If the boss humiliates. Insult in the workplace: norms, punishment and useful tips. Protection of rights and recognition of errors

We spend most of our lives at work. And a lot depends on the relationship in the team on the general condition and " Feel» myself, before a career in this place takes shape. And if it is easier to deal with relations with subordinates, because we are on the same level with these people, then conflicts with superiors can unsettle for a long time, or even turn life into real torture.

What to do if the boss yells?

Try to find an approach to the boss. We are all people, so you can find your own approach to everyone, and by adhering to this policy, you can change your attitude towards yourself. Only here you need to be very careful, because sycophancy here will not only not help, but most likely will only aggravate the situation.

Do not succumb to provocations and do not respond with rudeness and shouting. You don’t need to lash out in response, even if you understand that the boss finds fault with every little thing, this is exactly what usually happens. Be calm and reserved.

Remember that it is from this person that to a large extent depends on what will be written in your work book, which means not only this position, but also the opportunity to find a new place, so check every word, even if the boss is constantly yelling.

No need to go to the other extreme namely, begging for forgiveness or allowing yourself to be publicly humiliated. In this case, such an attitude will become the “norm”, and you will lose the respect of not only your boss, but also your colleagues.

Pay attention to that that if the boss yells at subordinates only in some cases, then you can “turn a blind eye” to this. Everyone has situations when you involuntarily break down on others.

Try to answer only after the boss "screams". Only in this case he will be able to assess the situation adequately. Now start a constructive conversation.

Moderate the ardor of the boss, and do it calmly, but firmly, if the accusations against you in a raised tone dragged on. But, behave with dignity, do not allow reciprocal hysteria on your part.

If, nevertheless, without talking in raised tones you can’t do it, try not to do it in front of witnesses. There are claims to the boss - voice them not in the format of screams and in a confidential stop.

If you still deserve a "spanking", calmly admit your mistake, but add that there was absolutely no need to make a remark in such a harsh tone. Speak calmly and don't rush.

, use neutral phrases for the occasion. Like, yes, I understood, took into account, in the future I will not make such mistakes, etc. Then shake off the negative emotions and keep working.

If comments are made to you one by one and the same thing, try to fix it. Are you constantly late? Leave early. Make up brightly, clothes do not match the dress code, delay work, etc., if these are systematic violations, then only your fault.

Even if the boss yells at subordinates, to set conditions for him is absolutely useless. And in case the best worker set a condition - do not yell at him or he will leave work, etc. This will most likely backfire. So the conditions here are incorrect.

Don't try to get revenge on your boss. It doesn’t matter if these are petty dirty tricks, or idle gossip that can well spoil his reputation, rather you yourself will suffer from such behavior, or rather your own reputation and resume.

At the same time, don't let yourself be taken advantage of., if the screams of management are a way to force you to stay at work or perform an unbearable amount of it, then you need to not only note that you do not deserve such an attitude, but also reconsider the distribution of responsibilities between employees. Don't forget your rights.

If the boss constantly yells, understand the reasons for his behavior. Sometimes this is really an occasion to discuss the situation, and in some cases, dismissal will be the best way out. Of course, if you observe such a “special” relationship only in your direction.

If the boss yells at subordinates all the time, does not hold back and considers this the norm, this is also a reason to either quit, because it is impossible to fix a person (but try it first), or prepare for proceedings with higher management.

And yet, remember that most leaders are quite adequate people, the main thing is to defend themselves and earn a reputation. And also, use advice to employees in cases where the manager switches to raised voices.

» Bosses-tyrants

How to "put in place" presumptuous boss
(Methods of confronting tyrant bosses)

Bosses are different: smart and stupid, good and evil, cunning and not very. Unfortunately, there are also real “thugs” who, for some reason, decided that their position and social status allow them to humiliate the dignity of those who depend on them to one degree or another. What to do, money and power often spoil people.

Do not give in to the big bosses who call you the last words, spitting saliva and stamping their feet in rage. You need to be able to talk to them. And do not forget about your interests. There are behavioral strategies developed by psychologists specifically for such cases. If kissing the boss somewhere lower back is not your style, read this article carefully.

You may be the object of disdain or humiliation for showing up to work without a tie; for being unintentionally late; for not understanding the order you were given, etc. The most common situation is that you made some kind of mistake. Your supervisor has discovered it and is letting you know that you shouldn't have done it, that you're no good, and so on. This is done in a rude and offensive manner, very often in front of witnesses. Unfortunately, many managers see the opportunity to point out to a subordinate about his mistakes as another reason to show his superiority. They love to focus on this, savor the miscalculations of the employee, thereby humiliating him as a person.

Your possible actions:

Option 1. Of course, instead of listening to bossy nonsense, you can always state publicly in appropriate terms that you and such a boss are not on the way. After that, of course, it remains only to leave the office with your head held high. “Having said this, the count retired with dignity. All in white, ”the Strugatskys, it seems. But on the way to the labor exchange, you will amuse your own vanity to your heart's content, remembering how you put "this cretin" in his place. True, a less pleasant scenario may happen: the boss's security will take over you and you will not leave the company on your own, but fly out into the street with your things.

Option 2. You flare up and answer in the style of "the fool himself": say that he has no right to criticize you, because he himself makes mistakes, he is late, etc. And in general - you are a qualified specialist and are able to cope with the work without his instructions.

This is a bad choice. Bosses do not like it when subordinates point out their shortcomings, especially in public. Therefore, I do not undertake to predict the result. Most likely, it will be the same as in paragraph 1. You will lose your job.

Option 3. You fall to your knees, tear your shirt on your chest, sprinkle ashes on your head, humbly apologize and ask for mercy on you. Then say that you are sorry that it was stupid of you and that it will never happen again.

This version is slightly better than the previous one. Replacing anger with mercy, the boss can grant you his forgiveness. Only one is bad. If you have even a drop of your own dignity, you will not be able to get rid of the feeling that you have wiped your feet for a long time. In addition, meekly accepting humiliation in your address, you recognize your own insignificance. By demonstrating a lack of pride and self-respect, you run the risk that not only the leader, but also your fellow colleagues will eventually cease to reckon with you. The fact is that the phenomenon of imitation is very developed in organizations. And if an authoritative leader or boss chooses you as a "boy (girl) to beat", sooner or later other employees will start copying his behavior. The flock follows its leader - the ancients knew about this.

I am convinced that you deserve more. After all, you came to the firm to sell your professional knowledge, experience and skills, and not yourself. Therefore, the manifestation of self-esteem is quite appropriate. You can defend your interests and keep your job.

Option 4. First, it's best to let the boss speak, i.e. "let off steam" before trying to respond. Wait until he is able to listen to you. Next, you admit that you made a mistake, that you regret it, and next time you will be more careful. Then you add that your boss (boss) speaks in a rather harsh tone, and you do not see the need for this. Secondly, it is best to sort things out with the boss in a confidential setting.

And one more thing: do not try to give your boss ultimatums like: "If this happens again, I will immediately leave your company." Bosses hate it when subordinates put conditions on them. In the end, you can always write a letter of resignation without Chinese warnings. Better just say that this style of behavior prevents you from focusing on your official duties. Then politely but firmly ask your boss to slow down.

Of course, there is a risk that you will be fired, even if you express objections in the correct form. There are psychopathic bosses who do not tolerate any manifestation of self-respect on the part of their subordinates. They need a slightly different approach. (I’ll talk about this in a moment.) But most managers respect those employees who honestly express their own opinions in the proper - confident and correct form, without hurting the pride of their boss.

***
Humiliation can take not only a verbally aggressive form. No less offensive and so-called. passive derogatory behavior. These are hurtful jokes, and ironic remarks addressed to you, and sarcastic smiles, and a politely dismissive tone of orders, and contemptuous notes in your boss's voice ... All this is done with the aim of humiliating you, but it is done in a veiled manner and as if in passing .

In such cases, you should not pretend that you do not notice the humiliation. If you keep silent, you kind of agree to treat you in the same way in the future, recognize the boss’s right to consider you something insignificant, not worth special attention and more importantly, respect.

In such situations, the following strategy helps. Don't try to suppress your feelings. Say that you are worried about this behavior of the boss, that you do not like jokes about you at all. Ask him directly what it means.

When you seek clarification, you have the opportunity to "put in place" your counterpart. That is, you caught him (her) in a not entirely fair game, demand an explanation and make it clear that you should be treated as an equal. And you do it in a correct and confident manner, so a good relationship between you and the boss may well get better

***
However, there are bosses, to which the above strategies are not only ineffective, but also dangerous. Usually these are bosses with an extremely unbalanced temperament and excessive excitability, which regularly finds an outlet in outbursts of uncontrollable emotions: from “quiet tyranny” to wild seizures. To sort things out with them at such moments means calling a big trouble on your head.

Oddly enough, such bosses are often loved and respected by subordinates. This is the classic type of "father-director". Everyone believes in him. He is the undisputed leader. Workers treat him only as a benefactor. And there are reasons for this. He punishes and encourages at his own discretion, usually does not like to lay off staff reductions (“better victorious, but together”), everyone can turn to him with a personal problem. For this he is forgiven a lot: mistakes, bad habits, rudeness.

But when he's excited, it's best to stay away from him. If his nerves are on edge, he arranges a scolding for anyone who falls under his hot hand. And while not particularly ceremonious in expressions. True, he quickly forgets about it. Therefore, at such moments it is useful to recall the old soldier's wisdom: "Away from the authorities - closer to the kitchen." Try not to catch his eye for a while, and the conflict will resolve itself.

Much more dangerous is another type of boss - sadistic psychopaths, they are also "classic" petty tyrants. Unlike the previous ones, these humiliate subordinates not in a fit of uncontrollable anger, but consciously and purposefully, for their own pleasure. And if such a boss chooses you as his victim, you will not be able to sit quietly in a corner.

Social psychopaths on leadership positions enough today. Unfortunately, the current life in our country is in every way conducive to this. They are characterized by excellent "fighting" qualities, total absence remorse, vanity and uncriticality in assessing their own actions. Plus, the ever-present syndrome of suspicion of everyone and everything in all sorts of intrigues. The arrogance inherent in such types (a strong type of nervous system!) In combination with infallible self-confidence usually paralyzes the will and ability to resist the victim. In addition, they have a well-developed instinct for people who are psychologically weaker than them. And a well-developed intuition allows you to avoid real fighters who can adequately respond to such a style of "leadership". All these qualities allow social psychopaths to reach significant career heights.

It has been established that the psychotype of the tyrant boss, oddly enough, almost completely coincides with the psychotype ... of a serial killer. This is one field of berries. Only one gets the highest pleasure, spilling rivers of blood, and the other is eager to "drink" it drop by drop, tormenting and humiliating his subordinates day after day. Both have primary motivations - sexual lust, painful aggressiveness or a thirst for revenge, whimsically transform into an intoxication with power and a desire to command people. In everyday life, both are often gray and unremarkable people. No matter how you recall the quiet teacher Chikatilo or the “simple worker” Onoprienko. And service monsters, who terrorize entire teams at work, in everyday life are often “henpecked” by a wife or mistress.

Even coming to a firm run by a psychopathic boss can be hard sometimes. The terrorized workers jump up like automata and rattle off a memorized text in a patter. Like, our company is the best company in the world, etc. Although, for people who are inclined to be shy in front of a strong government, this makes a great impression. (“A real leader! And what a team he has!”) Such a boss masterfully gropes for exactly the way that is applicable to specific employee. Guilty, frighten him. Everything is used - both an ironic smile at the right moment, and a rude shout.

The ideal worker for such a boss is a slave who should have tremors in the knees from the mere sight of a commanding person. And such managers begin to intimidate their employees already when applying for a job - at an interview. Therefore, you will always have time to weigh all the pros and cons, decide for yourself whether it is worth working in such a company. I do not urge you to slam the door loudly and give up any attempt to take the right position in such an organization. Just prepare yourself for a certain style of behavior with your future boss.

The most important thing is to learn to shake off that sticky fear that they will try to smear you with. The sadistic boss always tries to make his subordinate not just dependent, but anxious, and if he succeeds, he brings this anxiety to convulsions. Don't give in. And get into less verbal skirmishes with him. Such bosses are experienced demagogues and brilliant orators, shamelessly and skillfully confusing the opponent. They have a good conversation technique. They know how to confuse the interlocutor with one remark, to prevent the development of thought, if for some reason they do not like this thought. In addition, such bosses have a very perverted logic of thinking: “If an employee contradicts me, then he is not afraid. If he is not afraid, then he does not respect. Therefore, those who are not afraid to openly object to the boss do not stay long at such a company.

And defending yourself against psychopathic bosses is easy. If you are too annoyed by your boss's intimidating "dances", you just need to mentally put a wall between him and yourself. Create a screen between you. To do this, imagine an impenetrable wall. What you build it from is up to your imagination. Made of brick, steel, armored glass, just dense air, a magnetic field... And you will suddenly see how the big boss spitting and stamping his feet will become completely indifferent to you.

In this case, the change is striking. They suddenly become polite and calm. Even benevolent ones. Most often, they have a feeling of respect beyond their control for a person whom they cannot “break through”.

Psychologists also advise covering such bosses with an imaginary glass. But this is no longer entirely humane - they begin to feel very uncomfortable, get nervous and, feeling their powerlessness in front of you, begin to take out their anger on other employees.

Learn to evoke this calm indifference in your feelings and turn it on when you need it. At least with this technique, you are guaranteed against unsolicited pressure on your personality.

***
Finally, I will tell you how to "siege" an overly enterprising boss. There are bosses who do not seem to be bloodthirsty, but are quite capable of driving their subordinates to quiet madness with their idiotic undertakings and "valuable" instructions. For example, you are a qualified specialist and have been developing a project for six months. Finally, inspired, you carry it to the big boss for approval. The following is a typical situation. The big boss, who understands the specifics of your activity as much as the hare understands geometry, nevertheless considers it his duty to point out your mistakes and requires you to make adjustments. You understand that this is a disaster for the project, that the proposed changes put an end to it. You know, but you can't do anything. It is useless to argue with the boss - they enter the boss's office with their own opinion, and leave with self-knowledge.

In the course of its labor activity various situations arise, and the question of what to do if the boss survives from work becomes serious. Often you have to deal with extreme psychological stress and stress, leading to conflicts within the team. It should be understood that the leader bears the main responsibility for subordinates, for everything that happens in the company, which is why it may seem that he began to carp too much for no good reason.

The subordinate must clearly understand how he can resist the powerful psychological impact of the authorities that control his activities. Any senior management will definitely not like the lack of success of an employee, since his colleagues will probably have to do not their own, but someone else's work “for two”. This will lead to missed deadlines, additional financial losses and unwanted emotional stress.

Employee behavior

A very common situation is when people sacrifice themselves, overstep certain principles in order to please their superiors. They believe that in this way they can not aggravate the existing difficult situation. In some situations, this can really help, but it is important to recognize the critical point of "no return" in a timely manner.

When a boss forces you to do extra work, regularly humiliates or openly mocks an employee, the latter needs to take decisive action. The manifestation of a defensive reaction should be aimed at maintaining one's own psychological health, relieving emotional fatigue, and maintaining a favorable working atmosphere.

Hired employees of public and private structures should be aware of the existence of Article 37 of the Constitution of the Russian Federation, which protects citizens from unreasonable attacks from the head. Each employee is provided with:

the ability to independently choose the field of activity and the employer;
the right to obtain a profession at will;
protection of interests and free choice of labor.

Any boss according to Labor Code The Russian Federation is prohibited from discriminating against subordinates. When a manager forces them to do something that is not prescribed in the employment contract or legislation, deliberately worsens the position of an employee based on personal hostility, racial, national, social or other motives, one can complain about such actions without any problems.

Clarifying the relationship with the leader

Many are concerned about the question of what is best to do if the boss finds fault, begins to insult and exert psychological pressure on the subordinate. The first thing to do is to tactfully inform the manager about what is happening. It is recommended that the interview be conducted in a calm and confidential environment. The employer must understand that the humiliation or disrespect shown reduces the desire of the subordinate to work fruitfully and benefit the company.

You should not yell or pressure your boss as if you are no longer going to work with him. All considerations and proposals should be expressed as correctly, consistently and confidently as possible. A competent employer will listen to adequate criticism, put forward their proposals and take constructive actions to stabilize the situation.

Having only one goal in front of you, how to put the boss in his place, in a conversation with him you should behave professionally and not show familiarity. Any form of expression of disrespect is usually taken as a challenge, which will certainly be accepted. The employer has the right to dismiss employees even for harsh and spontaneous statements, so it is advisable to think about the future dialogue in advance, weigh all the positive and negative outcomes of possible communication.

Looking for another job

An employee experiencing problems with management is advised to decide whether it is worth looking for a common language with him. You should also evaluate your professional skills, whether similar troubles will arise in another workplace. In some situations, you need to look for the cause of the conflict in yourself.

If the boss finds fault for any reason, maintains total control over the entire labor process, expresses unambiguous hints of dismissal and expresses daily distrust, there is every reason for the subordinate to look for a new employer. Further cooperation, is likely to lead to an aggravation of the existing situation and negative moments for the employee himself.

The greatest anxiety is usually caused not by a yelling or humiliating leader, but by one who makes you perform an excessive number of tasks without substantiating their necessity and the order of their solution. In such situations, the employee will in most situations be considered the culprit of any negative outcome. The results that appear will be unacceptable, even if they are successful.

An employee not only needs to know how to write an explanatory note, but also how to issue a letter of resignation. It is desirable to find another suitable workplace that satisfies both working conditions and wages.

Protection of rights and recognition of errors

The conflicts that have arisen between the employer and the subordinate are capable of going beyond what is permitted. neglect legal rights of a citizen, the tyranny of the leader causes a desire to understand how to punish the boss. On the basis of Article 352 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation, Russians have the right to defend their interests and freedoms:

through trade unions of the enterprise;
through independent struggle;
by filing an application with the courts;
by writing a complaint against the boss - a sample can be downloaded on our website.

The greatest effect is obtained by applying to state regulatory organizations that carry out control and supervisory functions to ensure labor legislation.

Before a complaint against the boss is drafted and sent, it is worth sorting out the conflict. Self-criticism usually helps. In some cases, the expressed dissatisfaction on the part of the head has good reasons. Mistakes must be worked on and corrected.

Here, the problem is not how to fire the boss, but frankly admit to flaws. It is important for the parties to calm down and find a constructive solution to the problem. The effect of shifting your guilt to another person will definitely not be. An employee who does not want to work on bugs, constantly referring to external factors as an excuse, most likely, he himself will soon be fired.

Insults of the authorities

The reaction on the part of the employee is determined based on what the leader actually wants, trying to humiliate or yell at the subordinate. If the boss yells and groundlessly accuses of something in order to fire the person, it is recommended to immediately file an application with the labor inspectorate. Supervisory authorities are required to see personal motives and psychological impact. It is better to avoid any provocative actions and not to succumb to them.

The complaint should be written when the manager received an explanation from the accused. The employee should state objectively all the circumstances of the issue and express the intention of contacting the labor inspectorate. Identification of violations by the employer is fraught for the latter with punishment under the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Usually a warning or a fine is issued:

from 1 to 5 thousand rubles for an official;
from 1 to 5 thousand rubles for a private entrepreneur;
from 30 to 50 thousand rubles for a legal entity.

Legal entities in most situations bear the maximum responsibility and are more willing to resolve the conflict.

An appeal to the labor inspectorate should contain information about the essence of the problem, the chronological order of its development, the personal data of the employer, the provisions employment contract and other agreements. Confirming facts can be video or audio recording of the communication of counterparties, copies electronic correspondence and data from social networks.

Responsibility for humiliation at work

If the boss is a tyrant and tries to survive the employee by any means, this will probably be classified as bullying, since the manager’s statements and his corresponding actions can be considered a direct insult. We are talking about the humiliation of the honor and dignity of a person, expressed in a harsh and indecent form.

Practice shows that in such matters the manager will face administrative responsibility and penalties of up to 3,000 rubles. The employee, for his part, should make it clear to his superiors that this kind of relationship is unacceptable. If this does not bring the desired effect, it is recommended to immediately contact the prosecutor's office.

A written appeal must contain the time and date of the event, the nature of the actions of the chief, his statements and negative actions in relation to the victim. Details in the application are best avoided, since all the details will be clarified later. The prosecutor, after studying the materials, decides whether to initiate a criminal case or refuse to do so. The verdict can be challenged through a higher authority, including the court.

If a case is initiated by the prosecutor, the necessary actions are taken to establish the circumstances of the case and to identify the fact of an offense. This is done by individual survey of colleagues. The investigation time cannot exceed 30 days. The results of the proceedings are transferred to the court, where the case is considered up to 14 days, which depends on the workload of the relevant authorities. The results of the investigation may be bringing the employer to liability or closing the administrative proceedings. You have up to 10 days to contest the decision.

The best course of action is to let the boss speak before responding. Wait for the moment when she will be able to perceive your words. You can then admit the mistake you made and promise not to do it again. After that, it should be noted too sharp tone, which has no basis. It is best if this conversation takes place in private. In no case do not put ultimatums and conditions - the management cannot stand this. Just politely but firmly ask to tone down. Of course, there is a risk that you will be fired after this, but most managers respect employees who openly and honestly express their opinions in the right correct form, without affecting the pride of management.

Offensive behaviour

Often leaders do not stop at harsh statements alone, then passive-pejorative behavior is used. These can be offensive jokes, irony, a dismissive or contemptuous tone, etc. All this is a polite attempt to humiliate.

In such cases, it is absolutely impossible to remain indifferent and pretend that nothing is happening. Otherwise, such behavior of the boss will quickly become a habit, in addition, your colleagues can adopt the same style of communication with you. It's best to tell the manager directly that you're not happy with the attitude and ask him to explain what it all means. This will give you the opportunity to put the boss in his place, to make her treat you as an equal. Remember to speak confidently and correctly.

Types of bosses

The classic type of "mother-director" - she is an authoritative leader, she is loved and respected, but when she is angry, stay away from her. At such a moment, the best thing to do is to hide in the office for a while and plunge headlong into work. After a while, it will cool down and everything will be forgotten.

Much more dangerous than a tyrant boss. They humiliate subordinates for their own pleasure, doing it quite deliberately. You won't be able to sit here. The ideal employee for such a leader is a slave whose knees should shake at the sight of her. Often, such managers begin to intimidate potential employees at the interview. And if you decide to get a job in such a company, then be prepared to rebuff the boss.

The most important thing you need to do is not be afraid. Such bosses try to put subordinates in an alarming addiction. Resist and keep all verbal skirmishes to a minimum. Build a fictional impenetrable wall in front of you and you will be amazed at how indifferent your leader will become to you. But her behavior will change dramatically, she will become polite and begin to respect you.

Most people at least once in their careers have been in a situation where they had to endure insults from their boss (or did not endure it). What is the reason for the defiant behavior of people in high positions?

So, one of the studies on the nature of the aggression of leaders showed that a possible reason is lack of confidence in their professional skills. This conclusion was reached by California scientists Nathanael Fast and Serena Chen, who conducted a survey where respondents had to evaluate themselves from a professional point of view and indicate how aggressive they are at work. It turned out that people who show aggression in high positions doubt their professional skills, while those who are confident in their competence rated their behavior as "calm".

Problems from childhood

Bosses who humiliate subordinates are a very common occurrence. From the point of view of psychologists, a person who humiliates experiences deep inner psychological discomfort.

A possible reason is the difficulties that were in childhood or adolescence. The person may not have been the best student, or he may have been teased and bullied at school, offended in the yard, and the mental trauma has not yet been healed. And these traumas that go deep from childhood lead to the fact that their owners, having gained access to power, begin to poison their subordinates, - says Natalya Storozheva, general director of the Perspektiva center, teacher at the Russian School of Management.

What is humiliation? According to Olga Obedkova-Muravich, lawyer, positive psychologist, e the emergence of shame, feelings in a person who is wounded, offended. There is such a concept in criminal law as victimization - the victim himself attracts the criminal, because he has a "victim" deep inside him. But it often happens that the relationship in the "offender - victim" pair changes, and the one who suffered begins to humiliate himself. This happens in teams as well.

This is laid down in childhood, up to three years, when parents themselves "turn on" the program of shame, forbidding children to study themselves, study the world around them, overly controlling. At some point, shame becomes unbearable, and the child begins to perform forbidden actions to relieve. And the child has a desire to be caught, punished, and he already feels sorry for himself in advance, - says Olga Obedkova-Muravich.

Unhappy in the family - tyrant at work

Another common reason is family and personal difficulties. When you feel inadequate in your personal life, you lash out at your subordinates.

We were interviewed by a woman in her 50s, financial director. She interviewed candidates for the position of financial analyst. So, she calmly talked with the first two candidates and suddenly attacked the third one for no apparent reason. She began to ask difficult questions, find fault, distort. And when the door closed behind the girl, to my dumb question, expressed in her eyes, the director replied: "I can't help myself. I know that she's wrong, but she looks so much like my daughter-in-law!" This is a manifestation of internal accumulated aggression, - says Natalya Storozheva.

Insolvency

When a person built a career with great difficulty, experienced many humiliations, difficulties, drank a lot of poison, climbing career ladder, then, having taken a significant step, he begins to recoup his subordinates.

One sales manager told us how he wants to recruit a good management team. But when we started watching people, he smashed to smithereens one by one. I ask him: "Tell me, do you understand that you will not form a sales department with this approach?" And the answer was: "Do you know how much they nagged me before I became a leader? How much I was underpaid? And you think that I will let someone climb this ladder easily?" And it turns out that business tasks are overlapped by psychological trauma, - says Natalya Storozheva.

Storozheva tells another story about a PR manager who left her job because her boss hounded her. No matter what the PR woman wrote, all the texts did not suit the leader, she wanted it to be just the way she sees it, and literally forced her to write from dictation.

The sentence "Maybe you will write it yourself or the secretary will write it down for you, and post it on the site?" provoked aggression. When we began to understand more deeply, it turned out that the director had a journalistic education in the past, but she did not have a journalistic career. And although now she has a post commercial director, her failed past, non-recognition as a journalist, did not give her the opportunity to treat the work of a PR manager objectively, neutrally.

Suffering is only at will

It is impossible to humiliate someone who does not allow this: this humiliation will ricochet from him.

Wounded people become leaders why? To move from the position of a victim to the position of a tyrant - to hurt others, to see how they suffer. He may not remember how his mother humiliated him as a child, but he still has childhood insecurity, which he is trying to eradicate from himself. And if people appear in the team who can repulse the tyrant, then they gather all the strength of the spirit and destroy the aggressor. The one who humiliates is always weak, and by humiliating, he shows his weakness, demonstrating that he cannot cope with the situation, - Olga Obedkova-Muravich continues.

In general, many managers simply do not want to understand psychology, motivation, and management issues. It is easier for them to become a dictator who imposes harsh conditions, humiliates and insults, and this will bear fruit.

At the same time, outside of work, such bosses often do not even use obscene expressions. It's just their management style. For example, in Siberia there are big company for the production of carbonated drinks. Billions of rubles turnover. You look at the director - well, a complete tyrant. Yells, builds, humiliates. But at the same time, he raised the plant from scratch in a few years. And here the question is not whether it is good or bad, but that it gives certain results, - Alexander Belanovsky, a business consultant, gives an example.

Rough expressions as a management tool

Many do not understand decent words, says Alexander Belanovsky.

I know a man who built a sales business from scratch theater tickets, in two years he has already opened seven branches. He has a tough business style. And this is not due to psychological trauma, but to the fact that he has a large network of agents, a lot of people working on phones, respectively, the staff is often replaced, and each newcomer needs to be trained. All his meetings and planning meetings are held in high tones and in incorrect terms, but this gives a real result, his business is developing, - says Alexander Belanovsky, business consultant.

Sales, especially large companies(including in Western countries) rarely does without foul language, says Belanovsky. According to him, maybe this is not entirely correct and correct, but in this case, conveying information with biting and capacious expressions is the easiest way.

Masochism at work

Much depends on the psychology of the leader himself. Alexander Belanovsky distinguishes between two types of bosses - a "hen-hen" who will sit with everyone, talk, and understand every problem. And there are "American sergeants." In principle, they do not know how to find a common language with employees - here's a shovel for you, go dig, or you'll be fired.

One more interesting thing, which can be seen by studying the training market: there is a category of people who get high results only when they are treated incorrectly. For example, tens of thousands of people a year sign up for weight loss trainings. And there the words "fat cow" - the most affectionate expression, perhaps. But the people who go there want to be beaten, kicked, humiliated, and only then can they produce results. And it is the same in work: there are people who want to be controlled through humiliation, they want to obey. And there are many of them, not one percent. And they perceive rudeness normally, but with "brood hens" they simply do nothing, do not give any result. The main thing is not to forget that rudeness can take place when it suits both parties. And if a subordinate is dissatisfied with this type of management - what can you do, all that remains is to quit, well, you can still sue, - summed up Belanovsky.

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