theirs, you have your problems, they have theirs, you have your joys, and they have theirs. Other people have absolutely nothing to do with your self-confidence, because they are different, you understand, others. They look at life through their little window, and you through yours, they play their game, and you play yours. So forget about other people, don't compare yourself to them, don't compare your life to theirs, focus on yourself! You are reading this article in order to increase your self-confidence, and not to understand how you are better and why you are worse than other people, so your personality is what is most important to you in this life. And I want to talk to you in this article only about you!

And you, too, need to think only about yourself, so, at this moment, you need to think only about yourself and about no one else. You must realize that every part of you is the best, the most perfect thing that has ever been created in this world. All yours personal qualities that you know about is the most valuable thing you have. Not your things, not yours life success, not money and not the attitude of other people towards you, should instill self-confidence in you, but your acceptance of yourself as you are. Understand that self-confidence is not some kind of pumping, pumping, pumping out of your psyche, as they do with stupid people when they inspire them with all sorts of nonsense about themselves - this is your understanding of your pricelessness, your exclusivity, your significance. The strong person living in you loves himself and values himself, because he considers himself the most valuable creature in this world, and the slave living inside you, the weakling, wanted to spit on himself, because he considers himself an empty place. You must understand that you are not one of many, but one unique and unique, special. Well, there is no other person in the world like you, and there never will be. And the fact that you are alive now is a great happiness. This is how the self-confident master, leader, leader perceives life, living inside you. And a weak personality, which also lives in you, always compares itself with everyone, and of course, not in its favor. A weak personality thinks about others more than about himself, because he does not love and does not appreciate himself, and does not consider himself a person at all. Silence this weak personality in yourself with thoughts of your own greatness, because it is she who makes you an insecure person.

You must also understand, dear readers, that your deeds will make you a self-confident person. Do you think it should be such things that will allow you to achieve something outstanding in this life? No, any of your affairs can do this, any of your activities will benefit you. Many times I came across people who frantically repeated - mistakes, mistakes, mistakes - we make mistakes, we constantly make mistakes, we do everything wrong and this kills our self-confidence. Therefore, we will not do anything else, because it still does not work. Friends, everyone makes mistakes! What's wrong with mistakes!? Our whole life consists of mistakes and problems, there would be no mistakes and problems, I don’t even know how we would live. And it is normal to make mistakes, because, as you know, only those who do nothing do not make mistakes. Do you know how many mistakes I've made in my life? There is so much, so much that just words can not convey. Do you think I care a lot? Not at all. And my self-confidence is not affected by how many mistakes I have made in the past and how many I will make in the near future. Although no, I’m lying when I’m wrong - my self-confidence grows! And how it will not grow - I live, I act, I create, I do what I think is right, what I want to do, what I consider important to do. How can I not be sure of myself. And my mistakes testify to my active work. And when I make a mistake, I know for sure that I am not afraid of anything and I am not running from anything, I do not limit myself in actions because of mistakes. I continue to do what I think is necessary to do, no matter what. And you say mistakes. Yes, spit on these mistakes, in the sense, do not attach great importance to them, but only take them into account in order to know what not to do. In general, learn from mistakes like smart people do, and don't get killed over them. The main thing is not to be afraid to act, the more things you redo, the better. A self-confident person is a person of action!

So friends - love yourself, appreciate yourself, admire yourself, do not compare yourself with anyone, and your self-confidence will increase. And most importantly - act, I beg you, act! No need to sit idle and wait for some words of other people to give you self-confidence - go and do something important and great, make mistakes, then do it again, be persistent, do not be afraid of difficulties and you yourself will not notice how to become a very confident person. Feed the strong personality in you, not the weak one. While you are in an active state, you will be charged with confidence, as soon as you fall into a passive state, your self-confidence will begin to fade.

In the event that your negative life experience prevails over positive, as a result of which you are not confident in yourself, then rethink your negative experience, yourself, or with the help of a psychologist. Think about it, is it as negative as it seems to you? Maybe your failures in the past paved the way for you to success in the present or in the future? Although, what does it mean - maybe that's exactly the way it is. Everything you have done and are doing is right! You don't have to regret anything. Rejoice in everything that was, that is and that will be, because our life consists of all this. Even the fact that you were, until now, an insecure person is a set of sensations that you needed for you that you had to experience in your life. Otherwise, life will seem tasteless, you know? Once I was an insecure young man, and I didn’t really like it either. But still, it was also a very good time. My self-doubt made sense - I just felt this insecurity, experienced it, lived it until it was gone, when I no longer needed it. Now I understand that these were quite interesting sensations, and I would not want to change anything in my life, namely, in my past. I am happy that I was an insecure person, but since in our practical world, it is still better to be confident - I abandoned uncertainty in favor of confidence.

And now I suggest you do the same. Just give up self-doubt in favor of confidence, that's all you have to do. A person can change the program of his behavior whenever he wants, there is nothing complicated about it. You just need to want to change your views on life and on yourself, and they will immediately change. Make the decision to become a confident person, and you will become one. A strong personality will wake up in you, and a weak personality will fall asleep. Give a command to your body - in the form of thoughts that you are a leader, leader, that you are the best person in the world, that you unique person that you are a brilliant person, special, priceless, that all your deeds and deeds have been and will be correct! And then your self-confidence will wake up, because the personality of a strong person will wake up in you. With their right thoughts, you activate the self-confidence program.

If you fail to give yourself this command, ask me for help, then I will give you this command. You will definitely become a self-confident person! In some cases, people still need to change their lifestyle in order for it to begin to awaken in them a strong, self-confident personality. But we will talk about this, dear friends, already in my other articles.

Without confidence, it is impossible to succeed in any area from career to personal life. These 10 techniques will help you become more calm and deal with insecurities.

You will definitely have to leave your comfort zone and go in search of good luck if you have not decided to waste your life. The more self-confident, the more successful your position and affairs.

Without self-confidence, it is difficult to succeed in any area of life, because it consists entirely of situations in which you have to leave your comfort zone. And all of them, from meetings and negotiations to sales and people management, are better for you, the more confident you are. These 10 tricks will help you deal with insecurity.

How to increase self-confidence

1. Never forget your strengths and don't be too hard on yourself.

For personal use only, make a list of your inherent strengths and what you are really good at. Be honest with yourself and avoid false modesty. It is not necessary to look for and write down outstanding qualities in yourself, these are enough: I keep my desktop in order, I finish what I started, a good memory, and so on. Review this list every week and add new items if possible. There are no ideal people. We all make mistakes. And not always they occur solely through our fault.

2. Watch your health

If you are in good shape, you can achieve a lot. Regular physical exercise, which you enjoy doing, develops strength, perseverance and increases stress resistance. Eat a healthy diet and get enough sleep. Breaks for rest, time for relaxation and time for yourself should become as integral a part of your daily routine as, for example, brushing your teeth. Enjoy the fact that you look good and try to take everything from life. People around you will treat you with interest and respect.

3. Stay calm and try to alleviate stress

Avoid hustle and bustle. Develop stress tolerance. Simple relaxation and stress management techniques will soothe your body and mind and become your lifeline. Find time for relaxation every day - at least five minutes. Practice mindfulness for at least a minute every day. Those few minutes will bring a big return.

4. Remember your rights

Remember that you, like any person, have rights that must be respected at work. Here are some of them: you have the right to your own opinion, to be treated with respect and as an equal, not to be insulted, to be listened to. You have the right to make a mistake, to fail, and to try again.

5. Be assertive (but not aggressive!)

Be respectful of yourself and other people, learn to compromise and say “no” when necessary. In a conflict situation, be prepared to negotiate and compromise. When possible, strive to ensure that all parties are satisfied with the outcome.

6. Plan

Plan, prioritize and be organized - you need to know where you are now, where you want to go and how you plan to get there. Know exactly what you want. Weigh everything carefully and plan. Decide what your first step will be and take it. Be prepared to adjust your plan as needed. Whatever challenge you face, prepare for it. If possible, rehearse your actions in advance, such as giving a presentation. Pay due attention to this, and you will not only prepare for the upcoming event, but also increase your confidence and self-esteem.

7. Body language

Move and speak confidently, and you will not only look like it, but actually feel like it. Raise your head, relax your shoulders and body, and make eye contact with the other person. Show calmness and confidence when you open the door and enter the room. An open posture, a firm handshake, a calm voice will show the interlocutor that you are glad to see him and communicate with him. Your speech should be clear, rhythmic, and infect with enthusiasm. Show your sincere interest and you can show yourself as a charismatic speaker!

8. Write down your plans and goals

Use for this The Diary. It should be convenient and efficient.

9. Visualize

Imagine situations in which you would like to feel more confident in as much detail as possible. Think step by step possible development events and try to successfully cope with all the difficulties.

10. Regularly review your progress

What have you been able to achieve? What didn't go so smoothly? Decide what you plan to do next. Be flexible and willing to change. Move forward towards your goal.

You will succeed!

Based on the book "Self-Confidence"

Without self-confidence, it is difficult to succeed, because business is all about situations in which you have to leave your comfort zone. And all of them, from meetings and negotiations to sales and managing people, are better for you, the more confident you are.

Here are 7 tricks to boost your self-confidence.

1. Never forget your strengths and don't be too hard on yourself.

2. Watch your health.

3. Keep calm and try to alleviate stress.

4. Remember that you, like everyone else, have rights.,

which must be followed at work. Here are some of them: you have the right to your own opinion, to be treated with respect and as an equal, not to be insulted, to be listened to. You have the right to make a mistake, to fail, and to try again.

5. Plan, prioritize and stay organized

You need to know where you are now, where you want to go and how you plan to get there. Know exactly what you want. Weigh everything carefully and plan. Decide what your first step will be and take it. Be prepared to adjust your plan as needed. Whatever challenge you face, prepare for it. If possible, rehearse your actions in advance, such as giving a presentation. Pay due attention to this, and you will not only prepare for the upcoming event, but also increase your confidence and self-esteem.

6. Body language.

7. Visualize.

Imagine that you are chewing on a slice of lemon... Your mouth must have filled with saliva. So? The thing is that the human brain is not very good at distinguishing between what is happening in the imagination and in real world. That is why one of the simplest and effective ways strengthening willpower is a visualization.

All you need to do is imagine a situation in which you want to feel more confident. Try to get a detailed image, then for a few minutes, work through the situation in your mind step by step, coping with any difficulties that you think may arise. The task may sound strange, but it is easy to complete, and the technique works.

You will succeed!

Learn more about how to develop self-confidence and self-esteem in the book

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