The skit scenario is our friendly team of the club. Folk holiday "cabbage party". "Grandfather planted cabbage"

Announcement posted in advance:

"Come have some fun

Play and frolic.

You on Saturday exactly at five

The cabbage man will be waiting.

Those who are younger

On Sunday we are waiting for lunch.

The script can be used as a variant of autumn gatherings. Then the hall is decorated with leaves, flowers, autumn gifts, autumn dishes, etc. The presenters come out. The scene is decorated with "portraits" of the hero of the occasion - cabbage.

1st presenter. For many centuries BC, people used cabbage, including as a medicine. Man began to cultivate cabbage during the Stone and Bronze Ages.

2nd host. Cabbage was brought to the territory of Russia from abroad by Russian merchants. In Russia, cabbage was chopped, salted, parties were held in honor of this event, where they danced, sang, played. Such evenings were called skits. 1st leader. So we invite everyone to our holiday!

Girls come out, boys in Russian folk costumes, sing a Russian folk song. Then a young man runs out.

Youth.

Come have fun

Play and frolic.

You on Saturday exactly at five

We'll be waiting for the cabbage patch.

Those who are younger

On Sunday we are waiting for lunch.

On stage, the decoration of a Russian hut: a table with cabbages, knives, a trough for chopping cabbage. Girls, boys come in, sing a song.

- What a harvest!

- Yes, the cabbage was born to glory!

- No end of work!

(They get to work.)

- Yes, how tough!

- Here's a riddle.

The child grew up - did not know diapers,

Became an old man - a hundred diapers on him?

(Cabbage)

“I have another riddle.

What grows in the garden?

Cucumbers, sweet peas,

Tomatoes and dill

For seasoning and for testing.

There are radishes and lettuce.

Our garden is just a treasure ...

If you listened carefully

Remembered for sure.

Answer in order

Like on Kapustin's name day

We cut down a head of cabbage.

Here is such a height

Here is such a low

Here are the dinners

Here's the width.

stalk, stalk,

Hop on me!

"Grandfather planted cabbage."

Each of the children pulls out a capsule (kinder surprise egg) from the lottery drum, inside which is a picture that determines the role of the players: grandfather with a wand, grandmother with knitting needles, granddaughter with a bow, shaggy bug, mustachioed cat, tailed mouse. Thus, participants of six competitions are determined. The winners of each of these competitions participate in the final - this will be the first cabbage harvesting team. Then the auction follows, and the winners make up the second team, also of 6 players. It's like the "cabbage" itself. And the finale is an old Russian game: tug of war.

1st presenter. First we will form teams, then we will hold a final competition. The “cabbage” harvesting team will win, which means that they pulled out the cabbage, and the “cabbage” team will win, which means that our gardeners did not cope: such a record harvest turned out.

2nd leader. So, let's get to the game itself. Grandfather planted cabbage. (Children repeat the words of the fairy tale in unison.) Big, big cabbage has grown. The grandfathers are the first to enter the game.

Those participants who got the corresponding pictures go out.

1st presenter. Girls can also be "grandfathers" - this is our rule. And now attention! I must say that our grandfather is a real gardener, not without reason that his cabbage grew the size of a barrel. He probably manages to do everything: dig the earth, grow seedlings, and protect the harvest. Therefore, our first competition is called "Scarecrow". Imagine that you need to guard vegetables so that sparrows and crows do not peck at them. Stand side by side, arms out to the sides. Each is a scarecrow. Here are your hats. Now listen, I will call the birds: "sparrow" - you wave your hands, "crow" - you clap your hands, as if driving away thieves. If I say "tit" or "starling" - take off your hat to greet the guests, because these birds are the gardener's first helpers. They eat harmful goats. Yes, look, do not confuse. The one who is the most attentive wins. He will be in our game "grandfather". So let's get started!

2nd host. “Grandmothers” take part in our second competition. Say what you like, my grandmother knows how to do everything: clean the house, cook borscht, and bake a delicious pie. And on long winter evenings, a grandmother knits mittens and socks for her grandchildren. Let's help grandmothers rewind balls of yarn.

Participants who got pictures with the image of a grandmother rewind small balls of yarn at speed, the winner joins the grandfather's company.

1st presenter. “Granddaughters” are invited to participate in the third competition. This competition is very simple. Grandfather and grandmother like to drink tea from a samovar. A samovar is not an electric kettle, so that the water boils, you first need to put coals in it, and then blow them up red hot. This is where the granddaughter comes to the rescue. To test how you know how to blow, we will hold a contest. Everyone gets a balloon. We count to 15 in chorus, whoever has the larger ball gets the role of a granddaughter.

Participants inflate balloons.

2nd host. The following participants enter the fight. They will fight for the right to become "Bug". Our competition is called "Smuggler". The most important thing about dogs is their sense of smell. At the border, dogs often help border guards find prohibited goods. You have to do the same using your nose.

Before the start of this competition, the participants go out the door. The facilitator distributes the capsules to the remaining players. A “filling” is placed in one capsule - a piece of foam rubber, abundantly moistened with cologne or other odorous liquid. The task of the players is to find the capsule with the filling. Previously, all participants get acquainted with this smell.

1st presenter. "Murkas" take part in the new competition. Infrequently, a cat gets something tasty. But sometimes it happens. Either the grandfather will give a fishtail, or the granddaughter will give a piece of the pie. The mustachioed does not yawn - grab its prey in the teeth and run to a secluded place to feast on your heart's content. She has such a habit. And now the contest "Hide faster."

Competitors must move clothespins from one place to another using only their teeth. Only one clothespin can be taken at a time.

2nd host. The game is played by mice. A mouse has a very mobile tail. And we invite our "mice" to participate in a competition called "Catch the mouse by the tail."

Participants must lower a pencil tied to the back on a string into the bottle. Whoever does it faster without the help of hands wins.

1st presenter. Finally, the whole family is together: grandfather, grandmother, granddaughter, Bug, cat, mouse (the participants are dressed accordingly). Just no cabbage. And we will have a whole team as “cabbage”. And in order to get into it, you need to know the relatives of our cabbage well. Your task is to name the types of cabbage (white, Beijing, Brussels, cauliflower, red, kohlrabi).

Those who named go to the side and make up the “cabbage” team.

2nd host. Well done! The participants of the final part of our fabulous performance were determined - the team of "cabbage" in the collection and the team of "gardeners" are also in place. The last competition - "Pull - pull."

A tug-of-war contest is being held. Then the final result is summed up, and everyone proceeds to the most fun part of the skit - eating cabbage pie, which is carefully prepared in advance.

Note:

— tokens with pictures are distributed equally;

- the presenter needs to have assistants for accurate work with the props;

- each competition begins with a choral recitation of a fairy tale, it is interrupted by the hero who will take part in the competition.

For various holidays. We wish you a cheerful mood!

Scenario of a humorous skit for Teacher's Day


Music by Ingrid
The flower enters the stage with a "moonwalk"
Flower So, we start the next issue of "Crooked Mirror"!!!
Matryona appears from behind another backstage
Matryona Look, show off! What do you have here?
Flower Oh, well, you know how to read? It is written: "Issue - 2006"
Matryona Spoke something! Probably in rehearsals all day long? Do they see you at home?
Flower Yes, what am I ... But the teachers have problems ...
The screen opens and on the stage - the choir of teachers. The head teacher is somewhat aloof.
J.:
My husband wakes me up at dawn
And he will come out from work to meet at night,
He rarely sees me at home
And how I look, I will soon forget.
ALL: (to the tune "Airplanes First"
All because, all because
What are you a teacher
And your school, your school
native home,
First thing,
First of all, teach
Well, husband, family and...
Head teacher: All later, later, later.
All: How to relax, eat hunting ...
Head teacher: Work, girls, work.
All: Just give us work
Head teacher: And the bread?
All: Don't! What do we have for breakfast?
Head teacher: Olympics!
All: And the conference in the afternoon!
Head teacher: This is not a joke!
All: What about for dinner?
Head teacher: Dinner is bad for the stomach!
The screen moves. On stage Flower and Matryona.
Flower Oh, poor, I feel sorry for them ...
Matryona But what slender! But it's not easy, of course.
Flower Still, in the lessons you hear enough of this - your ears wither ...
The screen is moving. Bench with students.
Kaleidoscope of lessons
call sound

History lesson (funny scene)
Alesya, tell me what subsistence farming is.
Pupil Subsistence farming is a farm where there are sheep, goats, dogs for personal use.
Subbotina (noise behind the screen) Who is that there? A. probably, again Kalugina, Timoshchuk and Gubanova did not have time to leave the dining room before the bell rang. (a note slips under the screen) What else is this? (opens, reads).
Student Valentina Vladimirovna, and you write the answer ...
Subbotina (writes the answer and at the same time says it aloud) So, let's continue the discussion (again, a note) Reads: "But we are ashamed."
call sound

comic scene"Russian Lesson"
Student Svetlana Alexandrovna, how do you spell the word "absolute"?
Roma, take a dictionary and look.
STUDENT (looks in the dictionary "There is no such word here.
Antonova How is it not? What letters are you looking at?
Pupil "Well, of course, on the" o ".
call sound

technology lesson humorous scene
Teacher Well, girls, now let's check homework. So what is a pocket?
Pupil This is a cloth for a cell phone, which is sewn on top of clothes.
TEACHER Not ready again.
Pupil You don't love me at all, and I won't make your papier-mache.
call sound

Physics lesson school scene
Teacher: The topic is very difficult and important, so strain your brains. So, let's solve the problem. A squirrel with paws full of nuts was placed on a smooth horizontal table and pushed towards the edge. Approaching the edge of the table, the squirrel sensed danger. She understands Newton's laws and prevents her from falling to the floor. How?
Pupil If the squirrel is not a fool, then it quickly gnaws nuts and slows down on a small shell, as on sand on ice, although, of course, it will get hit on the ears for a scratched table.
Teacher: What is that noise? (a fern pokes through the screen)
Ringing sound

Math lesson - funny scene
Teacher: All problem numbers are written on the blackboard. Decide. To whom there are few tasks - come, I will puzzle.
Student (holds out her hand)
Teacher: - ___________, why are you raising your hand? Have you already decided?
Student - No. I dry my manicure.
Teacher - Tell me, Zhenya, why are you all the time some kind of sleepy?
Student: - And it is in me that talents are dormant.
Teacher: - What is more hypotenuse or legs?
Student: - It depends on how to put a triangle.
Teacher: - Children, what will be the 7th 8th?
Student 78!
Teacher: Yes? What is the 8th 7th?
Student 78!
Teacher: How so?
Pupil From the permutation of the factors, the product does not change!
Teacher: What kind of students have gone today? Once I explained it to them, the second, the third, ... I already understood everything myself, but they don’t understand at all! OK. Take your diaries and write down your homework: the last three problems on page 109, then the entire 110th page, the first twelve problems on 111th ...
Pupil Poor daddy! Again, without a day off.
the bell is ringing

Chemistry lesson school scene
Teacher: - Children, your time is over, let's evaluate the results. Masha, what color is your liquid?
Student - Red
Teacher: - Well done, Masha, five. And you, Dima?
Student - Orange.
Teacher: - Well done, Dima, four. And you, Maxim?
Student - Black.
Teacher: - Lie-and-and-and-and-and-s! ..
the bell is ringing

Scene - Literature Lesson
Disciple (mumbling) I am sitting behind bars in a damp dungeon ...
Teacher: Kolya, how do you read! Need to same with expression!
Student Irina Vladimirovna! what expressions! This is Pushkin!
Teacher: Who is Eugene Onegin?
student don't know
Teacher: And Chatsky?
Student I don't know.
Teacher: So, so, you don’t know anyone here ...
STUDENT Why no one? I know Schwartz, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris...
Teacher And with this knowledge you are going to live in Russia?
STUDENT Where is it?
Teacher: Yes. case is hopeless. Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you! "In the cold winter season" is written separately, and the dot in front of the ru is not put ... (in the cold winterpo.ru)
the bell rings.

Funny scene Social studies lesson
Teacher: The theme of our lesson is "The Spiritual World of the Personality." In order for a person to be spiritually rich, it is necessary ... ... So, what needs to be done in order to become a spiritually rich person?
Student: It's easier to die!
Contribute the current model of the loser
Teacher: A model of a loser from the end of the 20th century, made in full size. Outwardly, she is no different from a good student, but inwardly ...
(point to head)
- What do you think it is?
All: head.
Teacher: - What do you know about the head?
1 student (raises hand). One head it's good, but two better.
Loser: Ha-ha-ha! You and one of mine will be enough to make everyone's head spin!
Teacher: Let's move on. These are two ears. Why two?
Loser: - So that it flew into one and flew into the other ...
Teacher: - The eyes are given ...
Loser: - Look into other people's notebooks. Written off - order!
Teacher: This is the mouth. What for? To speak...
Loser: - But I did not learn! And I forgot my notebook! ... Why a deuce?
Teacher: Let's move on. These are hands...
Loser: - Why are you so little about my hands? You talked a lot about the hands of an excellent student. Yes, the whole class and the whole school are crying from my hands and feet: broken glass, torn lessons, pulling braids, unscrewing nuts from chairs and tables, covered tables, notes in all directions - my work ...
Teacher: - Yours, yours ... There are questions
Loser student: - And we will leave the school, will there still be such people?
Teacher: - We wish you that this was the last loser in your school life(taken away, he resists).
Loser: - I'll leave myself! They took the fashion to criticize ...
Grandmothers take the stage

Matryona Yes-ah-ah ...
Flower But when I was at school, I was also like that.
Matryona (singing) Three hundred years ago...
Flower Look at yourself ... (slips a mirror to her, Matryona screams in fright). See what a change!
Matryona Let's talk about change.
The screen is moving.

Scene with the head teacher

A strict-looking head teacher and a girl appear. The girl is pretentiously dressed, she has pieces of paper in her hands.
Girl, we are here for you.
Head teacher What's the matter
Girl Here, sign the application.
Head teacher Statement. What's the other statement? (Takes paper from the girl's hands, reads.) What are you asking for?
GIRL Let go of the lessons. Sign there.
Head teacher Will you sign? Released from class? Where are you so dressed up? That's not the way to go to school.
Girl I'm leaving on business
Head teacher What other case
Girl I'm going to the competition.
Head teacher What competition
Girl School Ideal
Head teacher School ideal? And who is our ideal?
Girl I'm what?
Head teacher Well. if you are an ideal, then I am our Minister of Education. Yes, you would have pulled yourself up at school first, what is your ideal? Tell me why you moved from fours to threes
Girl Yes, I've been behaving perfectly for 3 weeks, and in half a year I have only 3 triples!
Head teacher I won't sign anything, take your application. You have a lot of lessons, I have work. Take your application, go and study. (leaves)
Girl (running for the head teacher). Yes, I'm good, kind! Really, Balkina?
Grandmothers on the stage.
Matryona Oh, what a girl! Well done!!! Artist! Worthy change is growing.
Flower Matryon, and you know, actresses should not only be beautiful, but also be able to dance, sing ditties (the sounds of music are heard). Oh, someone is already singing!

Teachers sing ditties with wishes for the signs of the zodiac.
I go out and start
Sing your ditties
May always words of love
Caress your ears.

There's a picture on the wall
There is a sailboat in the picture
Let the scales need less
There will be a syringe and a thermometer.

So that they don't rob me
I ride in a tank.
Aries I want to open
Swiss bank account.

On the sofa lay
The blanket is wadded.
Let the fish dream.
The most pleasant.

There are domestic dogs
There is a dingo dog.
Virgos to get the jackpot
In the Bingo lottery.

I want to congratulate the calves
And pat on the back.
Let them give you gifts
Just like Yakubovich.

Raspberries grow in that forest,
And there are mushrooms.
I wish the shooters bucks
How many leaves in the garden.

Doctor pulled out of the kidneys
The stones are huge.
And let the lions have stones
Only precious ones.

We all came from mountains
And cool berezhka.
We wish Capricorn happiness
And two bags of gifts.

I'm sitting on a log
I look at the sun.
I wish scorpions
On the sea beach lying.

I go out to dance in a circle.
Move aside, dear friend!
Gemini I wish everyone
One hundred friends and one hundred girlfriends.

In the field - wind, lights,
Far roads.
Cancers don't get hurt
Miscellaneous concerns.

Aquarius I wish life
Like in high society.
And for this open
Your site on the Internet.

Congratulations on your graduation
And with all our hearts we wish
So that health is a whole cart,
So that there are more stars in the life,
To get a little trouble,
To sing and dance!
Matryona And to be honest, I don't believe in these horoscopes. Whoever was impatient, then he was born. It all depends on the parents.
Flower What is that noise? Their meeting has already begun.

Scene " Parent-teacher meeting"
Zh .: - Dear comrades parents. We have invited you today to report on new outrages committed by your children.
Antonova Dear fellow teachers, our houses are next to your school, and we see with our own eyes what your students allow themselves.
All your children.
All your students.
Ian I wonder, who brings mobile phones with terrible sounds from home and turns them on in class?
Z. And who makes children saw the legs of chairs at home, allegedly doing homework for work?
M. And what if you do all the homework for your children?
C. You ask stupid tasks and want the children to get smarter from this!
J. Ah. how good we are! It is only interesting how many of our fives of your pay are enough to encourage children?
A. And our calculations with children do not concern you.
I. And you saw what your children did with the walls of the school.
Antonova That's right, but who taught them to write.
Jan So it didn’t stop the school from helping to improve the territory
Z. That's right, right, otherwise you come for a child, there is nowhere to put the car, what's the matter? It's time to organize a parking lot.
M. So do it, your children.
S. No, your students...
All your children.
All your students...
Flower Stop, draw, the question remains open.
Matryona The eternal dispute between parents and teachers, and it will never end ... (sings, and the Flower dances)
And I notice more and more (2 times)
That this dispute did not give birth to an answer
Children do not dream about us - (2 times)
They replaced us with a computer.
CHORUS:
What happened yesterday - it's time to forget
From tomorrow, from tomorrow.
And at school, in the family and, in general, everywhere
We need kids, we need kids
The screen opens and the teachers sing a song to Ingrid's music.
We sing for you…………… Only for you!
These seven wonderful years flew by like a dream.
Every one of you was a teacher, of course, secretly in love
All the years in unison, or in time, our hearts beat
Unfortunately, everything is over, and it's time to leave.
But don't cry…………. Things are good!
We are sad, but you have a colorful life ahead of you.
Boldly you along the winding path and proudly go
All the calls to moms and dads are already over, complaints are over
But just be an adult, you wait, wait.
We will miss you! Come again!!!

Scenario merry skit for the anniversary


There are 5 actors on the stage, four of which will later play musketeers.

1. Three Musketeers - in fact, "in juice" -
2. And D'Artagnan - "Balzac ... growth" -
3. They decided to celebrate the anniversary simply,
4. With dignity - well, in general, "on a gallop"!
(They retire behind the screen to change into musketeers)

Leading.
For this I had to forget the gout,
And osteochondrosis, and force sciatica,
Toothache in the back, pleuro-nephritis,
Lie down in a sanatorium and taste ...
The head of one of the musketeers (above the screen). …Fi, sir!..
Presenter (correcting) .... turn on the Via Gru!

(An excerpt from the song of the group "Via-Gra" "There is nothing worse than being like everyone else")

Leading.
And the result speaks for itself:
They got together...
(Musketeers enter. All but Porthos, who has lost a lot of weight, are generally recognizable.)
... they look ... and what do they see?
D'Artagnan. The stigma is bruised by the shoulder rose,
Athos went through life without reproach,
Aramis. And on his forehead - notice! - high
It didn’t affect (it’s necessary!) NOTHING!
Athos. From Aramis came the Pope.
Sinless, quiet, doesn't drink or scream.
Porthos. According to rumors, however, sometimes treacherously sticks out
Sutana - female - from the closet!
ARAMIS (offended, sarcastic at Porthos).
And our Porthos? - A dork, he almost fell into a coffin,
Fell victim to annoying ads:
D'Artagnan. "From minimal wonder scars
To the maximum liposuction!”…
(The indignant Porthos attacks the offenders, but Athos stands between them.)
Athos. ….Stop!
The Gascon strangled Boyarsky in himself,
Shaved his mustache and hat and stepped on his throat
To that song (sings: “Bye-bye- shaking the feathers on the hat ...”),
He is the most-very old-timer in the TV show
And fed up with teleglory!
(Excerpt from the song of the group "Via-Gra")

Leading. So the result speaks for itself:
They got together...
(Friendly brawl to the music, playing a duel, then freeze.)
Porthos. ... and a stone has grown in the kidneys ...
Aramis. ... everything is prose .... personal!
Athos. ... ice or fire ... you put
(shows how he put ice on his face)
D'Artagnan. ... man and plastic? Sucks!
(A friendly brawl continues to the music, a duel game, they freeze again, then relax.)
Athos. But after all, twenty is cool!
PORTHOS (pushing D'Artagnan).
Do you remember Cardinal Richelieu?
ARAMIS (pushing d'Artagnan to the other side).
And the queen! God! Yo-my!..
d'Artagnan (pushing them both).
And these minibuses to England! ..
(They sit down at the table, raise their glasses.)
Athos. Poor Buckingham! Who cares
Instead of heartfelt outpourings of loved ones
Escape from France quietly, in English,
With pendants in an embrace in the morning? ..
Aramis. And in London he was scared at night
Milady lush hair.
Porthos. Bastard with a saber "from Petliura"
Cut off the pendants - and away!
D'Artagnan (imitating Buckingham).
Save! Be or not to be!
O! That is, vile nature -
Milady, evil creature,
Tie manage my shoelaces!
("falls")
I am thin and pale, but proud and gray!
I am a duke! Duke of Buckingham!!!
I summit do foreign!
My image, oh, damaged!
(Musketeers laugh, raise D'Artagnan.)
D'Artagnan. If not for the devotion of Constance ...
Athos. ... not the audacity of the devilish D'Artagnan ...
Porthos. ... not the friendship of a sword without flaw ...
Aramis. …a big default would shock France!

(An excerpt from a song about Constance sounds.)

Aramis. What women, what times!
Athos. Yes, a bunch of honor, valor and ... nerves!
Porthos. And somehow everyone lived without the euro ...
D'Artagnan. France is strange to me now:
Everywhere paparazzi, autobahns,
"Mercedes", "Volkswagens", highways! ..
Aramis. And do not rush through the oncoming lane! ..
Porthos. Ruined Di Lady - here are the boobies!
(Athos puts the "TV" on the table - an empty frame from the TV.)
Aramis. And the Eiffel Dylda? Well, a statue!
It pierces the clouds, tears the airwaves ...
d'Artagnan (sitting down beside Athos, embracing him).
I'm tired of drinking kefir alone!
You, Athos, let me hug you...
Athos. What prophetic there are squeezers!
You switched the channel to Euro-news.
It's a school holiday.
Porthos. This is a plus!
Everyone (looking through the frame of the TV into the hall).
O! A whole team of Constantius!
D'Artagnan. So is this a school? Twenty years?
There are coincidences in life!
Porthos. And on the table - such a meal! ..
Aramis. I am under a vow of celibacy.
Porthos. Here is the school! Get hurt!
Athos. Surely Olympus is involved,
Yes, Zeus' trace is mixed in here,
Come on, open the door!

Athos. We were able to see clearly
What rested and the capital would
In terms of beauty, talent.
d'Artagnan (pointing to those seated in the hall).
Here are the best diamonds in life!
Porthos. So what are we waiting for this time?
Let's merge with them in an anniversary-ecstasy!
Aramis. SPIRITUAL will be that ecstasy.
Together. O ladies! Musketeers drink for you!
(Raise glasses)


"LANTERNS"

Somewhere on the edge of the earth, under the rim of the toilet, overtaking the Russian national football team, they live louder than Vitas. They smoke NEXT, they drink YAR light beer in one and a half shots, they collect stadiums. They are a pronoun, collect is a verb, stadiums are a noun. They are us. Advertising agency "LIGHTS"!

Well, what, how?
Excellent, not bad, keep up the good work!
This is what I came up with!
We do not have "I", we came up with!
(all) We've got it!
There is work
(all) There is work, there is work!
It is necessary to advertise how indifference appeared. Well, what shall we show?
Yes, don't care, let's not!
Okay, next. Toothpaste"Sorcerer". Well, that's straight to the point! O! Toilet paper "Zeva"!
(all) Zeva, Zeva!
And if so: Toilet paper "Zeva"! Zeva is the queen of warriors!
Next. Another morning in the Arctic!
Ugh…
And if so: Another morning in India.
Well, you're stupid!
Yes, I am!
We don't have "I".
(all) We are fools, we are fools!
Stop it, get out of here. Oh, yes, and call me these ... well, how are they, well, you understand. Well, yes. Esteemed gentlemen actors of our wretched advertising agency, would you agree to accept and fulfill a small order?
Hello. My name is Olesya. I am the owner of the Olesya shoe store. I would like to order an advertisement for my Olesya store from you.
Well, are you taking it? And no objection!

Number "Shoes from Olesya"

So, it seems that with one order they paid off! What do we have next?
Hello!
Hello. Oh, you ordered from us ads last week? And everything is ready. Let's go and see!

Number "Self-defense"

Excuse me, but where is the advertisement for my dandruff shampoo?
How, don't you understand? Well, after all, any no brainer that such hot girls can not have dandruff, which means they use your shampoo!
(angrily) Thank you!
As you already understood, we have lost another serious customer. But you're not used to it. The conversation is not about that now. A serious client called yesterday. He is very dissatisfied with our commercial - an advertisement for the "Wizard of the Emerald City" washing powder. As soon as I went on vacation for a week, and that's it ... Here you are, you were a cowardly lion with us. Why did you ask Goodwin for cognac instead of courage?
Because he said he had cognac!
For you, then, alcoholism is not a disease, but cool? And you, Ellie. You can't wear such a revealing outfit!
Why?
An eight-year-old child from Kansas cannot have Putin's full-back tattoos! So. Oksana Lvovna!
What Oksana Lvovna! I have been Oksana Lvovna for two years now!
Previously, she was Pyotr Sergeevich, and then everything - how cut off!
Tell me, how should I play?.. Am I an extrovert or an introvert? Am I abstracted from the characters or do I correlate with them? How do I feel about the main character?
Who are you?
I am a beetle.
What beetle?
Scene with a hurricane at the beginning. I'm the first to fly.
…
Here you are, what are you doing in the video?
I raise the sun!
So, remember: the sun does not reach the final, especially the first one, especially in the middle of the video!
Can I leave, I won't catch the last bus...
You understand, today, February 23, we have to return two thousand ... rubles for this video to the customer. And here you are. I look at you and think... And I will turn away and that's it - the thought is gone. Understand that advertising is a serious business, so first work, and only then - wine and a restaurant.
Excuse me, can you do it the other way around?
You can: “Narotser and oniv motop a hedgehog!”
Damn, it hurt so badly!
Lucky! Pull the other one, you'll be long-legged!
Here you are. What is your torso preparing for the next video?
Yes, I didn't understand. Is there something wrong with me?
Yes, everything is so, but ... not there! Just think what we are doing?
It's so cold outside, tomorrow I'll definitely wear two thongs to work.
We live with you for the sake of money, so that there are more money, so that an apartment, a car ... Many are ready to step over people. What for? After all, we have not gathered here for the sake of great material gain. It’s just that we are friends, this is our creativity, we live by this ... After all, the main thing in life is not money and its quantity, but what a person has right here. (He points his finger at his heart.)
Nipple!?
Come on! As Cosmopolitan magazine bequeathed to us, go and make up.
Hello, I want to make an advertisement in your agency. I made new song, new disc, and now I would like to.
Great, let's try, we just brought in new equipment, we can try it out. I think you will like it very much.
Oh, thank you, I'm very glad, thank you so mach.

Well, she's finally gone. How tired she was with her constant remarks.
Yes, well, her. I have a problem. I did not wait for my Earring from the Army!
So he just left yesterday!
Well, I couldn't wait for him yesterday!
Lucky you have so many men. But I would so like to hear from a guy at least once: “Ksyusha, you are the most beautiful in the world!” And not as always: “Lord, how old are you?”
And yesterday Maxim took me to the dance! In fact, he laughed so hard.
Upon you?
No, above you - he's your boyfriend!
It's true what they say, guys love beautiful and inaccessible!
Come on, put on some makeup and lock yourself in the closet. By the way, girls, you know that cosmetics that make you and me more beautiful are sold in bottles of 0.5 liters.
Will you eat ... eat, regale, eat, eat food, appear, eat food or eat?
(all). Hawat!
You know, hawala is over, will you eat?
Girls, I have a variant of advertising shovels. Do you remember ordering? Here listen:
Two friends found shovels
And opened up the earth.
Thought, decided for a long time -
Is it copper or not copper?
Or aluminum?
What are you, at all?
And by the way, German scientists have proven that a girl's intelligence is inversely proportional to her breasts...
So, just don't talk about it now!
Yes, don't be offended, you have a great figure. How did you achieve it?
You think it's always been like this. I used to have small breasts and thin lips too, but then I joined the Society of Amateur Beekeepers - that's all. Do you want me to give you a business card?
Yesterday I bought a pack of cigarettes, and there are all cigarettes without tobacco, completely empty!
Kill it!
Girls, I figured it out. New slogan. The new "Ferry" with the aroma of beer. Doesn't wash anything, but it's delicious...
Yes, I look at you and understand that you were not found in cabbage, like everyone else, but in horseradish.
Come on. Better tell me what time it is
Fifteen minutes to seven!
Starting so soon!
Start of what?
Beginning of the eighth!

My God, everything is falling apart. With such success, we only have to advertise the landfill.
You think it's easy for me, right? It's all simple for you - he came out, said a few words and that's it. And me - listen to you all the time. That's what happened to you? Don't worry, let's talk! You don't have to be afraid of me. Understand, doctors are the same people, only we call an injection in the ass an intramuscular injection, a black eye - a subcutaneous hematoma, and an enema ... although no, an enema is everywhere - an enema. I see you have some problem?
Yes, a big problem!
You don't need to keep it inside, you need to open up!
It will be hard for you to understand me!
What are you. Together we can solve your problem! What is the reason for your discomfort?
Yes in you! I hate you, and your voice is stupid! (Blow.) Oh! Feel better! (Blow.) You look, ah! How good! (Blow.) Well, that's another matter!
And now, when we got to know each other better, let's move on to our session of psychoanalysis. But to make it easier for me to work, you will need to answer a few questions. Answer quickly and don't hesitate! So, what do you like to watch on STS?
NTV!
Continue the phrase: "Oh, sports ...!"
Oh sport, you are sweat!
What do you pay attention to when you take oil for your family?
On surveillance cameras and security.
Well, that's understandable. Your reaction is all right. Guess the riddle: From the left - 2, from the right - 3. What is it?
Do not know!
It's just 23!
Doctor, I have a problem with alcohol!
Are you suffering from alcoholism? What for? Get high! (She caught herself.) Sorry. What happened?
No money!
Well, it's not just you. And this is understandable. Now tell me about your personal life.
I have not it. You see, I yesterday with such interesting man met...
So how is it?
How to say! Neither fish nor fowl…
Mushrooms? Sorry.
You see, in Russian there are a lot of hissing and whistling, by the way, I meet one of them.
Oh, how bad everything is! Okay, let's leave personal life alone. Tell us about an interesting incident from your life. Was it like this?
Of course there was. Literally this morning. Imagine, I'm sitting, drinking coffee, once, and drank.
Tell me, what did you want to be as a child?
Robin Hood!
Defender of the poor?
No, I just wanted the same tight leggings and a hat with a feather.
Well, here you go, don't be upset. Relax and keep believing, he is, he exists, today I saw him in a dream. He is.
Who?
Such a pink sweater with rhinestones!
Truth? You helped me so much!
Yes! And at the end of the session, let's join hands and imagine that great human happiness has fallen to the ground!
And what happiness, muskrat or mink?
Ksyusha, Ksyusha! Big order! We got a huge order! We start filming right now! Let's run and see

Room "Women's underwear"

Stop, filmed! Great, great video! Bravo girls!
Hello! I, like, want to order advertising. Well, it's, like, my product. There he is in the box. I'll be back in an hour!
How about in an hour? We will not be in time, you must understand that we have other orders!
I don't think you understand this. If after an hour my order is not completed, you will not make any more orders.

*******************************

When we nevertheless climb out onto the ice hump and roll along the wide ice spill, it is hard to believe that everyone is safe.
Then the snow went deeper and deeper, and the deer stopped. From the first sledge one could see the tops of the backs and horns. Then the three of us - Lyoshka, Shkil and I - go ahead to the snow barrier. Polynyas should be close. What does close mean? One hundred meters, a kilometer? It's one thing to run a hundred meters along a cinder path, swim along the Black Sea coast, follow the deer along a rocky ridge. Another is to climb in fur trousers on a tarpaulin one hundred meters through a dense snow wall in a twenty-degree frost.
Leaning on the chest, we break through it. Leshka is huge, he stretches out his long legs like stilts, leaving behind him only pits, not a passage. We pushed through like this for almost two hours, then the snow became lighter, its height was less. And then a channel opened with a polynya and a reddish bank of a small river that melted for tens of meters without snow, like in summer.
Black streams run from the snowdrifted forest. On the shore, water bubbles in a small round funnel and, overflowing it, splashes out in a tiny stream and flows down the thawed earth into an open stream.
I squat at the funnel, accidentally touch the ground with my bare hand and startle in surprise - the ground is warm! As if I touched her living body. Thermometer in the funnel! Almost fifteen degrees... The living pulse of the Earth beats at your fingertips.
People walk, swim, travel around the planet, fly over it. The pilots have the sky before their eyes, and they live in it. For sailors and submariners, the soul is dissolved in the sea. And those who walk the earth and touch it with their hands feel it all - its firmament, its water and air. Citizens forget about the land because it is covered with concrete, asphalt and stone.
The water in the funnel is tasteless, smells of hydrogen sulfide, obviously, and mineral, not for drinking. So, maybe for treatment? Let's find out. And suddenly, someday someone will live here, be treated and remember us. And I see that motor sledges will begin to walk in the winter, and in the summer they will hover, and mini-helicopters will crackle over the flowering oases. Only tourists will ride reindeer, as they now ride horses in lacquered double-horse carriages in Rome. And a taxi meter will be attached to the sledges, like on those luxurious cabs that stand for hours at the Colosseum.
Lunar Crossroads
Above the tops of the mountains, a big bright moon shines a little to the side, stretching changeable shadows behind the sledges - as if we are sailing in a transparent light on dark ice barely covered with snow. Ole * nor run easily and evenly. Soon tributaries should appear on the left and right. On one of them up - our way.
I look ahead. And suddenly... Vanka quickly turns around and reins in the reindeer. He saw it too. And I wave my hand to him - down, and whisper excitedly, if only I understood by my lips - stop!
The deer stop. Ahead is a wide and even giant ice crossroads of four rivers, cleanly swept by the winds. Like an endless ballroom with a green glass floor. The crossroads are steeply compressed by mountains, snow-covered trees go up the slopes in steps into the black sky. Ice mysteriously shimmers under the moon. And along the largest circle, past all four gorges, darkening lost And muffled, slowly moves a round dance of high, wavering snow ghosts.
The swaying and unsteady white figures are stretched high up. They are made of fluffy snow and, it seems, of moonbeams. The winds of the four valleys, colliding here, raised this whirlwind. The white figures move, performing their ritual dance. From the figures, light transparent covers scatter to the sides, and as if someone invisible is removing them from the shoulders of the white dancers. In dogs, in such cases, the hair stands on end, as well. our meek deer somehow became especially worried and began to back away.
The figures either straighten up, then bend down, almost disintegrating, and again, supported by whirlwinds, rapidly ascend upwards. Perhaps no one should see them?
And all this in complete silence, deep and incomprehensible silence. I can hardly catch my breath and I am afraid that even from him they can crumble and disappear, and then I will lose something unexpectedly dear to me. And I want them to continue their mysterious dance in silent solitude.
The distant river and the night and this extraordinary round dance of blizzard ghosts ... Is it really possible that if you travel through the valleys on moonlit nights, you will find this and somewhere else, or maybe you will see something else, no less amazing, which is still impossible to imagine?
I did not dare to drive through the ghostly round dance - who knows, what if we destroy it?


Scene for Valentine's Day. Two cupids with a bow and arrows go out to do their job. An unusual scene where participants will need to go down to the auditorium.

The plot is this: the girls decide what to give their boyfriends on February 23rd. Only ladies participate in the scene. Finally, a legitimate reason to drive the men into the auditorium and enjoy the scene from the heart.

This scene can be put on March 8, and on a bachelorette party. The plot is already revealed in the title: best friends tell everyone the secret of how to make and not lose best friends. All, of course, with humor.

A scene for March 8, in which men will joke about typical female things. This scene will well dilute the concert dedicated to International Women's Day.

It is difficult not only for women before February 23, but also for men before March 8. Everyone solves the most difficult task - what to give?! That's what we're joking about in this scene.

This scene can be shown at a concert in honor of March 8, and at a corporate party of a beauty salon or store. After all, everyone wants to laugh at stereotypical approaches to female beauty.

Imagine that car designers finally decided to create a purely feminine car. Yes, and give it to women on March 8th. You understand that this scene is very funny.

Scene for a birthday or anniversary. It can be quickly shown on any free spot in a cafe or restaurant. Birthday party for joy and guests for fun.

Another humorous scene on the topic of finding a birthday present. Choosing a gift is especially difficult. And in this case, the problem seems to be completely unsolvable. In this story, both the guests and the birthday boy recognize themselves.

By the way, this scene is also suitable for the anniversary. From five to 10 people can participate in it. The more - the more fun the scene will be.

Sketches about school, study

By the name of the scene, it is already clear that it is the most school-like one. The plot is as follows: the principal of the school calls a meeting to prepare educational institution to the arrival of a strict check.

It is always interesting to imagine how children will be taught like this in forty, fifty years. And if you add humor to these dreams, you get a good scene for a school concert.

We tried to imagine how officials come up with new topics for graduation essays. This scene will look organically in a concert on the occasion last call or high school graduation. It can be played by both teachers and students.

Imagine that the famous TV presenter Andrei Malakhov quit his TV shows and began working as a literature teacher. In the skit, we tried to show what his lesson would look like.

Imagine that because of the crisis, it was decided to hold a summit of leaders of all countries of the world in one of the children's health camps. The scene is also good because it is massive, but everyone does not need to learn the words.

New Year's scenes

Dynamic, modern, and most importantly - funny New Year's scene. The beginning is this: Santa Claus reads the children's letters and is finally disappointed in them.

Scenario New Year's party for younger students. Jack Sparrow, young hacker, Ded Moroz and Snegurochka in one scenario. Humor guaranteed!

Dialogue scenes for two presenters New Year's Eve. They will help out your concert, they will connect even the most motley numbers. Jokes are light, funny, New Year's.

Anything can happen on New Year's Eve. The scene is exactly about this: the artistic director arranges a scolding for artists who performed at children's New Year's parties. A scene in the spirit of the Comedy club with a fair amount of childish humor.

The new most relevant script for children new year holiday. Recognizable modern characters: Pyaterochka cashier, Santa Claus, Snegurochka, Baba Yaga, and the symbol of the new year 2019 - Pig.

The classic battle of the Old and New Years has been moved to the walls of an ordinary office. The scene is suitable for a corporate new year party. If your department was asked to stage a scene, take it and don't suffer.

The plot of the scene is as follows: astrologers-predictors compete in predicting the new year for the office staff. As you understand, all your intra-office joys and actualities can be woven into the scene. Success on New Year's corporate party secured!

Let's fast forward three hundred years ago and imagine how Russia switched to celebrating the New Year in winter. Let's do it in the form of a funny scene. If you rent theatrical costumes, the scene will be just bomb.

Actual New Year's scene on school theme. About how hard it is for schoolchildren and teachers on the eve of the New Year. Suitable for school or student KVN on a New Year's theme.

The plot of the scene is as follows: somewhere in the north there is a secret base for the preparation of Santa Clauses. How are they without training? You can show such a scene both at KVN and at the New Year's concert.

Zhigailova Zoya Vasilievna
Position: music director
Educational institution: branch of MAOU secondary school No. 2, Khvoynaya village, Ostakhnovo village
Locality: Khvoyninsky district, Ostakhnovo village
Material name: Methodical development
Topic: Scenario "Cabbage - the first lady in the village"
Publication date: 25.05.2016
Chapter: preschool education

ENTERTAINMENT SCENARIO

FOR CHILDREN OF THE OLDER PRESCHOOL AGE

History and traditions of the cabbage holiday.
Peasant life, its weekdays and holidays have been subordinated to nature since time immemorial, determined by the time of the year and constitute a certain, once and for all established cycle of the labor way of life. So, in late autumn, heads of cabbage poured with earthly juices are taken away from the fields. On this, before the onset of spring, field work is completed, the breadwinner goes to sleep ... Perhaps, no vegetable has attracted such close attention of researchers of all times and peoples as cabbage. Philosophers and historians, doctors and cooks have left us numerous instructions about its magical, healing and culinary properties. According to one of the legends, the Thunderer Jupiter, working on the explanation of two contradictory sayings, was sweating from a terrible overstrain. Several large drops rolled down from the forehead of the father of the gods to the ground. It was from these drops that cabbage grew. The story, of course, is uncomplicated, but it shows the respectful attitude of the Romans towards the ancient vegetable. Apparently, the very word "cabbage" is somehow connected with this legend, because. it came from the ancient Roman "caputum", which translated into Russian means "head". Even the ancient Greeks and Romans attributed to cabbage the ability to soothe headaches, cure deafness, relieve insomnia and various internal diseases. Our ancestors also knew a lot about the healing properties of cabbage. So, in the old Russian medical books we read: “Crushed cabbage, mixed with egg white, and then it is applied to any burn and so their ulcers heal.” One of the first Russian sources that mentions cabbage can be considered Svyatoslav's Izbornik dated 1073. "Kapustnik" in the old days in Russia was called a garden where cabbage was grown. It was the most favorite vegetable in Russia, it was not for nothing that she was called "the first lady in the village." From the Exaltation (September 27) in the villages they began to chop cabbage. The villagers said: “Dream, woman, about cabbage on the Exaltation Day”, “A good man has a pie with cabbage on the Exaltation Day.” Winter stocks were not counted in pounds and kilograms, but in buckets and barrels. Such large supplies are difficult to make alone. That is why women chopped and salted cabbage together for the whole village, moving from house to house. Fortune-telling was held on this day, and beliefs that are associated with matchmaking, so the traditions were observed most often by families in which there was a marriageable daughter. Today, the Cabbage Festival is resuming its traditions and is held in some Russian cities and villages.

"CABBAGE - THE FIRST WOMAN IN THE VILLAGE"

Target:
- Development in children of cognitive interest in the history of our Motherland, in folk wisdom; - Instilling in children a love for folk culture; - Familiarization of children with oral, game and musical folk art; - Raising a culture of communication in children. - Formation of some practical skills and abilities.
Characters:
The hostess, who is dressed in a Russian folk sundress, apron.
Children:
The girls are dressed in Russian sarafans, the boys are dressed in trousers and shirts.
Equipment:
Barrel for chopping cabbage, cleavers (special knives). HOSTESS: Cabbage evenings came to us On horses, on sables, on foxes, ermines. You, gossips, my girlfriends, you come to work for me. Help me to chop the cabbage, Help me to pickle it! (A knock is heard. Girls enter.) CHILDREN: Hello, hostess! Here they come to help you, Yes, chop the cabbage. HOSTESS: Dear guests, make yourself at home. Our comfort at home is visible to everyone: In cramped quarters, perhaps, but not offended! After all, any hut, you know yourself, Is not red with corners, red with pies! Everything that is rich, so happy. First - business, then - pies and fun. Come on, girls, put on aprons so that you don’t stain your outfits, and get to work. (The hostess shows how to chop cabbage in a wooden barrel with knives - billhooks). HOUSEHOLDER: Together with chopped cabbage, whole white heads of cabbage were fermented, as well as cucumbers of the last harvest and apples. There were general rules, customs and signs. For example, cabbage harvested in October is more sugary than that harvested in September, and it is better to chop cabbage for the “young month”, then it will be stronger and tastier. Our ancestors, the Slavs, have been growing cabbage since the 9th century and were the first to invent a way to ferment it. Cabbage was fermented in whole heads, chopped, chopped. There were white and gray sauerkraut. The first was prepared from white cabbage according to recipes that have not changed much to our time. The second - gray - was obtained from the same raw materials, but a layer of cabbage was sprinkled with rye flour along with salt. In this case, if there was not enough juice under oppression, rye kvass was added to the barrel to improve fermentation.
Perhaps it was this method that was the oldest, the original one, which gave the cabbage the name “sauerkraut”, that is, “seasoned with kvass”. MISTRESS
:
Villagers know from childhood how to ferment cabbage correctly. 1 CHILD: I clean, I cut cabbage, And then I rub carrots. I'll salt it a little, And I'll put it in a barrel. 2 CHILD: Mom will put sticks, Dad will press. And when she ferments, Let's pierce with a stick. 3 CHILD: She wandered for a couple of days - It is necessary to take it out to the cellar, Otherwise the Goats will have to take it all, then feed it. HOUSEHOLD: Let's remember what proverbs the people have put together about cabbage. CHILDREN: Bread and cabbage will not allow dashing. Without potatoes, bread and cabbage - what food. OWNER: Well done! Do you know the riddles about cabbage? CHILDREN: 1. Matryoshka stands on one leg, wrapped up, tangled. 2. Patch on patch - Green patches, All day on the stomach Basking in the garden. 3. Yermoshka stands on one leg, on him a hundred clothes are not sewn, not cut, but all in scars. 4. Filat is standing, he has a hundred lats on him. 5. There was a child - he did not know diapers, he became an old man - a hundred diapers on him. 6. Patch on patch, but there was no needle. 7. One hundred clothes and all without fasteners.
MISTRESS
:
Oh, enough, enough! I see that you really know the riddles about cabbage. CHILDREN: And we know fables! 1 CHILD: A village was driving past a peasant, Suddenly, from under the dog, the gates barked The roofs were frightened They sat on a raven The horse drove the peasant with a whip. 2 CHILD: A bear came to the ford ... Plunging into the water! He's already wet, wet, wet Already he's puss, puss, puss... Wet, pissed, got out, dried up, He stood on the deck... Plunging into the water! CHILDREN
:
And we know not only proverbs, fables and riddles about cabbage. Now we will sing ditties about her. 1 CHILD: Put your ears on the top of your head, Listen carefully, We will sing cabbage ditties wonderfully. 2 CHILD: I tried for a whole summer, I dressed, I dressed. And as autumn approached, I gave away all the outfits. 3 CHILD The lady sits in the garden, Dressed in noisy silks. We are preparing tubs for her, Half a bag of coarse salt. 4 CHILD I was born to glory - The head is white, curly. And who loves soup very much -
So always look for me. CHILD Alena dressed up In her green sarafan, Curled the frills thickly, Do you recognize her? Cabbage! CHILD In order for the stove to flare up, It is necessary to turn up the heat, To make the ditty easier to sing, It is necessary to help with dancing. (Boys are dancing) (The girls are starting to work again) HOUSEHOLD: While the conversation was going on, and the work was done. Thank you for your help, dear guests. dance about cabbage, so that next year it will grow bigger and rounder! DANCE: "Welp, twist, my cabbage." Develop you, little cabbage, Develop you, Viloy little cat. Wind, wind, my cabbage, wind, wind my white! ". CHILDREN READ POEMS ABOUT THE BENEFITS OF CABBAGE: 1 CHILD: The house is empty without cabbage, It's not tasty to live without cabbage. We love all kinds of salads with the guys.
We love borschiks for the first time And not only we, probably. And, of course, we love vegetables for the second Ragout. 2 CHILD: Cabbage has a secret - There is simply no without cabbage: Golubtsov, stew, borscht. Eat more vegetables. You'll be all right: Don't get better guys. Become stronger, slimmer And most importantly - smarter! MISTRESS
:
They salted the cabbage, and they sang and danced, they played very merrily. Yes, only games and dances will not be full. While you were having fun, my pies are ripe and the samovar is ready! I invite you all to pies with cabbage! (Children and adults drink tea with pies). Compiled by: Zhigailova Zoya Vasilyevna - musical director of the branch of the MAOU "Secondary School No. 2 in the village of Khvoynaya" in the village of Ostakhnovo

Holiday Kapustnik

Skit script in 4th grade


Held at the end of the 1st quarter of the 4th grade

Folk music sounds.
Children come in with the song “Oh, you canopy, my canopy”, first boys, then girls.

boys:
Ah, you canopy, my canopy
Canopy my new
canopy new, maple
Trellised!
Girls:
Like me, do not walk along these senichki,
I have a sweet friend for the hand
Don't care.
Everything: sing the first verse.

Children become a semicircle.
Teacher:
Every person from childhood remembers grandmother's tales, sayings, teaching proverbs, lullabies that captivate the ear. Folk wisdom, contained in them, brought up over the centuries pride in the talent of the Russian people, love for the language. And in our difficult time, it is our origins, our history that will help us understand and, therefore, love Russia. At reading lessons, the children and I got acquainted with sayings, proverbs, fairy tales - with everything that the Russian language is so rich in. Starting this year, at the lessons of history, which is called "Your Russia", we study the customs of the Russian people, their history. We already know why in New Year dress up the Christmas tree, what is Shrovetide, Carols, Christmas.
There were many holidays in Russia. The most joyful, generous were in autumn, when people, having harvested their crops, made preparations for the long winter. And today, for your judgment, we present a folk holiday that was celebrated in Russia at the end of autumn. Holiday CABBAGE or KAPUSTNIK.
1.
Please, dear guests, please!
Fun and joy to you.
We have been waiting for you for a long time!
The holiday is not starting!
2.
We have something for everyone
Both the place and the word
We stocked up fun for every taste,
To whom - the truth, to whom - a fairy tale, to whom - a song.

(Children sing the song "Golden Bee" and play folk instruments.)

3.
The fields are compressed, the groves are bare,
Fog and damp from the water.
Wheel behind the blue mountains
The sun went down quietly.
4.
Slumbering blasted road
She dreamed today
What is very, very little
It remains to wait for the gray winter.
5.
Autumn leaves are circling in the wind
Autumn leaves scream in alarm
“Everything is dying, everything is dying! You are black and naked
Oh, our dear forest, your end has come!
6.
The royal forest does not hear the alarm.
Under the dark azure of harsh skies
He was swaddled by powerful dreams.
And the strength for a new spring ripens in him.
Teacher:
Let's fast forward to many, many years ago and imagine that we are peasant children. Late autumn has come, It's raining outside the window. Dirt all around and you can't walk on the street. And the children asked mother autumn to change the weather, to be kind and supportive to them.
7. Autumn is wettail! Have pity on my cat, dry her fur. You don't have to cry so much. We love you for the fact that every year you treat you with delicious apples, ripe cabbage.
8. Mother - autumn, calm your anger! You can be kind too. Give us the sun. Let us out for a walk, under the curly rowan for a walk!
9. Autumn - mother, give way to your sister - winter as soon as possible. All the children are bored in the hut, the dirt prevents them from walking.
Call brother Frost. Let him frost the oak forests, whiten the grasses, freeze the dirt.
Teacher:
At the end of autumn, work in the field and garden was completed. It was also possible to rest. People do small work around the house, they sang, they joked. And, of course, in preparation for the winter, they salted cabbage.
The hostess girl comes out: Natasha D.
Come, red girls, to my hut.
Today there will be a holiday of CABBAGE.
Help me chop mother cabbages.
All girls in chorus:
With cabbage you, hostess!

Moms come out in aprons. Boys bring cabbage, carrots, "barrel"
The boys go to the music. Tools.
Folk music sounds soft

Mothers and girls begin to pickle cabbage, the music sounds.
The goat went to the garden
The goat ate onion, garlic,
All white cabbage.
Wife:
I'll take the goat by the horns
I'll take the goat to the market
I will sell a goat for soap,
On white white
On black surmilo.
author:
At that time, the husband is in the yard:
Husband:
- And what, wife, are you white?
Wife:
- Flour, sir, sowed.
-And what, wife, rouge?
- Against the heat stood!
- And what, the wife's eyebrow is black?
- She pinched the ray, grabbed it by the eyebrow!
- And where, wife, white goat?
- And the goat went downhill, broke his head.
- Where's the head?
- She swam for water!
13. Work and hands are reliable guarantees in people!
14. Nothing to do and a cockroach climbs on the ward!
15. So we work that we have no time and wipe our nose!
Teacher:
And the guys came to visit, entertained the working girls with jokes and nursery rhymes.
16. Like ours at the gate
The people are gathering
Everything with spoons
Yes with ratchet!

The boys come in with tools.

17. As our neighbor had a cheerful conversation.
18. Geese in the harp
Ducks in pipes.
19. Tap dances in rattles,
Seagulls in balalaikas.
20. Fluxers in the flute
Cuckoos in whistles.
21. Starlings in bells
They play, play, amuse everyone.

The song "Kalinka" is performed by boys and played on spoons.
(girls and boys sing, boys play instruments)

1. Fiction in the faces of fiction,
Unprecedented and unheard of.
2. A bear flies under the sky
He waves his ears, paws,
He points his black tail.
3 .A pig made a nest on an oak tree
She built a nest, brought out the kids.
Little kids, little piglets
They sit on knots, look at the tops.
They look at the top, they want to fly away.
4. On the mountain, a cow barked at a squirrel
Legs expanding, eyes bulging.
5. Like a rooster in the oven bakes pies
The cat on the window sews a shirt.
A pig in a mortar crushes peas.
The horse at the porch beats three hooves,
A duck in boots is sweeping a hut.
6 .As along the river, along the river,
Riding a redhead on a bull
redhead asked:
-What did you dye your beard with?
- I don't paint, and I don't grease.
I lay in the sun
Pulled up his beard.
7. The village was passing by a peasant.
Suddenly a gate barks from under the dog.
A stick jumped out with a woman in her hand,
And let's beat the horse on the man.
The horse ate lard, and the man ate oats,
The horse got into the sleigh, and the man took it.
8 . Fiction in the faces of a fairy tale,
Unprecedented and unheard!
- Fedul, that pouted his lips
- The caftan burned through.
- Big hole?
- One gate left!
- What did you do today?
I was looking for gloves.
- Found?
- Found!
- Where were they?
- Yes, behind the belt!
- Where are you going?
- For seven miles.
- Kissel slurp?
- No, look for a mosquito!
What kind of mosquito is this?
- Yes, the one who wants to bite my nose.
- Yes, he is with you!
- Where is it with me?
- Yes, on your nose!
- What else is that! I'm going. It whistles around me. I go there - whistle, I go here - whistle. Trouble I think. I climbed a birch - I sit, whistles ...
It's in my nose!!!
- And what happened to me. A bullet whistles, buzzes: I'm in the side - it's behind me. I fell into the bushes, she grabs me by the forehead, I grab my hand - en it's a beetle !!!
- Titus, and Titus! Let's go pray.
- Back hurts.
- Titus, let's go drink honey!
- Let me grab my hat.
- Hey, Foma! Why don't you come out of the forest?
- I caught a bear!
- So bring him here!
- Doesn't work!
- So go yourself!
- Yes, he won't let me!

The girls are finishing their work.

Teacher:
Did you know that in Russia they began to ferment cabbage a very long time ago, back in the 9th century. Other countries didn't know how to do it. Centuries later, Russian people taught the peoples of other countries to make sauerkraut.
This dish is very healthy.
Teacher:
Did you know that there are many types of cabbage.
And today we are giving away cabbage seeds.
Teacher: All:
- Business before pleasure!

DANCE
Children sit on benches.

Teacher:
Cheerful art of the people, intricate game, clever fun in Russian folklore were riddles. Riddles were born a long time ago. In those distant times, our ancestors, trying to deceive the formidable forces of nature, came up with a special secret mysterious speech. For example, a rooster was supposed to be called "bare-legged", thunder - "turai", and a bear during the hunting season "cow". Riddles were born from secret speech.
In the distant autumn rainy evenings, both old and small gathered in a peasant hut. One of the old people began to ask tricky questions:
Puzzles:
1. What does everyone have? (name)
2. A woman is sitting on a jura, her legs dangled into the river. (mill)
3. Filat is standing, there are a hundred patches on him. (cabbage)
4. In the yard there is a mountain, and a hut with water (snow)
5. A blue scarf, a red bun, rolls on a scarf, smiles at people. (sun, sky)
6. First - shine, after shine - crackle, after crackle - splash. (lightning, thunder and rain)

The game "Burners", "At the bear in the forest"
Proverbs:

For work - he could not, for the cause he could not, but he could not find food, dance against us!
I'm not tired of playing, it would not have gone away!
The bells ring well, but the food is bad!
Ah, merrily sung, merrily spun!
-What are the beautiful people gathered here?
-We are craftsmen, we embroider and weave and sing ditties!
1. Everything:
Let me dance
Allow me to stomp!
Is it in this hall
The floorboards will burst!
(Eh one, eh two, that's how things are!)
2. And I stomp my foot
Let me drown another
No matter how much I stomp
I still want to dance!
3. I danced with three legs
Lost boots.
looked back -
Boots are in the corner!
4. In the garden, in the garden,
Artyomka counted our raven.
And what does he care
Who cleaned the cabbage!
5. I'm sitting, eating cabbage,
Tears dissolved,
Because I am today
Got three.
6. I can pickle cabbage
I am not sad from idleness.
Come visit me -
I will treat everyone with cabbage.
7. Lyuba walks between the ridges.
Selects everything:
Where is the cabbage, where is the weed -
She won't understand!
8. Mom sent me
Drive the goose.
And I went out the gate
And let's dance!
9. I go - she sways
All green grass.
I love - she does not believe
My black-browed.
10. In the yard, then on the meadow
ducklings are running
And I'm barefoot from the stove
I thought guys!
11. Let's talk girls
To whom to rake the snowdrifts.
These guys come to us
You can't see it from the snowdrift.
12. They brought me to marry
On a gray mare.
All dowry taken
And they forgot me!
13. Don't go, girlfriend, get married
Married to neither
Don't look at another
Everyone look at one!
14. I found a broom in the kitchen
And I swept the whole house.
And left of him
Two straws in total!
15. Don't scold me, mama
That she spilled sour cream.
Antoshka walked past the window
I had no memory!
16. I walked through the village - the girls were sleeping.
Played the harmonica - got up.
Get up, wake up
The windows are gone.
17. There were three, there were four
Brought to one
Trusted, circled
There is no one left.
18. Oksana, Anya
Drinking tea.
samovarnichala,
I broke all the dishes -
She did the cooking.
15. Everything
We sang ditties to you,
Is it good or bad.
And now we ask you
For you to clap us.
Teacher:
Leading a round dance is not just “walking in circles”. It is also to sing, and dance, and play some role. In a round dance, people rejoiced or were sad together.

Round dance with parents.
The song "In the field stood a birch"
Poem about Russia by S. Vasilyev
Song "My Russia"

And now, dear guests, please come to the table.

Children with trays.
They name the dishes.

 

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